Severing Sanguine: A Companion Book to The Fallocaust Series Book 2 (17 page)

Suddenly I saw a flash of black and something rise into the air. I looked at it and didn’t think I was seeing real things until I heard Jasper laugh.

“That’s one of my crows,” Jasper explained. “I got mating pairs from a merchant Skyfaller a few years back with Geigerchips. I put the chips in their offspring and let them go. There are crows everywhere here.”

“Wow!” I exclaimed. I had seen a couple birds around that Nan had said must’ve been escaped greywaster pets but never a big black crow! I kept watching it until I saw it land on a wooden plank with a yellow sign on it.

Oh, I remember the old man in Melchai mentioning these signs! The triangle ones that said:
Stay out by order of Skytech.
That meant the plaguelands were close to here! I watched the crow flap its wings and I was thrilled as all hell when it cawed! I cawed back and Jasper laughed at that. That made me happy, I liked making people laugh.

Then I noticed something weird, behind that farm house I could see darker ground like it had recently been dug up. It looked like a grave from the size of it. I had helped Nan dig a few graves when we had some of the kids die.

I pointed to it and Jasper didn’t even wait for me to ask.

“That was just a friend of mine who died,” Jasper explained. “He died a couple months ago and I buried his bones.”

That made me feel sad, maybe that was why Jasper had decided to come and visit me in my house. He was lonely too.

“How did he die?” I asked.

“He got an infection inside of him and it poisoned his insides,” he replied sadly. “I miss him a lot; his name was Lenny.”

Poor Lenny. I looked at the grave and saw Barry flying over it. He landed beside it and looked down at the mound of dirt.

Barry kicked the dirt with his foot before looking back at me with a smile. Then, without a word, he jumped high up into the sky and flew away. It was like he knew something about that grave that I didn’t… I wasn’t sure what.

Jasper parked the trike inside of an open shed. There were two right beside each other. One half-filled with firewood and scraps from old buildings, and the other one had boxes and an area in the middle for the trike. He wheeled it in and I stood there looking around the farm.

His farm house had one floor in it and windows that were dusty and old. It had a porch with an overhang and a worn railing that was wiggly and slumping in some places. The wood was patched in some areas with the same peachy-yellow wood I had seen on the barn’s roof, and what wasn’t patched had been painted with the same peely indoor paint his trike had.

I walked over to the house and peeked in, then looked down and realized he must have a basement. But weirdly the windows to the basement had been boarded and those boards were held in by big big nails. I tapped it with my foot and it was stiff as rock; it didn’t move an inch.

I looked around and stuffed my hands into my pockets. Everything was flat except for a hill in the distance that was covered in trees and the broken-up buildings we had driven past. I could also see some old rusty farm equipment that I might like to play on but that was about it… there really wasn’t much here.

But Tristan was here! I smiled and put on my backpack from the back of the trike and waited for Jasper to be done putting it away in the shed. I looked around for my new friend but I couldn’t hear anything.

Jasper took the keys out of the trike and put them in his pocket. When he turned around he was smirking, and with the same smirk he walked right past me.

“Can I meet Tristan now?” I said eagerly. I had so many questions for him, like if he had people hate him because of how he looked. I also wanted to ask him how to keep from biting his own tongue since I had to teach myself to not do that, though sometimes I did by accident and I took a little chunk out.

“Sure, he’s probably asleep in his room…” Jasper took out his bottle of whisky and drank it. I followed him as he walked inside of his house.

His house was a pigsty… but I didn’t say anything about it. Everything was dirty and it smelled like rotting food and beer; it kind of smelled like Gill’s house. I curled my nose since he wasn’t looking – he needed a Nan to help him clean everything.

I walked past a big pile of milk crates with junk inside of them and even saw an arian arm sawed off of its body. It smelled awful, he should throw that out.

And more body parts too… I ran my finger along a severed foot that had a box lying on top of it. It was laying there forgotten and I could see a couple maggots wiggling around.

“You need to throw that stuff out,” I said, finally not able to hold back my comments. He was an adult and he should know by now that meat would go rotted if you left it out for too long.

“Yeah, I was away for quite a few days… I’ll get to it tonight. Gross, I know.” Jasper’s voice was a bit quicker than it usually was. I craned my ears and also could hear his heart racing. He was nervous about something… maybe he was afraid I wouldn’t like Tristan?

“He’s down in the basement where his room is… just down these stairs.” Jasper pointed to a set of stairs. I looked down them and suddenly I felt nervous. Those stairs looked spooky and they led into more darkness. I could only see a bit of concrete with black stains on them.

I hesitated and took a step back.

“You can wake him up… he’s just a bit shy but he’ll be happy to see you. Go on, you first,” Jasper said, giving my back a small push towards the stairs. “Go on.”

My feet seemed glued. I jammed my hands into my pockets and looked at the ground. I felt scared and the fear was paralyzing my body. Suddenly I just wanted to go home back to my house. Why did I go all the way here? I should have stayed home…

“Go on, Sami… you came all this way. Don’t you want to meet Tristan?” Jasper urged me with his hand. His voice was pressing against my brain like each word weighed a hundred pounds. “I spent a lot of fuel… don’t you even want to say hi?”

“I… I don’t know…” I whispered. I took a small step forward towards the stairs. My head was starting to fill with heat and it was making my ears deafen with a static sound. I didn’t want to go down there… but I didn’t want to make Jasper mad.

“Go on… you don’t want to hurt his feelings do you? I thought since you have the same abnormalities as him you’d be more understanding of that…”

“I… I don’t…” I stammered and took a step down the stairs. Everything seemed scary at that moment and my eyes started to burn again. I realized too that my hands were trembling and my teeth were biting down so hard on my cheek I started tasting blood.

“Go on, Sami,” Jasper urged. “Don’t hurt his feelings now.”

I didn’t want to make anyone mad. I didn’t want to lose my friends… especially a boy my age. So I took another step and then another, feeling the temperature drop as I descended down below ground level.

With my heart thrashing against my chest my boots stepped onto the concrete. Jasper right behind me. I put my fingers on the door frame and peeked inside.

My brow furrowed as I looked around, there was nothing down here but an unfinished basement with a mattress in the corner. I turned around to tell Jasper this but suddenly he roughly pushed me inside.

I stumbled and fell with a shocked yell. I jumped to my feet and whirled around to yell at him when suddenly the door slammed.

“Jasper?” I called. I ran to the door and tried to open it but I felt a click as he locked it. “Jasper?”

“Jasper?” I burst into tears and started banging on the door and trying to force it open but it was locked. It was locked.

It was fucking locked.

Sami age 8

I sat on the dirty mattress and stared at the door, my knees drawn up to my chest and my arms wrapped around them. I think I was stunned but I wasn’t sure, I just knew I couldn’t move and my throat was too raw to yell anymore.

This room was dark, only small slits of light leaking through the boarded up basement window which laid across the dirty concrete floor like landing strips. Besides that there was no light switch for the single bulb above my head and no open window I could get through or look through.

And it was cold, but I couldn’t pull the single blanket I had over my body because what I saw underneath it disturbed me so much I covered it again. It was blood, streaks of blood and droplets of it all over the dirty mattress. There was more blood than grey fabric and just looking at it made my heart jump into my throat. I didn’t want to know why there was blood there, or why there were dried blood stains on the floors and spray on the wall.

He was going to kill me.

My arms tightened over my legs and stared at the door, seeing a streak of blood just several feet from me on the concrete wall. I knew there was more blood on the walls and probably by the door but I hadn’t gotten up to look. I hadn’t done anything but stare at that door.

This was a place where he killed stupid kids like me… it had to be. Kids without parents that were stupid enough to go alone with a man they barely knew.

But he had said he would be my friend…

He said Tristan was down here – but now I knew there never was a Tristan.

Just like I never had a friend.

A part of me wanted to walk up to the door and hammer on it, but I knew there was no use. I had been down here for two days now and he hadn’t come at all to any of my yelling. Even when I told him I wouldn’t run away I couldn’t hear anything.

Luckily I had my backpack and inside of it I had a couple bottles of water, tact, and some of the hard candies I had gotten. They were almost all gone but I had learned how to ration everything. Jasper knew I had this with me which must be why he hadn’t come.

Though what was the point in eating when he was going to murder me? Murder and eat me and bury me near that freshly dug grave I had seen on the way here.

My eyes closed and I tried to put myself back on that trike, though this time in my head Barry flew over to Jasper and bit his face off. I pushed him off of the trike and rode it all the way back home. I never went with anyone I didn’t know again and I was safe forever.

Then Nero and Ellis would come and visit me and maybe if I asked really nice and was on my best behaviour they would let me join the Legion. Because at least the Legion was safe, safer than being locked in this basement.

No, no one was going to come with me… I was alone here and I was fucked.

I reached over and grabbed Barry. I wound him up and let him play his song for me. His Daisy sound echoed off of the basement rafters and filled the entire room with his music. It was my only comfort, I had smoked all of my cigarettes over the last couple days just because I had nothing else to do and they helped calm me down.

Now I didn’t even have that… I was alone.

I glanced down at my arms and looked at them. They were covered in red lesions and had blood crusted on them, drying into the wounds and creating small red fissures. I didn’t realize I was doing it until I had already drawn blood but I had started digging my fingernails into my arms. Though now I was doing it on purpose.

“Because it makes you feel better… doesn’t it?” Barry whispered into my ear. His voice was sad and full of pity. I don’t know what I would do without Barry.

I nodded and started picking the dried blood off of my skin. It flaked off and fell into the darkness never to be seen again. I went to work cleaning my wounds with my fingernails though in the end I found myself tearing off each and every scab to make them bleed again.

There was nothing inside of me that cared, I scraped and picked and when enough little rubies formed droplets on my skin I licked it with my tongue and picked the skin some more.

The next day I got creative. I sat in front of one of the concrete walls and started painting with my own blood. I liked licking it off of me but this kept me busy for longer. I would dip my finger into my wounds and paint whatever images were inside my head at the time. Mostly it was Barry since he had been the only one in here to keep me company.

I drew him and coloured in the areas where he was brown and left the areas he was white as just bare concrete. I drew his fluffy bear ears and his black eyes, and carefully I put blood on my fingernail and used that to paint his teeth. I couldn’t finger-paint that since my fingers were too big and you needed precision to draw the pointed teeth.

While I was drawing I looked over at Barry to make sure I got him right. He was staring at me with his huge black eyes wide; his mouth opened in a big grin that showed off his pointy teeth. Whenever I saw Barry now he was smiling at me like that. I wasn’t sure whether he was trying to be encouraging or if he was laughing at me. It depended on the day whether he was nice Barry or not.

Barry was looking normal again so that was good. He still had curly brown hair but his fuzzy ears were perked up and not flat against his head. He was my bear once again and that was comforting especially at night. Barry would still play me the Daisy song and I found myself playing it a lot just to hear something besides my own heartbeat or the blood going through my body. He was a good companion to have and if it wasn’t for his ideas I wouldn’t know that cutting myself helps.

“Barry, Barry, give me your heart to do!”
I sang to him after I was bored of painting on the walls.
“I’m half-crazy, all for the love of yooouuuu.”

Barry laughed and he grabbed a table leg that was laying in a corner. I didn’t mention to him that it looked like it had blood on it because I didn’t want him to drop it in disgust. So I looked around and found the broken chair it had come from and twisted a table leg off for myself. Barry and I played together for awhile but then since I wasn’t eating too much I laid back down in bed and decided to rest for awhile.

Though instead of resting I cried for a bit. I was almost nine and I knew I shouldn’t cry but I was scared. I didn’t know if Jasper was going to kill me or what he wanted from me. And even though I wanted him to come and tell me what I did wrong – I also didn’t want to see him.

Jasper had said he would be my friend… and once again I was tricked.

So that night when the slits of light from the windows had disappeared I made a solemn promise to myself that I would never trust another person ever again. No adults or kids or anyone. Everyone I trusted besides Ellis and Nero had ended up betraying me one way or another. Even Nan had by not stopping Gill from nailing me to the planks. Adults were mean and all they wanted was to trick you… I would have been okay in the greywastes if I was just smart enough to not trust anyone.

It was my fault, I was stupid.

I was stupid. I was evil. I was a demon, and I was bad.

Maybe I deserved this? Maybe Jasper had put me in here because I was a monster and all monsters belonged locked up.

In the middle of the night I heard the door open.

I looked up and froze from fright when the light switch turned on. All of a sudden I felt like a wild animal. I backed up as far as I could until my back hit the wall and stared at him in horror.

Jasper was standing in the doorway, dressed in around-the-house clothes like he hadn’t gone to sleep yet. He was staring at me without an expression on his face, a cigarette in his hand.

“I want to go home,” I said in a small voice. Immediately my eyes started to well. I was so scared I couldn’t move. Each small movement Jasper made filled my body with horror to the point where small noises were escaping from my lips.

“This is your home now…” Jasper said in a voice that held nothing in it. No emotion, no anger, it was empty. It was a voice made out of blank paper with nothing on it.

I whimpered and shook my head. My body tensed and I pressed my back further against the wall as he took a step closer to me.

I wanted to be brave… where was the boy who poisoned the greywasters? Who jumped on the celldweller? I was a coward and too terrified to do anything when he walked up to my bed and took my arm.

“Come with me…” Jasper said.

“Where?” I yelled, tears sprang from my eyes and my entire body started to tremble. He started pulling me towards the door. My feet automatically stepped one in front of the other. I was too much in shock for me to do anything but walk with him.

Jasper dragged me up the stairs. I managed to try and pull away from him several times but he jerked my arm every time I did.

Though when I was on the surface, in the smelly main area of his house I got a burst of energy. I tried to pull my arm away with all my might and I almost managed to slip away but he grabbed me hard and squeezed my arm.

“YOU’RE GOING TO DO AS I SAY!” Jasper suddenly yelled at me. I stared at him in shock, no one had yelled at me like that in years. It stunned me and it made me forget to breathe.

Jasper pulled me outside, outside in the fresh air. I looked around into the darkness and saw there was only one light in the greywastes besides the porch light. A lamp that was shining down on what looked like an outside shower.

“What are you doing?” I whimpered.

“You’re having a shower, get in and clean yourself,” Jasper demanded. Immediately he started taking my jacket off.

I was confused and still stunned. I let him remove my jacket and then my shirt. He stripped me down to absolutely nothing and took a step back.

He wasn’t holding me anymore, no one was holding me… but I was completely naked and already the frozen air around us was making me shiver.

I stood there with my arms around myself, sniffing again and again as my nose started to run. I looked around wondering what I was supposed to do now and noticed Jasper was staring at me.

He was looking at me like how an animal looks at meat. I didn’t understand why but it made me uncomfortable and immediately my hands covered up my private parts. My lips pursed and my eyes burned.

“Nice… very nice…” Jasper kept staring, then finally he seemed to snap out of whatever state he was in. He walked past me and opened up the door to the shower, then turned on a tap making cold water come out. “Get in there and clean yourself off.” I saw him secure the door with a bungee cord so it was still open.

“Close… close the door…” I said in a small voice.

Jasper didn’t answer. He just reached up and turned the porch light off, making me clean myself in only the dim light by the shower. He stepped into the greywastes night and I heard clothes rustling. I ignored it and started soaking myself with water and then grabbed a bar of soap. It had been almost two years since I cleaned myself and I know I needed a bath badly. Nan would only let me go without baths in the summer time. During the rainy season she made me bathe once a week to make up for it.

I squeezed some shampoo into my hair and smelled the flowery smell of the bottle. I closed my eyes and tried to lather it into my greasy black hair, it was so long now it was almost touching my shoulders. I didn’t feel like cutting it and I had no adult to force me to cut it so I just let it grow.

I probably was filthy and I probably did smell I –

– there was that noise again…

I stopped and tried to wash the soap out of my eyes.

It was that noise I had heard before I left with Jasper, the one in the middle of the night. I opened my eyes but closed them as they stung from the soap. I tried to rinse them just to see what the noise was when I heard Jasper grunt, grunt like how Gill grunted when he was moving something heavy.

I opened my eyes when they were finally free of soap and looked out into the greywastes darkness.

What I saw confused me and the only way I knew how to express that confusion was to look away and pretend I didn’t see it. My ears burned and my face was red hot, I didn’t know what he was doing… or why he was doing it… or why he was watching me while he did it.

I didn’t think I would wish to be back in the basement but now I wanted to be back there more than ever. I closed my eyes and tried to put my head near the shower hose so I didn’t have to hear it anymore but that only made my mind listen to it more.

Grunting, weird sounds, heavy breathing, and Jasper… and Jasper… I didn’t know what he was doing, I just knew he wasn’t supposed to be doing it with me near him.

I turned away from what was happening and washed myself as quickly as possible. I ignored the grunting noise even when it started to get louder.

Then Jasper was behind me, the sound of the water had muffled any warning I could have had of him approaching. I looked behind me and stared in shock. He was entirely naked. I had never seen a naked adult before and it made me start to cry.

I just wanted to go home, and if not home, I just wanted to go back into the basement.

Jasper grabbed my hand and turned the water off. Though this time fear was filling me with the need to run. I tried to pull my hand away from his but even though it was wet and slippery I couldn’t break from his grasp. He had his hand tight around my wrist and he wasn’t letting go.