Shame On Me (20 page)

****

I walk into The Grill and head straight for the office. I knock before entering and I see Kate on the sofa with her head resting on the back of it with her eyes closed.

“Hey Kate.”

“Boy am I glad to see you,” she says after cracking one eye.

“How have things been around here?”

“Busy and chaotic.”

“Chaotic?”

“Yeah, I didn’t realize how much you do around here. It was rough for those few days you went M.I.A. during your breakup but during your trip I truly realized how much you contribute around here.”

“I don’t contribute
that
much.”

“You help with the staff, create schedules, do inventory, and train. I’d be lost without you.”

I twist my ring before speaking. “Umm, about that…“

“Oh no, you can’t quit.”

“I’m really don’t want to but Ethan proposed and we want to have a family so I’ll eventually have to find a new job.”

“You’re not going to tend anymore?”

“Who wants to see a pregnant girl behind a bar?”

“I can’t afford for you to quit. I need you.”

Great, just throw on the guilt.

I throw my hands up in frustration before speaking. “I don’t see how we can make this work.”

“How about we make a deal?”

“What kind of deal?”

“I’ll make you a manager and you’ll oversee staff relations. You can deal with schedules, training, staff problems, and occasionally tend while I deal with food and drinks. We’ll work on advertisement together or I’ll hire someone. It’ll be a raise plus benefits.”

With a family I could use a raise and stability.

“Only if we talk before you take on any partners.”

“Agreed.”

I sit on the couch to hug her and watch as she gushes over my ring.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

And Then Came Bria

I’m excited to tell Ethan how my talk with Kate went so I head to his place after work. When I walk through the door I know something is wrong. He’s sitting on the couch staring blankly at the TV that’s not on.

I drop my purse on the couch beside him and sit on the ottoman with my legs between his. He doesn’t even notice that I’m sitting in front of him until I rub his leg. He blinks a few times as he focuses on my face and it takes a few more seconds before recognition kicks in.

“What’s wrong?” I ask softly. Ethan closes his eyes and leans forward to place his head on my shoulder. I softly rub his back waiting for him to feel comfy enough to talk. He eventually lowers his head to my lap and guides my hand to his hair. I soothingly run my ringers through his hair but now I’m seriously worried. The only time he lays in my lap is when he has a problem he’s trying to work through in his head.

“Talk to me babe.”

“Do you remember the girl you saw me at the mall with during our breakup?”

“Yeah.”

“Well she called me today and told me she’s pregnant.” I can tell he’s worried about my response because he’s gotten ridiculously stiff. I continue to run my fingers through his hair as I calm my heart rate.

My chest is tightening with the memory of Noah getting someone else pregnant while we were together. I continue to run my fingers through his hair and remind myself that Ethan is not Noah.

“Is there a chance the baby’s yours?”

“I honestly don’t know. We only dated for a few weeks and I always used condoms, but I know condoms aren’t 100%.”

I nod my head and sigh because I know he’s right.

“Do you want to be with her? She could potentially be having your baby and she seems to be more of your type than I am.”

“Hell no! What are you talking about?”

“All of your ex’s that I’ve encountered have been blonde and tall, so it makes me wonder why you came after me. Only thing that I have in common with those girls are my curves.”

“I chased you because I wanted to be with you then, and I want to be with you now. Yes they are my usual type but look where that got me.”

Can I do this? Can I be with someone who may have had a baby on me? Do I love him enough to make this work?

I look down at his tense face and know there’s no way I’m leaving over this. He messed up when we broke up and I can’t fault him for it.

“What do we do now Mia?”

I pull him up from my lap so that we’re face to face. “We’re going to support her and be there every step of the way. When she has the baby you’ll take a paternity test and we’ll move on from there.”

“What if the baby isn’t mine and we spend all that time and money on her?”

“What if the baby is yours and you missed out on your child’s development?”

“Your right, and I’m sorry for putting you through this.”

“The roles could’ve easily been reversed. What would you have done if I ended up pregnant during our breakup?”

“Held your hand through it and accepted the baby as my own.”

“Exactly. We’re about to get married and have to accept the good with the bad. You may feel bad now but the end result will be great. We’ll either have a baby at the end of this or be free and clear from all of our ex’s once and for all.”

“I don’t deserve you,” he says placing his forehead on mine.

“Yes you do,” I whisper back. I can tell he still needs reassurance so I pull him to the bedroom where we undress and cuddle until we fall asleep.

****

Over breakfast I tell him about my promotion and our venue. He seems excited but guarded like he’s waiting for me to flip out.

“Babe, I’m not going to freak out and abandon you.”

“It’s just freaking me out how well you’re taking it. I know Noah got someone pregnant while you were together.”

“You’re not him and the situation is different. I love you and refuse to live without you so I have no choice but to go with the flow. If that means accepting a baby that you may have created while we weren’t together then so be it. I will love the baby because he or she is half of you. My heart has no choice but to be a goner for him or her.” Ethan smiles brilliantly and I can’t help but smile back.

“Would you like to go to the ultrasound with me?”

“Absolutely.”

“Okay, let me call her and set it up.”

He pulls his cell out of his pocket and calls her.

“Hey Bria, Mia and I would like to be at your next doctor’s appointment.”

His face turns stony when she replies.

“She’s my fiancée and will be in the baby’s life so what does it matter if she’s there?”

More angry silence.

“Don’t play this game with me Bria, you won’t like how it ends.”

He relaxes slightly before speaking.

“Okay, we can do that. When is your next appointment?” I watch as he writes down the date on a piece of mail. “Okay we’ll see you tomorrow.”

“What happened?” I ask after he hangs up.

“She wasn’t happy with me including you but she agreed to meet you tomorrow to get to know you before we show up at her appointment in three weeks.”

“Babe relax, meeting her before hand is a good idea,” I say as I run my fingers over his knuckles.

“I know; I just want to keep it drama free.”

“And it will be. Tell me about her.”

“We dated for a few weeks in May, but ended things when I said your name in bed. She was nothing more than a hitter and she understood that.”

“Jeez, no wonder the girl has reservations about me.”

“She knew the score when we started darlin’. I didn’t make any promises to her so now we have to be adults and raise this baby.”

“I understand your side but show her some compassion, okay?”

“Yeah I can do that.”

****

Sunday

Ethan and I walk into Tea Time, holding hands, to meet Bria. Ethan scans the tables for a few seconds before steering us to the back of the shop. We stop at a table and a gorgeous blond looks up at us. When I say gorgeous I mean men must fall at her feet. Her piercing green eyes shoot between Ethan and me before she slaps on an uncomfortable smile.

“You must be Mia.”

“It’s nice to meet you Bria.”

We sit down and it’s hard not to notice her belly.

“How far are you?”

“Seven months.”

“Wow you’re almost done. What are you having?”

“Why do you need to know?” she asks tersely.

“Relax Bria, she’s only trying to be friendly.”

“Why do I have to be friends with her?”

“Because we’ll all be making major decisions together so you better get use to her being around.”

“Do you really think I’m going to play nice with the girl you left me for?”

“Do you really think I’m going to allow you to disrespect my wife? If it weren’t for her you wouldn’t be seeing me until you gave birth and even that would only be for a paternity test. So you will respect her. You don’t have to like her but you’ll give her the upmost respect. Mia will be at every appointment with me and at the birth. Once it’s proven scientifically that I am the father then we’ll discuss visitation and child support.” He leans forward and hisses, “Until the birth you better be sweet as sugar because if you make her uncomfortable in any way, I will disappear until you push the baby out. Are we clear?”

“Yeah.”

Ethan nods and pulls me out of my chair.

“We’ll see you in three weeks.”

I’m rushed out of the building and placed in Ethan’s car. He’s too riled up to talk now, so I remain quiet as he drives us to Tara’s Treats for our cake appointment. When we pull up his fingers are stiffly holding on to the steering wheel. I start to say something to him but he jumps out of the car before I can speak. When he helps me out of the car I place my hand on his chest so he’ll look at me.

“Let’s go for a walk.”

“We need to choose a cake.”

“It can wait.”

I place my arms around his waist and lead us down the sidewalk. He wraps an arm around my waist and uses his other hand to rub my arm. Eventually I hear him sigh and feel his tense body relax.

“I’m sorry darlin’, I won’t stand for anyone disrespecting you.”

“It’s okay. You have a right to be upset but don’t let her ruin our day, okay?” He nods in agreement. “Good, now lets talk out the facts and maybe it’ll make you feel better.”

“Good idea.”

“She doesn’t seem money hungry but she does look lonely, maybe all she wants from you is your time and she feels like I’m cutting in on that.”

“It’s a possibility but it doesn’t explain why she waited so long to tell me about the baby. We don’t run in the same circles so it’s unlikely that she heard about the engagement and wants to break us up. Something is up with her and I can’t figure out what it is and its annoying the shit out of me.”

“Well let’s just feel her out and see what happens. If she has ill intentions then they’ll eventually be revealed.”

“I guess so.”

“There is no point in stressing about something out of our control. All we can do is wait it out.”

His nods his head then says, “I’m sorry for being a downer.”

“Well there is a way you can make it up to me,” I say smiling.

“Oh yeah, how?”

“By taking me to eat some free cake.” He smiles at me before steering us back towards the bakery.

****

Later that day

I’m in my boxed up kitchen working on the guest list when Ava bulldozes her way into the house.

“Please feel free to break down my door.”

“He got someone pregnant?!”

“He’s not sure that the baby is his.”

“He allegedly knocked up a girl who isn’t you and you didn’t tell me?!”

“Ethan was already freaking out and I didn’t need you to get me all hyped up too.”

“Why not? You should be hyped up! Why aren’t you hyped up?”

“I started to get freaked out when he told me but then I thought about those months without him and I knew he was worth the drama. He’s always been there to talk me down from a cliff and now I need to do that for him. We both know if this was you and Steve you’d be pissed at first but no way in hell would you let some woman he barely tolerates to break you two up.”

I watch as her face goes from scary angry to understanding.

“Are you sure Mia? I’ll get Steve to kick his ass and in a few months we can track her down.”

“I’m sure. Now come help me with this list.”

We spend the next hour arguing over the guest list and possible menu. Ethan and Steve eventually show up with food and Ethan’s list. I begin searching the Internet for invitations but I’m too tired to focus, so Ethan chooses them.

Ethan tries to convince me to hire a wedding planner but I refuse. I have majority of the details already handled so there is no point in hiring one now. We argue about this for another twenty minutes before we compromise and I agree to hire someone to decorate.