Shampoo (8 page)

I was all, “We need to talk about us,” and he
was all over me with kisses, cupping my boobs, grabbing handfuls of
hair, trailing kisses down my neck, murmuring hot things in my ear
(‘I wanna TASTE YOU’)…I mean, how is a girl supposed to nag when he
does all that??

I ended up just leaving. Was so not giving sex
to the fucker.

Oh, it was delicious!!

Sunday 2 July 2000

6.20pm

I plodded all day. Everard and I were SUPPOSED
to do something

(other than each other),

then Tom rang Ever and Ever decided he just HAD
to go go-carting, and did I want to meet them there.

No, I do not want to drive halfway down the
coast to watch Ever and Tom go on a date with each
other.

So I went for a drive along the river at
Yeronga, and read the paper by the water while stuffing my face
with a cream doughnut and drinking a can of Coke, while I stewed
over the fact I wanted to be doing romantic things (like stuffing
my face) WITH A BOYFRIEND, not by myself, LIKE ALWAYS.

Nobody wants to do romantic things BY
THEMSELVES.

It’s too much. I’m over it. Time to go watch
‘Dawson’s’. God, Dawson was so annoying last episode. Pacey is SO
HOT. Joey is too bitter for a 16 year old. But still you root for
her and her grumpy bitchy face.

Monday 3 July 2000

8.17pm

Sherrie’s been so weird lately. We normally do
lunch together each day, we have gone magazine shopping together
every week for like a year (even with me off), we went out with her
and her boyfriend for her birthday…and now suddenly she’s stopped
spending lunch breaks with Nat and I.

I went up to her today, going “Yaay!! It’s mag
day!!” and this look came over her face, kinda like regret, but
happy regret, like she wanted to be sad she couldn’t go with me,
but was secretly happy with the other plans she had
instead.

She said, “Oh, I’m sorry, Pinky. I totally
forgot!! Katie asked me to go to lunch with her, and I said I
would. (Insert bummed, fake regretful face here) Is that okay?? You
understand, right? It’s KATIE.”

She said Katie like one would say
God.

Which, to Sherrie, Katie really is her God. She
worships the ground she walks on.

And clearly has dumped me for Katie, now that
Katie is talking to her again.

(after a year and a half of NOT talking to each
other)

“
Sure,” I replied, hiding the knife
protruding from my heart well. “Sure, babe. Have fun!” Then I
walked my Pinky walk (so all happy and bouncy like) back to my
desk, and tried to pretend to sit down all happy like and not
devastated like.

Nat, having overheard it all, rolled her eyes
at my pretend nonchalance.

(Nat has no time for double-crossers, people
who don’t value you…and wimpy older sisters)

“
Come on, dopey,” she said to me,
slinging her fluro yellow bag over her shoulder.

“Woman’s Day is calling to you.”

She hates what she calls ‘Mum’s magazines,’
since we grew up with Mum permanently on the couch, day in, day
out, reading her Woman’s Day and her New Idea. Only ever those two
mags, and she would take seven days to read the two.

Seven days. With her doing nothing but reading
them all day.

(Mum is a slow reader)

So I picked up my bag and followed Nat out, and
she drove us to Cannon Hill. “I can’t believe she just ditches us
like that!” I cried, soon as we were in the car.

Nat just shrugged. Perpetually grumpy. “Yeah,
well. If she ditches us for Katie…they can have each
other.”

And just like that, Nat has forgotten Sherrie
and our special friendship, as quickly as Sherrie has forgotten
us.

You don’t cross Nat twice. You let her down
once, you never get another chance.

But not me. I try and try and try with people.
Even bad people. Why?? Why are Nat and I so different?? We had the
same upbringing, and we’ve been glued at the hip since
birth.

I wonder what it’s like to be so strong?? To
just move on like that, not spend another second in hurt or
regret.

IT MUST BE FABULOUS!!!

Nat has Dan though. Has always had Dan, or A
Dan, another version of him. She’s not been single for even a day
since she was 15. Maybe always having a partner makes you
stronger.

I mean, it must. Someone is always there to
catch you when you fall, when you’re sad…someone is always there to
tell you you’re beautiful. Someone there every night to hold
you.

Maybe when you have a man every night to come
home to, in bed with you every night, nothing else matters. Friends
that ditch you mean nothing in comparison to having your great love
beside you.

Sigh. I wouldn’t know.

I’ve never had anybody. Not properly. Not like
it matters.

It’s just me tonight, my bed, and my tears over
losing Sherrie.

Wednesday 5 July 2000

7.45pm

Oh my God, so funny…

I had to work late last night, and Benny kept
coming upstairs from the warehouse, demanding to know where Gerry’s
lolly stash is hidden.

I was all, “Nut, nut, sorry. Can’t reveal that
kind of classified information.”

Benny kept laughing, then on his tenth trip
upstairs

(having a blood sugar crash
clearly),

he was all, “PINKY, WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE
FUCKING LOLLIES!!!” and “I NEED SHUG-GAAAA!!”

(he’s worse than a girl!!)

“
COME ON PINKY, WHERE’S THE
STASH!!”

(oh I just got it now. He was
stoned)

And me, all zen like, and typing away madly. “I
am not telling you, Benny Boy.”

But then I finally cracked, cause he just would
not shut up, grabbed a key on Renee’s desk, and opened a drawer in
the filing cabinet in the corner.

“
Now you SWEAR you WILL NOT tell
Renee I told you where they are, Benny??”

“
I promise, Pinky. ON MY
LIFE.”

“
Promise??”

“
I promise!! I won’t
tell!”

We then stood there, laughing madly as we
stuffed our faces with lollies. We kept saying to each other
–

“
You SWEAR you won’t tell Renee I
showed you where they are!”

“
YOU swear you won’t tell Renee I
ate them!!”

“
I swear.”

“
I swear!”

“
I FUCKING swear – ”

“
I know you do, Pinky!!”

“
Pinky swear?”

“
Pinky swear!”

“
Like ACTUAL Pinky swear, with our
pinky fingers, NOT MY NAME Pinky swear – ”

We entwined pinky fingers and shook.

SO TODAY, Renee asked me in her best stern
office manager voice

(she’s not very good at the
sternness),

“
Pinky, who ate all the
lollies??”

“
It was Benny,” I replied
immediately. “Benny did it! I saw him and EVERYTHING –”

“
Funny,” Renee said. “He says the
same thing about you!!”

That bastard!!

Later, Benny came upstairs and was pointing and
laughing at me. “I dobbed you in, Pinky!!!”

“
I dobbed you in, too,
Benny!!”

We dissolved in fits. ‘You SWORE!!” he
gasped.

“
SO DID YOU!!”

“
Our promises aren’t worth shit!”
Benny laughed. We laughed harder. We were seriously in
hysterics.

“
Benny and Pinky, sitting in a
tree!!” Daryl Agnew started singing, as he held up some glittering
lingerie he’d just bought himself.

“
Who ate all my lollies!!” Gerry
yelled from his desk.

Benny and I pointed at each other.

So funny.

Matt looked at me with those intense eyes of
his today as I left.

I kinda REALLY DIG the way he looks at
me.

Saturday 8 July 2000

4.20pm

Nat and I took over a dozen yellow roses to
Joy’s house for her birthday today, then visited Mum, who is doing
a lot better. We drove her home from the hospital today and did her
grocery shopping.

I’m so stuffed. Going to take a lovely nap.
These are the times I’m grateful to be single…no one to wake you
up!!

5.01pm

Damn it. Evvy woke me up.

5.15pm

He just called ‘to say hello’.

It is Saturday night, after all. Which means
date night for him and Tom.

5.35pm

God his voice is sexy.

5.46pm

I can’t sleep now.

5.57pm

Stupid sexy Everard.

Tuesday 11 July 2000

9.58pm

Sherrie actually had lunch with me
today!!!!!!!

….

But Katie was away sick.

So I was SUPPOSED to stop in at Beth’s after
work and drop her in the latest Avon catalogue, but I forgot I’d
promised Dan I’d go to the gym with him and Josh. I figured I would
do it afterwards, but the boys spend HOURS at the gym, and I knew I
wouldn’t get home till late.

So I rang Beth dead on 6pm and explained I
couldn’t come, could I drop it off tomorrow night, and she
seriously cracked it at me!!

It went like this:

“
Hello?”

“
Hey Bethy Wethy!!”

(don’t know why I resort to baby talk with
Beth, other than she’s scary and I resort to an infant state out of
pure terror)

“
Hey babe!!”

(she’s genuinely happy to hear from me. She
loves me. Beth loves me!!)

(that’ll change in two seconds)

“
How are you?? How was your
day?”

(showing interest in one’s friends – before
blowing them off – very proper and decent of me)

“
OH GOD, don’t even get me started
on my day – ”

(a pause, before she works up to a long, drawn
out description of her day…which seems like a very LONG day,
judging by the LONG reenactment of her day she just gave
me)

“
Hey listen…”

(I interrupt as gently and nonchalantly as
possible, like this is no big deal…damn it!! I’m
Sherrie)

“…
You know that Avon book I was
gonna drop off tonight??...”

Deadly, deathly pause. (Anabeth so needs to
have children, because she has the scary mum pause down pat) “Yes.
What. About. IT.”

(fuck, she’s scary)

“
Is it okay if I drop it off
tomorrow night? I thought I’d have time before the gym, but I
really don’t, and it’ll be late by the time I get home, and I’m
really, really tired…”

(I trail off at the deadly silence on the other
end)

“
You SAID you would bring it tonight
– ”

“
Yes, but – ”

“
It’s DUE Thursday!! We have to have
our orders in by Thursday – ”

“
Yes but – ”

“
How am I SUPPOSED TO look through
an ENTIRE Avon book in ONE NIGHT, and COME UP WITH my order in ONE
NIGHT – ”

(first world problems there)

“
Well, you’ve got a day to decide –
”

“
NO I DON’T!!! I have ONE NIGHT TO
DECIDE MY ORDER!!!”

“
Oh, is that Dan??”

(imaginary Dan has arrived in his imaginary
car, beeping his imaginary horn)

“
I’m so sorry Beth, I’ve gotta go,
but I’ll bring it tomorrow night, I promise!!”

“
Yes, well – ”

“
Love you, bye!!!”

(when all else fails, tell them you love
them)

Anyway, the gym was good. Dan and Josh are fun,
when it’s just them! No annoying girlfriends.

I’m not sure why boys act like such douches
around their women, but they go from fun, carefree, happy guys to
like old men that have been beaten down for fifty years. They start
to sigh, like A LOT, and roll their eyes and say things like “Are
you wearing THAT out tonight?? You look like a skank,” then go
cower in a corner when their girlfriend starts shrieking at
them…

GOD, why do I even want a relationship again??
Every couple I know makes it look like some form of
torture.