Second Ride Cowboy (Second Chance Series) (4 page)

A tear fell to her cheek, but she was quick to wipe it away. He didn’t need to see her cry. She longed to tell him about their daughter. Each time she started to, she stopped. Why did she hesitate? Telling Duke about Ava should be a proud and happy moment. He should feel so overjoyed he’d wrap his arms around Lila and ask to see his daughter. At the moment, he didn’t seem interested in seeing anyone.

“Duke, I understand what it must be like waking up and seeing things are different—”

“Bullshit,” he barked. “You have no idea.
Nothing
is the same.” As if he moved in reflex action, his hand came up to the left side of his face where post burn tissue marred part of his

cheek.

Lila wanted to tell him the scars had healed a lot compared to how they were right after the accident but she doubted it’d make him feel better. He had no recollection of the days he’d spent wrapped in gauze while his deep wounds healed. But he was right; she had no clue what it’d feel like to wake up from a coma.

“Leave!” His lip curled.

Unbelievable, she thought as she tilted her chin in determination. Sure, she may not grasp what he was feeling, but she’d be damned if he chased her off, especially after she’d waited for him for what seemed like an eternity. “No, I will not.”

His brow wrinkled, as if he couldn’t believe what he’d heard. He gripped the side of the bed and one corner of his mouth turned down. “You have another life, sweetheart. Don’t waste your time on me.”

“Let me explain, Duke.”

He didn’t give her a chance because he was already standing up. He wobbled and Lila rushed to help him. She didn’t make it in time before his body gave out. He fell to his knees and forward onto his face, hitting the hard floor in a sickening blow.

Lila dropped beside him, her heart pounded and her breath was lost. “Duke? Are you okay?”

Placing his palms flat against the floor, he pushed in an attempt to lift himself. Lila helped by tugging his arm, but he shrugged her away. “Leave me alone.”

Pulling back, she looked at him in shock. “You need me.”

An emotionless expression swept across his features. “I don’t want your help. Now for the last time, leave me alone! Get out!”

A sob rose in her throat and she forced it away. Standing, she moved to the opposite side of the room. “I will gladly leave, but not until I say what needs said.”

“I won’t listen,” he said.

He continued to try lifting himself off the floor. She watched quietly in sorrow, wanting to assist him, but his bitterness stilled her. He’d only push her away again, and that’d cut her to the bone. She’d dealt with bitter patients before and she’d learned space was sometimes best. “You have no choice but to listen.”

“Kick a man while he’s down. Very sweet of you, honey.”

“I’d never do such a thing. I can help you up and back in bed for what I have to say or you can stay there. I’d rather you get in the bed where you’re comfortable but I will tell you what you need to hear before I leave, one way or the other.”

He didn’t even look at her as he made another futile shot to stand. She turned away from him, not wanting to see him struggle another moment. Seeing him weak hurt her. He’d always been a willful man and wanting to do everything on his own, but this was more than pride. He seemed broken, unlike the confident, powerful man she remembered.

How could she convince him he’d need to accept help?

Biting her bottom lip, reluctance slithered its way into her courage. She grew tired of second guessing her decision to tell him about Ava. How did she know if the right time was now? Would there ever be a
right
time? She had no reason to keep the truth from him. He was a father. What he did with the information was up to him. She couldn’t force him to be happy that he had a child.

Breathing deeply, she exhaled slowly. “A few weeks after the accident I found out I was pregnant. I was stunned at first, but knew it was a miracle. To have a part of you growing inside me…the feeling is indescribable.” No response. “You’re a father. We have a child together.” Still met with silence, she turned. Her mouth dropped open. He was standing, a little unsteady, but he’d made it to his feet. Delight bubbled inside her. “Duke, that’s amazing.”

All color drained from his features. His mouth thinned and his eyes widened. “What did you say?”

Gulping air, she met his puzzled stare. He looked like he could pass out or do a flip. Twisting her hands, she cleared her throat. “I didn’t know I was pregnant before the accident. I guess I had an idea something wasn’t right. I was eating everything in sight. You and I, well…we’d used protection except for one afternoon by the pond. You may not remember. We’d been caught up in the moment and neither of us was thinking logically. No doubt, one time produced something wonderful.”

“So, not only have I been in this freaking place imprisoned in my body, but we’ve had a child?” His skin paled and he wobbled, but he caught his balance.

“Yes, Duke,” she answered.

“I don’t know what you expected, but you should never have told me.”

CHAPTER FOUR

DUKE’S HEAD ACHED and it felt like it’d burst into a million pieces. What the hell was Lila saying? The muscles in his body twitched and his heart slammed against his ribs as he registered what she’d told him. Damn! He was a father. He had a child? This was madness.

The last twenty-four hours had been a whirlwind and he’d been stuck in the eye of the storm. He’d learned Lila had moved on, and if that wasn’t heartbreaking enough, he’d fathered a child who had no clue he existed.

He saw Lila’s eyes mist over. He tore his hand through his hair and cursed every four-letter curse word he could think of. If she cried, he’d melt like butter. What the hell was wrong with him? He’d never been so sentimental in his life. But it’s not every day a man wakes up from an eighteen-month coma, hears that his love found another and then told he’s a father.

Seconds ticked by like thorns needling his skin. What did a man say in his circumstance? His instincts told him to run, or rather, push her away. He wasn’t fit to be a father before the accident, and now, he’d be worse. He could barely move two feet without falling. On top of that, the accident had left him disfigured. What child could look at him without fear?

“Is this a joke or a nightmare?” His voice was a near whisper.

“Neither.” Her voice was soft. “A child is not a joke or a nightmare.”

He snorted. “I am the joke. By the hands of a bastard, I’ve spent a chunk of my life lying in a vegetable state in some damn hospital bed. I wake up to find nothing is the same, not even me.” He tapped his chest with the heel of his hand.

“Whether you know it or not, I understand the pain this accident has caused. Sure, life changes, but you’re tough enough to overcome this.”

How could she even begin to understand what he was feeling or what he was thinking? He guessed the words were easy for her to say when she’d moved on with her life while he’d been submerged in slumber hell. Anger sliced through him. “How dare you tell me I’m a father. I’m no father; I’m not even man right now.”

She took a small step toward him but he shook his head. Tears slipped from her copper eyes and fell to her pale cheeks. He noticed the shakiness in her fingers as she reached up and tucked

tresses behind her ear. It was a habit, he remembered. When she was nervous, she played with her hair. “But, Duke, her name is Ava and she is your daughter…our daughter. She needs a father.”

Stay tough, McGraw.
He reminded himself for the umpteenth time since he spoke to Chance that Lila was engaged to another man. Duke could not bear to have her stay with him out of an obligation made almost two years before. Child or not, she was better without him.

With a wide roll of his shoulder, he turned and made his way shakily to the bed. Slowly, and with great effort of frail muscles, he sat down. Dizziness shuffled through his brain and his body was exhausted. “Why are you telling me this?”

Her brows knitted. “Why am I telling you that you have a child?”

Keeping his gaze away from her, he couldn’t make eye contact. He kept his attention on the cheap, framed art on the wall. This wasn’t the first time he’d stared at the painting wondering if it were an abstract of a train or the craziness within the artist’s mind. The soft muffled sound of her crying ripped through him, yet he had to do what was best for her. “It’s not like she knows me. I bet she calls Lucas daddy.” His own words tore through him like a hot blade of resentment.

“No she doesn’t. You’re her father, whether you choose to accept it or not.”

He wasn’t going to look at her, no way, but his eyes ached to soak in her beauty. He wanted to touch her, to hear his name on her lips, but he couldn’t overlook the anger embedded within his heart. He wasn’t even sure why it was there. “The doc said it could take months, maybe years, before I get all my strength back.” And emotionally, he was a wreck. “That’s not fair to you or the kid.”

She moved closer. “I’ve thought this over. I’ll help take care of you. I’m a nurse and more than capable of helping you gain your strength and muscle tone. I’ll take some time off work. Ava should get to know you, too.”

He laughed. “I couldn’t even slice a cucumber now, let alone pick up a child. You’re better off continuing with your plans of marrying Lucas. You have my blessing.” He slid back into the bed and brought his legs up, fighting the wooziness. He closed his eyes and wished the room would stop spinning. He needed to be alone.

“Duke, I…”

When Lila didn’t finish her words, Duke opened his eyes. “Save your breath, Lila. Move on as if I’d never woke up.”

****

Lila stood outside the door to Duke’s room. She had an urge to march back in and tell him exactly what she thought of his self-pity act. She wasn’t heartless, but the man rubbed her the wrong way. How dare he turn her away with a cold shoulder, indifferent to her feelings and thoughts? Could he not see that she loved him?

Leaning against the wall, she calmed her frustration. What was she expecting of Duke? She wore the ring, although only for a short time, but it’d been on her finger. He’d seen it and Chance had verified her relationship with Shaun. She guessed beyond the normal confusion of being in a comatose state, he felt she’d betrayed him. Burying her face into her palms, she sniffed back another round of tears.

“You okay?”

Lila peeked through her fingers. Dr. Scott’s dark eyes were on Lila in curiosity. She dropped her hands to her sides and forced a smile to her lips. “I’m fine.” Why hide the truth? “No, I’m not. I guess I wasn’t thinking this would be so difficult. It seems ridiculous that I thought we’d fall back into each other’s arms and live happily ever after.”

The doctor’s smile was sympathetic. “Come, let’s talk.”

Lila followed Dr. Scott into her office and sat down. She took the tissue the doctor offered and wiped her eyes. “He seems almost ungrateful that he is alive and awake.”

Sliding her glasses off, Dr. Scott rubbed the bridge of her nose. “What Duke is experiencing is normal. Confusion, anger, sadness are all emotions comatose patients can experience when they wake up. In Duke’s case, he also has scars he must deal with along with the reality that life has moved on.”

“How do I help him?” Reeling from a ton of emotions, she refused to give up. He needed someone, no matter if he wanted to believe it or not.

Dr. Scott placed her elbows on her desk and clasped her hands together. “Are you prepared for a long road of recovery? He won’t recuperate overnight. Although, as willful as he seems, he could improve quicker than most.”

“Yes, I’m ready to do whatever it takes.” She trusted Duke, even if at the moment he hid behind a wall of protection and anger.

“All of his testing has come back normal. There are no signs of bodily dysfunction besides muscle weakness and scarring. I could sign his release papers as early as the end of the week.”

“In four days?” A mixture of anticipation and anxiety climbed her spine.

Dr. Scott shrugged. “There’s no reason for him to stay here. A physical therapist could come to see him every few days and work with him at home. We advise for patients, if physically possible, to get back to living life as soon as possible. Staying here, in this environment, can be dismal for patients during recovery.”

Lila realized what the Doctor suggested. “Duke would never agree to come home with me.”

“Does he have a choice? Is there someone else? Family? Close friends?”

“No.” Lila knew he had no relatives, at least any he could count on. And she couldn’t ask Chance and Carly to take him in, although she knew they would without hesitation. At the moment, Carly had her hands full with the baby and another on the way, and recently their housekeeper, Thelma, fell and broke her leg. Chance wasn’t working as many hours on the ranch after hiring more hands, but he was consumed with his wife and their son.

Nope, there were no other options.

A buzzing sound interrupted Lila’s thoughts. The doctor checked her pager. “I’m sorry. I have to run. Duty calls.” She pushed back her chair as she grabbed her stethoscope and slid it into her jacket pocket. “You can think about my proposal, but take it very seriously. I understand this could change your living habits.”

Lila hesitated. It wasn’t that she wasn’t sure, but she had Ava to think of. How would Duke treat their child? Would he offer her a cold personality as he had Lila? No, that wasn’t Duke. Lila caught Dr. Scott at the door. “I’ll do it on one condition.” The other woman popped up one thin brow. Evidently she didn’t like conditions. “You break the news to him.”