Secret Obsession (11 page)

"Calm down, little girl. I know for a fact that your father probably doesn't know that you’re banging your stepbrother, and I know you don't want him to find out. So you might want to try being nicer to me."

"Go straight to hell, Doug."

She snatched up her purse and stormed out of the office. Her father was already in his truck waiting on her in front of their little office building. He watched her closely as she approached the vehicle and got in.

"What was that about?"

"Sorry, dad, but Doug is an idiot. I don't vibe with him."

"So I see. What was he talking about when I walked out? Does he know Finn?"

She sighed. "It's a small town. Doesn't everyone know everyone?"

"When did he see you and Finn together?"

Raven felt like screaming with anxiety and frustration.

"Probably when you told me to try and befriend him. Remember we hung out that weekend?"

"Oh. Right."

That wasn't good. That was his answer when he was tabling an issue for another time. Raven spent the entire ride trying to figure out how to cover her tracks if need be. As much as she hated lying to her father, she didn't want him finding out what she had been up to all summer. Not that way. He didn't say another word until they arrived at the dinner and were seated. Then he didn't waste a second getting to the point.

"Have you decided what you want to do about school?"

"I have been trying to decide if I want to go back up north or enroll at the University of Austin. I've grown to like Dusty Springs and the ranch. Plus, I'd get to see you more often."

"And? What did you decide?"

She took a sip of her water in an attempt to tamp down her tattered emotions. She was terrified at the direction their conversation might take.

"Um, I haven't yet."

Harry frowned.

"Raven. It's the end of summer. Don't you think you've had enough time? I don't care where you chose, but you're going back to school. Working in my office was a temporary thing, and there's no reason for you to be hanging out at the ranch with nothing to do. Is there?"

The 'is there' was very suggestive, not harsh, but Raven saw the warning in her father's eyes.

"No sir. There isn't."

"Good. I know you're smarter than that."

By some stroke of luck, their waitress approached at that moment to serve them water and take their order. All Raven had to do was smile as her father ordered their usual, but all she wanted to do was burst into tears.
 

After their food arrived they ate and chatted like normal. Raven tried her best to act like she was okay, maybe a little distracted with the school situation. Between her father and the incident with Doug, she knew this town was too small for her secret. Finn had been right. They would be exposed. That was something she wasn’t prepared to deal with.

So when her father offered his suggestion and help in a certain direction, she was all ears. The last thing she wanted to do was disappoint him. She would go to school in Austin. She’d be gone, but still close enough for him to visit her. She felt better about her school situation, but how was she going to explain things to Finn?

Finn
had never been happier to be home. He hated hospitals, ever since his father passed away, and his aunt's condition wasn't improving. His mother decided to stay a few more days and Harry agreed to pick her up over the weekend. So he jumped in his truck and hauled ass back to Dusty Springs.

Back to Raven.

He missed her something awful. It was during his long drive home that he decided what they needed to do. He felt like an ass for not suggesting it when they first admitted that it was more than sex between them.

The house was empty when he arrived home at 6:00pm.  He parked his truck on the side of the house closest to the back door. It wasn't unusual for Harry to stay at work some nights until 8:00. That came with being the owner of a business. There were some nights that Finn didn't get in until 9:00pm on a trying day. The quiet hit him like a ton of bricks when he walked inside. He was used to his mother always being in the kitchen and fussing over dinner.

He went directly to his side of the house. It was just as dark and quiet and he smiled. Raven loved to take naps at the most random times. Since they had the house to themselves for a little while, he wanted to get in a quickie. The door to her room was ajar which was her sign that he should come in and say hi.

Not only was it quiet, but it was also empty. The room was void of all her girly accessories and personal effects from school. It looked as it had they day before she moved in. Finn walked further inside and turned around in a full circle. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. She didn't answer his call when he tried to contact her.

"What the hell is going on?"

He didn't care that he was talking to himself, or that no one was there to answer him. He did care to know why Raven wasn't there, and why she was gone with out a word. The thought that she would leave him without saying goodbye was stabbing him in the gut like a serrated sword. Each time he thought it, he felt himself die a little more inside.  He would never have expected that from her.

But the fact was that she was gone. And she hadn't said goodbye.

After walking the room in a semi daze, he couldn't stand to be in there anymore. He walked through the bathroom and into his bedroom, half-heartedly hoping she was waiting for him there. That he had been an ass for thinking she wouldn’t leave him.

His room was just as empty. He looked out his window to confirm that the little red Mazda was not parked in its usual spot. He called her again, and again she didn't pick up.

Finn hadn't cried since his father's burial.  There had been plenty of rough moments over the years that followed. Times where he missed his dad so bad he couldn't breathe. Nights when his mother cried herself to sleep over their loss. Times he was so angry for loosing someone he loved so much so soon.

The moment he realized Raven was gone rivaled all those moments. He refused to cry, but he felt like his legs wouldn't hold him up much longer. Everything suddenly felt wrong. The hat on his head itched. His boots felt too tight. His clothes felt like they were constricting around him. Flashes of memories began to assault him. A glimpse of her smile. The way she hugged him after a long day. Her goofy giggles that she tried to stifle. Her smell. Her kiss.

Finn squeezed his eyes shut. All his clothes were ripped off as he headed for the shower. A cold shower was all he could bring himself to do. He needed something to jolt his system because he was becoming numb with anger and rage. How could she do this to him? He knew things could go wrong, terribly wrong for them. But he never expected that one day she would just not be there. No warning, no nothing.

No. He wouldn’t accept it. He couldn’t accept it.

In the bathroom, he turned on the light and opened the sliding door to the shower and turned on the cold faucet. He opened the towel drawer and sitting on top of a folded stack was a note. The only words he read before he crumpled the paper and threw it in the trash were:

Dear Finn,

I'm sorry.

Epilogue

Endings

Three years later.

Finn
looked at his watch. It was finally 7:00pm and his last student was being picked up for the day. Usually most of the kids in his after school program were gone by 6:00pm, but sometimes a parent couldn't get there on time and had to push pick-up until closing time at 8:00pm.

He didn't mind spending extra time with one of his favorites. Malcolm was nine and reminded Finn a lot of himself. He was inquisitive and full of life, but took art very seriously where the other kids just wanted to have a fun time and paint cool stuff to give their parents. This kid was interested in specific artists, different genres of art, and wanted to learn as many techniques as Finn could fit in a session so that he could practice at home.

Another similarity was that he had recently lost his father. Finn may have been much older when he went through that experience, but he recognized a kindred spirit when he met one. He wanted to help Malcolm in anyway that he could.

Over the years, Finn had learned how to channel his feelings of anger, frustration and despair. There had been many reasons for him to do so. Some hurt more than others. Some were harder to forget, but at the end of the day he had to learn to let things be. Learn which battles to fight, and which ones to let go. One of the hardest had been confronting Harry about his feelings for Raven. When Finn read her letter, after digging it out of the trash, she explained her reason for leaving the way she did. Raven was too afraid of upsetting her father to tell him the truth. She wanted to be with Finn, but not at the risk of causing conflict for their parents. Finn knew he had to set things right. He wasn’t prepared to let her go. He went straight to Harry, and sat him down for a man-to-man talk. It hadn’t gone well, not at first, but in the end 

Finn walked around the room to clean up and put all the utensils in their proper places. One of the rules of his class was to keep neat and put things where they belong. There was a bin for soiled paintbrushes. The paints were stored in color-coordinated cubbies, and there was a big hamper for used smocks. His kids were good about cleaning up, for the most part.

This was his favorite part of the day. When he could decompress and reflect on the high points of the day, and get prepared for the next day. However, he didn't dwell on cleanup since it was already so late.

Besides, he had a hot date.

After locking up his classroom, Finn strolled through the halls of the Kids United Rec center.  After he moved to Austin, he had gotten himself certified to open up his own afterschool program. He was surprised at how much the program had grown in such a short amount of time.

"Hi Mr. Huckleberry!"

Finn turned towards the tiny little voice, waving at a little girl walking with her now embarrassed mother.

"Jessica! That isn't nice."

Finn smiled.

"Don't worry, ma’am. It's an inside joke."

Finn was used to the joke at that point.

He continued towards the exit near the gymnasium. It wasn't unusual for the athletic classes to run late. Those kids hardly ever wanted to leave.

As he walked he could hear the sounds of music and basketballs bouncing streaming from the gym. He checked the time. It was almost quarter to eight. Time to wrap things up.

He pushed the colorful double doors open and couldn't help but smile. On the opposite end of the gym from the basketball tykes, were the petite ballerinas. Ages 3-10 practiced routines in two groups. Big girls and
Wittle
ladies. They were adorable in their tights and tutus.

"Hey Huck!"

Finn looked up in time to catch a pass from Ed, the basketball coach. On days like this they would normally shoot around as they waited for the late-goers to be picked up.

"You up for a game?"

"Not tonight Ed. I've got plans."

"Have I ever told you what a lucky son-of-a-gun you are?"

"Almost everyday," Finn said with a huge grin. He tossed Ed the ball as he marched over to the ballerinas.

Shouts of
Mr. Finn
filled the air as they saw him approach. One by one they ran up, or totted up to give him high fives. He had to admit; it felt good to be so well known. Even if it was only by little people.

Then he laid eyes on his favorite person. Every time he saw her felt like the first time. He walked up to the dance teacher and gave her a high five.

"Hello Mr. Walters. How was your day?"

"I feel like your turning me into a stalker."

"You've been a stalker since I met you." She gave him a knowing smile. Dark eyes twinkling.