Shadow of Love (26 page)

‘
What are you doing here all alone? I thought I left you in safe hands,
habbibi
.’ An amused voice broke through her thoughts, and she looked up, surprised. James stood together with two other men, his face relaxed into a friendly grin. His partners seemed delighted to meet her, and she had no choice but to join them, another half hour passing before they finally bid their goodbyes.

‘
I hope you didn’t mind it, Emily.’ James watched her face, smiling apologetically. ‘I would have lost them if possible, but here the word travels fast, and they were very curious about my girlfriend.’

They walked out of the hotel to the gardens that ended at a steep cliff overlooking the sea. He asked if she was up for a brief stroll, obviously reluctant to return to his grandmother’s home. Unwinding here was definitely easier with the light breeze bringing the intoxicating fragrance of gardenias mixed with the salty taste of the waves crashing against the rocks below.

She agreed, wanting to be alone with him for a moment longer. It was wrong and it was hopeless, she thought as he led her down the wide, circular staircase to the gravel-filled path that disappeared into the darkness of the trees. The hotel was ablaze with lights, the strategically placed lamps casting their warm glow on the network of paths leading around its manicured lawns. She saw their shadows, distorted and fragile, move with them as they walked to the distant gazebo. It offered an unobstructed view of the silver water of the sea bathed in the light of the moon.

‘
Won’t it make it difficult for you, once we’re done?’ she asked hesitantly, hating the weakness of her voice. ‘I mean, they will all want to know what happened.’ She tried again, pleased to sound stronger. ‘Or, do you think they will be tactful enough to let it be?’

‘
God, no.’ He smiled at her, his white teeth glistening in the darkness and making her think of a predatory wolf. ‘Of course they will be wondering. That’s the way things are around here. But I’m not around for most of the time, and, quite frankly, it doesn’t bother me what people say about me behind my back.’

‘
I wish I could say the same,’ she whispered bitterly, shivering uncontrollably as the wind rose from the sea and ruffled her hair. ‘I can just imagine what kind of things Sophie’s friends will say about me, once we let the cat out of the bag. I might need to hide for a while to avoid the worst of it.’

‘
Do you really think she has so many friends?’ She felt his jacket going around her shoulders, the fragrance of his skin still lingering in its folds, making it difficult to breathe properly. ‘Then why is she so dependent on you, Emily? I would risk saying that she has some acolytes, hoping to climb the social rungs while in her presence. But honestly, I think that she is a difficult person to befriend and even more difficult to stay friends with.’

‘
I don’t want to talk about my sister,’ she said quietly, the idea of discussing Sophie’s flaws behind her back unbearable. Never one to gossip, Emily recoiled from the thought of putting down the woman she was about to betray.

‘
Neither do I,’ he agreed easily, watching her with a speculative gaze. ‘Tell me about Steve, then. What was it like to have him for a stepdad? I remember times when I wished he would become mine, but it wasn’t meant to be.’

Was that part of his grudge against Marlene and her daughter—the fact that Steve Masden fell for the beautiful widow and failed to notice his own mother? No, she couldn’t quite believe that, she decided, her body suddenly shaking as she remembered her times with Steve.

‘
He was… fun,’ she said, surprised by her own words. It was the first thing that came to her mind, impulsive and unstoppable. ‘He made our family life much more interesting. It was his idea to expand the vegetable garden and start the coop with chickens, something Marlene was very much against at first.

‘
He was a very down to earth guy, that’s for sure.’ James seemed relaxed, his voice soft and warm as he reminisced about the man who had left such a huge imprint on his whole life.

Emily realized that most probably she was the only person he could talk to about it, no one else closer to Steve than the two of them. It must have felt liberating to find someone else who cared for the man and who understood what a kind and caring person he really was. Unfortunately, James didn’t think she did understand. How could he? The way things turned out, he must have thought her as shallow as the rest of her family.

Suddenly she couldn’t bear it. She couldn’t stand the idea of him considering her nothing more than a selfish brat who let down not only her stepdad but also the principles of justice and truthfulness. He had to know that she had tried, even if it didn’t change anything at all. Maybe then she could walk away with her head held high, knowing that even though he didn’t care for her, at least she had his respect.

She had to try.

The darkness of the night that surrounded them like a warm cocoon helped with her resolve. She glanced into his face, illuminated with the silvery light of the moon, glad for the merciful shadows that made it impossible to read every detail of his expression. It might discourage her from what she wanted to do, determined to lift a bit of the shroud of mystery that surrounded the last days of her stepfather.

James deserved it, if only to allow him to find some closure and stop blaming himself for not being there. She knew he did, even though he hadn’t put it into words. The guilt of being too far away to be of any help ate him away, destroying the happier part of him that she had come to… like, she finished lamely, horrified at the turn her thoughts were taking.

‘
The year Steve was married to Marlene was a pretty happy one,’ she started, hoping he would let her continue. Her courage could only go so far, and if he interrupted or made some disparaging remark, it would disappear and silence her for good.

James must have understood, because he listened in silence, only the slightest tensing of his neck telling her that he knew what she was trying to do. He didn’t move or say anything, his eyes spurring her on to continue.

‘
It was a happy year,’ she repeated, her voice stronger. ‘Marlene is a lot of things you might not like, but she has this gift of making men happy. I am not quite sure what it is or how it works, but I’ve seen it both with my dad and Steve, this
joie de vivre
that she managed to bring into their lives. Steve fell for her in a matter of weeks, and I honestly believe that she cared for him, too.’

She glanced at James, taking in his carved in stone expression and knew he doubted it, given what happened later. But it was the truth, and she had to make him see it, no matter what.

‘
They were very happy together as opposites complementing each other in pretty much everything. Marlene is vivacious, happy, and very chatty, and Steve was rather quiet, enjoying her doing all the talking.

‘
I was very happy for them, too,’ she added, smiling at her memories. ‘I mean, my father passed away after only a short marriage to her, and she was devastated. Being a widow once is bad enough, but to go through it twice must be horrible.’

She could tell he had little compassion for Marlene, his dark eyes as impassive as the black rocks that stood out against the outline of the starlit sky.

‘
It all happened because of Sophie’s unfortunate infatuation with an older man,’ she whispered, hoping that saying it aloud didn’t make her seem vengeful. ‘She was dating this man who was married and had two teen-aged children. Marlene had no clue, and neither did Steve.’

‘
But you did, didn’t you.’ It was a statement, not a question. He looked at her with an odd expression that made her regret her earlier resolve to tell him what happened. Was he blaming her for what happened?

‘
Yes, she told me about it. You could say she enjoyed shocking me, which wasn’t very hard. I was very naïve and couldn’t really understand why she would do such a thing in the first place. I remember asking her if she loved this man, and what did she plan to do about it. She just laughed and told me to grow up. It wasn’t that much about love as it was her need to control something and feel she was taken seriously.’

She continued, knowing that what would follow next would be painful to both of them—her to speak, and him to hear.

‘
The man’s wife came over. I don’t even remember her name now.’ She was grateful for the darkness that concealed the tears that would soon spill over. ‘She found out about his affair and was frantic. Steve was at home; Marlene and Sophie were away on some shopping spree. He got to hear the whole miserable story, and you can imagine his reaction. I think he was absolutely flabbergasted, believing in Sophie being the perfect girl, a picture painted by Marlene from day one.’

He slid closer, his warm hands closing over her cold, nervous fingers. The warmth spreading from his grip gave her the strength to carry on.

‘
He confronted Sophie when she came home. I guess he didn’t want to embarrass her in front of Marlene, hoping that she would see reason if he told her how impossible her behavior was. I often thought that this was his biggest mistake, not involving Marlene in this unholy mess. He picked the moment when she was busy in the restaurant and talked to Sophie, but was soon frustrated with her reckless attitude. I overheard some of it accidentally before I managed to tiptoe away, and neither of them saw me.’

‘
Steve always cared for proper behavior.’ James nodded, his voice calm. He was taking it very well, and she could only hope for it to stay that way.

‘
Sophie laughed at him at first,’ Emily whispered, her voice quivering with memories. ‘But then, as he got mad and threatened to tell Marlene and ground her for the next month, she realized he really meant it. I think it was the first time she had ever seen him mad, and it frightened her more than she liked to admit it. If there was one thing about Sophie, it was her need to remain in control of people around her and her own emotions, always. She hated to appear weak and needy.’

‘
I would call it manipulation, Emily,’ he responded calmly, his warm palm oddly reassuring. ‘What happened next?’

‘
She was so furious,’ she whispered, recalling her sister’s distorted face and stormy eyes. ‘She told me she would make him pay for embarrassing her like that—treating her like a little kid, when she was almost eighteen and perfectly able to make her own choices.’

She stood up, unable to sit and speak about the horror of what happened the following day.

‘
The next day was my dentist’s appointment. Marlene wanted to come along because they were supposed to measure my teeth for braces, and she was worried they would try to sell us some expensive version. So she tagged along and waited for me to be done.’

She turned around, facing away from him as she continued, her voice shaking.

‘
We came home quite late, with traffic and all. Steve was away. It was his chess game night with his buddies from the force; they did it every Friday.’

Why was it so difficult to speak? She felt as if some invisible hand pressed down at her chest, robbing her of air and the strength to carry on.

‘
We found Sophie huddled in her closet. She was all bloody, and her clothes were in shreds. She was babbling something we couldn’t understand at first, and Marlene was just reaching for her phone to call Steve when she screamed at her not to do it, because it was him who did it to her in the first place. After that, all hell broke loose.’

She stopped, surprised by the sound of sobs breaking the serene night air silence. It took her a second to realize it was her, tears streaming down her face.

She felt him come up and hold her, his arms going around her, pulling her back to him until she rested against the solid wall of his chest, his steady heartbeat palpable through her thin dress.

‘
Marlene was absolutely insane,’ she continued, her lips trembling. ‘Something must have snapped inside her, and it was scaring me to death. I think now that it terrified Sophie, as well, because she didn’t really plan this thing through at all. Marlene called the police and demanded them to go arrest Steve for sexual assault and rape. She didn’t even stop for a second to think about letting him tell his side of the story. It was as if he stopped existing to her, completely and irrevocably. Sophie was taken to the hospital and kept overnight, while Marlene dealt with the police. Steve came back, bewildered and speechless at the accusations. I saw his face, and it broke my heart.’

‘
He was exonerated, though. Didn’t it mean anything to her?’ He asked roughly, his hands heavy on her shoulders. She felt as if the weight of guilt she had felt for so long finally materialized to push her down to the ground.

‘
No, it didn’t matter. The doctor checked Sophie and concluded there was no rape. Still, they discovered traces of his hair under her nails, which she said happened during the fight. I suspect she sneaked into his bathroom and raided his comb, leaving little to coincidence. The blood on her face and hands was her own, the scratches on her legs most probably the source of it. By the end of the night two psychologists spoke to her, and they both concluded she was very inconsistent with her story, changing the facts all the time. First she said Steve assaulted her in her bedroom and then in his, after the police decided there were absolutely no signs of struggle around her room. I guess she was so preoccupied with staging herself for this show, she forgot that detail. And then there was the fact that Steve was with his friends for most of the evening. He had left earlier, planning to drive to the store and buy some refreshments for the night out. That was what he said to us when he was leaving. Sophie heard him and hoped to use it as a proof he had enough time to come back and attack her when she was alone. What she didn’t count on was the fact he changed his mind and drove straight to his friend’s house; the forty minutes she planned to frame him in never happened. She didn’t know it when the police asked her about the evening, and it was only after they confronted her with his stay at his friend’s home, confirmed by all his friends, that she became all frantic and claimed to be in shock.’