Shadow: Cerberus MC Book 3 (2 page)

This is my last year to work as a teacher’s assistant at Little Elm Elementary School. I’ve worked here part-time for the last two years helping just about anyone who needs it at the recommendation of my college counselor. She insisted that the school would not overlook my dedication when it came time for new teacher hires after I graduated.

I wasn’t able to get a position for the spring semester, after my graduation in December, but I’ve been assured that the newly slotted second-grade teacher’s position is mine when school begins in the fall of next year. My hard work has paid off. Not only am I graduating early from the University of Colorado, Denver early, but I will be willfully employed at a job using my degree.

I would be even more excited about the news I got this morning if it wasn’t for the queasiness I’ve been suffering with for days now. All of the running around I’ve been used to has become even more of a task.

The sight of my packed lunch on the table in the teacher’s lounge makes my stomach roll. I barely make it to the restroom before the breakfast I ate this morning comes back up. All of the symptoms are there. I’ve had it in the back of my mind since I realized my period was late two weeks ago that I’m probably pregnant.

I’ve ignored the insatiable hunger that is always followed up with nausea and sore breasts long enough. My hands tremble as I wet a paper towel and run it over the back of my neck. If in fact I am pregnant, I can’t ignore it any longer.

I throw the wet paper towel in the trash and rinse my mouth out. I head back out to finish my day, but I know I’ll be heading to the store to get a test for confirmation on my way home.

Ugh. I don’t even want to think of home right now. Living with my parents while in college was their brilliant idea. If I’m honest, I know I can’t afford to live on my own. I only work part-time, and teacher’s assistants don’t get paid that much. I’m lucky to get paid at all since most internships aren’t paid positions. I’ve been saving, but I don’t have enough money to support myself and a baby.

My extremely religious parents are going to lose it when they find out. I dread that conversation more than knowing I’m twenty-one, single, and pregnant. My thoughts wander to Morrison Griggs, or Shadow as he’s known in the motorcycle club he’s a member of.

I had to get a copy of his license when he came to the school to speak with teachers about Josie Bennett’s abduction last spring. Even big scary bikers are required to show ID before entering the school and roaming the halls. I’m certain that had I not been up front, I would’ve never learned his real name.

He asked for my phone number on his first visit and used it often during the weeks the investigation was taking place. I knew he was never going to be a permanent man in my life, but his charm and those gorgeous blue eyes of his were impossible to resist. I yielded eventually.

Best sex of my life hands down. I’ve had a handful of partners since starting college as a way to rebel against my parents for controlling every single aspect of my life. After graduation, they let up on me some. I used every opportunity to find some freedom, mostly in the form of indifferent sex.

When I ran into him again at Josie’s wedding, I knew exactly how the night would go. I knew I would enjoy the hell out of his body and the effortless way he controlled mine. I also knew I’d regret the sight of his back when he left me alone in the room, just as he did the times before. There was never an expectation of more. There was hope. I’d hoped on more than one occasion he would find something in me he couldn’t live without. It never happened.

I cherished every second we spent together. That’s why I lied to him when the condom broke. Yes, I’m one of
those
girls. I didn’t want him to get up and leave. I didn’t want to lose a second of the short, precious time we would have together.

I can remember the disappointment in his drunken eyes when he confessed it was his only condom. He began to pull away from me; so I told him I was on birth control. Obviously, if the baby I’m sure is growing inside of me is any indication, I wasn’t. I’ve had every intention of getting on the pill, but never made it a priority, a glaring mistake.

The rest of the day drags by, but luckily I don’t get sick again. Today at lunch is the first day I haven’t been able to alleviate the queasiness.

I head to a pharmacy across town, not taking the chance that I would run into anyone from school, or heaven forbid someone from the church. The information about me buying a pregnancy test would make it to my parents faster than I can make it home myself.

A quick in and out is all it takes to buy an overpriced stick that will determine my entire future. I can’t imagine myself as a mother. I was struggling with the idea of being responsible for twenty children in a classroom, and I get to send those kids home at the end of the day. Other than working in the nursery at church, I have absolutely no experience with babies. I’ve never had to deal with a fever or midnight feedings.

I wrap my purchase tightly in the bag the clerk handed to me and shove it to the very bottom of my purse in the zipped compartment I never use. Walking up the front walk of my childhood home is daunting. Both of my parents’ cars are in the driveway, and I know they will be able to tell what is going on the second I step through the front door, even though nothing has changed about my appearance since I left for class this morning.

“You’re later than usual,” my dad says as I try to sneak past the living room.

See what I mean?

“I chatted with the principal after work today,” I lie. I hate the simple lie, even though I know they will grow in number in the coming weeks and months.

He nods and turns back to the TV. I scurry out of the room.

“Oh, Misty?” I turn back and peek my head around the corner.

“Yes, sir?”

“The pastor called. The youth minister is sick. I told him you’d be there this evening to lead the youth group.”

“Okay,” I answer less than enthusiastically. I’m exhausted, and I know I’m about to be emotionally devastated, but there’s no refusing my father, especially when it has something to do with the church.

Twenty minutes later I’m crumpled on the floor in a sobbing heap. My life as I know it will now completely change. I’m not referring to motherhood, but the fact that when my parents find out about the baby, they will kick me out and cut all ties. Premarital sex is blasphemous. A baby out of wedlock? Unforgivable.

I can’t call Shadow. The man didn’t want me after he was done using me, why would he want a baby?

I hate knowing I’m going to have to make one of the most difficult decisions of my life shortly, and I honestly have no clue which way to go.

“Fuck,” I mutter as my hand slips with the wrench, and my knuckles slam against the bike.

I pull my hand away and wipe the blood that begins to bubble to the top. I can’t focus, and everything seems to be going to shit.

I feel like the clubhouse is off the rails, and my position as the VP doesn’t make much of a difference if the Prez is okay with what’s going on.

Kid has a damn seventeen-year-old here; Kincaid has moved his woman in. Things are changing, and I’m not sure it’s for the best. It’s never been this way before. Yeah, we’ve had club pussy that comes and goes, but women have never been a permanent fixture.

I honestly can’t blame them, even though I’ve never been interested in settling down or even have a woman steady enough to call a girlfriend. They seem happier, more willing to get up every day and fight to keep them. I guess that’s what love does to a man.

Even at thirty-two, I can’t see myself committing to one person like they have. I love my freedom, having to answer to no one but the good Lord above. I’m sure having someone to hold at night would be great, but it’s the questions and sense of ownership you have to deal with in the morning that doesn’t appeal to me.

“What has that bike ever done to you?” I hear from the open doorway of the garage.

I scoff at Kincaid and keep working.

“Emmalyn finally get tired of your ass and throw you out?” I say putting down the wrench and picking up a screwdriver.

I look up when he doesn’t answer only to be met with a broad smile and a wink. “She’s taking a nap,” he says quickly.

That’s another thing that’s different. Before Emmalyn came along, it was all parties, hot women, and more sex than any of us could handle. Now… well, now he’s all settled and less talkative.

I’m not saying Kincaid and I had a bromance on any level, but we could shoot the shit, talk about our conquests, go trolling for new pussy.

Of course he doesn’t talk about Emmalyn that way. He wouldn’t be the man I’ve known for years if he disrespected her in that way. I’ve grown to love the woman too. She’s charming, caring, and a better cook than any of the other fuckers in this club, which is a huge benefit when Rose isn’t around.

If this was a different situation I’d joke with him about fucking her into oblivion to the point she can’t keep her eyes open, but I can’t. You don’t talk about someone’s future wife like that. I’m pretty sure he hasn’t asked her yet, but the outcome is inevitable.

“A lady needs her rest,” I say instead.

“You’ve been out here a lot lately,” he says grabbing a beer from the fridge and handing me a fresh one.

I shrug. What else can I do, confess to contemplating the universe?

“We both know there’s nothing wrong with that bike, man. What gives?”

“It’s running too rich,” I lie.

“Tell that lie to someone who doesn’t know better,” he counters.

I smile over at him, hating that he’s one of the few people who will call me on my bullshit.

“What are your thoughts on this whole Kid situation?” I ask taking the focus off of me and throwing that poor bastard under the bus.

“Which aspect?” He asks taking a long swig from his beer bottle.

“She’s seventeen, Prez.” Plain and simple.

“She’s eighteen in a few weeks, and I know that’s not the reason you have an issue with it,” he says giving me a pointed look. “If I recall, you have a thing for the younger ones as well.”

Damn. He has me there. His mention of younger women has my mind drifting back to one dark-haired beauty in particular. It’s been a few months since I met up with Misty at the wedding reception in Denver. I usually don’t go back for more once I’ve been with a woman. My “relationships,” if you can even call them that, with women usually last as long as the mission does, and after we head home that’s the end of it.

Misty being at the reception was just perfect. Having to look for another woman to spend some time with wasn’t really what I wanted to do. I wanted fast, easy. So imagine my surprise when I got the text from Kincaid that I had to get to Ian Hale’s house because of a threat against Emmalyn; I didn’t
want
to leave.

I’m not saying I wanted to snuggle with her or talk about our future together because obviously there isn’t one. No, I wanted to sink into her again and again. Her body is beyond addictive. That’s the only reason I’ve texted her a few times since leaving Denver. I have to make sure she’s still available if I ever end up passing through.

“She’s young, Prez. That means she’s impressionable. Surely you haven’t forgotten about the little competition he’s been working through for years?”

He sits quietly in contemplation for a long moment.

“I’m worried about
her
,” I say in emphasis. “What kind of men are we if we sit back and let him turn an innocent girl into a club whore? That taints everything we’ve been doing for years. It makes us no better than the fuckers we obliterate on missions. We’re going to let this shit happen on our own damn doorstep?”

“I think your perception is a little misguided,” he says with anger in his voice. “Have you seen how he is with her? How he looks at her?” He points toward the open door and pathway that leads to the clubhouse. “I think he’d gut any man who even looked crossways at her. He’s not turning her into a whore. If he wanted to do that, and she was agreeable, she’d have already been under every one of those men in there. She’s seventeen, Shadow. Completely legal in the eyes of this state. That crazy fucker has in his mind that he can’t touch her until she’s eighteen.”

I nod because everything he’s said is the truth. That boy has enough charm to coax the panties off of a nun. If he wanted her before her birthday, he would’ve already sealed the deal. No doubt about that.

“He’s waiting for her. Have you seen him sneaking around and fucking with the other girls?” I shake my head because he’s been so far up Khloe’s ass that he hasn’t had a chance to focus on anyone else.

“I’m pretty sure the sad fucker is falling in love with her,” he continues.

I scoff at that. “Kid doesn’t do love.”

He pats his hand against his thick chest. “Neither did I, but then Em came along. I can tell you brother, no other woman has held a candle to her. I never believed in love at first sight. Insta-love was bullshit until I saw that woman in the bar back in Denver. Did I love her the second I laid eyes on her? Of course not, but some kind of instinct took over. After I saw that piece of shit Bobby hit her, I knew I’d lay down my life to protect her. I think Khloe is that woman for Kid.”