Seth's Broadway Diary, Volume 1: Part 1 (14 page)

At Sirius, I interviewed Donna Murphy. She's so fun and, FYI, her hair looked amazing. I must find out what deep conditioner she uses. She talked about her first Broadway disappointment.
Hair
was revived in the late ‘70s, and Donna auditioned because one of the understudies was leaving. They said they loved her, and she'd be hearing from them. Well, she was at NYU, and this was before cell phones. And, apparently, before room phones. She gave them the number to her dorm and waited anxiously for their call. She said she harassed the guy who ran the phone constantly to see if they called. They never did, and she was
devastated
. It wasn't until way later when she told someone the story that she found out that
Hair
closed right after her audition!

Her first Broadway show was
They're Playing Our Song
, and for her audition she sang that classic song "This World" from
The Me Nobody Knows
. Anybody? Actually, I know it because my sister did that show when she was in high school. There's nothing like seeing a 99% Jewish high school sing songs of kids in the 'hood. I recall a lot of "torn" jeans and boys wearing base.

We talked about her playing Fosca in the
Passion
workshop and how she worked all the time to create the character. It was great for the audience, but she said her husband was like "Honey, it's a reading. I don't want to have breakfast with Fosca. She's a downer!"

I brought up her absences in
Wonderful Town
because I wasn't sure if everyone knew what really happened. She said that she was backstage right before "One Hundred Easy Ways," and she coughed to clear her throat and wound up hemorrhaging a vocal cord! Her doctor said that she'd need
months
off from singing, but she didn't want to quit the show. She had waited so long to do it since she first did it at Encores! Finally, another doctor said that if she had a week of silence, she could heal it, so she didn't speak for a week and went back. Of course, it was preview time, so there were non-stop early morning publicity events, the recording, and finally opening night. Sadly, because her chord wasn't totally healed, it got damaged again.

She said that this went on repeatedly: she'd come back to do the show, but the damage never got a chance to heal. For some reason, she made a deal with the producers to not discuss what was going on in public until way after the show closed! I still don't understand why, but unfortunately it led to a lot of dishy talk about her. She said she didn't care if people thought that she totally lost her voice, but she was devastated that they thought she didn't care about her fellow cast members or the audience. And the horrible part was that she wasn’t allowed to reveal what was going on! Anyhoo, she's fine now and has a delish part in the new film,
The Nanny Diaries
.
And, years later, her great part in TANGLED!

Okay, I'm off to bed early 'cause tomorrow is more rehearsal. The "good" news, I not only wear a skimpy towel, but Joe Mantello informed me that Act Two will feature me in a unitard. Why?! What's happening? Am I being Punk'd? I do
not
look attractive in a unitard. I'm the only person who's going to have his debut on Broadway and immediately follow it with his boyfriend breaking up with him. Here I come, Equity
Match.com
.

Xanadu
and
Zanna, Don't!

September 4, 2007

This week I finally started rehearsing my part in
The Ritz
.
If you’re like my mother, you're thinking, "Why do you need to rehearse for two lines?" (direct quote, 8/25/07). But besides my two sentences, I have a variety of things to do throughout the show, so, stop being mean, Mom, et al.

First of all, Monday was our full cast "meet and greet." We had our official Equity meeting where we took a vote about whether lunch should be an hour or an hour and a half. Why? Who needs that much time? Is that for people who want to rehearse in the morning then quickly pop over to the Hamptons for a seafood salad? Is there any evidence of a company
ever
voting for an hour-and-a-half lunch? Is it a holdover from when the company of the original
Romeo and Juliet
needed time to saddle up their horses and ride over to Bristol for the lunch special? Was there even Equity in Shakespearean days? Ye olde Equiteye?

Then we walked around and investigated our dressing room assignments. For those who have been chomping at the bit, yes, I am sharing a dressing room with former porn star Ryan Idol. I'm sure I won't feel inadequate on every level.

The most amazing thing is that we're actually rehearsing on the set!
The Ritz
is a farce, and if we tried to rehearse it in a studio, it would just be all of us trying to stay within the lines of a floor covered in different colored tape that somehow represented a multitude of doors and three different levels. Every two minutes would be the stage manager interrupting with "Rosie, the yellow tape is the second floor and the green is the top level, so stay on the blue," or "Brooks, you just walked through a wall."

Anyhoo, our sassy director, Joe Mantello, pleaded his case, and Scott Pask, our fabulous set designer, built an amazing multi-leveled set that we're having the best time gallivanting on!

The cast is super nice, and everyone shares the same anxiety about having to wear a towel onstage. Except for, it seems, Ryan Idol, who donned his towel for all of Saturday's rehearsal. Suffice it to say, there was much distraction amongst certain male members of the cast, and I briefly had no memory of what my two lines were.

Speaking of distraction, this week I had a
Chatterbox
with
Xanadu
's Cheyenne Jackson. He was born in Idaho and after he graduated high school, he decided he needed to move to the big city. He therefore hightailed it to New York City. Oh, I'm sorry. I mean, he moved to Spokane, Washington because it had
two
gay bars.

He eventually moved to Seattle and did a show with Marc Kudisch where he was Marc’s understudy. Marc told him that if he ever moved to New York, he would set up a meeting with his agent. Cheyenne moved, and Marc's agent signed him! His first audition was for
Thoroughly Modern Millie
. He said it was his best audition ever because he didn’t know what was at stake. No one knew who he was, so there was no expectation in any way. He got called back and had to tap, which he doesn’t do. So, he just "sold it" upper-body wise and promised Rob Ashford (the choreographer) that if he got the part, he’d learn how to tap. They brought him in for a final audition on the stage of the Marquis where
Millie
was playing. After he sang and read again, director Michael Mayer walked up to him with the creative staff and said, "Well, this is a story for
Broadway.com
. A small-town boy moves to New York, has his first audition and books the job. Cheyenne, you’re coming to Broadway!" (Note to Michael Mayer, I guess it's also a story for
Playbill.com
.) Cheyenne started crying, and they all hugged. Then, as Cheyenne was leaving the theatre, he ran into Kudisch backstage. Kudisch was playing Trevor Graydon and didn’t even know Cheyenne was auditioning.

KUDISCH: Cheyenne! What are you doing here?


CHEYENNE: (Crying) I'm your new understudy!


KUDISCH: (Crying)


ME WRITING THIS: (Crying)

Cheyenne also said that, even though he loved doing the workshop of
Xanadu
, he didn’t want to do it on Broadway because it would conflict with a film he wanted to do and because Jane Krakowski wasn't doing it. She played Clio/Kira opposite him in the workshop, and he couldn’t imagine anyone else playing the part. He was devastated saying no, but he also told his partner that he felt it would come back to him. So he wound up filming his next movie and then, a
week
before the Broadway opening, director Chris Ashley called him late at night and told him that James Carpinello broke his leg, and they were supposed to open in a week. Cheyenne still didn't feel comfortable doing it with another Kira, so he went to see it. He saw Kerry Butler and thought she was totally different from Jane, but amazing! He immediately said yes and relearned the part and all the changes that had been made since the workshop. He ran through the show on Thursday because he was supposed to start the next day, but after the run-through, the creative staff asked him if would go on that night because they knew that the Friday audience would be full of internet posters, and they wanted to give him a performance that wouldn’t be immediately followed by CarpinellloLover45 posting "Just Back from
Xanadu…
" on
AllThatDish.com
.

Right now, I am writing this from beautiful Salem, CT. Dev Janki —the award-winning director-choreographer of the brilliant
Zanna, Don't
— has a family-owned house that he rents every summer that can literally sleep 30 people. It’s not a mansion — it’s more like bungalows, and he's been having these retreats for his friends since 2001.

Going to Dev's is always the highlight of my summer... and the highlight of my dog's year. Maggie runs around non-stop, and when she gets back to NY, she sleeps for two days straight. The best part is that it's always teeming with musical theatre people, and every meal is rife with hilarious stories about onstage antics. I was obsessed with James Hadley's story about Debra Monk’s understudy in
Thou Shalt Not
. They were having an understudy rehearsal, and the stage manager literally said, "Let's take it from the stroke." The Debra Monk character has a major stroke during the show that cues a dance number.

It's kind of embarrassing to pretend to have a stroke onstage, so the understudy said her line with little conviction and then muttered, "…And… then I have a stroke." Suddenly, CUT!

MUSIC DIRECTOR: I need the actual full stroke. You need to say, "Ooh, ooh… ah," …twist your mouth to the left… and then the music comes in.

The understudy looked mortified that she had to do it again. She said her line once more, but this time added a lackluster "Ooh, ooh, ah…" Suddenly, as her mouth was contorting, CUT!

MUSIC DIRECTOR: I need it louder!

Of course, by now, the ensemble offstage was laughing hysterically. The understudy finally did her complete stroke/became paralyzed, and the ensemble entered and circled her while trying to contain their laughter. They spun her around in her wheelchair, and when her back was to the audience, she came out of her paralysis just long enough to give her fellow cast members the finger.

Let me sign off by saying Happy Labor Day, everyone!

More Luxury Problems

September 11, 2007

Okay, remember when I talked about having "luxury problems" a few weeks ago? Well, apparently I'm still sitting in the lap of luxury.
In mid-July, I auditioned for a film starring Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher. Cut to a few days ago when I found out that I got the part! My first feature film! And it's my signature line limit: two! Plus, I'd be playing those lines opposite Ashton Kutcher, which could easily have led to an impromptu make-out session. Yes, I know he's married, but can't I harass him sexually and then claim I was "punking" him? Regardless, the question is moot because the movie films on a Tuesday and Wednesday during previews, and the powers that be won't let me take off those shows.

My mother tried to help me plead my case: "Why won't they let you take off? You have such a small part!" Truthfully, I don't even know how I could do a contemporary movie with my crazy ‘70s hairstyle. A girl named Camille, who only knows me from my Sirius radio show, came to my
Chatterbox
this week, and when I walked in, her mom told me that she exclaimed, "He looks like John Travolta!" I don't think she meant
Pulp Fiction
John, I think she meant Tony Manero John. Hmm... maybe I could get a gig if they do a sequel to
Stayin' Alive
(
Barely Alive: Still Kickin'
?).

Anyhoo, I'm writing this column from my Studio 54 dressing room. We are in the middle of "10 out of 12" rehearsals, meaning we have to keep 12 hours free and work for 10 of those hours. It's essentially X-treme Tech. There's that old chestnut that goes, "If Hitler were alive today, I would make him be in a musical during its out-of-town tryout." I will amend that to say that he should be in the middle of tech rehearsal for said musical. People, it's brutal! We have an opening scene that consists of around 15 lines. We teched that mother for
hours
! Caroline Aaron, who plays Vivian, told me that beginnings and ends of acts take forever to tech. She did
The Sisters Rosensweig
and said that Act One ended with one of the sisters opening up a present and saying a line. It took
one whole day
of tech to do it!