See (22 page)

All at once, I felt a warm sensation all around me, like someone was embracing me – holding me through this dark moment. My heartbeat slowed, and I found my breath - but even in the calm state I was in, I still couldn’t remember them there.

I took in a deep breath, then turned to the left and walked down the hall, looking at the paintings and portraits – looking for more lost memories. At the end of that hall, there were stone stairs; I climbed them, knowing the sound of his guitar was up there. It almost sounded like the music was saying ‘hold fast to the dream you think you never had’...I smiled, knowing I was probably right.

At the top of the stairs, I found a musician’s dream. There were more guitars and amps than I could count in one glance, three sets of drums, and one key board. There was a brown suede couch and chair angled in the center of the large oval room. A massive window was on the left side of this room, and Draven was in front of it, playing his guitar as he looked out. I walked softly up behind him. Over his shoulder, I could see my house. I could see the studio, the black leather couch, and the stand with all of the guitars. I tapped his shoulder; he looked back at me, almost as if he were expecting to see me standing there. I let a shy smile come across my lips as he finished the chord he was playing.

“
I must have left that light on,” I said, raising my eyebrows, prepared to judge his every word. I couldn’t understand why he – or anyone else - wouldn’t tell me what I’d forgotten… I mean, was it bad…or was I just a horrible person for forgetting?

As his eyes moved to the window, mine followed his; just as I looked, the light turned off.

“
Did you turn it off, too?” he asked quietly.

Heat burned through every part of my skin. I was starting to fear the answers I was seeking.

“
You haven’t shown me how to see what you see yet… so I’m gonna say Kara did,” I said, trying to look calm, wondering if he could see the effect he had on me.

He slowly moved the strap of his guitar from around him and set it down inside the stand under the window. His eyes never left me. He wasn’t looking at me; he was looking all around me. He furrowed his eyebrows.

“
What happened?” he asked in a scared, angry whisper.

I looked up at him and swallowed, not understanding how he could gauge my emotions so easily - or even why I always seemed to bring that negative emotion within him to life.

“
Nothing; just fighting my demons,” I said quietly.

As he slowly reached his hand for my face and cradled it with the palm of his hand, I felt the warm rush of energy that his skin always seemed to provide. He let his thumb trace over my cheekbone as he looked into my eyes. “I have to figure out how to make you stronger. I can see them at your doorstep.”

I took in a deep breath, not knowing if we were talking about the same thing or not. He let his hand fall from my face.

“
Hungry?” he asked.

“
You’re always trying to get me to eat,” I said in a teasing manner.

“
No, not at all. I just know we have about thirty seconds before Nana comes after us,” he said, winking at me.

“
Right. By the way, good call on the name – Annabelle didn’t work,” I said, trying to hold in a laugh.

His eyes seemed to grow sad. “She was eager to talk to you…did she get a chance to?” he asked in a voice just above a whisper as his eyes fell into mine.

“
Yeah…she told me I was gonna be alright…that I’d see like you,” I said as I tried to smile.

He gently reached his arms around me and pulled me to him. In the silent room, he swayed us back and forth. I breathed in the addictive aroma of his cologne and let myself pretend for a moment that my life could be this simple – that I could feel this calm all the time.

I leaned away before I found myself too far lost in that illusion. “I don’t wanna make Nana mad,” I said quietly as I urged him to lead me downstairs.

Downstairs, we found Aden and Nana in the kitchen. They’d set the food on the table in the little breakfast nook.

“
There they are,” Nana said, setting a plate of bread on the table. “I thought about eating in the dining room, but those chairs are just too far apart; this is cozy,” she said, reaching her arm out for me to come to her at the table.

Draven tightened his fingers around mine and didn’t let go until he pulled out my chair. Nana smiled and nodded at him as if to say good job. I looked back to see him blushing.

We ate in silence for a moment. Everything tasted so perfect. My mom’s housekeeper, Rosa, would cook for me, but it didn’t taste like this; it was like I could feel the love that went into the meal.

“
That sounded good,” Nana said, looking between Aden and Draven, referring to what they were playing before.

“
Ideas come from everywhere,” Draven said, looking to his side at me.

I just smiled.

“
Did either of you talk to your dad today?” Nana asked.

They both shook their head no.

“
Well, he landed safe. He wanted to know if either of you had said anything else about your set last night,” Nana said.

“
It was amazing – I told them they need a name,” I said boldly.

“
Oh, like ‘Anonymous’? That’s a good name, right, Nana?” Aden said, smiling at me.

“
It is, and it’s a good way to stay,” she said, raising her eyebrows as if to warn them. They both nodded as if to agree.

“
So you guys don’t have dreams to play all the big venues and sell millions of downloads?” I asked curiously.

Draven took his last bite of pasta and looked into my eyes. “Big dreams, but not those.”

“
Well, what are they?” I asked, looking around the table at them, wanting to find answers between their words.

I felt a tension rise and thought maybe I said something wrong.

Draven tried to smile behind the anger I could see in his captivating eyes. “We just wanna play our music, and if others can see what we’re saying, then that’s good; if not, then at least we played.”

I furrowed my eyebrows as I questioned the anger I saw in him. I felt like we’d had this discussion before and what he was saying was what I wanted - not what he wanted. I felt like I knew I was holding him back, and that broke my heart. The talent I’d seen in him couldn’t remain a secret – it was there for a divine purpose. I moved my head from side to side as grief filled my expression.

“
It’s hard to explain why I feel that way now without you seeing what I see,” he said, reaching his hand for mine.

“
Waiting on you,” I said quietly.

Aden pushed his empty bowl away and leaned forward on the table. He looked at Nana, then at me. “I didn’t realize we were already talking about that.”

“
Not clearly,” Draven whispered, holding my stare.

“
Well,” Nana said, looking at the thin air around me. “I’d stress that you find the words that are clear, Draven. I’ve never seen anything like this.”

I held my breath and lost all expression in my face; I was almost scared of her words. At that moment, thunder clapped in the air, and I jumped at the sound of it. Draven reached his arm around me, then looked at Nana and shook his head no.

“
It’s alright,” Aden said. His eyes held the sympathy I heard in his voice.

“
You’re fine,” Nana said, reaching across the table to pat my hand. “You’re right where you’ve always belonged,” she said as she got up.

I wanted to look up at Draven and judge his expression, but I was just too scared to. Thunder rumbled again, and I moved my chair closer to him before my mind could tell me to stop. Aden got up to help Nana clear away the table. I felt foolish just sitting there, so I got up and started to help, too. Once we had the kitchen cleaned, Nana stretched her arms.

“
Well, this old lady is going to bed,” she said.

She reached up and kissed both Draven and Aden on the cheek, then walked over to me and hugged me tightly. “I’ll see you soon.”

I nodded, not sure how seriously I should take the word ‘see’ anymore.

Once she left the room, I looked back at them. Aden was moving his hands against the counter like he was playing a mass of chords. “Well, do you wanna play some more, or would you rather I just disappear and leave you guys alone?” Aden asked, tilting his head and letting his eyes move between the two of us.

I wasn’t going to move; I didn’t want to give any hidden message in my body language. Draven studied my face for a second. “Let’s play; I tell you when to go,” he said, punching Aden in the arm.

“
That’s what I wanted to hear,” Aden said, grinning and walking out the door.

Draven put his arm around me. “Maybe you’ll be able to see my favorite audience,” he whispered.

Every part of me tensed. He let his hand slide down my arm and looped his fingers through mine. “To see… you’re gonna have to stop that; you’re blocking everything,” he said quietly, looking into my eyes for some kind of understanding.

“
I can’t help it; I don’t know why you do that to me, and it really makes me mad,” I said in the most confident tone I could manage.

He shook his head no. “You’re not mad, you’re scared; there’s a big difference,” he said, pulling me to follow him. I tried to let the tension leave me, but my heart just started to race.

A sudden urge to run came over me. I couldn’t comprehend it. I wanted to be at his side – to understand if I’d really lost memories, but at the same time I didn’t think I’d be able handle what I learned. I started to tell him I just wanted to go home - but as soon as I opened my mouth, I felt the warm sensation all around me, and a calm that couldn’t belong to me suddenly became mine. It was so numbing, I stopped. As Draven’s eyes looked all around me, he smiled confidently at something or someone I couldn’t see, then pulled me forward again. The sensation of calm stayed with me. By the time we’d reached their studio, I took ownership of it.

Aden was sitting behind a massive set of drums, twirling the sticks. I admit, I was excited to see him play; I don’t think I’ve ever been this close. I let go of Draven’s hand and settled on the couch to watch them play. Draven went to his guitar, and I could only stare as I watched the strap go across his back. I was still calm - almost too calm, but underneath that, I could feel a nervous anticipation of just being around him.

I listened carefully as they played and even let myself rock with the rhythm. As the music swarmed around me, the air seemed to electrify. It felt like the world was listening with me. Four straight songs later, Aden’s beat slowed to a whisper, then Draven’s guitar began to cry an almost silent note. He nodded for me to come to him. I can’t explain it, but I almost felt pushed to him. Not in a bad, suffocating way; more like someone was nudging me in the direction I needed to go.

I stood up slowly and stared into his eyes as I crossed the room. In that moment, the room was empty and silent… it was as if we were the only souls in this world. Once I reached his side, his guitar bellowed one final note, so hard that I felt it vibrate through me. His eyes slowly broke away from mine, and he looked to the window. I followed his stare and watched as the lights in my father’s studio turned on and off again twice. I stared calmly at the room as the light remained on. Even though the proof was right in front of me, I still couldn’t believe it - not out of fear that it was real, but out of fear that it wasn’t.

I looked back at him, still holding my calm expression.

“
Do you see anything else in this room?” he asked in a voice just above a whisper.

I moved my head slowly from side to side, holding his gaze. “I can’t see past you,” I whispered.

An innocent smile spread across his face. “Progress,” he whispered.

I looked back at Aden, but he wasn’t paying any attention to us; he was playing with his phone.

“
I’m sure this would be a good time for you to tell me to go – but Austin just texted me and said that he’s at the door and asked should he use that one or another one,” Aden said raising his eyebrows.

Draven’s eyes moved to me, then he quickly sat his guitar down and ran down the stairs.

I looked at Aden. “Should I go?” I asked, confused.

He shook his head no and blushed. “Draven just wanted to make sure he used the front door.”

I furrowed my eyebrows to question him, but he just looked down at his phone and started texting.

Thunder and lightning erupted all around the house; I jumped at the sound of it.

“
It’s getting too bad for you to drive anyways,” Aden said in a concerned tone, looking up at me.

I looked out the window and watched the trees fight the wind – I was terrified of what I’d face on my drive home. The shadows were furious with me for coming here, and I could only imagine what price I’d pay for staying this long.

“
Charlie,” Aden said quietly.

I jumped out of the thought I was in and looked at him. He stood slowly from behind his drums and walked to me. “Don’t worry about what’s outside – it can’t hurt you, and it knows that.”

I tried to smile and act like I knew what he was talking about, to pretend that I wasn’t fighting this war on my own, but it was clear that he could see the emptiness behind my expression.