See How She Falls (3 page)

“No,
I was doing what was easy. I was so confident that the gods would lay
everything right at my feet. My arrogance and naivety led me to believe all of
the answers would be easy. Yet, the gods had given me everything I needed to
fulfill my calling. They had shown all of us the truth, and instead of trusting
the gods, they put their faith in me. I led us all to destruction.”

“But
what happened? Are all seven of you still alive? What does it mean that this
was the beginning of your fall?”

“This
wasn’t the only time I made such a foolish decision. The men looked to me for
guidance and I led them astray more times than I can count. In my belief that I
knew exactly what my purpose was, I misdirected the men who trusted me. Now, we
are all cursed.”

“Aberto,
you’re still talking in riddles. I’m not closer to understanding any of this
than I was before.”

“We
should return, your Guardian may grow worried," Aberto said, taking my
hand in his and pulling us back from the vision.

“Oh,
you are so not out of the doghouse, mister. I want answers. Not riddles.
Answers.”  I was doing my best not to toss my cookies all over the office
rug.

“It
is not an easy thing for me to tell, Izzy. It has been thousands of years since
these events took place. The memories have been somewhat dissolved. I will do
my best to explain everything.”

“Okay,
so this is what I understand so far. You and these seven dudes were Guardians
and you screwed up?”  I wasn’t even sure they were Guardians to be honest.

“No,
we were more than Guardians. We were the original Guardians. The first of our
kind. We were sent from the heavens as ambassadors to protect this world from
the darkness that prowls just outside of this realm. We were sent with seven
Seers to help one another balance the outcome of the world. We were thrown into
this world like some sort of divine experiment.”  Aberto gritted his teeth
together in anger. “The Seers went mad before failing completely. The gods had
not predicted the overwhelming affect the visions, combined with other
abilities, might have on a human brain. Ultimately, through years of
experimentation, the gods formed a group of Seers that could resist the madness
and fulfill their duty. That is a story for another time. I told you, the memories
get a bit muddled. When the Seers fell, the seven of us were asked to fulfill
their duties as well. We failed.”

“How
so?”

“We
were unable to see clearly what the Seers might see. In my arrogance, I thought
I understood what the gods were saying and acted as though I had all of the
answers. Sadly, I was mistaken. I led my brothers straight to their
destruction. We failed more times than I can count to protect innocents from
events that were never meant to be. Finally, the gods grew angry with us. With
me. They cursed us to roam this realm until we pay penance for our misdeeds. I
am cursed to wander here until the gods feel I have restored the balance.”

“But
what is the curse? Is it that you can never die? Am I going to be immortal
now?”  I started to hyperventilate. I’d thought three hundred years was a
long time. It was nothing compared to an eternity.

“The
curse is simple. We are to guide Seers and Guardians. We must help them to
fulfill their purpose, yet we are never to interfere. We must guide others to
maintain the balance that we so miserably failed to control. So we walk between
planes, never truly belonging to either. We spend years in the fog sometimes,
not even realizing the time has passed. I have lost track of most of my
brothers. I know not if they have passed on; if they have been able to fulfill
their calling and restore balance enough to garner the gods’ forgiveness. I can
only speak for myself. I was lost in my own misery, lost in the fog for
centuries. You changed everything.”

“And
then you changed me.”  I sat heavily in the chair, unsure if I wanted to
hear more.

“Yes,
and then I changed you. I changed you, and I may very well have cursed you to
an existence like my own. You may wish me to regret my choice to save you, to
interfere when I was not meant to. I saw your future; you weren’t supposed to
die that day, Izzy. I will not now, nor shall I ever, regret the choices that
I’ve made where you are concerned.”  Aberto’s gaze rested on my face as
though he expected some sort of thanks for what he had done.

“So,
are all of you still around? I mean, the Old Ones. Are y’all just drifting
around in the fog waiting for some metaphysical bell to ring and bring you back
to this plane? More importantly, you never answered the immortal
question.” 

“I
don’t know about my brothers, where their fates have led them. All I know is of
my own existence. I am as eternal as the gods will me to be. I have no way of
knowing if this curse, this existence, will be your fate as well.”  His
face fell as he looked upon me. I knew that my chances weren’t looking all that
great.

“There
is something else I want to know.”  I hesitated, unsure I was really ready
to hear the answer. I breathed out just as he pulled a classic Aberto.

“Our
time is up for now, Izzy. I shall return when you need me.”  And just like
that he was gone. The son of a biscuit eating, question avoiding, pain in my
arse.

Chapter
Four

I
got up from the chair and stretched out my tense muscles. The stress of the
past months weighed heavy on me as I made my way toward the door and another
talk that couldn’t wait any longer. It was time that Kennan and I got to the
root of our problems. There was absolutely no way I could face whatever was
coming if I was constantly worried about where we stood. I needed him to be
normal again, or at least treat me the way he used to.

As
I rested my hand on the door knob, I inhaled slowly. This was something I
couldn’t avoid. I opened the door and stared out at my Guardian. He was sitting
against the wall staring down at his folded hands. His brow creased with worry
or anger, I wasn’t sure which.

“Kennan?”
my voice was barely above a whisper.

“Done
so soon?” his icy response chilled me.

“We
need to talk.”  I finally found my voice. I wouldn’t be treated like some
sort of wayward child for something that was so wholly out of my control.
“Now,"  I said, pointing to the interior of the office.

“I’m
not sure what there is to say, Izzy,"  He mumbled as he made his way
in.

“Well,
if you don’t have anything to say, you can just listen to me.”  I closed
the door and locked it before turning back toward Kennan. “Sit, this is going
to take a while.”  I motioned towards the chair with my head.

“Fine,
I’m sitting. What do you want to talk about?” Kennan threw himself into the
chair looking at me defiantly the whole way down.

“Really,
Kennan? What do I want to talk about? I want to talk about us. I want to know
what in the Hades is going on between us. Besides the obvious stuff, the
unfixable stuff, something has shifted. Do you not want to be with me anymore?”
My eyes brimmed with tears I refused to shed.

“Of
course I want to be with you. Don’t be ridiculous. It’s just…," Kennan
trailed off.

“What,
Kennan? I’ve been going crazy these past two months. With everything going on,
the one thing that was my constant was always you. Until lately, that is. So,
please, just tell me. We can’t keep going on like this. I can’t keep having to
worry that I’m doing something wrong.”

“It’s
just, him. He is always there. He just pops in whenever he feels like you need
something and you never once turn him away. But that isn’t all, Izzy. I’m
starting to wonder if you would rather have this life than the one we had back
at the farmhouse. I feel like I’m losing you - losing us.”

“I
would rather have this life? Really, Kennan?” I could barely keep the anger and
hurt from my tone. My chest felt heavy. I couldn’t understand it, how could he
be so completely wrong? I choked back a sob as I continued, trying to get every
word out around my uncontrollable tears. “You think that I would rather be
here, getting branded by some invisible force? I didn’t choose this life,
Kennan. I don’t know if you remember this past year all that well, but at no
point did I say, 'Gee, saving the world sounds like a terrific new hobby.' 
I don’t want this anymore than you do, but this is where we are. I refuse to
let more people get hurt just so that I can be selfish. If you ever knew me at
all, you would know that.”

“Of
course I know you, Izzy!” Kennan shouted, raising from his seat. “I just feel
like you took all of this on without any thought to what you were giving up.”

“Every
second of every day, I think about what that life would’ve been like. So don’t
accuse me of not missing it, of not knowing what I’ve lost.” Sobs racked my
body as I let everything I’d held back for the past months pour from my mouth.
“I miss it. I miss waking up to you in the farmhouse, of feeling safe and
blocked out from the world. I miss us. But there is absolutely no way I could
ever live with myself if I chose that life when it means letting so many other
people suffer.” I folded my arms around my stomach, trying to keep the gaping
chasm from ripping any wider. I missed Kennan. I missed our old life, but I
knew that it was gone.

Kennan
moved toward me wrapping his arms around me. “I’m sorry. I just didn’t think I
would ever have to give you up. I never imagined you would be the girl from the
prophecy, Izzy. I’ve just felt like you’ve been plowing forward and leaving me
behind with your old life, as if you don’t need me anymore.”

“Don’t
need you? Have you lost your damn mind, Kennan O’Malley? I will always need
you. Always.” I wrapped my arms tightly around him, trying to hold on to the
only anchor I had in this chaotic world.

“What
about him? It seems like you need him more.”

“Seriously?”
I pushed away from him, anger replacing the hurt that had just been there. His
jaw clenched as he stared back, unmoving.

“Yes,
seriously.”

“First,
you should be nicer to him. I wouldn’t even be here if he hadn’t saved me.”

“You
wouldn’t have died if he had taken better care of you. I think he did it
intentionally, Izzy.”

“You
think that he let me die so that he could change me? That is the most absurd
thing I’ve ever heard, and I’ve heard quite a few whakadoo things this past
year. He saved me, Kennan. And like it or not, that means that part of me is
changing. If I want to understand what is happening to me, I have to understand
him better. To understand him better, he has to be around. Would you rather my
eyes light up unexpectedly in front of the Council?” My anger began coursing
through me in discernable waves, traveling down my arms in rapid succession and
ceasing at my fingertips.

“Umm,
Izzy, maybe you should take a deep breath.” Kennan’s voice was on edge as he
slowly backed away from me.

I
looked down at my arms to find little flickers of electricity tracing down them
only to culminate at a spark at my fingertips. That explained the wave feeling.
Son of a butternut squash.

“Seriously,
lightning when I get angry!”  I shouted at the ceiling. “I’m going to kill
him myself. How the hell am I supposed to hide this?” The angrier I got, the
more sparks seemed to fly.

“Maybe
try not to think about it right now, Izzy. Go to your happy place.” Kennan
said, half teasing.

I
tried to take deep, calming breaths to get myself centered again, the way Ian
had been trying to teach me. I’d always been an overly emotional person; up
until now it hadn’t been a problem. Unfortunately, a tricky little side effect
of this new “change” that was happening was that any time my emotional state
became unbalanced a fun new ability would pop up. Breathing in slowly, I
mentally wiped away the anger as if it were written on a dry-erase board. The
sparks finally quit coursing down my arms.

“I
can’t do this without you," I breathed out, almost near tears once more.
“You’re what I need to survive this, Kennan. Without you, I can’t make it.” I
could feel the anger leave my body, only to be replaced by a gut wrenching
sadness.

“You
don’t have to, Izzy. I know I’ve been acting crazy lately, but I feel like I’ve
been playing catch up since we got here. I just need some time to adjust. Just
don’t expect me to ever like Aberto. He is up to something where you are
concerned and I don’t trust him.”

“Do
you trust me?” 

“Of
course I do.” Kennan leveled me with his eyes.

“Then
listen to me when I say that not in a million years could anything ever tear me
from you. You are my home, Kennan. You are my shelter from this raging storm.
Nothing, and I mean nothing, will ever change the way I feel for you. Even
should I live to be as old as Aberto, which now seems possible, I will always
love you more than I could ever love anyone. You are my other half, the part of
my soul that has always been missing.” As the last words left my mouth an image
of Aberto danced through my mind. I brushed it to the side, refusing to
acknowledge that I literally had his soul inside of mine at the moment. This
was a figurative ideal, not literal. Yep, that was my story and I was sticking
to it.