Secret of a Thousand Beauties (18 page)

Who else could this older woman with a mysterious past be but Aunty Peony? Were her trips to Peking really for trysts with Soaring Crane?

Maybe Little Doll had seen something without knowing what it meant, so I called her over, and asked, “Little Doll, what did Aunty Peony and you do when you two were in Peking?”

Her answer surprised me: “Shopping and watching Peking opera.”

“You like it?”

She nodded. “Aunty explained all the stories to me.”

“What operas did you see?”

“Many.
Farewell My Concubine, The Empty City Strategy, Peony Pavilion,
and . . . I don’t remember.”

“Do you remember the actor’s name?”

“Aunty really likes the one called Soaring Crane.”

Soaring Crane. So I was right. Aunty
was
the mysterious embroiderer mentioned in the same paper. In spite of all her talk of chastity, my teacher had a lover, just like the rest of us. But an opera singer was a big step down for the woman who’d been loved by an emperor!

“Little Doll, what does this Soaring Crane look like?”

She thought for a while. “Long face, single-lidded eyes, and a knobby nose.”

Her description seemed to fit with the man on the embroidery in Aunty’s room.

“How old do you think this Soaring Crane is?”

“Old, but younger than Aunty Peony.”

“That means how old?” I was a little annoyed at Little Doll’s vague answer.

“I really couldn’t tell. But, Sister Spring Swallow, why are you so interested in this crane?”

“No reason, Little Doll. Just forget about it.”

 

My teacher, after returning from her mysterious trip to Soochow, continued to seem troubled. I was puzzled by this. Since she now had fame and wealth after winning the contest, why should she be depressed? When she embroidered, her hands seemed to have lost their magic. They moved stiffly and her stitches were less sure.

Also, since
Along the River
had won the best embroidery contest, Heavenly Phoenix should be flooding us with commissions and we should be very busy by now. But, on the contrary, she never mentioned any new work.

Once during dinner I asked her about this, and she replied, “Don’t worry. There’s a lot of work waiting to be done, but I decided to take a long break after we worked so hard on
Along the River.
”

Of course she didn’t really need the money now, but she also didn’t know that I knew.

I was suddenly tired of keeping up a façade. “But, of course, Aunty, you’re rich now because
Along the River
won the first prize of one thousand dollars at the Peking International Art and Craft Fair!”

She looked stunned, but then quickly regained her calm. “What do you mean? I don’t know what you’re talking about. I told you that it didn’t win.”

“I read the newspaper you brought back from Peking.”

“So?”

“You’re Lilac Chen, aren’t you?”

Finally, she said, “Yes,
Along the River
did win the first prize.”

Little Doll turned to me and clapped. “Congratulations, Sister Spring Swallow!”

She cast Little Doll a sharp glance. “It’s my embroidery, not your sister’s.”

This was too much for me. I was not going to hold in my anger any longer. “What do you mean it’s yours, Aunty Peony? I stayed up and worked nonstop for five months and my hands still hurt—”

She cut me off sharply. “It’s my work, my honor, and my grand prize. Period.”

This time I was not going to back down. “Aunty, you didn’t do it, I did. It’s my embroidery!”

“Your embroidery? Your embroidery! I taught you everything you know. I corrected and re-corrected all your mistakes. If I hadn’t put down the first and last stitch, you couldn’t even begin to work or finish it. If I hadn’t taken you in, fed you, accepted you as my student . . . you’d still be a ghost’s wife whom people would avoid like a leper.”

She paused to inhale sharply, then, “And now you want to take the credit from me, you ungrateful brat?”

After that, she stomped upstairs and closed the door so hard the whole house shook. Maybe what she said had some truth in it—but I
did
do
Along the River
and she had cut me out completely!

Aunty and I didn’t talk to each other for days. Though my mouth was at rest, my hands began to get busy again with some minor embroideries that were waiting to be completed. If I wanted to continue to live here, I had to embroider to bring in money. I was thinking again of running away. I desperately wanted to join my husband, Shen Feng, but he had never sent a letter and I didn’t know his family, so there was no one to ask. Though I missed him very much, I decided to try to put him out of my mind. His silence had turned sweet memories into painful ones. Now I couldn’t bear to look at, let alone touch, the flute he’d given me as a token of our love. It was underneath my bed, probably feeling my weight every night.

I often thought that maybe I should have listened to Purple and run away with her. But it was too late now. Even so, I wondered, would I ever meet my big sister again in this life? On this Red Dust?

 

One evening after Little Doll had gone to bed, Aunty Peony said to me, “Tomorrow I want to be left alone in the house to rest and think of our future. So I want you to take Little Doll out; you can go to the village or even Soochow.”

I found this a strange offer. “Aunty, why . . .”

“I want to be quiet so I can think. I can’t stand Little Doll’s constant babbling and giggling. Just do me a favor and take her to the city, won’t you?” She took some money from her pouch and handed it to me. “This should be enough for a day’s trip.”

PART THREE

19

T
he following day, I had no intention to take Little Doll with me to Soochow, because whatever was on Aunty’s mind, it wouldn’t be anything good. I feared she might be contemplating suicide again. This seemed less likely now, however, because she had the money from the contest and a lover, even though he had just gotten a devastating review and was up to his ears in debt. I was still worried, though. I didn’t want our little group to dwindle away completely. Even though she had cheated me out of the credit and money that was rightfully mine from
Along the River,
she had been my teacher and I certainly did not want her to take her own life. But I had no idea what to do about it.

Little Doll and I woke up at six, ate breakfast, then said good-bye to Aunty.

Our teacher’s face was pale and she looked worried. “Have fun and come back for dinner.”

After we left the house, I told Little Doll that we’d first go to the mountain to pay respect to Leilei, then pick wildflowers to wear on our heads before heading to the city. After rushing through our little ritual for Leilei, I told my little sister that we had to go back to the house.

She stamped her feet. “But Aunty said we can go to have fun in the city!”

I smiled and cooed to her crestfallen face. “It’s a long trip and I forgot to bring snacks and drinks—”

She didn’t take my bait. “But we can get food and drink in Soochow!”

“Sorry, Little Doll. I also forgot the amulet Aunty gave me to protect us. You don’t want us to have an accident like Sister Leilei, do you?”

My trick of offering snacks did not work, but the threat did, so Little Doll followed me home dejectedly.

But Aunty was not to be seen, nor did she answer our calls.

Little Doll started to cry, asking, “Where’s Aunty?”

I was wondering that, too, but I needed to look around without my little sister watching me. I told her to go outside to pick flowers to give Aunty when she came back. As soon as she was out the door, I hurried upstairs to Aunty’s room but was surprised to find the door hanging open. This alarmed me, as she had never left it open before, even for a few moments. I looked around to find the room in disorder and the portrait that had always been on her desk missing. I was even more astonished to find the door to the secret chamber ajar.

When I stepped inside, yet another surprise awaited me. Everything was gone! The drawings, the embroidery, even the imperial treasures . . . gone.

My teacher had vanished without a trace. But then I saw she had left something for us—a note on the bed. I picked it up and read.

I was so stunned that Aunty would leave us forever that the letter fell from my hand. If she didn’t want to see us, she’d be able to find a place to hide so that we could never find her. I sat on her bed and leaned against her pillow to think. I guessed that if she was not coming back, she’d most likely go to Peking to be with Soaring Crane. So she might still be at the train station right now.

I pushed myself up against the pillow; then it suddenly came to me that this was where the imperial undergarment had been hidden. I snatched up the pillow and pulled off the cover. The gown was still there. In her haste, Aunty had left it behind!

I wondered how Aunty could have forgotten this, the most intimate of her connections to her past lover, the emperor himself. But maybe she now loved Soaring Crane so much that she had no interest in this token of an earlier love. But I knew Aunty better than this. She would not leave something so valuable behind unless, under the stress of the moment, she had simply forgot.

I sighed. I hoped the love between me and Shen Feng was not fleeting like Aunty’s. But with Shen Feng gone so long without a word from him, I found I was thinking of him less. Though not by my choice, my life was going on without him. Thus lamenting, I took the imperial undergarment and walked out of my teacher’s room, for the last time.

Back in my own room, I stuffed the garment inside my own pillow, then went to look for Little Doll. She had fallen asleep in her room with the bunch of flowers next to her on the bed. I quickly wrote a simple note telling her I was out looking for Aunty and would be back soon.

When I arrived at the train station it was crowded with people, some lucky ones sitting and the rest milling around. This made me think the train to Peking had not yet arrived and so Aunty might still be here. Looking for her was not easy, however. The hall was packed with families with boisterous children, lovers saying their tender farewells, businessmen puffing on cigarettes or cigars. Eyes sore from the smoke, I walked around the big hall but didn’t catch sight of Aunty. Suddenly the din of conversation was drowned out by the approach of the locomotive as the crowd rushed toward the platform.

Despite my efforts to reach the exit I was borne toward the tracks by the rushing crowd. Just then, I spotted Aunty—she was on the platform, hanging on to the arm of a thirtyish man. I thought he might be Soaring Crane, but then they were hidden by the puffs of smoke coming from the train engine.

I pushed hard through the crowd until I was only a few feet behind them, hoping to hear what they were saying to each other. But the train station was too noisy for me to hear anything useful, as vendors engaged in a shouting competition.

“Braised pork!”

“Salted duck noodle soup!”

“Sugared plum and fried peanuts!”

Just then, Aunty and the young man climbed up and disappeared into the train. In a moment they would be on their way to Peking. I thought of hurrying up to try to stop her. But if she was determined to leave, she would, no matter what I said. Even if I could lure her back, she could still leave tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, or the day after that. It was the young man who held her interest now, not me and not Little Doll.

In a few minutes the train chugged its way out of the station en route to Peking, and the great hall was quieter. Feeling frustrated that I’d failed to catch up with Aunty, I bought a cup of hot tea, then went to sit on a wooden bench. Next to me sat a young couple intoxicated with each other and in their own world, making me feel lonelier than ever, with Aunty gone and Shen Feng anywhere or nowhere.

I thought the man with Aunty must be Soaring Crane, which meant he had come all the way here to accompany her back to Peking. Either he really loved her or he wanted something very important from her. Did he know about her imperial treasures? For the first time, I realized that Aunty, for all her severity, might be as vulnerable as the rest of us.

While I was mindlessly sipping my tea without tasting it, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I raised my head and saw—Shen Feng!

“Feng, what are you doing here?” I was happy to see him, but startled.

He squeezed down beside me, then took my hand into his. “Spring Swallow, I just came back. But what are you doing here? Are you going away somewhere?”

I studied my husband’s surprised and happy expression, suppressing an urge to kiss him. “Feng, why did you suddenly come back?”

“I’m so sorry to startle you like this. But we revolutionaries are not allowed to write letters. But, anyway, here I am.”

“I’m so glad. . . .”

“Why are you here, Spring Swallow? Did someone tip you off that I was coming?”

He seemed to look worried at this possibility. I was beginning to find it tiresome that everything had to be secret with him.

“I never expected to find you here. But Aunty just decided to run away to Peking and I was trying to catch up with her to see if I could stop her.”

As Shen Feng sat beside me on the hard wooden bench, I told him about all the miserable things that had happened since he had left, and that Aunty’s household was no more. I didn’t say anything about Aunty’s secret chamber and her imperial past. He might be my husband, but actually, I hardly knew him. But studying his manly face I felt love warming my body.

“Feng, what happened? Are you back for good?”

“Just a short time.”

“I am so glad you are here, but I need to go home and see how Little Doll is doing. Why don’t you come with me?”

He sighed, then went on. “I came back to see you, of course, and my ailing mother. But I also have . . . revolutionary business. It is possible that I am being followed. And if you are seen with me, it would put you in danger. So we should not stay here. But know that I love you and also work very hard to build a better future for China.”

He took something out from his pants pocket and stuffed it into my hand. “Here’s some money.”

“But I don’t need your money; Aunty has left us some. Take it back; you may need it more than I do.”

But my husband wouldn’t take no for an answer and that warmed my heart.

He took my hand. “We should go. Let’s meet on our mountain tomorrow morning.”

I nodded, too overcome by this tumultuous day to speak.

Shen Feng led me outside the train station to a corner hidden by trees, then kissed me passionately. I returned his love by kissing him back while holding his strong revolutionary torso tightly against mine. In the distance I could hear another train approaching.

“Until tomorrow,” he said, and disappeared into the crowd.

Back home, I reluctantly broke the bad news of Aunty’s departure to Little Doll. Though I tried my best to comfort her, she could not stop crying. It occurred to me at this moment that she was now entirely my responsibility. What this meant for me I had no idea, but since I still had Aunty’s and Shen Feng’s money, we wouldn’t be starving for a while.

That night my body thrashed like a fish inside a dry bucket. My husband had come back, but he couldn’t even spend one night with me. This secret revolutionary—and extremely dangerous—business must be very important that he’d leave his newly wed wife for it. I shuddered, then finally fell asleep.

The next morning when I saw Shen Feng on the mountaintop, I had the feeling that our meeting was but a dream. As soon as he caught sight of me, he kissed me on my lips, then led the way into our secret cave.

He took out a blanket, spread it on the ground, and we both lay down. Face-to-face, he cupped my face with his large hands and studied me like a mother her newborn baby.

“Spring Swallow, we have so little chance to see each other and I miss you so much.”

“I miss you, too, Feng.”

Gently, but eagerly, my husband unbuttoned my top, lifted it off my shoulders, then slid down my pants. He studied my body and gently ran his hands down my sides to my feet. Then he began to unbutton his shirt. Suddenly I felt shy and turned away so as to hide my blushing face. When I saw that all his clothes were in a pile on the floor, I tried to cover my face. But then I felt his hands on my wrists, pulling my hands away and kissing me. Somehow we found ourselves lying on the blanket. Then I felt his hands on my cheeks, my neck, my breasts....

I felt I should stop this dangerously joyful act, but it was like trying to stop a starving tiger from devouring a lamb....

Shen Feng was as passionate a lover as he was a revolutionary. His lips and hands were like beggars, always wanting more, unwilling to give up. When he finally entered me, I let out an animal cry loud enough to shake the mountain and maybe awaken its dwellers, living and dead.

That evening I could not help but relive our lovemaking over and over, despite my efforts to concentrate on my embroidering. Fortunately, Aunty was gone or she would have realized that my mind was not on my work and demanded to know why. In my narrow bed I squirmed restlessly, anticipating meeting Shen Feng again in the morning. I knew he would soon leave again for the revolution that was my rival.

Early the next morning I eagerly climbed to the top of the mountain to join Shen Feng again, but all that awaited me was his scribbled letter: