Seductive Secrecy (Shadows series) (24 page)

“Figures.”

“I’m not the only one he’s not talking to?”

I shook my head. “Nope.”

“I’ve never seen him like this.” He lifted his fork and placed a
potato into his mouth. “He always has moments where he gets quiet and introverted, but they usually don’t last this long. He’s really fucked up over this.”

“I don’t know what to do.” I took another drink of my wine and filled my mouth with the food from my plate. Despite my stomach
hurting, everything tasted surprisingly good. Cameron could
prepare the basics in the kitchen; beyond that, he liked to order out. Ryder’s cooking was similar to the way he had treated me in my wing: he was something of a perfectionist, particular about the ingredients he used and the time and attention he put into each course. I could taste all of it, in every bite.

“Trust me: you can’t do anything. I know my brother, and he
just needs time to work it out.”

I understood that he was having a hard time with this. I was, too. But he was taking this to a whole different level. The distance he needed to heal wasn’t making us closer; it was teaching me how to live without him.

“How much time?” I asked.

He looked over at me, his eyes slowly running from my
forehead
to my chin. Even his stare was different from Cameron’s. It was
sexual and feral all the time.

“I remember one time when we were younger, we were living with my mom and she needed to re-up. So she took us to this arcade, gave us two bucks and told us to busy ourselves for an hour or so. There was a guy hustling outside the arcade, selling baseball hats
and sports memorabilia to the people passing by and I walked
outside to check it out. All my friends wore hats, but I’d never owned one.
This time, I wanted one…so I went to get it. Without him. When
Cameron
noticed I was gone, he came outside all nervous and hard and
cold
not his usual thing. He didn’t yell at me; he didn’t talk to me, which was worse. I wanted him to tell me what I had done wrong so we could get over this little problem I’d caused. I had to ride it out, to wait until he was ready to talk again.” He smiled, but it looked unhappy somehow. “That’s just Cameron, Charlie. He keeps it all in until he gets past it. That hasn’t changed at all since we were kids. Silence is his communication. It’s fucking brutal…I know first-hand.”

I lifted my glass of wine and held it between my hands and
shifted in my seat so I faced him. Before tonight, I hadn’t asked Ryder any
questions about Cameron or their childhood. But Ryder had
discussed this with such an ease that made me feel comfortable enough to ask. It didn’t make hearing his response easy. Those were the years that Cameron had only shown me brief glimpses of. I was eager to hear
Ryder’s take. I knew he’d have a completely different perspective on
things.

“Who took his voice away?” I asked.

He shrugged. “Could have been anyone. There were a lot of
different men around us when we were growing up.  My mother’s bedroom had a revolving door, and during our stints in foster care, the fathers weren’t exactly role models. Those places we stayed in…they were pretty fucking ugly.”

“He’s told me a little. Not much, though.”

“He took a lot of hits for me, my brother.” He picked up his napkin, wiped his mouth, and drained the rest of his wine, showing me I wasn’t the only one feeling the emotion in this conversation. Then he moved to the other side of the island to grab the bottle, and he filled both of our glasses. “That kid was my everything. I looked up to him like no one else. He had this magical talent where he could
take anything
crayon, marker, paint
and use it to create a
masterpiece. And he was
so
smart…me, not so much. I was okay with words, but
I was better with my fists. Cam still wouldn’t let me fight them off,
though. He took every blow.” He shook his head, the lines in his
forehead deepening.

“Is that why you became a cop? To keep things like this from happening to anyone else?”

He shrugged. “Yeah…I figured there wasn’t anything better I could do with my life than put bastards like that away. Those fuckers shouldn’t be allowed to house kids. Shit, they shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near kids—
period
. And mothers like mine should have their tubes tied during their first stay in prison.”

The door off the entryway opened. The noise startled us both. When Cameron walked through, we looked up and met his vacant eyes. He didn’t appear surprised to find us in the kitchen, together, facing each other from opposite sides of the counter. He didn’t appear to care, either.

“You come for your plate, Cam?” Ryder asked him.

Cameron didn’t answer. He moved down the hallway and disappeared into the bedroom. He was only gone for a few minutes, returning with a different outfit on and a splash of cologne on his skin. I could smell it in the air.

“I’m headed to a meeting,” he said, not looking at either of us. “I’ll see you both later.”

He finally glanced at me just as the elevator door was coming to a close. I could feel his gaze sear through my whole body. The silence was painful, but the lack of emotion was even worse. It wasn’t a look of seduction, of intimacy or love. It was a glare filled
with secrets. He didn’t look angry, or as if he was trying to be
punishing. He just looked lost.

“Isn’t that the third night this week he’s gone out?” Ryder asked.

I nodded.

“Is he usually gone this much?”

The wine was really starting to hit me. I could feel my skin
beginning to get flushed and my head turning light and fuzzy. I cut off a chunk of chicken and popped it into my mouth. I didn’t mind the buzz; I just didn’t want to get sloppy. “Sometimes.” There was no reason to lie. “No, actually, not really.”

“Don’t you think you deserve better than that?”

I swallowed my chicken. “This is coming from the guy who
hired me at a brothel…”

I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth.

“Don’t say that, Charlie. I don’t care what you did in that mansion; you still deserve respect. I always gave you that.”

“I’m sorry, it’s the wine. My filter is gone.”

“Don’t apologize.” There was a light in his eyes and it spread to his lips. “I like this side of you, too….almost as much as the others.”

I didn’t want to think back to those evenings inside the mansion
where he saw those other sides, but I did. And I had…often. Since
Ryder had been living here, I couldn’t stop my brain from going
there— even more so now that I wasn’t being touched by Cameron. The only pleasure I was receiving was that from the tips of my fingers.

“Yes, that’s what you gave me.” I knew I was biting my lip. But I couldn’t release it…it was too tempting. “And more.”

“That mask may have hidden part of your face, but it didn’t hide any of your heart.”

My teeth released my lip and my mouth parted, but nothing came out. His words weren’t what I’d expected. My filter may have
been gone, but I was completely speechless. He
had
felt something
more from me. Was he still feeling it now? And did he mean it, or had my
pussy fooled him into thinking it was more than it had actually
been?

The answer should have been so obvious. But it wasn’t. I was staring at this man before me, a study in contrasts to his brother—the man I was making a life with—and I was secretly comparing the two of them. Not just their physical appearance, but the emotions that rested within their hearts. The one I hardly knew without a mask on was putting his feelings out there, giving me words I never thought
I’d hear, while the one I’d bared my soul to was running away from
me.

This was so completely fucked.

“My job is to read people when they’re silent, predicting their next move and whether it’s the truth or lies that are coming from their mouth. You can say whatever you want, Charlie, but I know you think about what happened between us.” He didn’t move closer,
though it felt like he had crossed the counter and was standing
directly in front of me, his hands running down my whole body. “We were too good together for you not to think about it.”

The intercom phone began to ring, which was the line that
connected our apartment to the front desk downstairs. I dragged myself away from the island and moved over to the wall, lifted the receiver and placed it against my ear. “Hello?” I said.

“Miss Charlie, it’s Larry from the front desk, we have a package
for you. It requires your signature. Would you like me to bring it up
or
”

“I’ll be right down,” I answered, and I hung up the phone. After pushing the button for the elevator, I turned around. There was a little confusion on Ryder’s face along with some fervor. “They have a
package for me downstairs. I…need to go.” I didn’t wait for his
response. I just stepped inside as the door opened and kept my head down.

Once I arrived in the lobby, Larry handed me the machine that required my electronic signature. I signed and exchanged it for the package, checking the name of the sender and the return address. I didn’t recognize either. The envelope was standard, the kind used to ship paperwork, but it didn’t feel like there was any paper inside. Whatever it was felt much thicker than that.

I thanked Larry and moved back into the elevator. As soon as it started rising, I heard a ringing come from inside the package. My pulse spiked, and my hands shook as I ripped off the glued-down lip
and reached in. The envelope contained only one item: a black flip
phone that didn’t have a screen on the front, which made it
impossible to check caller ID. But something told me I wouldn’t recognize the number, even if I had seen it.

It all led me to believe only one thing: they’d figured out my relationship with the Doctor.

They
…it was a term I had used so often with my father, since he wouldn’t list any of the mansion’s owners by name. But aside from Victoria, I couldn’t think of anyone else who would send me a phone in such a sinister manner. I had the feeling that if I ignored the call, they would find another way to contact me. I had to face whatever it was they wanted from me.