Secrets of My Hollywood Life (22 page)

"So was it worth it then -- to put your career on the line for a few months of anonymity?" Jaime asks.

I look at Mom and Dad, who are studying me closely. Matt is leaning forward in his chair, hands on the knees of his pre-ripped jeans. Nadine is practically chewing off her fingernails. Meanwhile, Laney looks as cool as a cucumber. "Yes and no," I answer slowly. "Clark Hall was a vacation for me. I met some amazing friends and got to make real high school memories." I pause. "But going to Clark didn't help me escape my problems. It only created more of them.

"Instead of embracing who I really am -- a teen actress who loves her job despite the occasional drama and lack of vacations -- I dragged a whole school into my mess. I went into hiding. I should have faced those tabloid rumors about Sky and me, instead of lying about them." My voice rises with confidence. "And I should have demanded a little R and R instead of overextending myself and then complaining about it after the fact. I should have come clean to my fans a lot earlier." I breathe deeply and grin. "As I'm talking to you, I can feel the weight lifting from my shoulders."

"That's great, Kaitlin," Jaime says, a little distractedly. "But are you saying the rumors about you and Sky are true then?" She motions for her cameraman to come in closer for an emotional headshot.

I think of Sky's behavior this past year. "It's true that we don't always get along," I admit. It's nerve-racking to be so honest for the first time. "But you can't tell me you like everyone you work with either," I add. Jaime's hazel eyes sparkle with amusement. I choose my next words carefully. "That doesn't mean I'm not professional. I
love
working at
FA
and just because my life there has its challenges doesn't mean that I hate being there. I'm grateful every day for the chance to be on a hit show.

"Sky's done some things that have really upset me. We're not close, but that doesn't mean we throw tantrums, like you read in the gossips. It just means that we don't hang out outside work. And it means that I won't be sharing a dressing room with her anytime soon." We both laugh.

"I interviewed your friends earlier," Jaime tells me, leaning forward and smiling. "They had wonderful things to say about you. Even the ones you misled."

"I'm lucky, aren't I?" I give Jaime a cheeky grin.

"Your friend Liz in particular made a passionate argument against Sky," Jaime says. "She claims that Sky stole your Sidekick at a photo shoot, and that's how Sky found out about your double life."

"I don't know if Sky took my Sidekick," I reply. "I do wonder how she found out about my alter ego. Only the people closest to me knew, and they'd never betray me. But even if Sky did deliberately try to hurt me, it won't keep me from returning to
FA
this fall, if they'll have me."

I pause for a moment and exhale deeply, then look straight into the camera's dark lens. "If I have one regret about this whole experience, it's that my double life hurt people more than I could have imagined." Austin's stunned face looms in my mind. "You know who you are. I just wish there were some way I could tell you how sorry I am."

Jaime smiles at me. "What will you take away from this experience?"

"Going to Clark made me realize how much I need my friends outside the business. It's great to talk about something other than the industry for a change. But it also reminded me how deeply I love my career," I add, thinking of the Hutch Adams role I still desperately want, even though I probably won't get it. "I would really miss acting if I weren't doing it. And I hope I'll be doing it for a very long time."

Jaime motions to the cameraman to stop taping. She pulls off her mic. "Perfect final line, Kaitlin," Jaime says, standing up and shaking my hand. "I didn't have to press you to answer the hard questions either."

"That interview was better than therapy!" I laugh. "Thank you." I pull off my mic and grin at Laney, Nadine, Rodney, my parents, and Matt. Nadine starts to applaud, and they all join in. Rodney puts his fingers in his mouth and gives a loud whistle. My smile is wide enough to split my face.

I know it's been a while, but watch out world -- Kaitlin Burke is back.

Eighteen:
No Place Like Home

After the Jaime Robins interview airs, our phone starts ringing off the hook. This time it's for a happy reason -- people are calling to congratulate me.

And to ask for an interview, of course.

Over the next two weeks, I'll hit the talk show circuit to tell my whole scandalous tale again. I speak to the weeklies and the newspapers. With Zara's help, I do a first-person story for
Teen People.
Even Liz, Beth, and Allison get in on the frenzy. They're being interviewed by all the glossies. Beth and Allison love having Paul and Shelly make them camera-ready. Beth's even found herself a new part-time job because of it -- modeling.
Hollywood Teen
called her and said she'd be perfect for a fashion story they're shooting next month.

The fickle press has become my best friend again. One minute they were roasting me, the next they're calling me "the most breathtakingly real teen in Hollywood."(Thank you,
Entertainment Weekly.)
Sky's worries about my split personality were forgotten. Instead,
she's
been busy sidestepping questions from the media about how she came to know about Rachel Rogers in the first place. So far, she's hasn't answered that burning question.

But far more important than the press's applause is the support I'm getting from my friends and costars. Melli sent me flowers and a note that said, "I couldn't be more proud if you were my own daughter." Principal P sent me a bouquet of daisies with a note signed, "Your number one Family Fanatic."

Tom Pullman calls me the morning after Jaime's interview airs and says I should have called him sooner. "I would have told you that you always have a job at
FA,
no matter what happens," he chides.

As I hang up the phone, it rings again in my hand.

"Hello?" I answer, confused.

"Kaitlin, doll, fabulously entertaining interview," a voice coos in a smooth-as-velvet tone.

It takes me a second, but then I realize who it is: Hutch Adams. I'm at a loss for words. "Hello," I manage to get out.

"I haven't phoned your people back because I was scouting locations," Hutch continues. "My nieces have told me about your nasty little internal drama. Fascinating stuff."

I listen breathlessly for what is coming next. Is he calling to say I didn't get the part? Better luck next time? The only sound I can hear is my heart thumping loudly.

"The range of emotions you expressed in the Robins interview is better than any audition you could have done with my casters. Great job, Miss Burke."

"Thank you Mr. Adams." I'm dumbstruck at the compliment. But is it a consolation prize? "If I may, I'd like to make a case for myself in your lead role. I really hope you will still consider me. I know you wouldn't be disappointed. I would work ..."

"Save your breath," Hutch laughs. "I'm calling to tell you you're hired. Warts and all." I put a hand over my mouth to keep from screaming and start jumping up and down on my bed, something I haven't done since I was ten. The
thuds
must have reached Mom, Dad, Nadine, and Matt downstairs, because within minutes they're at my side, Rodney barreling through the door first. I can see on their faces that they're all wondering what's going on. I mouth "Hutch" with a big smile on my face.

"You got the job?" Matt whispers, incredulous. I shake my head vigorously, and Mom begins to weep. Dad gives me a big thumbs-up sign. Nadine quickly dials Laney, whom I can hear screaming through the cell phone.

"Don't forget to ask him about a role for me," Matt urges, clutching my shoulder.

I listen to Hutch for a few more minutes, tuning out the chaos around me. If I'm hearing him right, not only do I have the lead in
The Untitled Hutch Adams Project,
but he also wants to turn my school escapade into a movie!

"You can help me write the screenplay," he suggests as my family jumps up and down around me.

"I'll definitely think about it," I say giddily. "Thank you, Mr. Adams. Thank you so much. You won't be disappointed."

"I'm sure I won't, Kaitlin," Hutch agrees. "Your agent will be beeping in any minute now to have you sign the papers that I've already sent over. We'll talk again soon." With that, he hangs up, and I scream at the top of my lungs.

"I GOT THE PART!"

"We
did it!" Mom shouts excitedly.

"Katie-Kat," Dad interrupts. "Did he mention hiring me as a producer?"

"Or me for a role?" Matt adds, pulling himself up on my bed so he can jump as well. "I didn't hear you say my name."

Nadine groans.

I just smile. My family might give me a hard time, but I know they care about me. When things get tough, which I'm sure they will again down the road, my family has my back.

With six weeks till I have to report for pre-production on
The Untitled Hutch Adams Project,
I've set out to clean up the rest of the mess I started. I start by paying my "favorite"
FA
costar a little visit.

Turns out, Sky isn't in the mood to kiss and make up.

"She's not home," states the matronly housekeeper when Rodney, Liz, and I appear in their double-size black-and-white ceramic doorway.

"Funny, isn't that her Escalade in the driveway?" I ask sweetly.

"That's her father's car," the housekeeper answers, wiping her hands nervously on a white apron emblazoned with Sky's face.

"Gee, Kates, I thought that's the car Sky's mom drives her to work in every morning," Rodney retorts. "Isn't Sky's car candy-apple red?"

"Yes, Rodney, I believe it is," I reply, fiddling with the spaghetti straps on my sage green peasant top. "Sky told me she had the color custom blended so that it would be one-of-a-kind." Liz, Rodney, and I stare expectantly at the wide-hipped woman blocking our way.

The housekeeper looks desperate. "She's still not home. Please leave or I'll have to call the authorities."

"Speaking of authorities, Kates, didn't you have a talk with Tom Pullman this morning?" Liz prompts me.

"Why yes, Lizzie, thank you for reminding me," I say with a sly smile. "Tom said my job was completely secure. He also told me how terribly upset he was about the lies that appeared in the press. To keep that kind of thing from happening again, Tom's implementing a new set rule: If anyone at
FA
makes false statements to the press, they'll be fired."

"You don't say." Liz's voice echoes in the long hallway. "Did Tom ask you if you knew who was talking about you to the press?" Rodney chuckles as the housekeeper chokes and starts coughing wildly. She tries to close the door on us, but Rodney puts his combat boot in her way.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, he did," I answer loudly. "I wasn't going to tell him, but maybe I should."

"I would call him right now, actually," Liz suggests coolly.

I pull out my cell phone and pretend to dial. Suddenly Sky appears in the doorway wearing a pink silk cropped pa-jama top and matching capri bottoms. She shoves the distressed housekeeper out of her way.

"What do you want?" she asks coldly.

"Oh, hi, Skylar." I smile sweetly. "I thought you weren't home."

"You can't prove anything." Sky looks calm, but I can see her chest rising and falling rapidly, and her crossed arms are shaking slightly.

I look at Rodney and Liz. They take a step back to give me space to do this alone.

"You don't scare me," Sky responds, eyes flicking back and forth. "You have no proof that I talked to anyone at the tabloids, and you certainly can't prove I took your Sidekick."

"That's not why I'm here." I tell Sky. "I don't care if you did take my Sidekick. And I don't care if you're the one who planted those stories in the press either." Sky looks confused.

"Actually, I just came over to thank you," I explain. "Whether you intended to or not, you did me a big favor by pulling those stunts. That tabloid garbage was making me feel like I had to choose between acting and having a life. But you know what? I've realized I don't have to choose, Sky. No matter what you say or do, you can't make me give up my career. I work too hard and I love it too much. I'm
not
going away anytime soon."

Sky's jaw drops, but she doesn't say a word.

"So you can pack your bags and head to Mexico this hiatus to do your miniseries," I continue.
"I'm
reporting to the Hutch Adams set to work on my next blockbuster movie."

"You got the part?" Sky screeches angrily.

"And when we go back to
FA
in August, you better be ready." I ignore her angry spluttering. "Because next time I get some bad press, I won't be afraid to speak up about where the rumors are coming from. As you might have noticed from the Jaime Robins special, Sky, I know how to give a good interview too." I spin on my funky banana heels from Fred Segal and walk down her steps. Rodney and Liz follow me.

"Enjoy your summer, Skylar," I call out as we stride away.

"That was awesome!" Rodney exclaims when the three of us pile back in the car. Liz squeezes me tightly.

"I can't believe you!" Liz applauds. "You really gave it to her."

"I did, didn't I?" I lean back into the seat, content. "Hopefully she'll be more careful about how she treats me from now on."

"So that's it then," Rodney says. "You've taken care of everything."

"Not everything," I tell them both. "We have one more stop to make, but this time, you two are staying in the car."

Twenty minutes later, we pull up in front of Austin's cozy redbrick house.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Liz asks quietly.

I look at the front door. "I have to," I explain softly. "He won't take my phone calls."

"You can do it, Kates," Rodney booms encouragingly. I smile at them both, take a deep yoga breath, and open the car door. I slowly walk up the path, rehearsing what I'm going to say in my head. I ring the doorbell and look back at the car. The windows are tinted, but I know Rodney and Liz are pressed up against them, watching.