Shameless (12 page)

Gauge had left? What did she mean that Gauge had left?

Of course, there was one person who could answer that question for her. But Kevin refused to meet her gaze whenever they crossed paths. And the cold vibes he gave off made her shiver. So she hadn’t dared ask for fear of what he might say. Or of how he might interpret her curiosity.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

She decided that at day’s end she would stop being stupid and just come out and ask him. Let him think what he wanted. Personal mess aside, they were still business partners. And this concerned a one-third interest in their business.

Nina walked into the bookstore, surprised by the large group of cheering children. She’d forgotten that it was Saturday and story time. The latest Salamander book was out today and it seemed everyone under the age of ten was ecstatic. She stopped at the center’s counter, pretending to go over notes on a clipboard when she was really curious about what was going on in the public gathering area.

Since her return from Detroit, she’d made a point of avoiding the spot. She hadn’t wanted to be reminded of the incident that had started out as a harmless erotic encounter and had turned all of their lives upside down. She was surprised to find that the leather couch and chairs had been removed, replaced by a series of uncomfortable-looking, multicolored plastic chairs, with a column of stackable siblings nearby.

She frowned. What had happened to the furniture?

“All right, everyone!” Kevin’s assistant called out to the rambunctious children. “Last one to sit in a neat row is a spoilsport.”

Nina smiled slightly as the children all hurried to get into position. No one, of course, was labeled anything. It was a mere means to an end, and John had already taken the chair in front of them, the brand-new edition in the Salamander series in his hands.

That was odd….

Nina looked around. Kevin was usually the reader. He loved the kids. And the kids loved him in return. She could count on two fingers the times he hadn’t handled Saturday afternoon story time. When he’d been sick with the flu and hadn’t wanted to pass around the germs, and when his mother had died.

With everything well in control, she picked up the clipboard and headed into the main bookstore section, her gaze seeking Kevin.

There he was. Shelving copies of J. D. Robb’s latest in the mainstream section.

“Is something wrong?” she asked his back.

She noticed the way his shoulders stiffened, as if she had just pelted him with ice balls rather than words.

“Excuse me?” He finished shelving the books in his hands and turned toward her.

“Are you sick?”

His eyes narrowed.

She sighed and gestured toward the children. “You love reading to the kids.”

“I’m fine.”

He turned back toward his task.

Nina stood staring at him for a long moment.

This avoidance stuff was getting old, but quick.

Of course, her using story time as an excuse to talk to him was little more than avoidance at its best. But, damn it, she didn’t know what else to do.

She began to turn away, and then recalled that there was one item that they could discuss now that was directly related to what was going on. She gathered her wits about her and decided that now was as good a time as any.

“Heidi told me Gauge left.”

She thought it impossible that Kevin’s shoulders could stiffen any further. She was proven wrong.

“Could you please expound on the meaning of
left?
”

He didn’t respond.

She grasped his arm. “Damn it, Kevin, talk to me.”

He turned cold eyes on her and she shivered.

“Does
left
mean that he’s gone on an extended vacation somewhere? Or does
left
mean that he’s moved on…permanently?”

Finally, Kevin faced her fully. “Why? Do you want to pick up where you left off?”

Nina’s palm itched with the desire to slap him where he stood.

“That’s too bad. Because he’s left. For good. No forwarding address, no plans to return. Gone.”

Nina’s heart gave a squeeze. She’d hit rock bottom, convinced things couldn’t possibly get any worse. And while she’d feared that Gauge had left town, hearing Kevin say the words made her feel sick to her stomach.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she whispered, curious about the flicker of sadness on his face.

“I figured he would have told you.”

He was lying. She could tell because Kevin had never been any good at falsehoods. Even white lies probably made him break out in hives. It wasn’t the way he was made.

“No,” she said quietly. “That’s not what I’m talking about.”

She searched his face for some sign that what had passed between them on that one magical night remained. She found nothing.

“I’m not talking about Gauge, Kevin. I’m talking about what happened between us.”

He recalled Nina’s face earlier when she’d asked him about Gauge. Remembered his own visceral response to her inquiry. The way the jealousy that had been festering in him since the night he’d caught them together had boiled over, scalding her with its acidity.

He swung again, the crash momentarily eclipsing the thud-thud of his heart.

Over the past few days he’d emptied the house of almost all traces of his parents, choosing only a few items that he might like to pass on to his children, if he ever had any, and his mother’s favorites. The rest he’d given to the Salvation Army and family members.

Which left him a clean canvas on which to work.

His mother had kept an old-fashioned house. The type where doilies were draped over decades-old furniture, the paint colors and wallpaper muted and very feminine.

It was nothing like him.

He wasn’t entirely clear on what drove him now. He merely knew a strong desire to begin taking control over his life rather than passively allowing things to happen around him.

Hell, his mother had been dead for two years and he still watered her plants as if she would be returning any minute.

The plants were among the first things to go. A neighbor had been quick to take them off his hands, along with a good number of pieces of overly ornate furniture. Which was fine with him. Good riddance was all he could say.

He finished demolishing the half wall and stood staring at the large pile of debris while he wiped the sweat from his brow with his shoulder. As things stood, the entire house was in various stages of renovation. He’d even finally taken over the master bedroom, ordering in new furniture, although he hadn’t been completely able to get rid of his old. His boyhood room still sat much the same as it had been when he was growing up, the only exception being the double bed he’d gotten when he was a senior in high school.

He allowed the sledgehammer to drop from his grip and braced it against another wall, and then he stepped over the debris to get a beer from the refrigerator. He popped open the top and took a deep pull while walking through the first floor, taking in all the work he’d done and all that had yet to be done.

Late last night he’d realized he’d accomplished the first part of his intention: he no longer recognized the place as his parents’. Bare walls, carpet pulled up, old doors taken down to the basement to be painted, the house could have been a new one he’d recently moved into. One in need of lots of TLC.

Not unlike himself, he realized.

An image of Nina popped into his mind and he immediately ousted it. She had no place in his plans.

But what were those plans, beyond reclaiming his parents’ house as his own?

He couldn’t say. But he knew that whatever they were, they would evolve naturally as a result of his activities.

The rap of someone knocking on his front door made him frown. Had the neighbors called the sheriff on him again? He wasn’t wearing a watch, so he couldn’t be sure of the time, but he was positive it wasn’t that late.

He swung open the door then stood staring at the last person he expected to find standing on his porch.

Nina.

“Mind if I come in?” she asked when he hadn’t said anything, hadn’t even acknowledged her appearance beyond staring at her as if he wanted her gone from his porch.

He opened the door wider and then stood leaning against it, leaving her a narrow path that required she come in physical contact with him when she passed.

Nina caught her breath at the rock-hard feel of his abs as she brushed against them, the scent of sawdust and beer filling her nose.

She blinked at the scene before her as Kevin closed the door. While the place looked exactly the same on the outside, inside…well, she wouldn’t have known she was in the right place had she not just come in via the familiar front door…or if Kevin weren’t standing in the middle of the room, his arms crossed, a half-empty beer bottle dangling from the fingers of his right hand.

Nina swallowed hard, incapable of holding his penetrating gaze as she stepped around the living room, peering into the dining area and then the kitchen. “Did you do all this yourself?”

She was guessing that he had, if the dusty old T-shirt and jeans he wore were any indication. Her gaze flicked to his rock-solid form and she swallowed hard again.

Why hadn’t she noticed how buff he was before? Yes, he may have done a good job disguising his physique under oversized denim shirts and loose jeans, but still…

She caught herself staring at his bulging biceps, probably made larger by the physical work he was doing around the house. But that couldn’t take all the credit. She already knew he was hands-on when it came to his coaching hockey and soccer.

She guessed that maybe she just hadn’t looked closely enough. Had never had much reason to.

Until now.

She cleared her throat. “Look, Kevin, I…”

She what?

Suddenly, coming over here didn’t seem a good idea. She’d been at home sharing a quiet meal with Ernie when she’d decided to have it out with Kevin once and for all. He needed to understand that she hadn’t intended what had happened. She needed to make her point of view clear.

She needed to tell him she was sorry.

She glanced into his stony face. Unfortunately, he wasn’t making any of it easier.

He took another long pull from his beer, perfectly aware that he hadn’t offered her anything and that she looked awkward, as if feeling unwelcome.

And she was unwelcome. He didn’t want her there. Didn’t want her anywhere near him where she could wreak more havoc over his once neatly aligned life.

He finished the beer and then placed the empty bottle on the stairs. He wasn’t aware he’d stepped closer to Nina until she backed away from him, an expression of surprise on her face.

“Why did you come here, Nina?” he asked, his gaze flicking over her chin and mouth and then boring into her eyes. “What do you want?”

His voice was low and gravelly as he backed her against the wall and then braced his hand against it beside her head, blocking a direct route to the door.

“I…I…”

He watched her mouth work its way around a response that didn’t appear imminent.

Instead, she licked her lips.

The simple, provocative action made Kevin’s awareness level leap.

He leaned his head close enough to kiss her, his gaze on her mouth.

“Haven’t you done enough damage already?” he asked quietly. “Did you come over here to do more?”

Pain shot through her beautiful blue eyes. Pain that he didn’t want to see, was in no mindset to acknowledge, much less accept.

“I came over here to tell you I was sorry,” she finally whispered, searching his face.

She was sorry.

Yeah, well, so was he.

That and a dollar might get them a loaf of bread on sale.

Kevin braced his other hand against the wall, effectively trapping her.

“Uh-uh. I don’t think that’s why you came here tonight.”

She swallowed hard, her pupils briefly widening, but whether it was in fear or awareness, he couldn’t be sure.

And he didn’t care.

Damn it, he’d spent the days since their night together in a ceaseless state of agitation. Of having had a taste of something wonderful and then being denied anything more.

His heartbeat sped up as he breathed in her sweet scent, brushing his nose against her jawline and up over her cheek and temple.

“I think you came here for this.”

He kissed her.