Sexual Healing for Three (34 page)

“I know you wouldn’t, Russ. But Suzie’s not seeing things rationally right now. I’m sure she’s only thinking about setting a good Christian example for the kids. You know that whole conservative family values rhetoric.”

“And I suppose a Dom father mixed up in BDSM and a ménage a trois isn’t a good Christian example. Never mind he’s involved in more of a committed, loving relationship than any of those hypocritical proponents of family values would ever understand, or at least it would be a committed, loving relationship if Donna would just come to her senses.”

Chance put a hand on Russ’s shoulder. “She’ll come around. She just needs time.”

“You’re talking about Suzie or Donna?”

“Suzie, actually, but I guess the statement applies to both.”

“I’ll give Suzie all the time she needs. But if she’s planning on keeping me from my kids, she’s going to have a fight on her hands.”

“And Donna?”

“She hasn’t
seen
my bossy side yet.”

* * * *

“Okay to come in?”

“Not if you’re initials are RM.”

“I guess I’m in the clear then. Mine happen to be CN.” Chance came into the master bedroom, his heart hopscotching as he crossed the floor and saw Donna’s smile.

She was such a sensitive, sensual, and sexual woman. Any man would be lucky to call her his own. He just wasn’t that man yet, but every minute of every day, he prayed for the miracle that would make her realize she loved and needed him as much as he and Russ loved and needed her. Every day he wished he could make her hurt go away 270

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and give her a fresh start. But that was impossible. They all had baggage and their pasts to deal with. They had to get over it. Whether she chose to do it alone or with them was totally up to her—always up to her.

“He’s not a bad guy, you know.”

Donna didn’t answer as she shoved her right foot into her Doc Martens like she had a grudge against the boot before buckling it up.

Chance sat on the bed beside her, thought he had never seen a woman get dressed and ready to go so fast, like rabid hunting dogs were chomping at her heels.

She finished putting on her boots and turned to Chance. “I know he’s not a bad guy,” she finally said. “He’s just a man.”

“And that’s a problem?”

“It can be sometimes. But we’ve already covered this. I’m not going to go into the poor-me-I-was-hurt-in-the-past-by-a-man-and-now-I-hate-all-men act. I don’t want pity. I’m a big girl. I’ll get over it.”

“Gee, you say all the right things. I’m almost convinced.” He put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. “You don’t have to get over it alone, you know. You can ask for help from someone who’s been there.”

“You?”

“Don’t look so shocked. I’ve been hurt before. Maybe not like you, but I’m human. None of us reach adulthood without suffering a little, some of us more than others.”

“Who hurt and made you suffer, Mr. Novak?”

He shrugged, suddenly sorry he had brought up the subject. “A girl.”

“Just one? Not a long string of jilted lovers and busted hearts in your wake?”

He smirked. “Not likely.”

She stared at him, making him feel like a bug under a magnifying glass and the hot summer sun. “You never really talk about yourself.

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You just sit back and listen to everyone else’s problems. Is that a healer thing?”

“You should know. You’re a bit of a healer yourself.”

Donna shook her head. “I wouldn’t dare put myself in the same league as you.”

“You don’t think what you do is worthy?”

She averted her gaze, and he instantly felt her remorse.

Chance put an arm around her shoulders and held her. “It wasn’t your fault what happened to Naomi.”

“I was wondering when you’d bring that up.”

“You didn’t seem like you wanted to talk about it.”

“How do
you
know about her? Did Russ tell you?”

“I knew something was wrong when I first arrived at the barbecue. When I saw you with Russ, I asked him why you were crying. He wouldn’t go into details, said I should ask you.”

“But you never did.”

“My powers get a little erratic during times of extreme excitement and stress, and I’m not always able to keep up my shields as well as I’d like. Somewhere during the last couple of days, the information slipped through.”

She put a hand on his thigh, her gaze instantly softening. “I’m sorry, Chance. It can’t be easy for you always having to hear what other people are thinking and feeling.”

He shrugged again. “I’m used to it.”

“Is that why a girl hurt you, because of what you can do?”

“It was a long time ago. I was twenty-two, practically a kid. She was too, so I don’t blame her.”

She just looked at him. “Really?”

“Everyone can’t handle what I am the way you did.”

“You think I handled it?”

“You didn’t run screaming from the room like I’m a freak.”

“You’re not a freak. You’re a human being who can do amazing things.”

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Chance got all choked up at her sincerity and the sound of determination in her voice. “Thanks for that,” he whispered.

“For what?”

“For being you.”

Now it was her turn to shrug, her shoulders eloquently lifting and dropping as she patted his thigh and peered at him. “I’d better get going.”

He caught her hand as she stood. “Not so fast.”

“What is it?”

“I don’t like you leaving under these circumstances.”

“You mean Russ?”

Chance nodded. “You two need to talk.”

“Maybe so, but not now. I’m not in the mood to be bossed around.”

“What if he doesn’t want to boss and just wants to talk?”

“Does he?”

Chance couldn’t honestly say one way or another, and he didn’t want to lie. He just hated seeing people he cared about so at odds with each other.

“Uh-huh. I didn’t think so.” Donna plunked back down on the bed and released a long sigh. “What do you think Suzie will do about what she heard?”

“I’m not sure. I don’t know her much better than you do.

Yesterday evening was the first time I ever met her, though I’ve heard a lot about her and the kids from Russ.”

“From what you’ve heard, do you think she would make trouble for Russ, that she’d actually keep the kids from him?”

He felt her anxiety, wanted to reassure her that everything would be all right, but he couldn’t, in good faith, do that. Suzie had been pretty mad when she left. Who knew what she’d do in that frame of mind? He responded with the only thing he could think of to say.

“If she does, it’s not your responsibility.”

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“Even though I’m not appreciating the asshole right now, I hate to see him having any difficulties, not if we can avoid it.”

“Don’t hold back. Tell me how you really feel.” Chance chuckled.

“Look, there’s nothing you can do to stop any
difficulties.
They’re a part of life, and I’m sure Russ will deal with the fallout in his own way, and he and Suzie will find a way to work things out. Just please don’t use the whole earlier scene as an excuse to stay away from us again.”

“Oh, Chance, I…I don’t like staying away from either of you.”

“Could have fooled me.”

Her grin had a tinge of sadness to it. “It’s just that it’s easier to avoid you two altogether than it is to deal with the emotional upheaval when I see you.”

“Is it really?”

“Well, not that easy, just preferable to maintain my sanity.”

“I suppose I should take that as a compliment, that we drive you crazy.”

She slid an arm around his waist and hugged him. “Why can’t all men be like you?”

“Because I’m an original, baby.”

She leaned her head on his shoulder and took a deep breath. “You both are. That’s the problem.”

“Why’s that a problem?”

“I just feel like I’m being too greedy accepting you and Russ into my life and enjoying you so much, like I’m tempting fate.”

“Oh Goddess, stop being so superstitious! Nothing bad’s going to happen to you—to any of us—just because you allow yourself a little pleasure. I promise.”

“Okay. I won’t be so superstitious.”

Her smile was without mirth or confidence, and her obvious lack of conviction made Chance wonder.

He had never been the superstitious type. He believed in science and his abilities and dealt with the rest of life as it came. And despite 274

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his experiences with people when it came to his abilities and spirituality, he still wouldn’t consider himself jaded or a cynic.

But what if there was something to Donna’s feelings? What if they were all courting disaster flouting convention to be together? The idea that they were tempting fate alarmed Chance as much as the idea of never seeing Donna again.

He could be on guard and protect her from physical and emotional harm, and he would. But how did he protect her from an amorphous idea or a feeling?

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He was smothering inside his own skin. It itched so much he wanted to rip it off to free himself, ease the pain, let what was inside him out. His head ached from all the ideas and plans roaming through it without a means of release.

He was stifling himself, and he needed to stop to survive. If he didn’t act soon, it would be the death of him and his dreams to be with Russ.

No! He wasn’t going to let them win.

He was tired of being the loser, the lowlife that everyone shunned, or worse, ignored.

This was his time now. His mother was dead. There was no one left to hold him back, no one to tell him he was less than nothing and didn’t deserve to be happy or be around
normal
people. His mother couldn’t hurt him anymore. No one could hurt him, except for maybe Russ if he rejected him. But Russ wouldn’t do that, would he? Surely he’d see past his sex to realize that they were made for each other and no one could take care of him better than him, that no one
cared
about him more.

He needed to get rid of that bitch. She was standing in his way, more so than the pretty-boy brother who was just an annoyance, much like the kids. But that heifer…she was a real rival.

She had the power to turn Russ’s head, to take his heart, her with her round, swinging hips and hot pussy to tempt Russ with—her with the big doe eyes and the fluttering lashes.

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Bitch! So he couldn’t play the helpless damsel in distress game as well as her, and he didn’t have tits and a cunt to seduce and suck in a man like Russ. Did that mean he didn’t deserve love too?

John had assured him he deserved love. John had him believing he was worthy despite his past.

He decided he could be whatever Russ wanted him to be to get back that feeling of worthiness he’d had with John. He just needed a chance.

And he would get it.

He closed his eyes and pictured her stomped beneath the heel of his boots, her vital organs slowly shutting down as she bled out before finally dying.

That’s it. He would make sure she died as slowly and painfully as possible. He wanted her to suffer the way he was suffering. He wanted her to know exactly how much he despised her for keeping Russ away from him. She was vile, like an insidious disease, no better than the accident that had taken John away from him.

He tipped the vodka bottle to his head and took a long swig, wincing as the alcohol burned a path down his throat and esophagus before it finally lit a fire in his stomach.

He was not much of a drinker. He liked to keep a clear head so he didn’t make mistakes. But lately, he needed the alcohol to dull the pain, keep the visions of the heifer and Russ together at bay. The mere images made him sick.

But he wouldn’t have to put up with her presence for much longer.

He had plans for her.

He would carry them out soon—very soon.

* * * *

When the phone on his desk rang, Russ groaned.

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He was not expecting good news, not after the way his day had started out and especially not after it continued to go straight down the crapper ever since. And it was now barely noon.

No, he wasn’t going to answer the phone. He’d let Stu handle whatever and whoever it was. Stu was capable, and that’s what Russ had hired him for.

He just couldn’t deal with another crisis, didn’t want to hear about another client locking horns with one of his contractors, didn’t want to hear about materials that had failed to reach their destination or job, didn’t want to hear about another project snag, didn’t want to hear about once-reliable employees calling in sick yet again.

This wasn’t like him. He didn’t run from problems, and he definitely didn’t run from phone calls. Whoever was on the other end, he was sure he could deal with them efficiently and courteously, in a manner befitting his position as owner of the company and a well-trained designer. He didn’t run from his problems, unlike some people he knew.

Damn, that was a low blow. It wasn’t Donna’s fault that
he
had fallen for her. It was him, all him. She wasn’t responsible for his feelings, but damn didn’t she hold his heart in her hands without even knowing it. Hell, he hadn’t known it for sure until a couple of weeks ago when she’d silently glanced his way before quickly averting her eyes and leaving his house before Chance left him a few minutes later.

The phone stopped ringing. Good. He could get back to his wallowing in peace.

He aimlessly clicked the mouse on his computer, halfheartedly going over the needs assessment specs for one of his latest projects, but all he could think about was Donna and the way he’d felt watching her leave. She hadn’t said a word, had barely looked at him, but just those little gestures had been enough to rip out a piece of him, the good and promising piece that inspired him, made him whole.

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Hell, now he was waxing poetic. Why didn’t he just take his truck to her house and tell her she completed him. That oughta go over real well.