Secrets (17 page)

“You two keep being good,” the man ordered as he retied Rae’s hands, even more roughly thanbefore. Rae dug
her fingernails deeper into her flesh. She could feel warm blood spreading across her palm, but she didn’t let up.

She wasn’t going to cry, not with him there.

Rae heard the door open, then shut, then lock. Slowly she uncurled her fingers. Her eyes stung, but she managed
to hold back the tears. Now wasn’t the time, even though she and Yana were alone again.

“He’s gone,” she said.

“Are you all right?” Yana asked. “All I wanted to do was get free and rip his head off. But the more you try to get
these cords off, the tighter they get.”

“I know,” Rae answered. “Do you think it’s weird that he came in just then?”

“Weird how? We thought they were probably nearby,” Yana answered.

Rae wiped her bloody palm on the bedspread. “Yeah, but I said that my dad would be worried when I didn’t come
home tonight, and two minutes later he comes in wanting me to call my dad.”

“So you think they’re-” Yana began.

“I think they’re listening to everything we say,” Rae finished for her.

Jackie wiped her face with the edge of her blanket, taking way more time than necessary. Anthony got that. She
needed to get herself back under control. “Can you hand me my purse?” she asked. Anthony spotted a hairy pink
thing on a shelf with other stuff that seemed like it belonged to Jackie and tossed it to her.

“I said hand, not throw,” she muttered as she started rummaging through it. She pulled out some makeup-lipstick,
mascara, something Anthony didn’t recognize-then she slid a little mirror out of a plastic sheath and peered at
herself.

“God. I look-” She didn’t finish, she just got to work, dabbing some makeup under her eyes, then using what
looked like a big glue stick to put moremakeup on her forehead, down her nose, and across her chin.
She’s just

going to pretend the whole crying jag didn’t happen,
Anthony realized as she started rubbing in the streaks of
makeup with her fingers.

The last thing Anthony wanted to do was start her up again, but clearly her brother, Phillip, was a big part of
Jackie’s problem. All he’d had to do was say the name and-flood. He had to push her. Now. Before she got all
armored up again. “So, Phillip,” he said.

“What do you know about Phillip?” Jackie asked as she began outlining one of her eyes with a makeup pencil.

“Not much,” Anthony admitted. “But he’s got a lot to do with your aspirin OD, right?”

“My brother doesn’t even live at home,” Jackie answered, still working on her face. “Don’t you think playing
amateur shrink is a little ambitious? Why don’t you pretend to be a lifeguard or something?”

Anthony felt a muscle in his jaw twitch and hoped Jackie didn’t see it. He didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of
knowing she was getting to him again.

“I don’t exactly need a college education to put it together,” Anthony told her. “I say the name Phillip, and you start
spewing tears and snot.” He grabbed a handful of the sheet she’d been using as Kleenex and waved it in front of
her face. Evidence.

“It didn’t have anything to do with Phillip,” Jackie insisted. “Phillip is the same as he’s been for the last five years,
the family screwup.” Jackie put her finger to her lips and made a loud shushing sound. “But nobody’s supposed to
know that. Everybody’s supposed to think our Phillip is off at boarding school, playing rugby, making the honor roll,
and getting ready to make us all proud at the college of his choice.”

“So, if he’s not there, where is he?” Anthony asked.

Jackie didn’t answer for a minute. She’d gotten all busy with her lipstick. Finally she seemed satisfied with the way
her mouth looked and answered his question. “Oh, he is in boarding school some of the time. When he’s not in
rehab.” She gave another exaggerated shushing sound. “He got started on Ritalin, then moved on to coke. I think
he’s still on crystal meth right now. It’s hard to know exactly. It’s not like anybody bothers to talk to me about it. But I
hear things. I do actually live in the house with my parents, whether they realize it or not.”

Okay, she wants some attention from Mommy and Daddy. That’s what this is all about.
He hadn’t spent three years
listening to Abramson drag crap like this out of people for nothing. What would she say right now?

“Have you ever told your parents you want to know what’s going on?” Anthony said, doing his Abramson
impression. “You know, asked them right out?”

Jackie laughed, a harsh sound that should be called something totally different than a laugh. “You really are
stupid, aren’t you?” she asked. “Let me spell it out in little words. Phillip is in boarding school. Phillip is wonderful.

We are all very, very proud of Phillip. That is all anyone in my family is willing to talk about.”

“So when do you get sent to boarding school?” Anthony demanded. “After another cry-for-help aspirin suicide?

Or will you have to go for the heavy stuff-razors or whatever?”

“Get out of here,” Jackie said, her voice calm and low. She slid her mirror back into its sheath and began replacing
her makeup in her purse, not even glancing over to see if he was obeying her command.

He wasn’t. He hardly knew the girl. There was no reason for him to give a crap what happened to her. But he did.

Maybe because it was so clear she had no one else.

“That’s what you want, you know that, right? I mean, you’re the smart one here,” Anthony told her. “You want your
turn to be Phillip. Why should you have to be the one pretending everything is great?

Why shouldn’t you get a turn being the screwup?” He figured that’s about what Abramson would say. Although
she’d have worked it out so that Jackie ended up saying it herself. Anthony didn’t have time for that.

Jackie opened her mouth, shut it, then opened it again. She looked like a freakin’ fish, but Anthony didn’t point that
out.

“I don’t want to be a screwup,” she finally managed to say.

“Chugging vodka and tequila-then driving. Shoplifting,” Anthony began.

“I was just having fun,” Jackie protested. “I’m still pulling in the grades. I’m still-”

“What was fun about all the aspirin?” Anthony asked.

Jackie did the fish face again.

“You’re pissed off at having to keep all the Phillip stuff a secret. You hate pretending everything is fine, right?”

Anthony said. He looked at her until she raised her eyes to his.

“Yeah,” she admitted.

“Well, that’s what you’re doing with yourself,” he pointed out, pulling another Abramson. “You’re trying to pretend
that everything is okay with you. In a minute you’ll be telling me that you’re playing rugby and that you’ll have your
pick of schools.”

Jackie blinked rapidly, and Anthony thought he saw a sheen of tears in her eyes. They didn’t spill over, though.

Then she smiled, a tiny smile. “My parents would freak if I actually made them talk about Phillip and me and
everything. It would be their worst nightmare.”

Anthony leaned close to her. “Family counseling,” he whispered.

Jackie giggled. “Oh my God. They’d die.”

“But if your doctor told them it was necessary…” Anthony said.

“I’m sure she would,” Jackie agreed. The smile left her face.

Anthony figured it had just hit her that it wouldn’t be quite so much fun to actually go through with the counseling.

To be in a room with her parents and actually say the things that no one was supposed to say.

“You can do it,” Anthony said. “The next time your doctor comes in, talk to her. Or I could talk to her for you.”

Jackie shook her head. “No. I can do it myself,” she answered. “In fact, why wait for her to come in? My parents
are paying enough for this private room and all. Why don’t I get her in here right now.” She reached out and pushed
the call button. “I’ll have one of the nurses fetch her for me.”

“Should I stay?” Anthony asked.

“No. You’re of no more use to me,” Jackie answered. But she stretched out her hand and squeezed his arm. She
didn’t let go until the nurse came into the room.

Anthony stood up and left, turning at the door to give Jackie a wink.
Got through that alive,
he thought as he
headed down the hall to the elevators. No thanks to Rae.

He spotted a pay phone and dialed Rae’s cell again. No answer. “I just got done here. It went okay, I guess,” he
said when her voice mail beeped. “I hope you’re enjoying yourself wherever you are,” he added, then slammed
down the phone.

Rae knew she should probably keep quiet. If she and Yana were being monitored, the way they thought they were,
then why give the men anything to listen to? But she was pretty sure if she didn’t start talking, she’d end up
screaming. And then she and Yana would end up dead.

“Yana,” she said softly. “Why do you think they had me tell my dad the concert story? It doesn’t give them a lot of
time. If I don’t get home tomorrow, he’s still going to go nuts.”

“I’ve been thinking about that, too,” Yana answered. Her voice sounded kind of hollow,probably from the
acoustics in the bathroom where they’d stuck her. “Maybe they’re planning to let us go tomorrow.”

Rae wished that was true. But it didn’t make sense. “Why would they just keep us overnight?” she asked, hoping
Yana had a good reason.

“Maybe they want to know if we found out anything at the center,” Yana suggested. “Except they aren’t asking us
any questions, so…” She sighed. “I guess the other thing is they could just be planning to kill us.”

The words were like an icicle stabbing into Rae’s heart. “Kill?” she managed to repeat.

“The concert thing would be a false lead,” Yana explained. “When-if-you don’t get home, your dad will call the
cops. He’ll tell them that you said you were going to a concert. They’d probably check out where there were major
concerts around Atlanta last night and see if there were any accidents. If there weren’t… well, they definitely
wouldn’t be looking for us in a Motel 6. I don’t know. I’m just-” Her voice actually cracked, something Rae had never
heard in all the time she’d known her. “I don’t know,” she finished in a quiet, uncertain tone.

Hearing Yana sound so shaky made the fear in Rae multiply. Yana didn’t scare easily. “What time do you think it is?

” she asked.

“It feels like it’s been days. But maybe it’s only been a few hours,” Yana said.

By the time I count to a thousand, someone will find us,
Rae thought.
Or, no, by the time I count to a million.
When
she was a little girl, she’d tried to count to a million a bunch of times, but she always fell asleep, or lost her place, or
got distracted.
If I do it this time, Yana and I will be okay.
She knew the thought was ridiculous, at least most of her
did. There was a little, teeny piece that still believed in-Rae jerked, the cords biting into her, as she heard the door swing open and then shut. What was going to happen
this time?

The mattress beneath her sank down as someone sat beside her. She could smell something antiseptic. God, she
hated that smell. It was a total hospital smell.

Experiments.
The word screamed through her mind. Was that why the man had the antiseptic smell? Was he about
to do some kind of experiment on her? Maybe the same experiment that had been done on her mother?

Rae heard a rustling sound. And a new odor hit her nose. Tuna fish. A moment later something soft brushed
against her lips. Gooseflesh broke out all over her body. He had his hand on her mouth. It wasso intimate. The light
touch was so much worse than being roughly tied up.

“Eat,” the man ordered.

It’s not his fingers,
Rae realized.
It’s bread. It’s a tuna sandwich.
The bread was pushed more firmly against her
lips. “I’m not hungry,” she said. But her stomach growled, and saliva flooded her mouth. “I’m not hungry,” she
repeated. She wasn’t going to eat anything they gave her. It could be drugged. It could be poisoned. It could be-

“Eat,” the man said again. And then his hands were on her mouth, his fingers prying open her lips and teeth. He
shoved the sandwich at her again, and Rae choked down a bite. The man jammed the sandwich at her lips again
before she’d even finished swallowing. Rae took another bite, wanting to get this over with, wanting him to get away
from her. She started to choke, flecks of the sandwich flying out of her mouth.