Shane and Trey[ Enemies to Lovers 01 ] (29 page)

“I don’t, but I figured it couldn’t be too hard. Flour, milk, eggs, salt, right? Besides,” she hesitated over the pan before resting the fish slice, “I needed something to do.” I didn’t miss the glance at the microwave clock.

I grabbed a plate and rested the stodgy pancake on it. Moved to her side and looped an arm around her shoulder. The closest we’d come to a hug since I’d told her about Trey.

She looked at me, worry a light shadow on her face. Her words ringed with hesitation and uncertainty. “He’ll come, Shane. This time he will.”

I hope so too.

“It means so much you came again today.” June leaned her head on my shoulder and wove her hands around my waist. “You’re the best brother I have.”

I grinned into her hair and let her go. “The only brother you have.”

June smirked and bit into a ripped a piece of pancake. “Ugh!” She spat it out. “Way too much salt.” She smacked her lips in distaste and scowled at me. “Why didn’t you warn me they were so bad?”

I chuckled as she scraped the rest of the batter into the bin. She took the dirty dishes and piled them up near the sink and our chatter somehow lead back to Trey. A brief smile graced her face before it fell again.

“Uh, what time did you want Trey around tonight?” she asked.
“Nine o’clock is good.” She nodded and turned around. I grabbed the scrubbing brush of her and bumped her to the side. “I’ll wash. It’s the least I can do for you… uh, helping me out.” I paused. “June, why are you doing this for me?”

She kept her gaze on the dishtowel she’d plucked from the oven. “It’s for thebothof you. I”—she twisted the material around her hands—“I—it’s a start.” She braved eye contact. Her own were moist. “It still hurts sometimes, what happened and all—but you didn’t hurt me Shane, neither did Trey. It was, well, just a sucky truth for me. But I am happy, in some way, that the two of you are together. How could I not be? You both are my two favorite people.”

She motioned for me to start washing instead of staring at her. I dunked the bowl into the soapy water. “So, I’m helping you guys tonight, because it’s a start. For me to show you guys that I will be alright.”

I placed the dripping bowl onto the rack, then, wet fingers and all crushed her into another hug.

Light steps entered the room. I glance up at Mom over June’s shoulder. She smiled at us, and I almost heard the Glad you two knowwhat’s important,come from it.

We all chatted together in the kitchen as we finished the dishes. For a moment it was as if we all lived together again. Like college never began. “Shane,” Mom said to me when June scuttled off into the living room. “How are you doing?”

I knew this wasn’t an all and everything howare you doing, but a question targeted at my relationship with Trey and the one with my sister. With Trey?Great, super, wonderful, amazing.With June? I smiled. “Things are looking up, Mom.”

“Good. I—I’m happy to hear that.” She beckoned me into her study across from the living room. “I”—she sat down and met my gaze—“Are you planning on telling your father?”

Until that moment, I hado ho Shen’t thought of it. It’d always been a no go in my mind.He’ll be disgusted, curse something rabid, probably disown me.Yet despite all that…maybe. It was something I never thought I’d do. But that had been before. Before Syd’s story, before seeing his dad apologize, before realizing it was possible Dad could have changed too.

Still, possible. Not probable.

“It’s up to you how and when and even if you tell him, Shane, but I wanted you to know again that no matter how he reacts, you still have a mother and a sister that loves you completely. That are so proud of the person you’ve grown up to be.”

Her voice rose a notch, and I knew she was holding back from crying. I crossed the small room and threw my arms around her, letting her perfume envelope me.It feels so safe here.“Anyway,” she said after a good mom-son hug, “I’m going to be right here in this room if you need me. Just call and I’ll be right there.”

The doorbell rang. Mom and I both checked our watches at the same time. “Would you look at that,” she said, surprised, “he’s even early.”

I allowed myself a small grunt and went to open the door. Dad gave me a lazy grin and a hello before waltzing into the house. “Where’s my Juney?”

June leaped up from the couch, relief relaxing her. “Dad! It’s so good to see you.” I heard in her voice just how much she meant it. I hung back, perched on the arm of the couch.

Dad took off his cap and started spinning it between his fingers. “So how’s college been treating you?” He raised a brow, focusing mostly on June. Every time he looked in my direction he seemed to close up.Guess he hasn’t forgotten my words last week.
He fished two envelopes out of his back pocket and threw them onto the coffee table. In his scrawled handwriting were our names. One for June, one for me.

June, more animated than I expected of her, told Dad all about classes and, well, basically gave him a rundown of the last few months. When he asked if she was still with that Trey fella June glanced at me, and shook her head. “No, ah, we’re not anymore.”

“Pity, I liked that guy.” Would he still like the guy if he knew?

He stuck his cap back on and rested his head back on the armchair. “And what about you, Shane?” His voice sounded strained. “How are you?”

I pondered the question, tossing possible answers around in my head. I could play along:I’m good, college is fine— blah, blah, blah. But it would a load of crap. Wouldn’t mean a thing. I couldn’t do this with him. It was fake. We were better off not knowing each other.

Then the image of Syd father lying in hospital came back to me.I so would care if it had been Dad.June’s words of a week earlier rang in my head,I think a part of you wished you could believe in him too.

I swallowed down the hard lump in my throat.She’s right. I should give him a chance.

 

My gut twisted. I wiped my clammy hands onto my jeans. I could give him a chance, but it would be done on my terms.

I met Dad’s gaze and held it. “Honestly, Dad, I’m angry. I wish I could say I love—heck even like—your calls or visits, but I dread them. I feel like a disappointment when I’m around you and I feel guilty for who I am. But I like the guy I am. Growing up with you…” I took a moment to collect myself, I could feel the start of a tear slipping. “…it wasn’t so easy.” Why was I holding back these tears?That’s exactly what I’m talking about. About being myself.“I want to forgive you for that, but it’s sort of up to you, and it will take effort on your part.”

Dad narrowed his eyes but surprised me by not saying anything except to grunt.

“What I need from you right now is for you to listen to what I’m saying. If you love me at all, you’ll say nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not a word. I hopenothe at you’ll give me so much respect.”

June came and sat behind me on the couch. The motion meant a lot, her way of backing me up. I took a deep breath and tried to ignore the flipping nerves inside. I met Dad’s gaze.Now. Say it... “I like other guys, Dad. I’m gay.”

His face scaled through colors, first paling then flashing to brighter and brighter shades of red. His lip trembled and I saw the words threatening to come off them, starting with you telling me you’re a fucking fag…

I flinched in expectation. Nothing.

My hands shook at my sides and a folded them around myself like a hug. In a shaky voice I finished, “So think about whether you want us to have a relationship at all. If you will accept me for who I am, if you do that, then you can call me.”

I got up to leave the room, and at the same time he stood. The anger in his eyes sent a shiver through me.But he hasn’t said a word.

He moved to the coffee table and his hand hovered over the envelope with my name on it. I watched him. What would he do?

He looked at me one more time and shook his head. His fingertips scraped the paper, but after a moment’s hesitation he skimmed over it, turned, and left the house. No goodbye to June. Just his heavy footsteps and a slam of the door.

Still, he hadn’t said a word.

 

***

I gurgled some water from my drink bottle and spat it out into the wash basin. Through the bathroom doors I heard the dulled pumping of music winding its way from the Ori Café stage. Each time there came a lull, my stomach tightened.Not long now.

Looking in the smudgy mirror, I ran a nervous hand over my hair.Remember, this is for Trey. Just focus on him.

I emerged and headed back to the little room behind the stage, where Syd sat. I plunked myself onto the tiny sofa next to him. Glanced at my watch.

“Only one more song,” he said. “Then Lucas will introduce you onstage, without saying your name as you requested.”

I nodded and drummed my fingers on the guitar case. “Nervous much?” “Care to stab a guess at that?”

Syd laughed. “Yeah. But seriously, you’re going to do fine out there. People will just love your voice.”

 

I let out a shaky breath. “Thanks for getting Lucas to agree to this.”

 

“It was nothing. He’s thrilled to be able to do something as a thanks for being there for me this week.”

My cellphone buzzed and I read the text from June. Sweet. Just arrived. He hasn’t got a clue. Thinks we’re having a friendly catch up.

As soon as I’d read it, my phone buzzed again. I smiled. Hey. Gone for a drink with June. Won’t b back 2 late. Hope u got ur stuff done. XOXO, Trey.

I smiled.Not done yet. But soon.

The song wound down. My heart picked up. I heard Lucas’s words muffled by the wall. “And now we’re going to take a short break ladies and gentlemen. During that time we have a special treat for you.”

As he made the short introduction I readied myself near the stage entrance. Syd stood next to me, waiting until Lucas and his band came off. Lucas cracked a grin at the same time Syd punched me lightly in the arm. “Go crack a note.”

I gripped my blue baby and shuffled on stage to the stool Lucas had set out for me. The café was small enough that I could see the audience clearly. I scanned the crowds. Trey sat with June at the bar, his back to me. I smiled.For you.

I struck the first few chords my fingers flowing, strumming, plucking. The sound came out clean, sweet. Trey stirred at the sound of the guitar, but it was at my first line he swiveled so fast on his stool he almost fell off.

I stared at him. The words coming to life by the truth in them. By the fact I sung it to him. When I got to the last verse, Trey wiped his eyes with the back of his hands, but continued to hold my gazee atomin. I sang the chorus twice through to finish the song.

Oh my chestnut baby, Knowthat I accept To always keep it real To care and to respect

I smiled at him over the clapping crowd. Just for you.He stood up and the crowds melted either side of him as he headed to the side of the stage. With my guitar in hand I hurried off stage, almost throwing my guitar at Syd. He caught it as Trey grabbed me lifting me so I was hooked around his waist. There were no words. No more needed to be said, but the look in his eyes spoke endless words of kindness, admiration and love.

And his kiss? Yeah, well, that said everything else.

 

***

 

Four months later. . .

 

Ecstatic. There was no other word to describe him. Trey locked me into a vice grip. “I passed!”

“Good. Now I won’t be the one driving us everywhere.” Not that I minded, but—sweet!—I smiled at the possibility of longer road trips just the two of us.

He reluctantly let me go and handed over the car keys. “We should really get back.” He lowered his voice. “There’s just so much I want to do to you right now that I don’t think Bob there will appreciate.”

I raised an oh-so-innocent brow. “Oh yeah?” He bit his bottom lip, and I practically jumped into the car. Trey slid in. “Ah, Shane, didn’t you want to drive?”

I shook my head. “No way. I think I’ll let you be my chauffeur for a while.”

 

He greedily took the back the keys I dangled in front of him. The entire trip to the dorms I watched him.So beautiful.

The parking lot was full, so Trey found a space on the street. In one go, he parallel parked. His face glowed with pride as he turned off the car.

“I love you, Trey.” The words slipped effortless off my tongue. They felt right. Natural. And I was smiling as I said them.

Trey’s eyes softened at hearing me speak those words for the first time. His lashes closed together and opened. The softest, sweetest, purest smile answered my own. He leaned over, resting one arm on the back of the seat. “I know.”

“You do?” His lips met mine. “How could I not? You show me all the time.”

 

--THE END-Acknowledgments

Thank you first to my wonderful family, whose support has been so warm and inspiring. To Gay Authors for finding so many friends along the journey of creating this story and for all the amazing help they’ve offered to make my writing better. And to Caroline Wimmer for the amazing cover-art.

Thank you all.