Authors: Casey L. Bond,Anna G. Coy
We wound through the tunnels and came up on the other end of the aquarium. Jax pulled me quickly through the hallways to a small nook beside the seahorses. It was dark and no one else was around. He pressed me into the corner and kissed down my neck. Whimpers escaped from my mouth. We necked like ninth graders until an employee trying to get into the access door behind me cleared his throat. I straightened and tried to look adult-like. Clearing my throat. “Oh, excuse us.”
Jax silently laughed. I smacked his chest. We walked to the edge of the ray tank where we sat on our knees and leaned over to pet the slimy, slick creatures. They felt like rubber coated in snot. It was disgusting. Not as disgusting as holding the horseshoe crabs, but almost. At the end of our visit, I had to use the bathroom, so I ran for the little girl’s room.
A universal fact: every women’s restroom in America was always packed, crowded and a line formed outside every single one. No lie. All of the water sounds in the place had me almost doing the pee-pee dance. Finally, a stall opened and I ran for it.
When I came out of the restroom, Jax stood leaning against a nearby wall with a bag in his hand. “What’s that?”
“Pictures.”
“You bought our picture?”
“I bought a picture for each of us and a key chain picture, too.”
Aww. I kissed his face.
We stopped at Johnny Rockets, a malt-shop type place and ate burgers and drank chocolate shakes. Thank God for the anti-nausea medicine. I’d put back on five pounds already! Never thought I’d be happy about gaining weight, but I was.
After dinner, Jax drove down the strip into a less-commercial part of town and parked in front of a tattoo parlor: Taboo Tattoos.
“You’re getting a tattoo?”
“Yep.”
“What are you getting?”
“You’ll see.”
Two and a half hours later, I marveled at Jaxon’s finished tattoo and imagined how amazing it would look on his muscular forearm once the swelling and redness went away. He’d gotten an intricate chess piece, the king, in black ink. Driving home, I kept looking over at his new ink. “Your tattoo is amazing, Jax. What does it mean?”
He smirked. “I’ll tell you one day.”
“Seriously?”
“Yep.”
“You suck.”
He chuckled. “Sometimes.”
I grumbled, “Now is
definitely one of those times.”
Celeste had to
go out of town, though she wouldn’t divulge where she was going. I felt better, so I had offered to open the store during the day for her. I quietly worked on some crochet pieces that I’d been lagging behind on. I’d been lagging behind on a lot. I was a lagger.
At noon, the bell on the door sounded and I looked up to find June walking in, a huge smile plastered on her face and a bag of greasy lunch in her hand. “Brought you some lunch.”
I smiled and sat down my project. “Awesome. Thank you!”
“How are you feeling?”
“Okay today.”
“Good.”
“How is Brody?”
A sly grin
crept onto her face. “He’s wonderful.”
“Aww, someone’s in love.”
She sighed. “Yeah. I think I am.”
“You have that dreamy look.”
“He’s amazing. I don’t know why I didn’t notice him before now. It would’ve saved so much trouble.”
Giggling at her, I looked up when the door sounded again. A girl around my age with dark brown, silky hair and a very noticeable baby bump
, waddled into the room. I stood up and walked to her. “Hi. Can I help you find anything?”
She smiled. “Well, maybe. I was wondering if you might know Jaxon Harrison.”
My stomach and smiled dropped. “Sure. I know Jax.”
She blew out a thankful breath. “Thank God. I can’t very well go to Shady.” She pointed at her belly. “I’ve stopped by a few times and called his cell but he hasn’t returned my calls.”
“Oh, um, I can try to call him for you.”
“That would be amazing. I tried knocking on his door, but he isn’t answering.”
She knew where he lived? I looked at June who shrugged lightly. “He probably went running.”
“Oh, are you his neighbor?”
“Yeah. I live in the townhouse next to his.”
“Well, you are so sweet. I really appreciate your help.”
I pulled a chair out for her and she sank into it with a sigh. My fingers shook as I dialed Jax’s cell phone.
“What’s up, baby?” I could hear the wind in the background.
“Hey, could you come to the shop for a few minutes?”
“Sure. I went for a jog
, but I’m almost back.”
“Okay.”
“Everything okay? Are you sick?”
“No. I’m fine. Just stop by for a minute, please.”
“Be there in ten.” The red ‘Call ended’ sign flashed across the bottom of my screen. I wondered if that’s all that had ended with that conversation.
June went in
for the kill. “So, who are you and why do you need Jaxon?”
Way to be subtle, Juney.
I gave her an ‘I’m gonna kill you’ look and she returned it with a ‘bring it on’ look of her own.
Rubbing her round belly, she sighed. “My name’s Hannah. I, well, Jax and I were together for a while and I sort of wound up pregnant. I was going to try to raise the baby on my own and not involve him, but I need to go to school and it looks like I’ll need some help after all.” Shame filled her features and she looked at the floor. Why’d she have to be so sweet?
“How long were you with Jax?” June interrogated.
“Just a couple of weeks.”
“Look, I don’t mean to be rude, but are you sure it’s Jaxon’s baby?” June asked.
Hannah stiffened and sat up tall in the chair. “Look, can I just wait for Jax. This is none of your business.”
Somewhere deep down, I knew she was telling the truth. It was Jaxon’s baby. And Hannah was perfect. Even her name mixed with his was perfect: Hannah Harrison. With her pert nose and rosy cheeks, she’d even be the picture-perfect PTO mom.
Hannah crossed her arms and tried to look very interested in the candle selection. June nudged me and nodded to the door. Jaxon was just outside. His muscles rippled as he jogged up the sidewalk. I gulped. He opened the door, smiling and made his way toward me. But when I darted my eyes toward Hannah, he stopped abruptly.
“Hannah?”
“Hey
, Jaxon.” She stood up. “I’ve tried to reach you, but couldn’t get through. I really need to talk to you.” She looked at me and then June and then added, “Privately.”
Jaxon ran his hand through his hair, looking nervously at me, but addressing Hannah, he said, “Uh, sure. Let’s go outside.”
June all but plastered herself behind the curtains in the window. “They’re on the sidewalk. Wait! They’re crossing the street. Now they’re going into his house. The door closed.”
I picked up my lunch and threw it away. I felt sick and it wasn’t from the chemo.
Hannah had been
calling off and on for weeks. When Mercy called to ask if I’d come to the shop, Hannah was the last thing on my mind. I slept with the girl once. No, twice last fall. Both times I’d used protection and she’d assured me that she was on the pill. There was no way this baby was mine, as she was trying to persuade me. She was a sweet girl, but obviously thought the couple of nights we spent together meant something more than it did. I’d been upfront about the whole thing. I didn’t do relationships. She seemed cool with that, until a few weeks afterward. Then the texting and phone calls started. Those were constant until she showed up at Shady once and I flipped out on her and told her never to step foot in my bar again.
“Jaxon. Say something.”
“We used protection.”
She huffed. “It’s not one hundred percent.”
“You said you were on the pill.”
I sat across from her in the armchair while she leaned back into the couch. Her stomach kept staring at me. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of it. What if she was right?
“It’s not one hundred percent guaranteed either.”
“I want a paternity test.” Her mouth gaped open.
“I wasn’t with anyone else, Jaxon!”
“Well then you won’t have a problem consenting to the test. When are you due?”
“In a month.”
I nodded. “Tell you what, call me when you have the baby and we’ll have the test done. If the child is mine, I’ll take care of it. If it’s not, you leave me alone, Hannah. Understood?”
She nodded and sniffed.
“Will you answer your phone? I’ve called and called and you haven’t answered.”
“I’ll answer your calls. But don’t call me every damn minute. Just call if you go into labor, okay?”
Something was up with her. I didn’t know what, but I’d bet my left nut that this baby was not mine. We’d been careful. I’d always been careful.
“Fine. Help me up.”
I did and then I walked her to the door. I watched her descend the steps and start down the road. She lived way on the south end of Myrtle. “Where’s your ride?”
She stopped. “I don’t have a car now.”
Shit. I grabbed my keys and shoved my flops back on. I was a jerk, but no way
was I making a pregnant chick walk sixty blocks by herself. “Get in the damn car.” I clicked the unlock button on the key fob and shook my head. This shit cannot be happening. My thoughts kept drifting back to Mercy. What had Hannah said to her?
The past several
weeks had been a blur. More chemo. Puking. Working at the shop and crocheting when I can. More puking. More chemo. June hanging out with me every chance she got. Me avoiding Jaxon like the plague. More chemo.
Hannah had called him when she went into labor. He’d stayed with her while she was there. I guess she didn’t have anyone else. Her family lived in Nebraska. She’d moved to Myrtle last summer to attend school and make a life here on her own. I guess I could relate to that. Jaxon had been acting weird around me, or maybe I just felt strange around him now.
Either way, it was just jacked up, the whole situation. One of the chemo’s side effects: chest pain. I’d had a lot of that, but it wasn’t from the drugs. It was because the Jaxon/Hannah situation was slowly tearing my heart in two. I was losing him. I was losing the only man I’d ever loved, and one of the only people on earth who’d loved me unconditionally.
I spun my wedding ring on my left finger. I don’t know why I still wore it. Jaxon had taken his off after Hannah had infiltrated our lives. I guess the writing was on that wall. We would be divorcing soon.
My ears were nearly bleeding as I sat in the waiting room for Dr. Golden. Nurse Linda called me back. “You’re always here,” I told her.
“Usually.” She smiled, leading me to be weighed. “You are up three more pounds! Great job, Mercy!”
“Thank you. I’m feeling a lot better.”
“You look great. Ready for the test?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be.”
She looked at her charts and nodded. “Let’s get it over with, then. Do you have a ride home?”
“Yeah. June brought me and will pick me up on her lunch hour.”
As I vomited
into the toilet, my phone was ringing off the hook. Tears squeezed from my eyes. I gripped the bowl for dear life, with shaking arms. I was sitting on my knees but my thighs trembled like the bones inside were made of Jell-O. I dried my mouth and flushed, washed and dried my hands and finally made it to the bedside table, where the phone kept ringing.
“Hello.”
“Mercy?”
“Daddy?”
“You’re sick. Is someone there with you?”
“I’m fine. Just a rough round this time. I haven’t been this sick for
a while.”
“I wish I could be there for you, baby girl.”
“I know, Daddy. I’m okay. I’m going to get through this.”
“Where’s Jaxon?”
“I don’t know. Probably at work.”
“Celeste?”
“At the shop.”
“June”
“Working.”
He muttered a curse. “Daddy, I promise. I’m sick at my stomach, but I’m okay.”
“Listen, I have some bad news.”
“What?”
“I’m being transferred.”
“Where?” My heart almost stopped.
“Greenville, Illinois. FCI Greenville.”
“Why are they moving you? I thought you’d stay there until you’d served your time.”
“No. It’s overcrowded here. Greenville has room so...”
“When are you going?”
“I’ll be here for about a week.”
A harsh voice barked in the background. “Time’s up.”
“Look, I’ve gotta go, baby. Don’t worry. They’ll forward my mail and I’ll write you with how to get in touch. I love you.”
Tears pricked my eyes. “I love you, too, Daddy.”
The dial tone rang loudly in my ear, just before my stomach started lurching again. I ran back to the toilet.
June pulled up
to the curb at the Myrtle Beach International Airport. She pushed her sunglasses up on her head. Her eye shadow was beautiful and expertly applied, dark purple and all June. “Are you sure you should be doing this? Did you ever call Doc Golden?”
“I’m fine. I’ll be back in time for my next appointment. I have the tickets and want to see him before they send him even further away.”
“I wish I could go with you.”
I sighed. “I wish you could, too. But I’ll be back before you even know I’m gone.”
I stepped out of the car and grabbed my backpack. My flight to Yeager Airport in Charleston, West Virginia departed in an hour and a half. I’d never flown before. Watching the planes taxi in and out of the tarmac was neat and scary, but mostly awesome. It was a beautiful Tuesday morning, clear skies and sunshine. I went through security and waited for them to call my boarding group. When I heard the number, I walked onto the plane and found my seat. Cinching the seatbelt, I turned the little vent toward my face. There were little doggie bags tucked into the pouch on the back of the seat in front of me. I prayed I wouldn’t need them. I’d felt good yesterday and this morning.
As the plane lifted into the sky, my stomach plummeted. Once we evened out, I was in awe. I was in the sky! Above the clouds and what I could see looked so tiny and insignificant. I watched the view from my tiny window as we descended and those tiny things grew much larger, much closer. When the plane neared the runway, I pressed my foot to the floor, pushing the brake I knew wasn’t there, but wanted to slam on anyway.
My heart thumped and I was breathing frantically. A kind stewardess clapped me on the shoulder. “You did great for a first-timer.”
I groaned. “That obvious?”
She just grinned and made her way to the front where from her intercom she thanked us for flying with them, let us know that it was a hazy, hot, eighty-four degrees outside and bid us farewell. The humidity hit me in the face as soon as I left the building. It was like a brick wall of hot stickiness.
Luckily, a cab sat out front. Soon, the cabbie was driving me to FCI Ashland. Daddy had no idea I was coming and I was excited to see his face. But my thoughts kept drifting to Jaxon. He’d called, texted, stopped by the shop, and had even pounded on my door one night at three in the morning. Obviously drunk, he slurred for me to “stop
hiding, stop running away.”
He declared his undying love and said that Hannah’s baby, if it was his, would just become a part of our lives and that we could get past it. But I didn’t see how. If it was his child, he and Hannah would be linked for life, by the one they’d created.
I wasn’t upset or angry. It wasn’t like he’d cheated on me. I guess I was mostly sad. As much as I loved him, if the child was his, he needed to give Hannah a chance at a real relationship with him. If after that it didn’t work out with the two of them, then fine. But he owed her at least that. Or, I thought so anyway.
I paid the cabbie, which was extremely expensive due to the nearly fifty mile ride. Screened and approved, I waited for Daddy in the visiting area, under the watchful eyes of the correctional officers stationed in there for visiting hours. When he saw me, his eyes lit up and a huge smile spread across his face. “Mercy!”
“Hi, Daddy!”
He hugged me tight to him and then pushed me back. I could see him looking at my bald head.
“Fashion statement. Remember Sinead O’Connor?”
He laughed and hugged me again before the guard cleared his throat. Time to move across the table from one another.
“What are you doing here?”
“Jax bought me tickets for my birthday, so I figured I’d better use them before you move.”
He smiled and nodded. “God, it’s good to see you. I’ve missed your smile.”
Tears flooded my eyes and I felt like I was five years old. “I hate it that you have to move. I don’t know when I’ll get to see you again.” Pointing to my head, “
Or if I’ll get to see you again.”
“Mercy,” he said sternly. “You are going to survive this. Don’t even let that kind of thinking in, baby girl.”
I nodded. Surprisingly, the young guard nearby handed me a tissue. I thanked him and he nodded and looked away.
“Tell me about Jaxon.”
And boy, did I ever. I told him everything--about Hannah, about him demanding a paternity test, how he said they’d been safe, how I could barely stand to look at him, how I needed distance in case I had to let him go.”
“You’re being too hard on him.”
I ticked my head back. “What?”
“He loves you. He doesn’t love this Hannah girl, does he?”
I blew out a harsh breath and sank back in my chair. “I don’t think so.”
“If the baby is his, he’ll do the right thing, be there for the child. You can be a part of that, too.”
“But shouldn’t he give Hannah a chance if she’s the mother of his baby.”
“Shouldn’t that be his choice? Look, if he wanted to give her a chance, he would have done it the minute her pregnant ass waddled back into his life. But he’s pulling for you. He wants you, baby.”
I nodded and sniffed. We spent time talking about his roommate, how he was able to work outside now and enjoyed it.
“You should stop and check on her, you know.”
I groaned. “I don’t want to. If she’s worse, I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle it right now. I don’t know if I can handle anything else right now.”
He nodded. “She’s still in there, somewhere.”
Shit. Now, I’d have to stop and see Mama. “I’ll stop by.” I added, “But if she’s bat-shit crazy, I’m not staying.”
He laughed. “Deal.”
“Deal.”
When our time was up, I squeezed Daddy for all that I was worth and then watched them escort him back inside the prison.