Seeing Clearly (15 page)

Chapter 19

Gretchen

"I can't go with you to play pool," I told Rachel on our way to the exit. "I have to get rest before work, or I suck at acting."

"I didn't think any of you would be into it on a Tuesday night anyway. I just wanted to order a beer at a bar."

"I'm in," Zack said. "We can't have the girl ordering her first beer without an audience to appreciate it."

"I'm in too," Bailey chimed. "My boss is totally cool and won't care if I'm five minutes late." She looked at Rachel with a smirk.

"Yes she would," Collin said, knowing Rachel didn't mess around when it came to the office.

"You're right," Bailey agreed, "but I can shoot a game of pool and still be at work on time."

Seeing their plans form in front of my eyes, I did the only logical thing and asked Joel for a ride. "Think you could give me a ride to Rachel's to get my car? I hate to ask Collin to do it since they're all going to the same place now."

The corner of Joel's mouth rose in a slow grin. "Yeah," he said, "I think I already offered that. Glad you're coming around to
my
way of thinking."

I practically stuttered as I said, "I just need a ride to my car, and I thought you meant… never mind."

"I'm just playing with you," he said. He was still smiling as he put an arm around my shoulder. "I want to give you a ride to your car." He looked up at the foursome, now headed for a game of pool. "I'd love to give her a ride to her car," he said. "You guys enjoy your game. Happy birthday Rachel… have fun flashing that card."

He gave her a wink, and turned me by the shoulder in the direction of his car. "How'd I get so lucky, Miss McKay?" he asked when we were out of earshot of the rest of the group.

I didn't know what to make of his confidence.
Does he think he's getting some tonight just because I needed a ride to my car? Can he see right through me and tell I want him too? How many one-night stands can I take? I bet I can handle one more.

"You don't think you're getting lucky tonight, do you?"
I asked. I sort of wished he'd say yes.

He laughed at me. "God, Gretchen,
no
, I don't think I'm getting
lucky
tonight. You made damn sure I knew I wasn't. I was just saying I was glad to be giving you a ride."

I looked over at him shyly, a little embarrassed about jumping to the wrong conclusion. We'd almost reached his car. I could see the taillights of the old Camaro. "Looks like I'm the lucky one," I said, trying for a fresh start. "I didn't know you drove the Camaro. I would have agreed to a ride from the start if I'd known
that
."

He used the key to unlock the passenger's door, then opened it and gestured for me to get in. "Well, you can count on me driving the Camaro from here on out if it makes you want to ask for a ride."

It took us thirty minutes to get from the Staples Center to Rachel's apartment. We talked the entire time, mostly about Christmas and what he could expect out of my family. He told me a little bit about his childhood, or lack of one. He had a really rough start in the world. I was amazed by how many odds he had to overcome to be where he was today. I truly respected him as a man, which only added to my attraction.

I was sitting in the middle of the bench seat, close to him but not quite close enough for our legs to touch. I knew we weren't far from Rachel's, and I found myself unable to control the urge to let my thigh brush against his. He flinched at the contact, probably because I'd been so careful to keep my distance since we'd left the game. I pulled back when he flinched, thinking I'd made a mistake in allowing the contact. He didn't say a thing; he just took his hand off the steering wheel and put it on my thigh. He pulled me across the three inches of bench seat until my leg was touching his again, then he casually put his hand back on the wheel.

I could feel the muscles of his legs and the warmth of them even through the layers of fabric between us. I couldn't help myself. I wanted to touch him. I put my hand on his thigh and when I did, his chest rose with an irregular breath.

When we reached Rachel's place, Joel pulled into the parking spot beside my car. He turned the key to
shut off the ignition. He looked over at me. Even in the near darkness, his green eyes took my breath away.

"I'd like you to kiss me if you're okay with stopping at that," I said. I knew it was a silly thing to ask since he'd already experienced everything I had to offer. My mom would say, "Why pay for the cow when you can get the milk for free?"

"I get to drive you to your car
and
kiss you?" he asked. 

I groaned. "Go ahead and make fun of me. I just wanted a kiss, and I—"

"Shhhh," he said. He put a hand on my chin and tilted my face up to meet his. "I'm going to kiss you now." The feel of his breath on my lips made me feel like my lungs couldn't get quite enough oxygen. I experienced that same stab of raw excitement in my gut. All this and he hadn't even put his lips to mine yet. "I love it when you're nervous," he whispered. The words came out in little, soft puffs of air on my lips, making me both nervous and crazy with desire.

I let my eye
s roam over his face. We were in a dark part of the parking lot, but there was still enough light in the car for me to make out his gorgeous features. I let out a weak little laugh at myself. I simply couldn't resist this man. He smelled like sandalwood and clean laundry, and I felt entirely too vulnerable alone with him. The impeccable, classic automobile I found myself sitting in only made him more irresistible. In fact, I was just about ready to throw my "no sleeping together" idea right out the window.

His mouth met mine in a painfully gentle kiss. I wanted it to deepen, and I could tell by his breathing he did too, but we both controlled our urges. The kiss continued… Joel put little, teasing kisses on my lips and cheek. He picked up my chin, and put feather light kisses on my neck. He drew in a breath through his nose. Without warning, he stopped kissing me and pulled back. "Can I follow you home to make sure you get there okay?" he asked. I was only a little hurt that he stopped the kiss, but I ha
d only myself to blame since I was the one who set the limits tonight. Joel certainly wasn't hiding the fact that he wanted me.

"Are you stopping because I asked you to—"

"Yes," he interrupted.

"You're right. It's probably best we stop," I said. "I was starting to forget what I said about not going there tonight."

Joel slapped a hand to his forehead in pretend frustration. "That's what I get for being a gentleman," he said. "If I'd known you were forgetting, I wouldn't have stopped."

"Yes you would have," I said. "You'd never take advantage of me."

"I'd rather not test that theory, if you don't mind. I may not be able to answer for my actions after I get a taste."

I gave him an indignant stare, full of challenge. "Is that a threat?"

He smiled. "You have no idea."

"What do you mean,
no idea
? Are you saying you'd
take advantage
of me right here in the car if I kissed you for too long?"

"I'm saying let's not test it." He lowered his head to once again put a kiss on my lips. I kissed him back.
It was sweet and solid, but the contact was brief. I could tell he'd resolved to part ways for the night.

"Do you want to come with me to see my adopted families tomorrow?" I asked. The blank look on his face let me know he needed further explanation. "It's Wednesday. I'm going to see my families in South Central.
"

"And I get to go?" he asked. He stalled for a few long seconds, and I just sat there in silence not even trying to figure out what he was thinking. "I'd like that a lot," he said, smiling.
"Is there anything I need to know? Anything I need to bring?"

"No, I'll text you with the address of the place we meet. You can just ride with us in the Mitsubishi. It's glamorous."

"I can't wait." He said. He climbed out of his car before offering me a hand. I was closer to the driver's side door, so I just scooted under the steering wheel. I gave him my hand and he pulled me to my feet. I was pressed against his hard body for several seconds before I was steady on my feet. We seemed to have an unspoken agreement not to draw out the goodbye any longer, so I just kissed him on the cheek and started fishing around my purse for my keys. He walked me to my car where he asked for the second time if he could follow me home.

"I drive these streets alone all the time. I'm fine." That reminded me of something that came up earlier tonight, and out of curiosity and a little jealousy too, I asked, "And, what's the big deal about
Emily
living on her own at nineteen? I'm only a couple years older than her, and I'm alone."

"Don't remind me, Gretchen. I don’t even want to think about all the danger you put yourself in. I'm already ate up enough as it is. The last thing I need is to start
worrying
about you."

I didn’t even ask him what he meant when he said he was ate up. I assumed it meant he thought about me, and to be honest, I didn't mind the idea one bit… at least
I
wasn't the only one who was "ate up".

****

The next night, Joel met us at the mall entrance where we always parked our cars. He was dropped off by a driver, but seemed a little embarrassed, saying he'd been picked up for a meeting with some optical society and hadn't had time to go back to his office to get his car. This meant he'd be riding with me once we got back to the mall. I smiled at the thought.

"We're all here. Let's roll," Carlos said, once Joel emerged from the
mall. His meeting had run over, so he hadn't had time to change clothes, but he'd managed a small transformation during his brief visit to the men's room. He had taken off his tie and unbuttoned the top button of his dress shirt he also unbuttoned the sleeves and rolled them up a little. He must have run a hand through his hair because the waves were loose, falling over his forehead.  Crossing the parking lot to meet us, he handed me his tie and asked me to stash it in my car so he didn't have to carry it.

"Where's Taylor?" I asked as I got in the backseat of Carlos's car.

"She had to have a tooth pulled today," he said. "She had to text me to tell me because she couldn't even talk."

"Ohh, man. You think she needs us to do anything for her?" I asked.

"No, her mom is helping her out. She said she'll be back after the holidays."

"She's missing soul food," I said, thinking about the possible menu options for tonight's meal.

"I know, I thought about bringing her a plate, but I think she's gotta lay off the solid foods for a few days. It'd just be torture sitting in her fridge."

We didn't eat dinner in South Central every Wednesday night, not even close. But they always told us when they'd be cooking so we'd be sure to come hungry. It was just coincidence that Angel cooked last week and the Sims wanted to cook tonight. I thought it probably had something to do with it being the holidays. Neither family really had the money to be feeding four grown adults on a regular basis, so usually we just hung out and played with the kids, talking about school and helping them get their homework done. This time of year, however, they insisted on feeding us more weeks than not, and we never refused since the food was always amazing.

I knew Joel would be welcomed with open arms so I didn't feel bad about surprising Mrs. Sims with his presence. They would treat him like family with no questions asked. At least I hoped there would be no questions asked. If questions
were
asked, I wasn't quite sure how I would answer them. So far, there had been no awkward moments whatsoever. Carlos remembered Joel from the day when he pulled us over. He just assumed we were dating each other and behaved as if it were no big deal. For some reason, I had a much harder time with comprehending that it could be
no big deal
. Things were so much more complicated than Carlos (or anybody else) realized. I wished they weren't, but I was powerless to make them any simpler.

"Ooooh, honey! Who's that tall dark and handsome you brought witchu tonight?" Tonia Sims was taking off her apron and running fingers through her hair. "You have to tell me when you're bringing someone who looks like
that
in my house," she said. She used the apron to dab the sweat from her brow. "I'm happily married, but a girl's gotta fuss over herself a little when that kinda guy comes over." Her eyes got big as she pointed in the direction of the front door. Joel had only gone out the front door with Trey a few seconds ago, but Tonia had set off talking about him as soon as the door closed.

"Thanks
a lot
, Tonia," Carlos said as he popped a cracker in his mouth. "What am I? Chop liver?"

"Honey quit playing, you know you're gorgeous. Mama's just gotta make a good first impression." Even though she didn't have a mirror, Tonia went to work fixing the bun she wore at the nape of her neck. She was a big lady, but her size didn't detract from her beauty in the least. She was beautiful, and her family was too. She and Trey have three boys. Little Trey is fourteen and almost as tall as his daddy, Chris is twelve, and Cody is eight. They're all such loving boys. You can't walk past them without a hug or a fist bump.