Second Time Around (33 page)

‘I’m sure he’s sitting in a corner with a book,’ Keith said calmly and started going from room to room, calling for his son.

Noel shot her a guilty look. ‘I’ll check upstairs.’

Seconds later they both returned, without Bobby. ‘Maybe he made his own way home,’ Suzie said, trying not to think of the three main roads between their two houses.

Keith prowled between the kitchen and lounge and returned with a small, dog-eared cushion in his hand. ‘He wouldn’t have left this behind. He never goes anywhere without
it.’

Suzie thought about how Bobby often sat out on the front step. Could someone have taken him?

‘The back garden,’ Noel said, going into the utility room to open the back door.

‘The dog’s gone,’ Suzie said, surprised as she followed them outside and collided with Noel as he pulled up short. ‘What? What is it?’

‘Shush,’ he whispered, and stepped aside to let her see.

Bobby was hunkered in against the shed, wrapped around Percy and fast asleep. It was hard to know where the boy ended and the dog began. Percy looked up at her with an expression that seemed to
say, ‘I’ve got this.’ Keith moved towards them but Suzie put her hand out to stop him. ‘Leave him. That tantrum must have taken a lot out of him. He’s quite
safe,’ she assured Keith when he hesitated. ‘Let’s go inside and have a coffee. You can watch him from the window.’

‘I’ve never known him to nod off like that before.’ Keith said, looking out at his sleeping son.

‘Me neither.’ Suzie sat down, tired. ‘Make the coffee, Noel, will you? I’m done in.’

As her son got to work, Suzie looked through the window but neither dog nor boy had moved. She looked up at her son-in-law’s nervous expression. ‘Really, Keith, Percy is an
assistance dog. He’ll look after Bobby. It’s strange, though. I’ve kept the dog in his bed while Bobby was here, just until they got used to each other. And yet today, when he was
upset, Bobby went to him.’

‘Or Percy went to Bobby,’ Noel said, setting down three steaming mugs. ‘Aren’t dogs supposed to be intuitive? He always goes to sit beside you when you’re fed up,
Mum.’

‘That’s true.’

‘I just can’t understand it. Bobby’s never been around dogs. You’d think he’d be terrified, especially given Percy’s size.’

‘Perhaps Percy understands Bobby more than we do,’ Suzie murmured. ‘Bobby looks more comfortable with him than he is with me.’

‘That’s because you’re a pain in the arse, who’s always screaming and shouting,’ Noel teased.

She took a swipe at him. ‘Have more respect for your mother. Keith, sit down, for feck’s sake.’

Reluctantly, her son-in-law took the seat nearest the window and Suzie told him all about the dog’s history and how, in the short time he’d been with her, he’d already become
protective and seemed to know what she needed, often before she did.

‘He’s awake!’ Keith hopped up again and Suzie and Noel joined him. They stared in wonder as the little boy put his arms around the dog and buried his face in his coat,
giggling. Then Percy stood up and turned towards the door, looking back at Bobby and waiting patiently for the little boy to stand up and follow him.

‘Bloody hell,’ Keith muttered at the happy grin on his son’s face. ‘We’re buying a dog.’

‘You’ve had quite a day,’ Doug said, pouring the wine as Suzie opened the cartons of aromatic Thai food.

‘You could say that. Aw, chicken in green curry, my favourite. You remembered.’

‘Extra spicy, although I wasn’t sure if that was just something you were into when you were pregnant.’ He grinned.

She laughed. ‘I did have some cravings, right enough, but I love this dish any time.’

He wandered round the room as she set out the plates and cutlery looking at the family photos. ‘This is Jess?’ He held up the photo.

Suzie looked over and smiled. ‘Yes. That was taken at Sharon’s wedding.’

‘She’s stunning. So is your other daughter,’ he added hurriedly. ‘There’s just something special about Jess – it’s hard to pinpoint.’

‘Whatever it is, she must get it from her dad,’ Suzie said with a wry smile. ‘She looks nothing like Sharon or Noel.’

Doug leaned closer to study it. ‘But she has your nose and the same dimple in her chin.’

Suzie smiled. ‘Yeah, that’s all Clarke.’

He moved on to another photo of Suzie with her husband. ‘John?’ he asked.

She nodded.

‘You looked happy.’

‘We were. Well, most of the time.’

Doug crossed to the mantelpiece crammed with family photos. ‘There aren’t any photos of Jess with her dad.’

‘Aren’t there?’ Suzie pretended surprise.

Doug glanced at her, his eyebrows raised. ‘You know there aren’t.’

‘Come and eat before the food goes cold.’

He joined her on the sofa. ‘Hasn’t she ever asked questions? She must have noticed that she looks nothing like John or her brother and sister.’

‘If she has suspicions she’s never mentioned them to me,’ Suzie said, curtly.

‘But don’t you think it would help to tell her? Then she would understand John’s feelings towards her.’

‘We’ve been through this, Doug,’ Suzie said, rapidly losing patience with him.

‘Maybe she’d like to track down her real dad,’ Doug continued, not at all deterred by her clipped reply.

‘And how in hell could she do that? Put an ad in the Spanish newspapers saying, “If you fucked a drunken, blonde punk in Dublin, June 1988, you could be my dad”?’

Doug smiled. ‘I’m sure it could be worded a little better than that. What was his name?’

‘No idea,’ Suzie admitted. ‘He was gorgeous and, yeah, apart from the colour of her eyes, Jess is the spitting image of him. But trying to find him would be like looking for a
needle in a haystack. Anyway, I’m sure he’s married with his own kids. The last thing he’d want is a skeleton like this coming out of the cupboard.’

‘If that was the case he wouldn’t come forward, would he? I’d be chuffed if I found out I was a dad, especially of someone as wonderful as Jess,’ he said, sounding
wistful.

Suzie sighed. It was hard to stay mad at the man. ‘You haven’t met her since she was three.’

‘So? She was a great kid then and I’ve no doubt she’s turned into a wonderful young woman. Smart, too.’

‘Not always.’ Susie scowled as thoughts of Louis Healy came to mind. ‘She hasn’t dated a decent guy yet, and as for her latest . . .’ Suzie shook her head in
disgust.

Doug stopped eating and took a sip of his drink. ‘An unfaithful lying bastard like me, eh?’

Suzie looked at him, curious now. There had been so much speculation about her boss and what he got up to. She’d always wondered how much was truth and how much was fiction. ‘Why did
you do it, Doug?’

‘What?’

‘Why did you cheat on Pamela?’ She wondered, had Pamela suspected him of being unfaithful and, if so, had it bothered her? Back in her early days at CML, Suzie had thought that
Pamela was a frigid woman, interested only in material things. But, after Jess was born, she discovered that Pam was as vulnerable as the rest of them.

Doug sighed and pushed away his food. ‘Pamela wasn’t demonstrative because she never learned how to be. She had a rather strange upbringing. Her parents were decent people but
detached. The first real love Pamela experienced was mine and she didn’t know what to do with it. Any public display of affection embarrassed her and made her uncomfortable. I thought
I’d break that down in time but the more that I tried, the further she retreated. Finally I stopped and played around a little, just flirting. I thought if I made her jealous it would provoke
a reaction.’

‘But it didn’t?’

He shrugged. ‘Pamela just ignored it and carried on as normal. I assumed that meant she didn’t care, and I got harder and’ – he sighed – ‘crueller.’

‘You didn’t know that she wanted children, Doug,’ she consoled him.

He looked at her, his eyes full of guilt. ‘I did, Suzie, but I kept saying no. The last time she brought it up, she was in her mid-thirties. It was almost a throwaway remark, something
like, “Are you sure you don’t want a family, because the clock is ticking?” And I said no and . . .’ She saw him struggle with his feelings. ‘She was
sterilised.’

Suzie stared at him, shocked. ‘What?’

‘Apparently, she had some gynaecological problems and her doctor advised that, if she didn’t want children, she’d be better off without her womb.’

‘I didn’t know.’

‘Neither did I, but it all came out the day Jess was born. I remember thinking it odd when she told me she was going on holiday with a couple of girlfriends. She’d never done that
before and she wasn’t close to any of the women she knew. It turns out she was in a private clinic in Dublin. She was torn apart with remorse afterwards. That’s when her problems really
started.’

‘The bulimia?’ Suzie said, remembering noticing Pamela’s strange eating habits.

He met her eyes and nodded. ‘All my fault.’

Suzie pressed her lips together. She felt angry with him and pitied Pamela. The poor woman must have been devastated and she’d suffered through it all alone. Suzie was beginning to regret
pushing him to talk. She felt like tearing into him, but what good would that do now? Anyway, in the end, the couple had resolved their differences and he’d been the perfect husband.

‘Why didn’t you want kids?’ she asked instead.

‘Honestly? I never fancied the hassle and, selfishly, I hated the thought of Pamela’s body being taken over like that. When I got to know you and lived through the pregnancy with
you, and then Jess came along, it changed everything. But it was too late.’ He gave a wistful smile. ‘So Pam and I concentrated on Jess instead.’

Suzie swallowed the lump in her throat and her anger disappeared, leaving her feeling sad. Poor Pam. Suzie vowed to be nicer to her kids and to Bobby. Her family meant the world to her and she
couldn’t imagine a life without them.

‘You know, you could still tell Jess,’ Doug said. ‘I got a lot wrong and I’ve much to be ashamed of. But you, Suzie? What did you do except get carried away one night
when you were happy, carefree and a little drunk? Do you honestly think anyone would condemn you for that, least of all your daughter?’

Suzie shook her head.

‘Like I said,’ he said with a kind smile, ‘it’s never too late. If I hadn’t come to my senses that day and confronted Pamela, I’d never have had those last
wonderful years with her.’

Suzie looked at him, shaking her head. Was he for real? Just when he and Pam had sorted out their differences, the poor woman had been diagnosed with liver cancer. Those last
‘wonderful’ years had been peppered with visits to doctors and consultants, time in hospital and the pain of watching a beautiful woman turn into a frail skeleton.

‘What?’ He raised his eyebrows.

‘You could hardly call it a wonderful time, Doug.’

He thought for a moment and sighed. ‘Perhaps not, but at least we were finally close and able to truly support each other. And, believe me, she supported me just as much as I supported
her.’

Suzie absorbed this. Had she ever had that with John? She’d thought so to begin with but, when she looked back, she remembered the guilt she’d felt at almost apologising for her
daughter’s existence.

It wasn’t that she was ashamed of Jess. Suzie had just been embarrassed about being an unmarried mother. Still, she didn’t think Jess had ever been aware of John’s indifference
or felt left out. Suzie had more than made up for it, almost neglecting the other two when they were babies in her efforts to make sure that Jess didn’t feel threatened by the new additions
to their family.

‘I think it would bring you and Jess closer if you told her the truth. Think about it.’

Suzie shook her head. ‘Shut up and eat.’

Realising it was probably a little early for visiting, Jess let herself into her mother’s house as quietly as possible and crept into the kitchen. Noel had called an hour
ago to say that he’d crashed at Cal’s last night and had to go straight into work. Mum, it seemed, had had a long and stressful day yesterday and he asked her to stop by and let Percy
out so that Mum could sleep in and get some rest before picking up Bobby.

Considering how Jess felt about dogs, she wasn’t impressed but, having heard about the previous day’s scare, she figured her mum could probably do with the rest. Noel assured her
that Percy was a pussycat and rang off, laughing at his own amazing wit. Halfwit more like, she thought, with a reluctant smile.

Jess stood at the door into the utility area, trying to work up the courage to go in. The dog gave a soft whine as if encouraging her, but she still couldn’t bring herself to open the
door. She had never so much as touched a dog since being attacked but it was hard to ignore Percy’s whimpers. She could just fling open the back door and retreat into the safety of the
kitchen, couldn’t she? For her mother?

Her heart thumping in her chest, Jess pushed open the door. The large, golden dog lifted his head and wagged his tail at the sight of her but made no move to get up. She looked over at the back
door, wondering if she could stretch far enough to open it without actually going into the room, but chances were she’d fall in on top of the animal. Taking a few deep breaths, she sidled
along the wall, never taking her eyes off him, and, having flung the door open, ran back into the kitchen. Seconds later she heard him pad outside and watched from the kitchen window as he did his
business. She hurried in to refill his water bowl before he got back. He’d just have to wait to eat until her mother surfaced. She returned to her post by the window and watched the dog amble
round the garden before returning inside. Jess stood in the kitchen doorway as he lay back down in his bed and looked up at her, wagging his tail again. ‘Okay, so maybe you’re not so
bad,’ she muttered.

Jess wandered into the lounge and did a double-take at the mess. The remains of last night’s dinner and an empty wine bottle and two glasses stood on the coffee table. Lover-boy must have
dropped by, she mused as she started to gather up the dirty dishes. This thing between Mum and Douglas seemed to be getting serious. She looked forward to meeting the man who’d put a smile on
her mother’s face and a pep in her step. Jess froze as a floorboard creaked overhead. She looked up, wondering if he’d stayed over. That would be seriously embarrassing. She needed to
get out of here.