Secrets (16 page)

has other people with her, that’s it, I’m done,
he thought.
But if she’s alone… if she’s alone, I’ll go in and talk to her. I

don’t know what I’ll say, but I’ll talk to her. At least for the five seconds it takes her to call me a lowlife and get

security to escort me out.

Slow as he was driving, Anthony eventually made it to the hospital. He parked as far away from the entrance as he
could to buy himself a few more minutes.
Weenie,
he thought. He climbed out of the car,gave the door another slam,
and headed into the hospital. He spotted a pay phone when he got to the row of elevators.

All right, Rae, let ’s see what’s so important, you took off without even bothering to call me.
Had to get in some mall
time, probably. Yana was always dragging Rae off to the mall. Not that he heard Rae complaining all that much.

Anthony fished a quarter out of the front pocket of his jeans and dialed Rae’s cell phone number. The voice mail
picked up.

“Rae. It’s Anthony,” he said. “We had plans today, remember? I went to your house, and you, as you know, weren’t
there. It’s-” He glanced at his watch. “It’s two-fifteen if you want to meet me.” He hung up without bothering to say
good-bye.
She’s not coming,
he thought.
No way is she coming. If she was coming, she’d have been at home

waiting like she was supposed to be.
He walked over to the closest elevator and jabbed the up button so hard, a jolt
of pain went through his finger.

Yeah, Fascinelli, mess up your hand, you moron,
he thought.
If you stop being able to throw and catch, you’ll be

out of that school in one game. And maybe that wouldn’t even be so bad. Maybe Jackie was right.

All right. Enough. This isn’t about you,
he told himself.
It’s about a girl who tried to off herself.
Theelevator doors
opened, and a couple of tired-looking people stepped off. Anthony got on and gently pressed the button for the
fourth floor. When the elevator reached the floor, he made his way to Jackie’s room on autopilot, his mind busy
replaying all the crap Jackie’d said last time they were together.

Girl. Almost offed self. The rest of it doesn ’t mat ter,
Anthony thought as he hesitated outside her door. He didn’t
hear any guest kind of sounds-no talking, no laughing, no crying or little sympathy noises. So it was on him.

Anthony pulled in a breath and stepped inside. Jackie was propped up against a bunch of pillows-conscious, at
least-but still looking half dead.

“Hey,” Anthony said. He knew there should be something better to say. But whatever it was, it wasn’t anywhere in
his brain.

Jackie smiled, a small trembly-edged smile.
Don’t let her start bawling,
Anthony silently begged.

“Hi,” she said, meeting his gaze and then quickly glancing away. “I can’t believe you’re here,” she said, talking
more to her bedspread than to him.

Anthony sat down in the chair next to her bed. “Yeah, well, I wanted to see how you were.”

“Sorry I said all those things to you,” Jackie told him, meeting his eyes again. “I didn’t really mean them. I was
just…” Her words trailed off.

“Embarrassed?” Anthony suggested.

“Yeah, mostly,” Jackie admitted. “So, um, how’s school?”

“It’s Saturday,” Anthony reminded her. “Not much school happening since… you know.” He propped his foot on
his knee, hoping to get more comfortable. It didn’t help. “You want me to get you a soda or candy or something?”

I’m such an idiot,
he thought.
I should have brought her something. You always bring someone in the hospital

something.

“No, I’m okay,” Jackie told him, switching back to talking down to her blanket.

“Should have brought you something, sorry,” Anthony muttered.

“It’s fine. Like I need another stuffed animal.” Jackie picked up a little stuffed mouse from the nightstand and
tossed it at him. “Everyone comes in for a second, hurls an animal or flowers or whatever at me, and then runs. Like
I’m contagious. I’d rather have someone to, you know, talk to.”

Anthony was hit with the weird sensation that Jackie was like a split personality or something-there was party girl
Jackie, who kissed him until he could hardly stand up; bitch Jackie, who made him feel like crawling off and dying
in the stairwell; and now… Anthony didn’t know what to call this Jackie.

“What?” Jackie asked, raising one eyebrow.

“Nothing,” he answered. “So, why’d you do it?” he blurted out. He hadn’t been planning to say it like that. He
thought he’d kind of ease into it somehow. But now-thud-it was out there.

“What is it with you?” Jackie snapped. “Is it some new fetish? You play the big hero guy-‘I’ll take those car keys,
miss, you’re in no shape to be driving and might injure yourself-then go home and jack off?”

Anthony laughed. And it wasn’t at all faked. “I’m not leaving until you tell me,” he said, making himself more
comfortable in the chair. “So, is it a guy?”

“Now I get it,” Jackie said. She gave the pillows behind her a fluff. “We kissed one night and you got all squishy
inside, and now you’re thinking that the only way I couldn’t be all gaga over you is that there’s another guy
somewhere.”

“School?” Anthony tossed out. “You been screwing up? Afraid you’ll have to go to-” He lowered his voice. “A state
college?”

Jackie snorted.
At least she doesn ’t look half dead anymore,
Anthony thought. Her cheeks were flushed, and her
eyes were bright. Because she was pissed off, yeah. But it was still an improvement.

“Stock market?” Anthony suggested. “You having a bad year?”

“What do you know about the stock market?” Jackie asked.

Okay, don’t want to go there,
Anthony thought.
I don’t need the whole you’ll-always-be-the-loser-from-Fillmore

speech again.
Rae had picked up a little from the stuff in the hospital room. But what? When Rae collapsed,
everything else had gone out of his mind.

“Ooh, I’m sorry. Did I touch a nerve?” Jackie asked. “Don’t worry about it. I doubt anyone from Fillmore-”

“Phillip,” Anthony blurted out, his brain starting to regurgitate what Rae had said. “Is it about Phillip?”

Crap. Oh crap,
Anthony thought. Because Jackie’s eyes were filling with tears. A second later her shoulders were
shaking with silent sobs.

Rae gingerly shifted her position on the motel bed, trying to ease her aching muscles. Whoever had tied her up
really knew what they were doing. More than the slightest movement and the ropes-no, they were slicker than that,
maybe cords?-binding her tightened.

Stay calm,
she told herself.
Stay calm or you won ’t be ready to-what? Won’t be ready to be completely helpless

when whoever’s holding you prisoner comes back?
Rae’s heart started to slam furiously against her rib cage. She
tried to pull in a deep breath but couldn’t. Her wrist bindings had been tied to her ankle bindings with a short piece
of the cord or whatever, so she had to sit hunched over. All she could manage was harsh pants. They came faster
and faster until white dots exploded in front of her eyes.
Oh God. I’m blacking out.

“Rae,” Yana called softly.

“Yana, are you in here? Why didn’t you answer before?” Rae cried, her voice getting higher with each word.

“Not so loud,” Yana warned, her voice low, but with a current of fear running through it that was almost like an
electric charge, something that made the hair on Rae’s arms stand on end. Yana was never scared.

“But why didn’t you answer?” Rae repeated, struggling to keep her voice under control. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. But I was unconscious. I don’t know for how long,” Yana answered.

“They
hit
you?” Rae burst out.

“What? Did you think a gang of fluffy bunnies with marshmallow hearts did this to us?” Yana asked. “Anyway, I’m
okay. Just got a lump on my head. So did I miss anything while I was out? Give me the soap opera digest.”

“One of them tied me up and told me to keep quiet or they’d know. Then the two of them-I think there were just
two-left,” Rae answered. Talking to Yana had helped her get a little bit of a grip. At least she wasn’t hyperventilating
anymore.

“So screaming our heads off would probably be a bad idea,” Yana said.

“They could be in another state by now, I guess,” Rae answered. “But if they aren’t-”

“Right,” Yana interrupted. “If they aren’t and they
are,
like, right next door, and we scream, then they’re the ones
who come running. And my head isn’t ready for round two.”

“Eventually someone will miss us. I told my dad I was going out with you, but if I don’t make it home tonight, he’ll
go crazy,” Rae said, a salty ball forming in her throat as she thought about her father and how worried he’d be. She
swallowed hard. It didn’t help much. “But even if he calls the police, they’d never think of looking for us here.

Unless-you didn’t tell your dad where you were going, did you?”

“I don’t tell him anything,” Yana answered. Rae could imagine the closed-off expression on her face. “And since
there’s enough frozen food in the fridge for a couple of days, he probably won’t notice I’m gone for, oh, a couple of
days.”

Rae knew she should say something to make Yanafeel better, but she had no idea what. She’d never even met
Yana’s father, so she couldn’t say that Yana was being too harsh or anything.

The silence stretched out. Thirty seconds. A minute. Suddenly Rae felt like the motel room was expanding, that if
she somehow managed to rip off her blindfold, she wouldn’t be able to see the walls. She’d be all alone in a
scratchy blackness. Even Yana would be too far away to hear her voice.

“Yan?” Rae said, freaked out.

“What?” Yana asked.

“Nothing. I just… never mind,” Rae answered. “Let’s keep talking, okay?”

“Our little trip to the center must have made somebody incredibly nervous,” Yana said. “There’s definitely
something more than knitting going on there. Or at least when your mom was there, there was. We’re at the place for
fifteen minutes, and the next day we’re-”

Rae stiffened, pain shooting through her muscles, as she heard the motel door swing open, then click shut.

“Somebody’s here,” Rae announced, in case Yana was too far away to have heard.

“That’s right,” a male voice answered. It really didn’t sound like Aiden. The voice was deeper-grittier. “Somebody’s
here. And somebody else better keep quiet and do exactly what they’re told.” Heraised his voice a little. “And you in
the bathroom, not one word out of you.” It wasn’t Aiden-she was almost positive. But the voice
did
sound familiar
somehow. Did she know this man from somewhere? Who
was
he?

Rae’s hands were untied, quickly, roughly. Something was shoved into her fingers, but she dropped it immediately.

“That’s not what I call cooperation,” the man said.

“The cord was too tight,” Rae protested. “My fingers weren’t getting any circulation. Feel them if you don’t believe
me. They’re like ice.” Her stomach turned over. She couldn’t believe she’d just invited the man to touch her.

“Shake them out,” he ordered, and Rae felt something cool and hard press against the back of her head. A gun. He
was holding a gun on her.

Rae hurried to obey him, shaking her hands wildly back and forth, feeling like someone was attacking her cold
fingers with a staple gun. Slowly warmth and sensation crept back into them, and the man pressed the object into
her grip again. This time she was able to keep hold of it-and to recognize it. A cell phone.

“Here’s what you’re going to do,” the man said. “You’re going to call your father. You’re going to tell him that you
and your friend decided to go to aconcert-don’t say which one, don’t say where-and that you’ll be too tired to drive
home tonight, so you’ll see him in the morning.”

“But he’ll-” Rae began. The gun pressed more firmly against her head. She could feel the circle of the metal barrel
through her hair.

“That’s all you say,” the man continued. “I’ll dial.” She felt the cell give little jerks as he punched in the numbers,
then he shoved the phone up to her ear. “No attempts at code or anything like that. I’m not stupid.”

“Hello?” her dad said.

Rae didn’t think she could get a word out. The salty lump had doubled in her throat. She made her free hand into a
fist, digging her nails into her hand, trying to get enough control of herself to do what she had to do.

“Hi, it’s me.” She didn’t even attempt to say the word
dad.
If she did, she’d lose it immediately. “Yana and I are
going to a concert tonight. It’s going to end late, and we’re going to be too tired to drive. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Immediately the phone was wrenched away. She hadn’t even had the chance to hear her father say one more
word, not even good-bye.