Shame On Me (23 page)

Ethan looks handsome as usual but knowing that he will officially belong to me in a few minutes takes my breath away. In this moment I wonder how I ever doubted that this man was meant for me.

Shame on me for fighting him.

Shame on me for running from this.

Shame. On. Me.

When its almost time for my dad to give me away I hear him sniffle. For the first time since I locked my gaze on Ethan, I take my eyes off of him to look at my daddy. “Don’t worry Daddy, I’ll be in good hands.”

“I know he’s a good man but it doesn’t make giving away my princess any easier.”

“You’re not giving me away, I’m just all grown up now; but I’ll always be your princess.” I lean in to kiss his cheek and reassuringly squeeze his arm.

He’s staring at me as if he’s taking a moment to lock this memory away and I don’t rush him. A few seconds later we meet up with Ethan and I’m handed off to him.

I’m on the verge of tears but I don’t want to miss anything so I get myself in check. Ethan reaches for my hands and the minister says a prayer before beginning the ceremony. Once the prayer is done Ava hands the minister a small mason jar filled with sweet and sour candy.

“Love can be sweet but just as quick can turn bitter. It is important to remember that with the good comes the bad and vice versa. In this life you have to take the good with the bad so be patient, be kind, and be good to each other.” During his explanation Ethan and I eat a piece of the candy and allow his advice to sink in.

We then move on to combining our soil to the maple tree. We chose a maple tree because it represents wisdom and promise. In this marriage we’ll need to use wisdom and hold true to our promises to each other. Once the soil is combined we turn to each other and recite our vows.

“Ethan, I had no clue what love was until I fell for you. I fought it kicking and screaming but you knew just what I needed. I promise to not fight loving you. I promise to never turn my back on you. I promise to not yell at you when you leave dishes in the living room. I promise not to get angry when you and the children decide to have a jam session at 2am. I promise to tag team with you when our kids go through those neurotic teenage years. Most of all I promise to love you for a hundred years, and more.”

He has a smile on his face that I have never seen before as I slip his ring in place, and I can’t help but stare at it. My eyes eventually move from his mouth to his eyes when he speaks.

“Thirty years from now when we think on this day it won’t matter what color we wore, how the food was, or who got drunk and acted a fool. All that will matter is how much I love you right now, in this moment; and that I promise to love you for you.”

He slips my ring on my finger and we kiss before the minister instructs us to do so. We part in time to hear him introduce us as Mr. and Mrs. Grant and damn near sprint down the aisle.

At the end of the aisle I see Charlee’s assistant Skye taking photos. She seems like a sweet girl but there is obvious sadness behind her smile. Charlee says that she changes her hair color every month and today its bright purple.

I wonder what her story is.

When I pass her I wink at her and she throws a real smile my way. She’s been hard at work and doing a great job but during the reception Charlee will take over.

There’s a table at the reception entrance that has mason jars with chalkboard stickers that have guests’ names and table numbers written on them. Guests will be able to use these jars as favors and glasses to enjoy lemonade, ice tea, and margaritas from two-gallon glass dispensers. While the guests enjoy cocktail hour Ethan and I walk to another part of the property that Skye has set up.

I am utterly shocked at how pretty the space is. There are about fifty mason jars that are covered in dots from glow in the dark paint and are beginning to glow as the sky is darkening. Spread out on the ground between the jars is various chalkboards with quotes about love by famous men. Two of the chalkboards have quotes from Ethan and I.

Charlee has us lay down in the grass as she climbs onto a ladder and begins snapping shots. Ethan and I are instructed to be natural so we take that time to talk and laugh.

In the middle of our photo shoot it begins to drizzle but we decide to keep going with the photos. Charlee snaps away as Ethan and I run around the property like two big kids. Skye shows us a few of the shots and they perfectly capture the rain as well as our personalities.

****

We finally make it to the reception and our first dance is to India Arie’s “Ready For Love.” From the dance we move on to dinner and dessert. We decided to have a cupcake cake and it made it easy to smash it in each other’s face. When dinner is out of the way we spend a lot of time at the candy bar and in the photo booth with friends. We are having a blast when Ava announces that its time for the best man and matron of honor toast.

I follow Ethan to the middle of the dance floor where he settles me in front of him and wraps his arms around my waist while leaning his chin on top of my head. Steve and Ava are standing in front of us when Steve begins his speech.

“Ethan we have been friends for years and I have never seen you so happy. Now that you have found your happiness, hold on to her tight.” Steve moves his eyes to me and winks. “Mia you were definitely a challenge but with a prize like you, who can blame him for stepping up to the challenge? Congratulations my friends, cheers.” The guests raise their glasses with him as he passes the microphone to Ava.

“Ethan I thank you for the many mornings you fed my greedy and thankful stomach. I’m sure that Steve thanks you for the pounds I packed on in those few short months.” I can hear chuckles from Ethan and Steve but I don’t tear my eyes away from her. “Take care of my girl because she deserves a happy ending.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Ava turns her gaze to me and my eyes instantly flood. Ethan gives me a reassuring squeeze and I wrap my arms tighter around his. She tries to give me time to get my tears in check but Ethan signals for her to continue anyway.

“Amelia Grant, you have been my friend since before puberty and I love you wholeheartedly. We have been through many crazy times together and you have always been my rock. You are the perfect opposite of me. You have always kept me calm and taught me to go with the flow, so here is to the girl who taught me to say eff it and enjoy the moment.” She raises her glass of lemonade and the DJ cues up Rihanna’s “Cheers (Drink to that).” A waitress brings the three of us shots and we shoot them back while grooving to the music. The dance floor floods with other guests and we all sing the song like its our last hoorah.

Eventually Ethan pulls me close and we slow grind our way through the song. By the time the song is over I’m so worked up that I pull him behind me as we sneak off to a private bathroom.

I lock the door behind him and lean forward to place a kiss on his jaw. I feel his hands tighten on my hips as I kiss a trail to his ear.

“Darlin’ you know what that does to me.”

“It’s been a long time babe.”

“Can’t you wait? We’ll be leaving soon.”

“I don’t want to wait.”

“Mia.” I can tell that he’s teetering so I give him a little nudge.

“I need you now.”

“How bad darlin’?”

“So bad.”

His hands caress my booty before pulling my skirt up high enough to pull off my panties. My eyes lustfully take him in as he puts my lace thongs in his pocket. He assists me in hopping onto the counter and steps between my legs. I hurriedly unbuckle his belt and open his pants while he lazily runs his fingers over my thighs.

“We have to be quick so my dress won’t wrinkle.”

“Okay, but later I want these shoes up by my neck.”

My cupcake spasms as he pushes the head in. I throw my head back in relief and moan loud. Ethan has to cover my mouth because the more he shushes me the louder I get. It’s been a while since I’ve had this, who can blame me?

I’m building up quick and Ethan knows it. He starts pumping harder while biting my neck and I free fall over the cliff. My cupcake spasms around him and he releases loudly. He drops his face to my neck and we both are panting trying to quickly get ourselves together.

When we’re calm again we look at each other and laugh. Ethan inspects my dress to make sure that I’m wrinkle free before we head back to the party. Once there I begin nibbling on his ear and soon after his accent informs everyone that we’re leaving.

I grab my luggage out of Ava’s car and change before heading to the hotel. My mom will take our gifts, his tux, and my dress to the loft so we don’t have to. I climb into Ethan’s truck and am as anxious as he is to get started with the rest of our lives.

Epilogue

Six years later

“Ari stop teasing your sister.” He is tall for his age and is holding his sister’s Barbie doll just out of reach. He is going to be tall like his father and my poor baby girl is going to be short just like me.

I watch as she strains to reach her doll that’s wearing a polka dot bikini identical to hers. When she looks at me with her hazel eyes narrowed in frustration I have to hold in my laughter. It’s a shame how much like me she is.

Elysa is the perfect mixture of Ethan and I. She has his eyes, lips, and nose but she has my hair, height, build, and attitude. Her skin tone is a little lighter than my mocha tone, but that’s to be expected. Ari looks up at me with big hazel eyes and I struggle to remain firm. He is the spitting image of his father so who can blame me?

Ethan swoops in and picks up Elysa with practiced ease and she instantly wraps her tiny arms around his neck and buries her face there. I look at him and roll my eyes. Elysa is a complete daddy’s girl. Ethan knows that I have a hard time scolding the kids and anytime it involves his princess, he steps right in. “We’ll talk about this later.”

“No we won’t.”

“Yes we will.”

“Darlin’, just let it go.” I swear that’s been his favorite saying since I pushed Elysa out of my cupcake. He spoils her with attention and sees nothing wrong with it. I don’t see anything wrong with it either, but sometimes I have to tell him to back off when it leads to arguments between us.

“I said we will talk about this later.”

“You want to talk? What did I say about putting my princess in a bikini?”

“She’s two! It’s cute when she’s this age.”

“It’s not cute at any age darlin’. Not when it’s my baby.”

I throw my hands up in frustration and go outside to help Ava with the kids. Her middle son is turning three today and she decided to have a pool party. A pool party while she’s six months pregnant!

She wrangled the boys into monitoring the bouncy house and inflatable sliding board and I head straight to them. I try to vent to them about Ethan being overprotective but I get no sympathy from them. They have all gotten married and have at least one girl each.

Men!

I look around the party to see if there’s anyone here who will sympathize with me but I don’t see anyone. The boys’ wives are in the kitchen helping Ava and if she finds out that I’m not on my post she’s going to have a fit.

As I head over to the pool I see Steve holding Elysa while talking to Ethan and I know I’m definitely not getting any sympathy from him. Ava is pregnant with their first girl and I can just imagine how protective he’s going to be over her.

I get into the pool and play with the kids until its time to eat and open presents. Everyone has a great time and by the time the party is cleaned up the kids are exhausted.

As we walk home the kids start dozing in the stroller and I know I’m going to regret bath time tonight. We only live two blocks away but both kids are struggling to stay awake.

Six months after we got married we found a four-bedroom house with a playroom, family room, and pool. In the front yard we planted our maple tree and we play around it every weekend. In the foyer is a table that holds the glass vase that our guests wrote their well wishes on. Next to the vase is a small photo of us taken by Charlee.

We’re sitting amongst the glowing mason jars when I decide to scoot closer to him. The photo shows me whispering in his ear as his hand reaches up to play with one of my curls. It’s one of my favorite photos from that day and I thank Charlee every time I walk by it. I throw my keys on the table and head straight upstairs to bathe the kids.

I wish that I could just let them go to sleep but I have to get that chlorine off of them. Ethan and I are exhausted by the time we get them bathed and dressed for bed but all they want to do is play. We take them to the playroom off of the kitchen and hope that it will tire them out.

I collapse in the rocking chair by the window and my gaze lands on the two mason jars, with glow in the dark paint, hanging in the window. Some of these glasses are also in the children’s bedrooms and they love it. It lights up in neon colors and the kids often fall asleep watching it.

As I stare at the glasses I hear Ari laugh in excitement. I turn to look at them and see the kids crawling all over Ethan. I can’t resist joining in so I run over and land on top of the pile. I love playing with the kids but I can’t wait to have some alone time with Ethan when Kate comes over tomorrow to take the kids out.