Shady Bay (19 page)

The cab pulled
up outside of my old home, or the place I’d called home ever since Daddy was locked up. It was dilapidated on the outside, paint peeling, front porch posts rotting. If this was any indication of what awaited me inside, I was dreading this visit.

“Can you wait here for a few minutes?”

“Gotta let the meter run.”

“Fine. Just wait here. Don’t leave.”

I walked up the front walkway, up the stairs of the porch and rang the bell. Nothing. I rang it again and finally heard footsteps approaching. The door swung open and Mama stood in front of me. It was three fifteen in the afternoon and she was in her old worn nightgown, a robe hung off her shoulders haphazardly.

“I ain’t buyin’ any.”

She tried to shut the door but I caught it.

“I’m not selling anything, Mama. Jesus.”

She turned around. “Mercy?”

“What the hell happened to your hair?”

“Are you drunk or high?”

She huffed. “Neither right now, unfortunately.
” It was true. Her hands shook violently. She needed some booze, or a hit of something.

“Well, what happened to it? You look like shit.”

She started to walk back into the house and I knew I couldn’t follow her. Not now.

“I’m just stopping by. Can’t come in, Mama.” She stared at me. “Oh, and I have cancer, by the way.”

Her mouth dropped open and she covered it with her bony fingers. “What?”

“Breast cancer. But you’d know that if you cared about me more than your next drink or puff or hit, huh?”

“Mercy, I—”

“Stop. I don’t need this. Daddy asked me to check on you and I did. I’m going back home now.”

I turned to leave. As I walked away, she yelled, “Where’s home?”

“Myrtle Beach. Look me up if you ever get sober. Maybe you could come visit, if I live long enough, Mom.”

I sat in the cab and let the tears run down my face all the way back to Charleston. I had to take an evening flight back to Myrtle. The flights only ran two days a week, two flights on those days, so unless I wanted to be stuck in West Virginia until the weekend, I was flying back the same day.

My cell phone
buzzed when I landed.

Jax: I’m outside the airport. June asked me to pick you up.

Mercy: K. See you in a minute.

I was going to kill June, with my bare hands. Twice. True to his word, Jaxon was outside the main entrance, leaning against his car. Silent, he opened my door and helped me inside. He walked around and settled behind the steering wheel. It was almost nine o’clock at night.

“Have you had dinner?”

“No.”

He pulled the car into a little burger joint and ordered my favorite at the drive-thru intercom, then refused my money and paid for it himself. More silence. It was more than awkward.

When we parked outside our homes, he helped me out, grabbed my hand and led me out onto the beach.

We sat next to one another and I ate my burger and fries, taking sips of Pepsi in between. “You left without me.”

“Sorry.”

“Why’d you go?”

“Daddy’s being transferred early next week. He’s being moved to a low-security prison in Illinois.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Damn it, Mercy. I’m sorry. But I really wish you’d have let me go with you.”

“I’m fine, Jax. I don’t need you to take care of me.”

He pinned me with his pale green eyes. “Then who will? And tell me this, what exactly do you need? You don’t need me. You don’t need June or Celeste, right? They’re your only friends and you’re pushing them away, too. You don’t need your Daddy and hate your Mama. Am I getting close? What do you need, Mercy?”

Tears blurred my eyes. “I don’t know.”

“You want pity?”

“Hell no! I don’t want pity, not from you or my friends. And let me tell you what, Jaxon Harrison, you can tell yourself that you don’t look at me that way, but you do. So do June and Celeste. I can see it
every time I lose a pound, every time I get sick, every time they look at my head. I see it and I can’t fucking stand it!”

“You’re stupid.”

“What?”

“You are stupid. It’s not pity, baby. We don’t look at you with pity. We look at you with love. We hate it that someone we love is going through something so absolutely shitty. We love you. We hurt for you and with you. You see love, baby.”

The ugly-crying started when he called me baby the first time. I melted into him and cried, letting him hold me.

He whispered over and over, “I love you, Mercy. I love you, baby. Stop pushing me away.” And I decided right then and there that I would. I would stop pushing everyone away.

A few days
after my trip, Jax got a phone call. He sat on the couch, fiddling with his wedding ring, which I’d noticed he put back on. His words were clipped and not harsh exactly, but to the point. “Thank you for letting me know, Hannah.”

My stomach sank. He hung up and looked at me, a serious expression marring his beautiful face. Oh, no.

“I’m not the father.”

Oh, thank God! “Are you okay with that?”

“Yes.” He sank into the couch. “I knew we’d been careful, but there’s always a chance.”

“You’re wearing your ring.”

“Of course.”

“You took it off for
a while.”

“Um, yeah.” He cleared his throat. “I sort of sat it down so I could go swimming in the ocean and lost it. I found it though!”

“You lost it?”

“Sorry. I’m a bad husband.”

I giggled. “I thought you took it off for Hannah.”

He ticked his head back. “Hannah? What’s she got to do with my ring?”

I shrugged, embarrassed to tell him that I thought she wouldn’t want him to wear it anymore.

He stood and came over to stand in front of me in the kitchen. In one quick swoop, he lifted me up to sit on the kitchen counter and then stepped forward into my legs. “Baby, I never wanted her. We had a quick fling, long before you came around. You know I had several of those. But that was before you, baby. I love you.”

His hands found my thighs and started rubbing circles on my skin. And it wasn’t long before that wasn’t enough. Not nearly.

Since our talk
after I picked her up from the airport, my Mercy had been back. She’d been happy and loving. We’d kissed and held hands, and well, all sorts of other things since then. Time can be a real magician, stealing moments, days and even months away before anyone even realizes they’re gone. She was sneaky. She drew out the insignificant while rushing past the things that mattered most.

Before I knew it, the summer season was over and fall had arrived. Shady wasn’t nearly as busy, and for once, I didn’t mind at all. It freed up so much of my time. And I used that time with Mercy. She started sleeping at my place again. Her treatment was almost over, only one month left. Doc Golden warned it might be the toughest on her body, since it had been weakened by the previous months of treatment. I was taking her to her appointment with him today.

Driving through the rain-soaked streets, it seemed like we got caught in every red light in Myrtle Beach. Mercy was quiet. She just sat looking out the passenger side window and I wondered what was going on in that pretty head of hers. She’d worn a bandana today. I didn’t know what was up with that. For months, she’d shunned them.

When Linda called us back for her appointment, she must have noticed the head covering, too. She gave me a questioning glance as Mercy walked by her. I just shrugged. She’d lost three pounds, again. There for
a while, she’d started gaining it back and through she wasn’t vomiting constantly now, she did stay nauseated. She told Linda the same and she noted the chart. “I’ll see if he can’t help, sweetie.”

Mercy nodded and folded her arms around her stomach. I hated that she felt this way and what was worse? I couldn’t do a damn thing about it.

Doc came into the room with a bright smile, which faded when he saw Mercy all but huddled into the corner. “Hey, kiddo. What’s the matter?”

Mercy looked at me and then at him. “Nothing.”

Nurse Linda explained to him about the nausea and he was able to prescribe her something for it. While Linda got everything ready to hook the IV for Mercy’s chemo medicine, Doc Golden looked over at me. “Got a minute, Jaxon? I wanted to get your take on possibly building a large sun-room area onto the south side of the building.”

I nodded and Mercy pinned me with a look. “My brother
s’ are into construction and I actually helped build Shady.” She smiled and nodded.

Golden clapped me on the shoulder and opened the door, ushering me down the hallway. He really was planning to build a sunroom, but it was already under construction. “What’s up?” I was gonna add Doc to the end of that sentence, but caught myself before I sounded like Bugs Bunny.

“She’s getting depressed.”

“What? How do you know?”

“Her mood. The fact that she’s wearing a bandana when she never has. Little things.”

“What can I do?”

“Depression is common in cancer patients. Truthfully, it’s a chemical imbalance in her brain, and the medicine I prescribed for her nausea is also commonly prescribed for depression. It should help, but could take a couple of weeks before it’s in her system completely. I think you could help, though.”

“I’d do anything for her.”

He smiled. “I can tell. Look, do something fun. Get her friends together, go out, do something, but don’t let her stay home and sink further into herself.”

The wheels were already turning. “I know just what to do, Doc. Thanks.”

He nodded. I added, “Hey, you busy next Saturday evening?”

“I think my wife and I are free.”

“Good. How about coming to Shady at nine o’clock.”

“Great. I’ll plan to be there.”

I received my
second letter from Daddy since he was transferred.

Mercy,

How are you? I hope you’re getting ready to finish up that God-awful chemo. It won’t be long, now. As much as one can like prison, I actually like it here better. The food is way better and the cells are huge. It’s a newer facility and my cell mate is actually a very nice guy. He’s really quiet. But he seems nice enough, and though I thought I’d never say it, I’m glad I was transferred here.

As far as phone calls, feel free to call when you get a minute. I know you’re busy, though, so don’t stress. The hours are all the same. I love you and think about you all the time. I wish I could be there for you, but if I can’t, I’m glad you have Jaxon and some amazing friends around you.

Love you, Mercy-girl,

Daddy

Jaxon snuck up behind my chair and started rubbing my neck. He was too good at that. I melted into him. “I want to take you to dinner.”

“Mmm. Okay.”

“That was easy. I should rub your shoulders more often when I want something.”

“Maybe I should rub yours when I want something, too.”

“No, baby. You should rub my--”

I launched a pillow into his face before he could finish. He looked shocked and then smiled before I stood and ran for it. I didn’t make it far.

That night, we went to my favorite Italian place, Rossi’s. Their food was amazing. We’d laughed and talked over dinner and I’d really had fun with Jaxon. On our way out to the car, Jaxon slipped his hand into mine and pulled me close. “Do you mind if we run by Shady really quick? I need something out of my office.”

“Sure.”

Now that the off-season had arrived, we were able to find a great parking space, right beside the building. I was ready to wait in the car, but Jaxon coaxed me out. “Come say high to the guys, they’ve missed you.”

I wasn’t really in the mood to see anyone, but I nodded and took his hand with a small smile. I didn’t hear music pumping. It seemed quiet and peaceful. No one was in the bar except for Tim, the bartender, who was busy taking inventory of the bottles shelved behind him. A pencil tucked behind his head, which was bald and tattooed with some swirly design in black. Maybe it was Celtic. I didn’t know, but he was nice and always polite.

“Hey, Mercy!” He stopped what he was doing and came around the bar, giving me a big bear hug. I giggled against him as I hugged him back.

“Tim, you’re squeezing me to death.”

“Oh, sorry!”

“You look great!” He kissed my cheek. He and Jaxon exchanged some sort of bro hug and a look. “They need you outside, boss.”

Jaxon sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. I knew he didn’t want to work tonight.

“Go, Jaxon. Take care of whatever you need to. I’m fine.”

“You sure?”

I nodded. “I’m sure.

“Come outside with me for a minute.” He grabbed my hand before I could protest and pulled me through the door. No one was out here. No one. No bartender. No patrons. Why did Tim say someone needed him?

All of the sudden, Nicki Minaj’s “Starships” flooded from the speakers. I looked at Jaxon and he just smiled. James, the new bartender popped up behind his station and began pouring shooters. He winked at me as the pink concoction flooded each tiny tube to the brim.

From the speakers again, June’s voice roared, “Mercy. We love you so damn much. We just want you to know that you’ve got a lot of friends in your corner. Cancer touched your breast, so you and we are gonna kick its ass!”

Claps and cheers sounded and people popped out from every crevice.
Oh, my God. They didn’t. They did.
I looked out at the smiles and clapping hands, but could barely see through my tears. All of my friends were here, even Celeste, and every last one had shaved their heads. Tim approached from behind and wiggled some clippers at Jax, who grabbed the nearest stool and let Tim get started. I was giggling and whimpering and didn’t know what to blubber next. My hand was pressed hard against my mouth, getting drowned by salty tears.