Second Chances (13 page)

Chapter Twenty

ALLEGRA CLUTCHED HER sides, aching with laughter. If she had been asked to put money down on how she thought this evening was going to turn out, she’d have gone for 10-1 odds on “total disaster” and 5-1 on “teeth-grindingly tedious”. It had come of something of a surprise when Binksy called her on behalf of Auntie, inviting her out to dinner — and Auntie was not someone that anyone said “no” to, least of all Allegra.

Most
unexpectedly, they’d ended up at a tiny little dai pai dong deep in the heart of Kennedy Town, where Auntie had ordered an alarmingly large feast and then proceeded to take over the cooking after haranguing the chef about his totally inept and entirely incorrect methods. The wizened old man came and sat at the table with Binksy and Allegra, grinning toothlessly as he supped on a Tsing Tao, telling them in fractured English that he loved it when Auntie came in because it always gave him a break from cooking.

It
turned out that he and Auntie were siblings — well, part-siblings: same father, different mother. Then they’d all tucked into Auntie’s cooking. Even Binksy dug in enthusiastically, her hearty appetite yet another factor which set her apart from her fellow models, who appeared to survive on tobacco smoke and designer water alone.

‘So… Auntie say you look for man?’ the old fellow suddenly said, grinning at Allegra. ‘Ha! You pick me! I still strong, can make many baby!’

Allegra
smiled, shook her head demurely and asked Binksy to tell her uncle that as flattered as she was, she couldn’t possibly accept his kind offer of helping her to “make many baby”.

‘He wants to know why,’ Binksy duly translated on his behalf. The elderly man had given up attempting to communicate directly with Allegra in English; the effort was too great for him.

‘Why? Oh Lord, what can I say that won’t be too horribly offensive?’ yelped Allegra. ‘Help me, Binksy!’

Binksy
turned back to her uncle, whispered something discreetly in his ear. At first, he looked disappointed, then he looked shocked, then he looked positively gleeful, cackling away as he pointed at Allegra and jabbered something to Binksy in Cantonese.

‘What on earth did you say to him, Binksy? He looks like he’s going to have a stroke,’ Allegra said.

‘I told him you’re a lesbian,’ Binksy said, blithely. ‘And now he wants to know if he can watch.’

Once
Auntie had clarified the situation with Uncle, and chastised Binksy for telling such a ghastly untruth — ‘She no lesbian! Lesbian is crazy woman, and Allegra, she not crazy!’ — dinner proceeded with Auntie dominating the conversation, dispensing helpful advice to everyone in the restaurant, it seemed. Suddenly, she turned her attention towards Allegra and grabbed her bowl, peering into it intently.

‘What is she doing? … Is she reading my noodles?’ Allegra whispered to Binksy. ‘I thought that only worked with tea leaves.’

‘She’s not reading your noodles, you idiot,’ Binksy said. ‘Auntie’s just convinced she can tell a lot about someone by what’s left in their bowl. What you push aside or don’t eat is an indication of your mental or emotional health. Or something.’

Allegra
stared at Binksy in complete befuddlement. Binksy, in turn, shrugged her shoulders. ‘I don’t know,’ she said. ‘I gave up asking a long time ago. It was just easier that way.’

Auntie
was tut-tutting and shaking her head disapprovingly. She eyed Allegra intently from time to time and then, finally, put her bowl down with a sigh, looking most put-upon. She rapped an order at Binksy, apparently to begin translating for her; Binksy struggled to keep up with her rapid-fire analysis of all that was amiss or just plain wrong in Allegra’s life.

‘You’re too lonely. So lonely that it hangs over you like a cloud, and this cloud is blocking others from seeing you properly. You have a deep hole… no, wait, I mean, a deep chasm in your soul, a chasm filled with pain. Your soul cries from within this chasm. Those cries are frightening for any man who tries to approach you; you have to wait until you meet a man with no fear before you can be happy again.’

Binksy
stopped to catch her breath before continuing. ‘But such a man with no fear is also dangerous. You made a foolish mistake recently, one that is making you run and hide now. Auntie says you shouldn’t worry too much about that mistake, because some of the most wonderful things often result from bad errors of judgment.’

Binksy
paused, signalling Auntie to stop for a moment while she took a sip of tea. Allegra was completely thrown. ‘She got all that from a half-eaten bowl of noodles?’ she asked, incredulously.

‘Shh, she’s not done yet,’ Binksy said, for Auntie had grabbed Allegra’s bowl again. ‘Ah, here it comes, the big revelation… There is a man in your life. He’s younger than you. You like him very much, but you don’t know for sure how he feels about you. Auntie says she can’t tell from your bowl. But she sees that your story together has many pages to go.’

Auntie
stopped and, carefully, put the bowl back down on the table. She clasped her hands to her chest, then raised them heavenwards for emphasis as she yapped her final prognostication at Binksy. Binsky turned to Allegra.

‘And, she says, you need to eat more vegetables. You’re looking too pasty.’

Chapter Twenty-One

CLIVE SAUNTERED INTO the bar with a bounce in his step and a gleam in his eye. So the bastard thought he could woo his girl, did he? He’d show him. Allegra was just too dazzled to realise that the boy was playing her for a fool, that it was really him, Clive, that she should be mooning over like a lovesick puppy. He had thought that night they spent together would have sorted her out, set her straight. But no, she had been avoiding him, always making excuses to not see him again.

Clive
knew what was really up. It was Jack, that feckless git, who was on her mind. Clive thought he couldn’t possibly be more jealous of anyone. He liked Jack well enough; he was a nice bloke. What he didn’t like was how Jack had become so close to Allegra. That just wasn’t on. So, as Sun Tzu — or was it Machiavelli? — once said, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer”.

So
he was going to be Jack’s best friend now. Learn more about him, get closer to him, maybe drop little comments about Allegra, nothing to make her come off too badly, but enough to make Jack realise she was out-of-bounds to him. And maybe he might also figure out just what the hell it was that Allegra saw in this guy who was, as far as Clive was concerned, nothing more than a long-haired, baggy-trousered dopehead. He was like Shaggy out of the Scooby-Doo cartoons. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so he was funny and personable enough, but could he possibly have to offer Allegra? Nada. Niet. Niente. Zip. Zilch. Not like him, Clive.

He
strolled up to the barman, scanning the room and noting that Jack wasn’t there. Well, it was a bit of a long shot; they hadn’t made plans to meet or anything. No, Clive thought, he was much too subtle and cunning for anything as obvious as that. No, he’d just turn up there and, oh, what a surprise to see you here! And is this your lovely girlfriend? (The last bit said very pointedly, of course.)

Taking
his pint of Carlsberg, Clive sat down at a table close to the entrance. That way, he’d be sure to spot Jack if he turned up. He took out his book, placed his phone on the table and lit a cigarette. He might as well look intellectual and mysterious, he figured, just in case Jack didn’t show and some good-looking skirt came in. He’d put on a black shirt tonight (artfully unbuttoned to mid-chest, of course), with black jeans and his big black hiking boots.

With
a light black jacket over his shoulders, he fancied he looked a touch bohemian as well, kind of like how he imagined Johnny Depp (who Allegra fancied) might dress for a night out at a bar.

‘I’m sorry, is this seat taken? It’s just that there’s no more space at the bar and all the other tables are full, you see…’

Clive
looked up with a start. He hadn’t even realised he’d fallen asleep over his book. Fuck fuck fuck. He looked frantically around the room. No Jack. Had he missed him? Had he been and gone? Then he glanced at his watch and saw that barely half an hour had passed since he first sat down.

‘Excuse me… but did you hear me?’ The girl looked a little concerned now. She had blue eyes, dark, wavy hair in a shoulder-length bob and a slight build, although Clive noted with approval that she did have a very fine pair of breasts on her. He liked breasts. Especially fine breasts. Her voice was tinged with a hint of an accent he couldn’t quite place.

‘I do apologise,’ he said, remembering his manners at last and getting to his feet. ‘Please, sit. And let me get you a drink to make up for my utter rudeness. Are you… on your own?’

The
girl wondered if maybe she should just have gone to the bar around the corner; it was a seedy dump but at least she was in less danger of getting hit on by blokes who fancied they were Neo out of The Matrix. Okay, so it was still pretty much summer, but who wears sunglasses at night and indoors, anyway?

‘Yes, I’m by myself, but I’ll get my own drink, thanks. I’m not staying for more than one, anyway. Just needed to get out of the house for a while…’ The girl gave him a small, tight smile as she sat down and turned to wave at a waiter.

Pushing
his shades up his forehead in a Swiss ski-instructor kind of way, Clive was greatly encouraged. She obviously fancied him something rotten. Maybe she could help fill the void while Allegra was off being pathetic over Jack. So when the waiter came over, he brushed aside her protests and placed the order: another pint for him, and what would the little lady like? A cocktail? Perhaps Sex on the Beach? A Long, Slow, Comfortable Screw? Or should we just cut to the chase and go for a Screaming Orgasm straight up?

The
girl started to laugh, so Clive took this as a good sign and told the waiter to bring all three concoctions for her. This night was looking promising, despite Jack’s no-show.

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh, but it’s just I’ve never heard anyone actually order those drinks before,’ she said, shoulders still shaking with mirth. ‘You’ve got a great sense of humour, and I can’t wait to try the drinks, too — I bet they’re all really vile.’

Clive
had actually fancied he was being rather suave and sophisticated by ordering cocktails for her instead of a bog-standard glass of house white, so his cool was slightly ruffled by her giggles. Still, gentleman to the end that he was, he offered his hand and introduced himself.

‘Hi, I’m Clive… Just Clive… man of mystery.’ He waggled his eyebrows and winked at her, making her laugh out loud again.

‘Hello, Just Clive. I’m Abi,’ she said. ‘Short for Abitha. That’s pronounced “ah-bee-tha”. My mum was going through a love affair with A Passage to India when I was born, and thought the name sounded wonderfully Indian or something. I’ve always thought they just forgot to put the ‘T’ on at the front of the name, although they are pronounced differently, Tabitha and Abitha… Oh, I’m blabbering, aren’t I? Sorry, that’s the Irish in me, never can get us to shut up when you want to.’

‘I bet I could get you to shut up,’ Clive leered, winking at her again, sending her into a fresh fit of giggles.

‘You should change your name to Lounge Lizard Larry,’ she said, breathlessly. ‘I’ve had so many blokes hit on me using those corny, cheesy lines, but never anyone who took it to the max like you!’

Abi
had tears rolling down her face, she was laughing that hard. ‘I’m glad you hate that kind of shit too, it must be so embarrassing for you as a bloke to hear other blokes spout that crap and think it’s going to get them a shag.’

Clive
was totally nonplussed. His best chat-up lines, his best “moves”… and she thought he was taking the piss just to make her laugh? Oh well, whatever worked. As a wise Frenchman — or was he Belgian? — once said, get a woman to laugh and you’ve got her half in your bed already.

The
waiter arrived with their drinks, and the sight of the cocktails with their ghastly maraschino cherries and little paper umbrellas reduced Abi to tears of laughter again. Clive smiled. If he could get her to finish all those drinks, plus maybe he’d lay one or two Long Island Ice Teas on her… then he was fairly certain he could lay a couple of other things on her by the end of the evening as well.

Chapter Twenty-Two

LEAVING AUNTIE AT the dai pai dong, where she was happily dispensing more wisdom to anyone else who wanted it (and some who didn’t), Binksy had offered to drive Allegra back to her place. Allegra, in turn, invited her up for a coffee, hoping Binksy wouldn’t be too unimpressed with her little flat.

As
she put the kettle on to boil, apologising for only having instant coffee, Allegra marvelled at how Auntie had managed to dissect her life so finely. Or maybe K had told Binksy, and Binksy had told Auntie, and they were just playing a little game with her. That was a pretty long shot, she concluded finally.

K
was not one to blab, least of all to a model. After all, wasn’t she the one who said, ‘I don’t fuck models I work with. And I don’t work with models I fuck.’ So she’d hardly be likely to be having deep and meaningful discussions with one, either. K’s personal set of do’s and don’ts might seem contradictory or just plain crazy to most people, but they worked for her.

‘So… that was a little freaky for me,’ Allegra said to Binksy with a smile, placing her mug on the table. ‘Not used to having someone see right through me like that.’

‘Oh, don’t worry. I think most of the time Auntie makes it up as she goes along, and sometimes she gets lucky,’ Binksy said. ‘If you think about it, everything she said about you tonight was pretty general in nature, and could probably apply to almost anyone.’

‘I guess,’ said Allegra. ‘And there I was, thinking I was special and one of a kind.’

‘You are,’ said Binksy, quietly. She looked up at Allegra. ‘I think you’re special.’

‘Me? No, not special at all. Just your average woman-of-a-certain age with a shitload of emotional baggage,’ Allegra said, smiling at Binksy and squeezing her hand. She really was a sweetie. ‘You’re the special one. You only have to look at you to know that.’

Still
holding onto Allegra’s hand, Binksy took a deep breath. ‘Can I ask you something?’ she said, uncertainly.

‘Sure, anything. What is it?’ Allegra asked.

‘Would it be okay if I kissed you?’

As
Allegra looked blankly back at her, convinced she was dreaming the entire evening, Binksy leaned forward, biting her lip. She kissed Allegra on the mouth once, then again. As if in a dream, Allegra found herself responding as Binksy moved closer, put her hands to Allegra’s face and pulled her closer. Now her tongue was in Allegra’s mouth, her hands slowly moving lower and softly stroking her breasts.

Then,
moving fluidly, she sat astride her, pulled off her top and put Allegra’s hands to her breasts. Watching her face, Binksy leaned forward, encouraging Allegra to take a nipple in her mouth, moaning softly with pleasure as she did. She guided one of Allegra’s hands beneath her skirt, between her legs and inside her, gasping again, then removed her hand and licked Allegra’s fingers, tasting herself.

‘Binksy…’ said Allegra, completely overwhelmed at what was happening; but oh God, it felt so good, she didn’t want to stop.

‘Shhh…’ said Binksy, sliding down to her knees, lifting Allegra’s dress and slowly kissing her way up her thighs. ‘Shhh…’

Allegra
had never ever had an orgasm by someone simply going down on her, but Binksy… well, she had no idea what Binksy did or how she did it, but she climaxed within minutes. Through the fog of ecstasy, she thought she heard a phone ringing.

‘Oh, crap.’ Binksy was on her feet, scrabbling through her bag, digging out her mobile phone. ‘Wai? Auntie… Hai… okay… hai. I’ll be there in ten minutes.’ She looked ruefully at Allegra. ‘She wants me to pick her up and take her home. Why the woman can’t take a taxi…’

While
Binksy had been speaking to Auntie, Allegra had hastily rearranged herself, and was now in the first flush of total embarrassment over what had just happened. It wasn’t as if that was a first for her — she’d been in a relationship with another woman for two years at university — but now? With a model less than half her age? Allegra was mortified.

‘Binksy… Oh God, I don’t know what to say,’ she said, weakly, trying to find the words to say it had been wonderful, but that it wasn’t what she wanted in her life right then. That Binksy was gorgeous, she loved her to bits, but… not that way.

‘It’s okay,’ Binksy said, smiling. ‘Don’t look so worried. It’s been a long time for me, too. Let’s just say we both needed someone to love us right then, and leave it at that, shall we? I think you’re amazing, and I think we can still be friends… We can, right?’

Allegra
heaved a sigh of relief. ‘Hell yes, I’d like that very much, Binksy. You’ve been good to me, and you really are the sweetest person I’ve ever met. Thank you for… for being brave enough to touch me. Almost no one is. I seem to scare the crap out of them, for whatever reason. Maybe Auntie is right — it’s the screaming of my soul from the chasm of pain that lies within me that frightens away all the boys.’

The
two girls looked at each other, and burst out laughing. ‘Allegra, I’m sure you’ll find someone special,’ Binksy said, kissing her on the cheek. ‘Something tells me that you think you already have. That young man Auntie mentioned. She’s not completely batty, you know. Some of the things she says often turn out to be uncannily accurate… There is a young man, isn’t there?’

Allegra
smiled wistfully, holding Binksy’s hands. ‘Yes, there is. He’s sweet and kind and funny and… and, well, I thought he liked me, too. But that was probably more wishful thinking on my part than anything else. It didn’t go anywhere beyond flirting, and I don’t think it ever will. But c’est la vie, I guess.’

‘Well,
like I always say in situations like this… “whatever!” If it was meant to be, then it will. Otherwise, it won’t. Everything becomes so simple when you see it on those terms,’ Binksy said.

‘Genius! Now can you fix the rest of my life, too?’ Allegra asked, teasing.

Binksy
laughed as she hugged her, then left to collect Auntie and ferry her home. Allegra watched her drive away and wondered if Auntie was right. Did her story with Jack still have many pages to go? She wished she knew if the ending would be happy or sad.