Sexual Service (12 page)
“What sort of life is this?” he breathed, again pondering on having a piss. “Talk about the spy who shagged me. I’m the fucking spy who’s been captured by the enemy.” Sipping his coffee, he wished he’d taken his mother’s advice and become a university lecturer. There again, a PE teacher at a girls’ school would be far more interesting and the perks would undoubtedly be ...
“Mr Blond, we meet again!” a female voice chuckled.
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“Jesus fucking Christ!” Blond gasped, spilling his coffee over his trousers as Eva Titsky emerged from a shadowy corner of the cabin. “Eva, what are you doing here? Shit, I was about to have a piss. You’d have seen me and I’d have been really embarrassed and ...”
“Shut the fuck up, for God’s sake. I have bad news for you.”
“Can I have the good news first?”
“There is no good news.”
“This news, is it bad or really bad?”
“Dreadfully bad. You are now in Penisburg ...”
“I know that. Good God, as if I don’t know where the fucking hell I am. For fuck’s sake, of course I fucking know where the fuck I am. I’ve flown over the Urinal fucking Mountains, parachuted into fucking Penisburg, and you tell me that I’m in fucking Penisburg. ”
“You’re in Penisburg - as my prisoner.”
“What are you on about? I thought you were my London contact?”
“That’s what I told you and that’s what you believed.”
“That’s why I thought you were my London contact. Because you told me you were and I believed you.”
“I lied.”
“Lied? Are you the Prime Minister of Penisburg?”
“What?”
“Prime Ministers are renowned for lying. You lied, so I thought ...”
“You’re a retard, Blond. If I were to tell you that I was a goddess of sex you’d believe me.”
“A goddess of sex? You must be joking. With your fucking great tits ...”
“Do you have a problem with my tits?”
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“
I
don’t, but I would imagine you do!” Eyeing the swell of her massive breasts ballooning beneath her tight blouse, he grimaced. “Actually, I do have a problem. There’s nothing worse than a pair of wobbly, jelly-like, fried egg look-alike, bloody great tits. I mean, what the hell are you supposed to do with them?”
“I don’t find you very funny, Mr Blond.”
“I don’t find your tits very funny. Tits aside, what’s this all about?”
“Fool that you are, you’ve walked straight into my trap.”
“Step into my parlour, said the Russian agent to the painter and decorator.”
“Painter and ... We’ve wanted you out of the way for some time, Mr Blond.”
“So did my parents. What do you mean,
we
?”
“I’m head of Penisburg Intelligence. We’ve planned the downfall of your country, Mr Blond. My comrades and I have designed a formidable weapon. The Orgasmatron.”
“You’re a fiendish cow!” Blond spat. You’re a cow of fiendish proportions. And your tits are out of proportion. You’re a formidable cowbag!”
“Indeed, I am. The Orgasmatron will render Great Britain completely, totally and utterly defenceless.”
“You mean, the people won’t be able to defend themselves?”
“I couldn’t have put it better myself.”
“How? What does this weapon of immense sexual gratification do?”
“When aimed at Britain, all the inhabitants will be overcome by multiple orgasms of incredible strength and duration. While they’re in a state of pure sexual ecstasy, my troops will move in and take control of the country.”
“A fucking great vibrator? Devilish, I must say. But you’re overlooking something, Miss Titsky.”
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“I overlook nothing, Mr Blond.”
“You’re overlooking two fucking great tits for starters.”
“There’s no need to be crude.”
“It’s in my nature to be crude. I come from a long line of crudity, ancestral crudity.
Talking of which, have you ever given any thought to the humble earthworm, Miss Titsky?”
“What the hell are you talking about now?”
“I have to warn you that I’m nothing like an earthworm, humble or otherwise. I’m more akin to a fighting machine. I’m well practised in the martial art of ...”
“OK, girls! You can come in now!” she called, turning and facing a door in the rear wall of the cabin.
Blond stood open-mouthed as half a dozen naked teenage girls filed through the door and stood behind Eva. Their vulval flesh shaved, their inner lips protruding enticing from their tightly closed sex cracks, they were fine specimens.
Well worth fucking
, he mused, casting his eyes over the petite mounds of their rock-hard and most suckable breasts. But what had they to do with his imprisonment? And what had they to do with rent boys sucking parliamentary members’
members to orgasm on Clapham Common? Did it really matter? They were young, curvaceous, firm, tight, hot, wet, juicy, slippery, lickable, fuckable, shagable, fingerable ...
Fingerable?
“My girls are young, Mr Blond,” Eva smiled, waving her hand at the little beauties. “As you can see, they have been shaved in order to emphasize their youth. You’ll notice that their vaginal lips are full and well-formed. Regular massaging has made their outer labia taut and firm.
The inner wings of their vulval slits are supple, ripe for taking into the mouth and sucking. Their clitorises are mature, of a good size and extremely sensitive to the caress of a tongue. They 116
vaginas are tight, hot and always well lubricated in readiness for debased sex. Their breasts are topped with fine, sensitive nipples ...”
“I don’t think you need say more,” Blond grinned, his solid penis bulging his trousers.
“I’ll have you know that I have three eyes.”
“Three?”
“Two either side of my nose and one on the end of my cock.”
“You pathetic fool!” Eva hissed. “I will leave you to your fate, Mr Blond. When the girls have had their fun, you will die.”
“Die?”
“Die.”
“Blimey!”
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