Seduce Me (15 page)

He chuckles which makes me smirk seeing a big guy like him chuckle. “You did good, girl.”

“I haven’t done much Cruz. Pretty much just slept the day away.” I shrug my shoulder.

“Woman. That man wouldn’t sit still for five minutes. You come along and he’s sleeping like a baby.”

“Cruz. He just likes a warm body to keep him company, and I’m just the closest thing he’s got right now. I’m sure the next one will come along in a day or so and I’ll be long forgotten.”

“You need to talk to Princess about this shit. And for the record, you’re full of shit.” He grabs his beer and leaves me at the bar.

Looking around, Becs nods his head to me and I nod back. I search for Harlow, but see her nowhere. She must be with Cooper. The thought is a double edged sword. I want to see him, but I know it will hurt to see the little guy running around, when my little one didn’t have a chance.

Shaking my head, I move to the kitchen where Ma is standing preparing food with Legs and Bubbles. “Hi.” I give a slight wave as all eyes turn to me. Ma rushes to me wrapping her arms tight around my body as I do the same.

“Man, I missed you baby girl. I’m so glad you’re home.” My insides turn warm, wanted, loved. I feel the red blush creeping up my cheeks. Ma pulls away, “Look at you! You are skin and bones, you need food, now.” She shakes her head disapprovingly.

“I eat Ma. I’ve just been under a bit of stress with school, but it’ll get better.” I reassure her not knowing if it will ever get better.

“You’ll eat now while you’re here. If I have to watch every bite you put in your mouth, I will young lady.” I grin. “And you need strength to take care of my boy.” My lips fall and my eyes close.

“Ma, it’s only for a few more hours and then he’ll be on his own, but thanks.”

“Sweetheart, my boy is a stubborn man like his daddy. You don’t give up on him, you hear me.”

I nod and the tightness in my chest returns. I give a slight cough to clear my throat. “I need to get some food for G.T. he hasn’t eaten in a while.”

“I’ll get it sweetheart.” She releases her hold on me, moving quickly throughout the kitchen.

Legs approaches, “You are so beautiful Casey and smart to boot. Your daddy is so proud of you right now.”

One small mention of Bam and I’m fighting back tears that I thought had dried up. “Thank you.” I choke out trying to hold back.

“We were all so worried when you left. We still are. I know that Bam wanted you to go to school, but can’t you do that online or something so you’re home?” I stand there shocked at her words. Never once has anyone really said anything about my leaving. Never once have any of them said they wanted me to stay here. “I mean, we all know you are smart and can do it, we just miss you here.” She smiles pulling away.

“I never thought about online school.” In fact, when I found out I was pregnant I couldn’t get out of here quick enough.

“Just something to think about.” She winks moving back to the counter of food.

Bubbles giggles as she walks over and wraps her arms around me tight. “I agree with everything they said. But I want to add, G.T. needs you. He just hasn’t been himself since you left.”

I pull away from her, hurt by her words. “He doesn’t want me, Bubbles. He made it perfectly clear and I’ll be going right back to school when Diamond’s funeral is over.” Something inside of me strengthened. I just don’t care that he isn’t the same. It’s his own damn fault. Not mine. He did this, not me.

“I’m sad to hear that.” She shakes her head back and forth. “We sure do miss you.”

“I really need to get G.T.’s food and get back. He’ll be waking up soon and if I’m not there, he’ll get out of bed.” She nods, moving away.

I turn to Ma, who holds out two plates of heaping with food. “Thanks.” Ma doesn’t say a word as I leave the kitchen heading back to G.T.’s room.

Entering the room, G.T.’s eyes bore into mine as I enter. “I got food.” I hold up the plates showing him.

“You weren’t supposed to leave.” His voice is tense and strained.

“I was only gone for a minute.” I walk to the side table setting the food down.

“That’s what the phone is for. You could have called it in.” He demands.

“I needed some air. I’m here. Calm down.” I place my plate on the desk and walk back over to the bed, grabbing the small bed tray to set his food on.

G.T. slowly moves up and I place the tray on his lap along with the food. “You need to stay here with me. Alright?” His voice pleads catching me off guard. I pause and stare at him, his face showing every bit of the plea.

“I’m here. No worries. Let’s eat.” I move to the desk and bring my plate to G.T’s side table. We eat in companionable silence. I can only get a little down, my appetite still not up to normal.

“That all you’re gonna eat, Angel?” He asks swallowing his food.

“I’m finished.”

“You hardly ate anything. Here.” He holds his fork out with turkey and mashed potatoes on it to my mouth expectantly. I roll my eyes, but open my mouth to take a bite. “See now that’s not so hard.”

“The ol’ ladies are good cooks.”

For the next fifteen minutes, G.T. takes two bites and then feeds one to me. Warmth floods my body at his sweet and kind gesture. My heart flutters threatening to fly out of my chest. I try not reading more into this than it is, but he is making it difficult.

After we are done, I clear the plates setting them on the desk after G.T. refuses to let me leave to take them back to the kitchen. I give G.T. his meds and he takes them without complaint.

“Harlow said I need to change your bandage. You alright with that.”

“Better question is, are you?” My spine stiffens and my face shows resolve.

“Of course I am. I can handle just about anything.”

I remove the bandages, seeing for the first time the wounds that could have ended his life. My gut clenches at the thought of losing him. It’s one thing to not be with him, it’s another to lose him forever. I clean and add the salve from Doc and bandage him all back up.

“Why don’t you go back to sleep. I’m gonna work on some homework.” I move around the bed to the desk sitting in the chair.

“I think we need to talk.” My blood runs cold; there is no way Harlow had the chance to talk to him without me around. I continue looking at the desk.

“About?”

“Angel, come sit down.” I blow out a deep breath the coldness in my veins heating fast, nerves begin to rack me.

I get up slowly and sit on the edge of the bed. He grips my hand tight and the most unexpected words fall from his lips.

“I lied.” I stare at him having no idea what he’s talking about. “I didn’t fuck that woman who came out of my room that day. I lied about that.”

I gasp and jump out of his grip moving quickly away from the bed. “Why would you do that?” I try my damnedest to hold back.

“I’m a fucking dumbass.” He grumbles and I wait. “Bam wanted you to go to school, get your degree.” He pauses. “And you need someone better. Someone who doesn’t live this fucked up life.”

Anger rises in my gut. Strength I thought I’d lost when I lost Mia comes back in full force. I move quickly to the other side of the room needing some space. “Fuck you! I needed you! I wanted you and only you! And I’m sure you fucked anything that came in front of you.”

“No.”

I stare at him. “So this whole fucking time, I thought you cheated on me. That I wasn’t enough for you! That my pussy didn’t satisfy you.” I turn away not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing the welled up tears. He does not deserve them.

“Not good enough?” G.T.’s voice reverberates through the room making me jolt. “You’re too good, Angel. Too perfect. With you, I don’t want anyone else. I don’t need anyone else.” I hear movement over by the bed.

“Do not get out of that bed.” I demand between clenched teeth. “You pass out again, I’m leaving your ass on the floor.”

“Angel. Look at me.”

“No.” I am not falling for this shit. “I saw you kiss her G.T. Don’t tell me that was a figment of my imagination.”

“That was a thank you peck. It wasn’t a kiss. She cleaned my room, Angel. That’s all.”

“So you’re telling me you never fucked her.” I bat the tears away focusing on the anger bubbling inside of me.

“I didn’t say that. It was before we got together.” He did this. If he wouldn’t have lied, I would have told him about Mia and I wouldn’t have lost her. It’s all his fault. “Look, I fucked up. I know it. Please come here.”

“It’s your fault. It’s all your fucking fault!” I scream so loud I think the walls will shudder. Fury races through my body and I cannot control anything, especially my mouth. My hands shake and my vision becomes hazy. “You’re the reason she’s gone. If you wouldn’t have lied and told me the truth, none of this would have happened!” I clench my fists wanting to punch something, mainly G.T.’s face.

“Who is she?”

“Mia!”

“Who in the hell is Mia? You’ve got me lost.” I don’t even register the confused look on his face because I don’t care. I don’t care about anything. Nothing.

“The day you told me I wasn’t good enough, you remember that? Well, it was the day I was coming to tell you I was pregnant!” His eyes widen. “Yeah. Your baby growing inside of me, but no, that happy moment got crushed because you were a fucking prick!” I scream.

“You’re carrying my baby?” His eyes move to my stomach, my very flat stomach, his forehead wrinkles. I hold on to the fury and grab it with both hands because if I break now, I’ll be in a pile on the floor. Fury is the only thing that can get me through this right now.

“
Had
G.T., had your baby growing inside of me.”

I turn to him and he straightens on the bed standing up to his full height, well over six feet. His face turns menacing and if I were anyone else, I’d probably be shitting myself right about now. But I’m not. I stand my ground.

“You mean to tell me you aborted my baby?” Each word comes out in rage, a small amount of spittle with each word. His words make me snap and lose all sense of reality.

“No, you fucking prick! No! I would never kill
my
baby!” I point to my chest to punctuate the word my. “I miscarried, you fucking asshole!”

He crosses his arms over his chest, wrinkles forming around his eyes like he’s in deep thought. My body is breathing so hard I’m beginning to feel light headed, but keep my head up. “You weren’t going to tell me. You fucking left here, carrying my baby and weren’t going to fucking tell me, Casey? What the hell is wrong with you?” He seethes.

I laugh not a happy one but a what-the-fuck-am-I-doing one. “I was coming back to tell you, even if you didn’t deserve to know. I was waiting until I found out if it was a boy or a girl!”

“You fucking said it was a girl.”

“I don’t know for sure. It’s what I think she was. I lost her before I could find out.” My grasp on the anger is beginning to slip, but I hold on by my fingertips.

“So if I wouldn’t have gotten hurt and Diamond wouldn’t have gotten killed, would you have even fucking told me? Or would you have just gone on living your happy little college life up north?”

“Fuck off. I’m done explaining myself to you. You know about her and your twenty-four hours is officially up in my book. Stay the hell away from me while I’m here.”

I walk to the door and grab the handle. “How do I even know the baby’s mine?” He questions from behind me snidely.

The knife that he just stabbed me with had become encased in my heart. Anything left inside of it shrivels into nothingness. “You don’t. Guess you have nothing to be upset about.” I turn the handle of the door and slam it behind me. I turn to go to my room, but stop. If I go there, I will cry myself into oblivion. I need to be around people, it will be the only way to hold myself together.

Walking into the main room, I head directly to the bar where Buzz is standing with a smile as he sees me, but it falls. “What’s wrong girl?” He asks innocently enough.

“Nothing. I need a bottle of Jim and a glass, please.” I motion to the bottle on the wall.

Buzz gets them and pours my first shot, the burning seeps through my body and I can feel the exact moment it hits my stomach. I close my eyes at the fire, but open them quickly pouring another one. I don’t normally drink, but screw it. Screw it all. I pour another and another, shooting them both back quickly.

“You might want to slow down there sunshine.” Tug says from behind the bar next to Buzz.

I wave him off and pour my next shot. My head is already fuzzy, but I can’t stop myself. The music and the commotion around me does nothing to deter my interest in the golden amber liquid in front of me. If only I can forget, just for a while. I gulp another and the bottle is snatched away from me.

I turn my head to the culprit and sigh. Becs. “What are you doing, girl?” The little girl inside wants to shrivel up in his arms, just to feel some closeness with Bam, but I refrain.

“Just having a drink. That’s what we do around here, Becs. Drink, screw and drink some more.”

“You’re done.” He says with authority, I roll my eyes.

“I am not done! Give me a bottle and I’ll take it to my room.” I yell looking into his eyes that are laced with deep concern.

“No, care to tell me what the hell is going on?”

“Guilt!” is boomed from across the room and all movement in the clubhouse seizes. I blow out a breath, wishing I was back up in Cherry Vale, even if it reminds me of Mia, it’s better than this.

I ignore him and turn to Becs. “Just give me one more, please.” I plead, but it falls on deaf ears.

“Guilt from what, Casey?” I shake my head at Becs question.

“From not telling me she was pregnant with my baby and leaving like a fucking coward!” G.T. yells. The audible gasps around the room make my stomach constrict, even if what he’s saying is a lie, it hurts.

“Go to hell!” I yell over my shoulder.

“You’re pregnant, Casey?” Becs asks gripping the bottle in his hand so tight, his knuckles turn white. I thought for sure he’d crush the bottle.

I look him in the eyes. “I lost her.” I whisper softly only to him, but no doubt everyone in the room heard it.