Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey (32 page)

Out of the 800 people there, around 40 received awards for top performance, such as "Most Sales,"

"Greatest Volume," "Highest Earned Commissions," and "Most Listings." There was a lot of hoopla --

excitement, cheering, applause -- around the presentation of these awards. There was no doubt that those 40 people had won; but there was also the underlying awareness that 760 people had lost.

We immediately began educational and organizational development work to align the systems and structures of the organization toward the win-win paradigm. We involved people at a grass-roots level to develop the kinds of systems that would motivate them. We also encouraged them to cooperate and synergize with each other so that as many as possible could achieve the desired results of their individually tailored performance agreements.

At the next rally one year later, there were over 1,000 sales associates present, and about 800 of them received awards. There were a few individual winners based on comparisons, but the program primarily focused on people achieving self-selected performance objectives and on groups achieving team objectives. There was no need to bring in the high school bands to artificially contrive the fanfare, the cheerleading, and the psych up. There was tremendous natural interest and excitement because people could share in each others' happiness, and teams of sales associates could experience rewards together, including a vacation trip for the entire office.

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The remarkable thing was that almost all of the 800 who received the awards that year had produced as much per person in terms of volume and profit as the previous year's 40. The spirit of win-win had significantly increased the number of golden eggs and had fed the goose as well, releasing enormous human energy and talent. The resulting synergy was astounding to almost everyone involved.

Competition has its place in the marketplace or against last year's performance -- perhaps even against another office or individual where there is no particular interdependence, no need to cooperate.

But cooperation in the workplace is as important to free enterprise as competition in the marketplace.

The spirit of win-win cannot survive in an environment of competition and contests.

For win-win to work, the systems have to support it. The training system, the planning system, the communication system, the budgeting system, the information system, the compensation system -- all have to be based on the principle of win-win.

I did some consulting for another company that wanted training for their people in human relations.

The underlying assumption was that the problem was the people.

The president said, "Go into any store you want and see how they treat you. They're just order takers. They don't understand how to get close to the customers. They don't know the product and they don't have the knowledge and the skill in the sales process necessary to create a marriage between the product and the need."

So I went to the various stores. And he was right. But that still didn't answer the question in my mind: What caused the attitude?

"Look, we're on top of the problem," the president said. "We have department heads out there setting a great example. We've told them their job is two-thirds selling and one-third management, and they're outselling everybody. We just want you to provide some training for the salespeople.

Those words raised a red flag. "Let's get some more data," I said.

He didn't like that. He "knew" what the problem was, and he wanted to get on with training. But I persisted, and within two days we uncovered the real problem. Because of the job definition and the compensation system, the managers were "creaming." They'd stand behind the cash register and cream all the business during the slow times. Half the time in retail is slow and the other half is frantic.

So the managers would give all the dirty jobs -- inventory control, stock work, and cleaning -- to the salespeople. And they would stand behind the registers and cream. That's why the department heads were top in sales.

So we changed one system -- the compensation system -- and the problem was corrected overnight.

We set up a system whereby the managers only made money when their salespeople made money.

We overlapped the needs and goals of the managers with the needs and goals of the salespeople. And the need for human-relations training suddenly disappeared. The key was developing a true win-win reward system.

In another instance, I worked with a manager in a company that required formal performance evaluation. He was frustrated over the evaluation rating he had given a particular manager. "He deserved a three," he said, "but I had to give him a one" (which meant superior, promotable).

"What did you give him a one for?" I asked.

"He gets the numbers," was his reply.

"So why do you think he deserves a three?"

"It's the way he gets them. He neglects people; he runs over them. He's a troublemaker."

"It sounds like he's totally focused on P -- on production. And that's what he's being rewarded for.

But what would happen if you talked with him about the problem, if you helped him understand the importance of PC?"

He said he had done so, with no effect.

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"Then what if you set up a win-win contract with him where you both agreed that two-thirds of his compensation would come from P -- from numbers -- and the other one-third would come from PC --

how other people perceive him, what kind of leader, people builder, team builder he is?"

"Now that would get his attention," he replied.

So often the problem is in the system, not in the people. If you put good people in bad systems, you get bad results. You have to water the flowers you want to grow.

As people really learn to Think Win-Win, they can set up the systems to create and reinforce it.

They can transform unnecessarily competitive situations to cooperative ones and can powerfully impact their effectiveness by building both P and PC.

In business, executives can align their systems to create teams of highly productive people working together to compete against external standards of performance. In education, teachers can set up grading systems based on an individual's performance in the context of agreed-upon criteria and can encourage students to cooperate in productive ways to help each other learn and achieve. In families, parents can shift the focus from competition with each other to cooperation. In activities such as bowling, for example, they can keep a family score and try to beat a previous one. They can set up home responsibilities with Win-Win Agreements that eliminate constant nagging and enable parents to do the things only they can do.

A friend once shared with me a cartoon he'd seen of two children talking to each other. "If mommy doesn't get us up soon," one was saying, "we're going to be late for school." These words brought forcibly to his attention the nature of the problems created when families are not organized on a responsible win-win basis.

Win-win puts the responsibility on the individual for accomplishing specified results within clear guidelines and available resources. It makes a person accountable to perform and evaluate the results and provides consequences as a natural result of performance. And win-win systems create the environment which supports and reinforces the Win-Win Agreements.

There's no way to achieve win-win ends with win-lose or lose-win means. You can't say, "You're going to Think Win-Win, whether you like it or not." So the question becomes how to arrive at a win-win solution.

Roger Fisher and William Ury, two Harvard law professors, have done some outstanding work in what they call the "principled" approach versus the "positional" approach to bargaining in their tremendously useful and insightful book, Getting to Yes. Although the words win-win are not used, the spirit and underlying philosophy of the book are in harmony with the win-win approach.

They suggest that the essence of principled negotiation is to separate the person from the problem, to focus on interests and not on positions, to invent options for mutual gain, and to insist on objective criteria -- some external standard or principle that both parties can buy into.

In my own work with various people and organizations seeking win-win solutions, I suggest that they become involved in the following four-step process: First, see the problem from the other point of view. Really seek to understand and give expression to the needs and concerns of the other party as well as or better than they can themselves. Second, identify the key issues and concerns (not positions) involved. Third, determine what results would constitute a fully acceptable solution. And fourth, identify possible new options to achieve those results.

Habits 5 and 6 deal directly with two of the elements of this process, and we will go into those in depth in the next two chapters.

But at this juncture, let me point out the highly interrelated nature of the process of win-win with the essence of win-win itself. You can only achieve win-win solutions with win-win processes -- the
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end and the means are the same.

Win-win is not a personality technique. It's a total paradigm of human interaction. It comes from a character of integrity, maturity, and the Abundance Mentality. It grows out of high-trust relationships. It is embodied in agreements that effectively clarify and manage expectations as well as accomplishments. It thrives in supportive systems. And it is achieved through the process we are now prepared to more fully examine in Habits 5 and 6.

Application Suggestions:

1. Think about an upcoming interaction wherein you will be attempting to reach an agreement or negotiate a solution. Commit to maintain a balance between courage and consideration.

2. Make a list of obstacles that keep you from applying the win-win paradigm more frequently.

Determine what could be done within your Circle of Influence to eliminate some of those obstacles.

3. Select a specific relationship where you would like to develop a Win-Win Agreement. Try to put yourself in the other person's place, and write down explicitly how you think that person sees the solution. Then list, from your own perspective, what results would constitute a win for you.

Approach the other person and ask if he or she would be willing to communicate until you reach a point of agreement and mutually beneficial solution.

4. Identify three key relationships in your life. Give some indication of what you feel the balance is in each of the Emotional Bank Accounts. Write down some specific ways you could make deposits in each account.

5. Deeply consider your own scripting. Is it win-lose? How does that scripting affect your interactions with other people? Can you identify the main source of that script? Determine whether or not those scripts serve well in your current reality.

6. Try to identify a model of win-win thinking who, even in hard situations, really seeks mutual benefit. Determine now to more closely watch and learn from this person's example.

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood TM

The heart has its reasons which reason knows not of.

-- Pascal

Suppose you've been having trouble with your eyes and you decide to go to an optometrist for help.

After briefly listening to your complaint, he takes off his glasses and hands them to you.

"Put these on," he says. "I've worn this pair of glasses for 10 years now and they've really helped me. I have an extra pair at home; you can wear these."

So you put them on, but it only makes the problem worse

"This is terrible!" you exclaim. "I can't see a thing!"

"Well, what's wrong?" he asks. "They work great for me. Try harder."

"I am trying," you insist. "Everything is a blur."

"Well, what's the matter with you? Think positively."

"Okay. I positively can't see a thing."

"Boy, you are ungrateful!" he chides. "And after all I've done to help you!"

What are the chances you'd go back to that optometrist the next time you need help? Not very good, I would imagine. You don't have much confidence in someone who doesn't diagnose before he
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or she prescribes.

But how often do we diagnose before we prescribe in communication?

"Come on, honey, tell me how you feel. I know it's hard, but I'll try to understand."

"Oh, I don't know, Mom. You'd think it was stupid."

"Of course I wouldn't! You can tell me. Honey, no one cares for you as much as I do. I'm only interested in your welfare. What's making you so unhappy?"

"Oh, I don't know."

"Come on, honey. What is it?"

"Well, to tell you the truth, I just don't like school anymore."

"What?" you respond incredulously. "What do you mean you don't like school? And after all the sacrifices we've made for your education! Education is the foundation of your future. If you'd apply yourself like your older sister does, you'd do better and then you'd like school. Time and time again, we've told you to settle down. You've got the ability, but you just don't apply yourself. Try harder.

Get a positive attitude about it."

Pause

"Now go ahead. Tell me how you feel."

We have such a tendency to rush in, to fix things up with good advice. But we often fail to take the time to diagnose, to really, deeply understand the problem first.