Secret (45 page)
I’m going to plagiarize Dan Savage here, but it gets better. I promise you, it gets better. Middle school and high school are full of your peers — but they can also be the most isolating years of your life. You’re not alone. I promise. There are many amazing people you have yet to meet, and they will change your life in the most amazing and unexpected ways. I don’t ever want a child or young adult or anyone to feel that no one cares, or that ending his or her life is easier than continuing to live it. Life is worth waiting for. Trust me. Even though it might not feel like it right now, the world is a huge place, and it’s waiting for you. You’re so important. Life gets better — a lot better.
If you’re distressed, if you’re in trouble, if you just need someone to talk to, here are some resources.
Australia
It Gets Better Australia
http://www.itgetsbetter.org.au/
Kids Helpline
•
24/7 free confidential support: 1800 55 1800
•
Free, private and confidential telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged between 5 and 25.
Lifeline
•
24/7 free confidential support: 13 11 14
New Zealand
Youthline
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Phone: 0800 37 66 33
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Email: [email protected]
Healthline
•
24/7 free confidential support: 0800 611 116
Secret
Playlist
‘DEMONS’
by Imagine Dragons
While I had many songs that fired up my imagination for Adam and Quinn’s dance routine, this one seems to have stuck in my head. It’s so perfect for all the relationships explored in the book.
‘HEY PRETTY GIRL’
by Kip Moore
The first time I heard this song on the radio, I took a snapshot of my XM display so I could remember to buy it on iTunes. I knew it was going to be in this playlist, right from the first listen. Rough, raspy, sexy voice? Swoon-worthy lyrics? I mean, come on. This is the song I imagine Tyler playing for Quinn on his porch, the first night they spend together.
‘SAME LOVE’
by Macklemore, featuring Ryan Lewis
Many, many people suggested that I listen to this song when they found out what I was writing about. I loved it from the first listen. What a fantastic message. What a fantastic melody. I love every word.
‘COUGH SYRUP’
by Young The Giant
This song is simply . . . amazing. If you’re a Glee fan, it’s the song that Blaine sings while Karofsky is contemplating suicide after he’s unfortunately outed at school. It’s a powerful song, and I listened to it on repeat a dozen times while writing some of the more intense scenes with Nick and Adam.
‘GET YOUR SHINE ON’
by Florida Georgia Line
How can anyone not like this song? It’s so summertime-goodfeeling. ‘Slide that little sugar-shaker over here . . .’ Totally reminds me of Tyler and Quinn.
‘FOLLOW YOUR ARROW’
by Kacey Musgraves
This song is all about being who you are and not letting other people’s expectations draw your life map. I should have had Adam play it on repeat for Nick.
‘#THATPOWER’
by Will.i.am, featuring Justin Bieber
This song really doesn’t have much to do with the book. I just listened to it about three bazillion times while writing. There were many times I wanted to get up and start dancing at Starbucks, just listening to this song.
‘BRUISES’
by Train, featuring Ashley Monroe
I loved this song the first time I heard it. When Adam is teaching dance class, this is the song I imagine him using.
‘BRAVE’
By Sara Bareilles
If you haven’t heard this song, you need to go listen to it immediately. Go on. I’ll wait. It’s all about standing up to bullying, and it’s amazing.
‘STUBBORN LOVE’
by The Lumineers
This song completely reminds me of Tyler and Quinn. You need to listen to understand.
‘ALL THIS TIME’
by Onerepublic
I actually first heard this song on a YouTube video for a girl who owned a horse that everyone said was a complete waste of time, but she ended up training him and riding him all the way through to her B rating in Pony Club. (That’s a big deal. Really.) It’s a moving song that really makes me think of Nick and Adam, first, but also of Nick’s relationship with Gabriel.
If you’ve read my books for any length of time, you know I always thank my mother first. This time is no different. She’s my constant inspiration. You wouldn’t be holding this book in your hands if not for her support and influence in my life. Thank you, Mom, for everything.
My husband, Michael, is my sounding board, my confidant, and my best friend. I can’t imagine spending a day without him. (Unfortunately, he spends many days without me, while I’m eating cake pops with the Starbucks baristas, *ahem* I mean, when I’m writing.) Thank you, honey, for always being there. And for suggesting Adam’s name. And for supporting me even when you weren’t sure about the topic of this book. It means so, so much. I hope you know that.
I have a close circle of critique partners. Bobbie Goettler and Alison Kemper Beard, you’ve been with me every step of the way, and I can’t thank you enough for your guidance, support, and friendship. I seriously could not do this without you guys. Could. Not.
My fearless agent, Mandy Hubbard, is beyond compare. Thank you for your support in this book and in my career. And thanks for not minding when I fling the F word into our e-mail correspondence. My editor at Kensington, Alicia Condon, is amazing to work with, and she had no idea that Nick Merrick was interested in boys until I sent her Breathless, Nick’s novella. It was a risk, and I’m lucky she and Mandy have supported me every step of the way.
Eternal gratitude to the wonderful people at Kensington Books who work so hard to make my book a success, especially Vida Engstrand, Alex Nicolajsen, and Mel Saccone. Many, many thanks to the fine people at Allen & Unwin, my publisher in Australia, especially Eva Mills, Jodie Webster and Lara Wallace. I’m so lucky and excited to work with all of you.
This book took a lot of research, in many forms. I am deeply indebted to Danny Rome, Jason Deem, Jim Hilderbrandt, H. Duncan Moseley III, Tradd Sanderson, and Wes Parker for sharing their life experiences and helping me to build wellrounded characters. Many thanks to Jim Kalinosky of the Baltimore County Police Department for being a continued resource about the world of law enforcement. Huge thanks to the brilliant Jonah Kanner for teaching me more than I ever thought I wanted to know about air pressure and physics. Many thanks to Sebastian Serra of the Orlando Ballet and Dena Stoll for their insight into the world of dance. Finally, special thanks and big hugs to my sister-in-law, Tina Kasten, and her talented daughters, Jenna and Lexi, for letting me shadow them at dance competitions and workshops so I could get an insider’s view. If I got anything wrong, it’s entirely my fault.
If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a community to write a book. Many, many people read early drafts or offered thoughts and insights or just kept me going while this book was in process. Extra special thanks to Jim Hilderbrandt, Sarah Gonder, Brenda Freeman, Joy Hensley George, Nicole Kalinosky, Becky Hutchinson, David James, and Erin Kanner. Additional thanks to Wendy Darling of The Midnight Garden and the many fine bloggers who participated in the Spirit Blog Tour in April. You guys are amazing.
This might sound ridiculous, but I owe many thanks to the fine people of Starbucks in Severna Park, Maryland. You put up with me for twelve-hour writing sprints, even though you have no idea who I am or what I’m doing there. Keep those cake pops coming.
Finally, the biggest thanks go to you guys, my readers. You all make this possible, and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it. Thank you. For everything. I’ll try to sneak more pics of hot guys at Starbucks, ’kay?
Brigid Kemmerer hails from Pasadena, Maryland, where she works in the finance industry.
SECRET: ELEMENTALS
4 is her fourth novel. You can visit her at
www.brigidkemmerer.com
.