Sekhmet's Curse (Pearl Vampire Chronicles) (6 page)

“It’ll be like that for a while hun.  That’s why it’s so hard to stop once you start,” Matt said.

“And why, for some, it’s impossible to stop completely,” Carlos whispered.  Matt and I both looked at him.  “Look, Matt.  You need to be honest with her.  Tell her the truth.  She deserves to know.”

“Matt?  What the hell is he talking about?  Tell me the truth about what?
What haven’t you told me?”
I said as fear began to grip my heart.

Matt squeezed his eyes shut and I saw the pain written all over his face. I leaned back into Carlos, trying to draw strength from him, strength that my instincts told me
that
I needed
in order
to hear what I
was about to hear.  He rested his chin on the top of my head and wrapped his arms around me.  Matt opened his eyes, took both my hands in his, and began, “Honey, I’m so sorry I lied to you.  But I loved you so much and wanted you with me so bad that I just couldn’t stop myself.  I only hope
that
you can forgive me.”

Chapter Two

             
I could only stare at both of them for a while.  My heart was pounding.  Matt?  Had lied to me about something?  That was so far beyond my realm of believable possibilities that my brain couldn’t capture it.  I was stunned.  “No,” I mumbled.

“No?” Matt gasped, thinking
that
I was telling him that I couldn’t forgive him. 

“No you didn’t lie to me.  It’s not possible.”

Matt visibly exhaled, “Yes I did, Sarah.  And I’m so sorry.”

“About what, Matt?
  What did you fucking lie about?” I hissed as my anger bubbled to the surface.

“You should have told her before, man.  She still would have said yes,” Carlos said

“Are you certain of that?” Matt snapped at Carlos.

Carlos looked into my eyes and gently placed his hand on my cheek, “For you she would have done anything, Matt.”

This was definitely not something I was ready to hear right now.  I pushed Carlos’ hand away and jumped to the ground, leaving them stunned and alone on the
roof.  I heard them land on the grass as I pulled the door open and dashed down the hall toward the kitchen.  I needed to feed.  I pulled as many pints out the fridge that I could grab and tossed them in the microwave.  I saw them standing in the doorway as I pulled them out and let them flop to the table.  “These are all for me.  You need to get your own,” I mumbled, embarrassed that I was so damn hungry.   Matt came and sat across the table from me while Carlos went to the fridge.  As the microwave whirred to life again, Matt began telling me the truth.  “I, I, shit, I lied when I said that it was possible for us to survive without hunting, ever.  It doesn’t exactly work that way.”

I dropped my head and squeezed my eyes shut, “How exactly does it work, then, Matt?” I softly said, trying to control my anger.

“Well, it’s just, I mean for some it does, but for most, well,” he began, but I had no patience anymore for hesitations.  My head whipped up and they both gasped when they saw my eyes were changed and my fangs were down, “You fucking tell me right now or I’ll beat the shit out of you Matthew Pearl.  Do you
understand me?”  I hissed.

I felt Carlos’ hand rest on my arm, “Calm down, honey,” he whispered.  My glare slowly turned to him, “I’ll take you on too, if someone doesn’t
come
clean right fucking now,” I hissed. 

Carlos
grinned
his goofy grin, “I’d love to see you try sweetheart.  Now calm down and let the man speak.”

My gaze turned back to Matt and I waited.  “None of us can go forever without hunting.  It’s true that some can go, ummm, years without hunting.  But those are vampires who, well, who weren’t very passionate as people.  The more passionate you were as a
huma
n, the stronger the need to hunt as a vampire
is
.  And the older you get as a vampire, the stronger that hunger becomes.
No one really knows why, it’s just how it is.
”

“And our first night together in the hotel room didn’t give you a clue that I was a teensy bit passionate, did it?  You should have told me before you changed me, you fucking prick.”

“Would you still have come with me, Sarah?  Would you still have gone through the change?”

“Yes.”

“Really?
  Honestly?  If you knew that killing people was part of the deal
, you still would have said yes
?”

“Yes.  No.  Shit I don’t know.   But you should have given me the choice, Matt,” I
said as I angrily
stood up to walk out but
I
stopped to slap Carlos
hard
on the arm, “And you.  I’m more pissed at you right now than him
,
”
I spat as my finger pointed to Matt.

“Me?  Why me?” he said as he rubbed his arm.

“Because you were always honest with m
e
,
f
rom the very start
,
y
ou were there for me and you were honest with me.  Even if he couldn’t tell me, you should have.” 

I turned and stormed out of the kitchen.  I wanted to be pissed and I wanted to be alone.  But what I saw when I walked into our room was so unexpectedly sweet and beautiful, that I had a hard time holding on to the anger.  I just stopped and stared.  Stared at where the wall used to be that separated our room from Carlos’ room.  Now we shared a common, gigantic living room, a place that would allow me to easily move between the two, as we continued to work out how to have our perfect triangle.
  This was the first time that we had been home since Matt had
accepted the fact that I was also in love with Carlos and suggested that Carlos and I get married too. I had been so busy and distracted since then that it hadn’t occurred to me how we would deal with it in our everyday lives at home.  My heart swelled with love as I realized that they had thought of it for me.
  I fell to my knees and sobbed.

“This was supposed to make you happy, Sarah,” Carlos said from behind me.

“This was your idea?” I said.

“No, actually it was Matt’s.  He suggested a door.  But I said, why a door?  If we’re going to be completely open about this, then why hide behind doors?  I mean, we still have privacy in our bedrooms when we need it, but the rest of the time there’s no reason to hide, is there?”

I sighed and held my hands up in the air.  They both walked over, clasped their hands in mine and I pulled them down to the floor with me.  We sat in total silence for a few minutes, until I finally had the courage to ask the one question that I was afraid to ask, “How often
, Matt
?
  How often will I have to hunt?
”

“I don’t know, Sarah.  Anyone else with your passion, I’d say once a month or so, easy.  But you’re different.  You’re so strong that I wouldn’t be surprised if you were able to suppress it for a long time
:
  Months, maybe even years.”

“And this hunger, it’s only going to get worse?  It’s only going to get stronger?”

“Yes.”

“Why haven’t I noticed it before now?”

“Probably because we haven’t had to hunt except for that one
time
,
a
nd probably because our lives have been so hectic and chaotic.  You just never had time to notice.”

“You should have told me, Matt.”

“I know.  And I’m sorry.”

“You should have told me, but I’m glad you didn’t
,
 
b
ecause
I probably wouldn’t have had the guts to go through with the change.  And I’m so happy with my life now.  I never would have had this.  I never would have had both of you.  So thank you for lying to me, but don
’
t you ever fucking do it again.”

“Are you kidding? 
Never would have had both of us?
As horny as you were as a human?
  You would
have had both of us, eventually,” Carlos grinned.

“Oh shut up,” I smiled.  He still always knew how to make me smile.  I stood up, “Let’s go to bed.  I’m exhausted.”  I started heading toward the bedroom, but stopped when Carlos pulled back on my hand.  He wasn’t moving.  But I refused to let go of his hand.  “Hun, I’m going to sleep in my own bed tonight, okay?” he whispered.

“What?  No.  No, that’s not okay.  Not tonight.  Not yet,” I said.

“Sarah.  This is how it has to be when we’re here.  You know that.  We have to get used to that.  Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.  And you know where to find me if you need me.”  I completely missed the look that passed between Matt and Carlos when he said this.  But they seemed to know that I was going to have problems and
that
I would be
needing
one, or both, or them during the night. 

“But, but, but what if I’m not
?  Why does it have to be like this?  Why can’t we just sleep in the same bed?
”
I said, knowing it was a ridiculous questions but I had to ask it anyways.  Carlos cleared his throat then imitated our voices, “’Good night, Sarah, good
night, Matt, good night, Carlos…
snore.snore
, sleep, sleep, middle of the night hard on, um, excuse me Matt but could you go out in the hall for a bit while I bang my wife? Sure, no problem, Carlos,’ Sarah, you know that this isn’t that kind of arrangement.  I think we all agree that this feels like two separate marriages that just happen to be with the same woman.  I’ve had three-somes before, many times
, but to do that with this feels like it would, I don’t know, disrespect what this is.  You’ll come to me when you need me, I’ll come to you when I need you.  Where you lay your head tonight to fall asleep won’t change that.”

I
knew he was right but I still opened my mouth to protest again
, but Carlos cradled my face in his hands and kissed me.  Long and passionate and filled with love was what this kiss was.  It warmed me.  It filled me up.  It gave me strength.  When he finally pulled away, I knew
deep in my heart that
he was right.  “Sleep well, my love,” he whispered.  I nodded and tried to smile, but my heart was breaking inside.  “I love you,” I whispered as he turned and walked into his room.  Matt wrapped his arms tight around me to comfort me.  I turned, walked into the bedroom and
sat on the edge of the bed.  I tried not to show it, but I was lost right now.  “It’s not supposed to be me,” I whispered.  Matt sat next to me on the bed and silently waited.  I fell back, with my hand over my eyes.  “It’s not supposed to be me that can’t handle this.  It’s supposed to be one of you.  But I don’t feel complete unless you’re both with me.  I feel broken.  I don’t know if I can do this Matt.”

He leaned back on one elbow and gently pulled my hand from my eyes.  He smiled and traced his finger down my cheek.  “Of course you can, Sarah.  The way you’re feeling right now, the hurt you’re feeling, is the very reason why this will work.  Neither of us will ever lack for anything from you.  Neither of us will ever feel un-loved.  Neither of us will need anything more
,
b
ecause you love us
both
completely.  Because you make us complete,” then he leaned down and began kissing me.  Filling me with every ounce of love he had, and then some.  He gave me his love.  He gave me his strength.  And he gave me exactly what I needed: a distraction.  Before long, this was no longer a loving
kiss
,
t
his was a hungry kiss
, a passionate kiss
.  One that ignited the fire in
me and instantly
had
me realiz
ing
how long it had been since we had been together.  I growled and pushed him onto his back and quickly threw off my clothes.  I pounced before he had time to finish undressing, and he laughed at my impatience.
I straddled him, kissing his lips, face, chin, neck, as my nails dug into his chest and his hands and hips worked at getting his pants off.  When I finally felt his hard length spring free and slap my backside, I couldn’t wait anymore. My thighs lifted my body just high enough to feel him brush against my wet folds and then slid myself down into heaven.
 

A few hours later, as I lay in his arms dozing after
he had sent me soaring over the edge more times than I could remember
, I mumbled, “I don’t feel quite so hungry right now.”

“I know.  That was the plan.  It’s possible to turn the hunger for blood into hunger for something else
, at least
for a while.”

“Really?
  Well, then by all means, please do that
, a
lot
,
t
ons,” I whispered
.

“As you wish, my love,” he said as he pressed a gentle kiss to my cheek
and
I
quickly
drifted off to
sleep.