Shadow of Doubt: Part 2 (12 page)

Erebus shrugged. He’d thought the
exact same thing but didn’t bother to say it out loud. He just let
Janus speak.

“If you have to put a dime or quarter
into it, I’m guessing it’s actually a proper pay phone. If it’s
just a regular landline phone, I’d be nervous in testing it out.”
Janus stepped out.

Coty went in and punched in a number.
His cell phone began ringing. “It’s a normal phone. Get it changed
back to a pay phone, and I bet you’re good to go.”

“Sure.”
Whatever
. Erebus didn’t really care
anymore.

Janus reached for a coffee on the
table and found all three empty. “Coty, do you mind grabbing us a
few coffees from the café?” Janus settled into the couch and set
his briefcase on the coffee table, pushing the empty cups
aside.

“Sure.” Coty disappeared out the
apartment door faster than a speeding train.

So much for sticking at his buddy’s
side. Erebus dropped into the chair across from Janus.

“So, it seems you’ve had quite the
experience.”

Erebus blinked in surprise. Had Nanny
told Janus everything? He waited for his handler to share what he
knew. He wasn’t going to be the one who talked first. His
relationship with Aurora might be over, but her life
wasn’t.

“I spoke with Nanny. She seemed not
quite herself. Pretty shaken up.” The corners of Janus’ mouth
curled upwards a few times as though he tried not to laugh. “I
didn’t know you had it in you. You’ve grown some courage and had
enough of her bull, ‘eh?” Janus slapped his knee. “Good for
you.”

“Is she leaving?”

“Oh yeah. Between the tears,
hiccupping, and whining, she managed to say she needed extra funds
to head to the West Coast. She wants to be far away from you. I
have the feeling if she sees you again in the next hundred years,
it’ll be too soon.”

“I’m glad to be rid of her. A
millennium wouldn’t be long enough apart.”

Janus leaned forward and pulled money
out of his briefcase. “I’m leaving you two weeks’ worth of money. I
think you need some space.” He stared questioningly at Erebus. “Do
you need more? Maybe you and Coty should head south for a few
weeks. There’ll be loads of distraction looking for warm weather.
It might do you good.”

It didn’t matter, nor did he care.
“Two weeks is fine.” He got paranoid Janus might come around to
check up on him. “I’ve got extra money around here I can use. Maybe
I’ll head out on my own and let Coty use the apartment for a couple
of weeks. He’d love that.”

Janus laughed as he stood. “I see
you’ve got one of those keyless entry doors. If you do go, make
sure you change the code when you get back. Coty’ll never leave,
otherwise.”

Coty appeared at the door, as if he
knew they were talking about him. He carried two trays full of
cups.

“I didn’t know what you guys felt
like, so I bought an assortment.” He set the cups down on the
coffee table. “I also figured we could add a bit a flavor.” He
pulled a bottle of Bailey’s and Amaretto out of his long coat
pocket.

Janus stayed for one coffee and left.
Coty and Erebus polished off both bottles. Erebus sunk deeper into
himself and finally asked Coty to leave.

“Go hit the bars, Coty. I’m going to
just chill here. I want to be by myself for a bit.”

“So you can wallow in self-pity?” Coty
shook his head and almost fell off the couch. He’d drunk most of
the two bottles. “I can’t let my buddy to that to
himself.”

“Go, please. I’ve had one heck of a
few nights. I’ll be fine.”

“You’re not going to do anything
stupid are you?”

Erebus snorted. “I think I’ve done
enough of that in the past few months.”

Coty grinned. “That’s the Erebus I
know! Take the high road.” He stood up slightly wobbly and patted
Erebus on the back. “We’ll get it sorted. Soon enough this will be
a distant memory.”

Erebus watched Coty leave and sighed.
This pain would always be a fresh wound every night he woke.
Forever. The thought made him wish morning would come that much
faster.

It wasn’t long before Erebus started
to live like a recluse. He rose when the sun set, stayed in his
apartment or in the shadows when Coty forced him to go out. He
refused to go to the Rum Jungle or anywhere near the college. He
didn’t want to risk running into Aurora, for her sake but mainly
for his. So instead he stayed close to his studio apartment, or on
the other side of town, unsure what he might do if he saw
her.

He despised his meager existence, but
Aurora deserved a chance to live her life. She’d probably already
moved on. Every thought was constantly about her. He couldn’t let
go, and his heart bled with every beat. He’d never get over her,
and didn’t want to. Her memory was fresh with each sunset. Closing
his eyes, he could smell her sunshine scent and hear her husky
laugh. He reached out to touch her soft skin and disappointment
filled him when he realized she wasn’t there. Each evening it hurt
to open his eyes again.

Winter came and went. Spring arrived
with a fresh wave of depression. One evening, he grew so angry with
himself. He was hurting everyone around him. Coty had just left,
but not after spending an hour trying to beg Erebus to move away.
Coty offered to go anywhere with his buddy. Erebus ignored him and
Coty finally gave up and left for a sorority party on
campus.

Disappointed in himself again, Erebus
vowed to try and make things better. He began clearing all memory
of Aurora from the apartment. The first thing seemed the hardest.
It took him a long time to build up the courage to erase her from
his cell phone contacts. His fingers burned, and it spread all the
way up his arm to his chest as he blocked her number. The he stood
and rushed about the apartment, grabbing a scarf she’d left,
tearing up the note she’d written and more. He threw out all his
bed sheets and stared at the stripped bed. It looked pathetic, like
him,

He took any hint of her he’d kept
around as a memento and began tossing them in a box. It took all
his strength to dump the box in the garbage outside and dart back
in before he could change his mind. Stepping back into his
apartment, he went straight into the bedroom and stopped short.
Should he throw the picture of Ithaca Falls out?

Sighing, he shut the light off and
closed the door. He just wouldn’t go in the room until he was
ready. It wasn’t like he needed to go in there. He grabbed his cell
off the coffee table and sent a text to Coty, telling him he’d meet
up. The sudden urge to get out of the apartment made him willing to
set foot on campus.

It was a mistake.

He ended up at the Rum Jungle with
Coty, Reece, and a large group of freshmen girls. Everywhere his
eyes travelled, he kept seeing reminders of Aurora; a girl with
wavy blonde hair, a pitcher of margaritas in the crowd, even in a
group of girls on the dance floor. His heart pounded in his chest.
He couldn’t breathe. He left Coty and Reece just before last call,
wandering the streets and finally ending up by Ithaca Falls. It was
no longer the thinking place it had once been. He hated it. He
hated the bridge he crossed to get there. Where Aurora and he
shared their first kiss. A dam broke open and more memories came
flooding back.

Erebus could feel dawn approaching.
His skin began to crawl, and anxiety piled on top of the memories
drowning him. He loved her, needed her, and missed her. He didn’t
want immortality—he never had. Destiny had made a mistake in
choosing him as a Shadow. He just wanted it to end, more than he
wanted anything in his life.

He tried to stay at the bank of the
falls and let dawn give him the closure and darkness he sought.
Instinct carried him away, and he ended up walking the streets. He
refused to let his legs break into a run, even as his body begged
his brain to find a phone booth and stop the madness inside of
him.

Dawn was seconds away. He rejected his
body’s call for help. No longer able to think clearly, or see
properly, he thought he saw a pay phone a few feet in front of him.
Half mad, he clung to a lamppost to stop his body from pulling
itself to the booth. He laughed deliriously when he saw shadows,
like fingers, creep towards him on the sidewalk, ready to swallow
him up.

His hands loosened their death grip on
the pole, and he stumbled backwards, losing his footing. He felt
the darkness that had begun to seep into the edges of his mind
begin to take over everything. As his head hit the pavement, he
thought he heard an explosion, like a bomb, erupt close by. Just
before he passed out, he felt sunlight on his face, and he smiled.
It felt like an angel caressing his cheek.

Chapter 11

Goodbye

Darkness surrounded him, but
he could hear noise. Beeps, clicks, hums, and moans echoed inside
his head. He tried not to move. This wasn’t some nightmare, or a
dream of any kind. He knew if he twitched or even shifted slightly,
his entire body would scream out in pain. He’d never known physical
pain but now had a new respect for humankind.
Impossible
. He smirked. The smile
hurt, but the realization allowed him to tolerate the
soreness.

Had the Night Council done something
to him? What had happened? He tried to piece his last moments of
consciousness together. A small, pleading hope entered his
thoughts. Could he have somehow become real? A living, breathing,
possibly dying, mortal?

The dying thought made him pause.
Lying on his side, he slowly cracked his eyes open. In the
semi-darkness, it was impossible to tell if it was early morning or
the start of nightfall. He couldn’t tell and didn’t really care.
Forcing himself to sit, he sucked in a sharp breath and bit back a
groan. Gingerly, he reached for the floor, grabbing a thin pole
beside his bed. The pole nearly sent him flying. The darn thing had
wheels. He glared at it and saw it held a drip bag which was
connected to his arm. The metal felt cool in his grasp as he
dragged it across the room and stumbled into the bathroom. A small,
dismal light shone in the room, without touching a switch. It took
two unsteady steps to reach the porcelain sink he now held onto
tightly. He looked in the mirror above. If he didn’t hurt so much,
he’d have laughed at the face looking back at him.

Stitches lined his right cheek. He’d
cut his lip, and both eyes showed spots of black and blue. It
looked like he’d gotten into a fight with the exploding telephone
booth and lost miserably. However, it wasn’t that his face was
comical; it was his hair. His always perfectly-styled hair had
major bed-head. Clumps stuck out in every direction, flattened in
places it had always been straight. What in the world was
happening? Could this be some kind of dream or fantasy before
waking? If felt so real. He shifted, and inhaled a long deep
breath. Pain shot through his body like a bolt of lightning. The
familiar feeling of slipping away in darkness scared him. He had
little time to consider it, as unconsciousness erased all his
thoughts.

Darkness seemed to cling
to his body. He thrashed and tried to break free. Voices he felt
should be familiar to him sounded foreign. Whatever was happening,
he had to be losing his mind. Unless… Unless he pushed forward to
the scent of sunshine he could smell. He moved towards it,
exhausted and unsure but whatever or whoever he was, he understood
that was the ticket to his freedom.

He woke later, not sure how much time
had passed, but the room was still in semi-darkness. Refusing to
move his head even a bit, he brought a shaky hand to his temple.
His head felt like a jackhammer had been pounding it all day. Even
breathing created sharp pain. Confused, he tried to think about who
he was and what happened to put him where he now lay. Every answer
came back blank. He couldn’t remember.

One of his hands had a needle
connected to it, taped and padded, with a tube travelling to a bag
containing clear liquid. Its quiet drip could barely be heard
between another steady beeping noise. His hand dropped to his
chest, where he felt more wires, and realized the other slow beep
was his heart rate. Glancing towards the window, he caught a
glimpse of the last dwindling rays of sunlight. It was beautiful,
like he’d never seen it before. He swore his eyes were glazing so
he blinked back the strange excess water inside of them.

Confused, he wondered what happened
and if he might be in a hospital. It was terrifying and yet, with
daylight now dwindling away, he felt oddly comforted.

“Good evening, Aaron.”

He jumped, wincing as he
twisted his head towards the door.
That
guy’s definitely a doctor. Aaron? It seems like it should be my
name, but it also feels like part of it’s missing. That doesn’t
make sense…Focus, the guy’s talking.

The voice belonged to a clean-shaven,
fortyish man in a lab coat, with a stethoscope hanging around his
neck. The man looked fit and orderly; even his dark curly hair was
neatly in place. “Do you remember me?”

Aaron shook his head.

The doctor smiled. He had a confident
face and looked quite pleased about something.