Sharecropping The Apocalypse: A Prepper is Cast Adrift (34 page)

“Adieu! Adieu!” Loomis said, doffing his hat in a gentlemanly bow, nudging Crick to do the same.

“Boy, you look nice, Loomis! You and Crick sure decorated up well!” Bertha said, with a whisper to Rossi did she see the pretty blue bow on Loomis’ hat underwear?

“Ya’ll come on in! We got you all a fine supper fixed up!” Rossi said, flouncing her gingham dress fishing for more compliments.

“Well I declare, aren’t you two the most charming ladies I ever seen!” Crick said, remembering everything Clem had said about entering the home of this one Bertha Bartholomew.

“Shitfire, I told you they’d pretty up nice!” Clem declared. “Smells awful good around here! But you won’t believe the great news I got for you! Now you been telling me, Bertha, for a hundred years that all my ideas ain’t worth nothing! Crick
here has been telling me I’m going to be the Mas
ter of Disaster! I’m telling you, and you are not going to believe it! He wants them paddle wheels off that old swamp logger I used to run down here. We are going to save the day, Bertha! Why he is going to attach them paddles to his own tractor and ride that damn thing of mine all the way over there and rescue them folks! Me and you get to go along and watch too! Rossi can also, if she behaves her damn self. Now listen up, that is I mean, if we don’t have to first go see how those old animals got fixed up pretty for the day!”

“Well you can tell me your story on the way to the corral. The animals been waiting to show off their finery and you know how impatient that mule gets.” Bertha said as she led the way to te barn.

The Mule, the goat and the cow were lined up together at the corral rail like they were patiently ready to stand inspection for a military parade.

Everyone ooohed and awed appropriately over the animals and told them how fine they looked and they seemed to eat up all the attention and compliments until Bertha gave them their Sunday dinner treat of oats and molasses.

Clem chattered all the way back to the house and all through dinner and into the night telling Bertha about the big plans to try and fix up the old share cropper shacks and get a crop in  the field. Bertha couldn’t really wrap her head around the fact that the power was out all over the United States and probably wouldn’t be back on for several years, if ever. She agreed that some of the preppers could stay and work the land on shares but worried about how they were going to feed that many extra  folks until harvest time came around. Clem explained that Crick and Loomis had some ideas about that and that if they could find a boat somewhere, Crick had a friend that might be bringing them some commercial fishing nets if he could get in touch with him.

“Well if he can’t, Clem, we could build some split oak catfish traps, come to think of it I think we still got a few stored up in the top of the barn. Oh, it will be so nice to have folks working the old place again. Clem you best look around up in the attic  at the big house and see if there is any serviceable clothes left and bring them down for me and Rossi-girl to wash and mend.” Bertha said.

“Sure Bertha, Loomis can help me with that. He is sticking around for a few days until Crick gets back. He might be back sooner if he can get Slim to give him a ride home.” Clem said speaking of his neighbor about 5 miles away.

“I been by his place twice last couple weeks and didn’t see hide nor hair of him. House is locked up, driveway don’t have no tire tracks in it after that rain we had a week ago.” Rossi said referring to her wide ranging hunting and wanderings through the fields and woods around the area.

”Sounds like he has gone off somewhere, Crick. Might take you a lot longer than you expected to get home.” Bertha said worrying about him.

“How long you reckon it will take you to pedal all the way home?” Clem asked Crick.

“Oh, I should be able to make it in a day if I don’t run into any trouble. No one hardly lives on the road to the house so I am not expecting any trouble.’ Crick advised.

“Well, come by early for breakfast and I will fix you a sack lunch to take with you.” Bertha advised as she bid everyone good night.

.

10

CRICK`S RIDE

Crick peddled the old chopped bicycle down the two lane county road leading to the main highway and cussed its wobbly front wheel for the millionth time today. It was hot as hell riding out on this asphalt and it was impossible to go more than a moderate speed before the rickety thing tried to rattle his fillings out. Going downhill was really interesting and a bitch because this part of the country was filled with hills. If you didn’t have enough speed at the bottom of a hill you might as well walk and push the bike up the next hill. If you were not real careful with the front hand caliper brake, you could lose control very easily and end up in a ditch. Problem was, it didn’t have no coaster brake for the back wheel and that caliper front wheel brake was all he had. Crick already found out how persnickety a front brake on a chopper is and was probably only good for performing backward wheelies.

Crick hadn’t seen a single car or person his entire way home and he was glad he lived a bit remotely. He hoped his home was in the same condition he had left it in and mulled over what he was going to do if it wasn’t. His guns were locked up in a safe so he wasn’t sweating that. His preps were pretty well secured but if someone had broken in and found them, then 10 to 1 they were still there chowing down on his food. That scenario was scarier than he cared to dwell on and instead he focused on what Loomis and Clem were going to be doing today.

They were going to going to get the paddle wheels off the old tractor and that was no small feat because they looked like they weighed a ton. Once they got that done Bertha had said they could use the mule to plow up some of the sharecropper house garden plots if they took it real slow. “Mind you, Loomis, neither that mule, that plow or them worn leather traces with the rusty buckles been worked in a while and any one of them things are liable to give out when they aren’t supposed to.” Bertha said.

Bertha had really taken a liking to Loomis and thought it was hilarious that he was going to try his hand at handling the mule and the old offset plow.

Clem told him that mule was mighty cantankerous but Loomis had assured him he had handled mules before as well as plows and could do the job if the mule could do his.

Bertha explained to Loomis that the mule might be old but it was strong and could do the job. Whether or not Loomis could get Toby the mule to do it or not remained to be seen.

Crick had a full tank of gas in the tractor and he could get all he wanted once he got back to all the stranded vehicles at Prepper Stock. He chuckled to himself thinking about arriving on a paddle wheeled tractor towing a barge and how surprised everyone would be.

He was going to find out what was going on with the authorities when he got home if the phones were working. If they were not, he had a lot of thinking to do about whether or not he was going to ride his tractor in to town to seek any out.

Crick figured doing that would be futile and time consuming but it had to be considered. He had debated that with himself and Loomis and it basically had all boiled down to what kind of news and insights he could get once he arrived at his destination. If the phones worked, he could check in with some friends and try to get the lay of the land before contacting the fire department or somebody to advise them of the people stranded on the island.

The prospect of possibly being able to actually get back to Bertha`s and Clem`s place on the Mc Cloud plantation tomorrow, attach the paddle wheels and do a test run over to the island without the barge was just too much for him. First thing in the morning whether he got in touch with any rescuers or not he was heading back to Prepperstock.

The barge had to be checked out but Clem said it was still attached at the ferry crossing landing and wouldn’t be anything to get it loose and hook it to the tractor for towing or pushing.

Crick hadn’t thought about just pushing the barge which was described as basically a platform on pontoons. It was strong enough to transport 1 car across the river, had a railing around it and was occasionally rented out as a party boat tow for them spring breakers and tourists.

Clem had said if they could figure out how to attach the front wheel or forks of the tractor to the barge like an outboard motor, they would basically have themselves a pretty good paddleboat. The boat would steer just like the tractor did with the wheel but in their case it would cause the back paddle wheels to pivot in the direction they wanted to go. Basically, what you were doing is turning the whole body of the tractor to swing the two paddle wheels and keeping the singular tire in the front stable someway if you were attached to the barge deck.

Crick would look at what Clem had in mind later. His tractor had to stay mobile and unencumbered right now, it was his only transport and there were plenty of fields that needed tending. Once he got Morgan and his wife back over here they would have the use of another car and tractor and having that extra transport was a game changer.

The curve of the road marking the property line of Crick`s Farmstead came up and Crick stopped pedaling and just rested and listened for a moment on the side of the road. It was all quiet and his nose couldn’t tell if it was fresh wood smoke he was smelling or the forests burning miles from here that had filled his senses all day with acrid smells.

He peddled down to his driveway and viewed his house from a distance. Everything looked all right from this perspective but caution was still called for. Crick laid the bike down at the edge of the woods and cautiously made his way to the house. A slow walk around it eying windows for damage or forced entry and finding the back door still secured put a big smile on his face as he realized nobody had messed with his stuff.

He opened his door and a deep sense of relief came over him as he went in and viewed his familiar surroundings. He then rushed over to the wall and removed the handset of the kitchen phone from it’s cradle and listened. Yes! He had dial tone, Crick thought excitedly and then spied the half bottle of whiskey sitting on the counter next to the sink.

“Oh yea, that’s for me!” Crick said to himself while hanging the phone back up and heading to the cupboard to get a glass. He then opened his refrigerator to get a Coke and was taken aback by the smell.

“Whew! That is bad funky! I must of not cleaned that thing out as much as I thought I had of perishable food before I left for Prepper Stock. Damn, I aint worrying about that rotten garbage now.” Crick thought and just grabbed a partial liter of coke to fix himself a drink. Ice Machine! Got to remember to hook up my ice machine here in a bit.” He mused while pouring flat coke into a glass containing a shot of whiskey.

“Ah Ambrosia!” Crick declared after taking a long swig out of it.
Horses! How are the horses? He hadn’t seen them on his way in. Probably hanging out in the shade over by the barn.” Crick mused and went to look out his bedroom window.

“There they are.” He rejoiced to himself after spotting the pair. He was supposed to carry Loomis one back but figured it would be best to just bring him back to the house to get it. No sense trying to lead a horse with a tractor all the way back to Clem`s. I wonder if Loomis is actually going to try that wagon train thing he keeps talking about? Oh yea, speaking of which he had phone calls to make. Who was he going to call first?” Crick pondered before the name David instantly came to mind.

Crick went back over to the phone, his mind whirling with ten thousand things that needed to be done or said today and dialed David`s number.

The phone was ringing, “Hello?” Julie`s voice came crackling over the receiver.

11

A WAITING AND A WISHING

“Damn Clem, these bolt nuts are rusted on here pretty good.” Loomis fussed as he added a length of pipe to the wrench he was using to get some better leverage.

“I told you we should of let that penetrating oil work on them some before trying to take them off. Hell, they been drove in a swamp and parked here about 15 years.” Clem groused.

“Yea I know, I just wanted to get this chore out of the way. I wonder how Crick is making out?” Loomis said getting some satisfaction as the nut he was working on began to loosen.

“Oh he be fine. I hope Slim got back from where ever he went to, could be he went and gave Crick a ride home but I told him that if there was enough gas in Slim`s truck to come back over here first and jump my truck off.” Clem said looking out the barn door hoping he would see a cloud of red dust coming down the driveway.

“If Slim was coming, I imagine they would have already gotten here by now. Most likely Crick is halfway home and thinking about breaking for lunch. What the hell is a ‘corn dodger’ anyway, Clem? I saw Bertha give him a small bag of them this morning.” Loomis said finally getting the nut off the rusted threads of the tractors’ wheel.

“They are kind of like fried corn nuggets or hushpuppies. Traveling food, Bertha calls them. Basically they are made with sugar, salt, cornmeal, flour and lard. They will fill you up and last a longtime without refrigeration. I like mine’s with Tobasco sauce.” Clem advised and changed the subject to inquire about the other two men that were sent out rafting from the castaway’s campgrounds.

“Well, like I told you, Crick and I went right and they went left a bit upstream to look for a usable boat or get some help. They are supposed to stay near the shoreline and backtrack this way if they can’t find anything useful or any help. What’s down that way anyway, Clem?” Loomis asked trying to wrestle another nut off the wheels.

“Not much as far as I know, haven’t been down that way in years. Used to be a couple fish camps scattered about, a boat landing and a wooden cabin or two. Rich folks been buying up plots and building lake houses on this end of the lake, I don’t know if they have been doing the same down that way. Most of it is paper company land or National forest. Maybe when Crick gets back we can take my truck and go looking for your friends.” Clem said mulling the situation over.

“That would be most appreciated; let’s get that chain hoist hooked to this paddle wheel, Clem. I only have 3 bolts left on this side and one
I already got loosened.” Loomis said wiping the sweat off his face with a bandana.

THE END BOOK TWO OF THE PREPPER ADRIFT SERIES

1

MAKING READY

“Bertha is you about ready to go down to the landing? Crick and Loomis have finished putting them paddle wheels on his tractor and are just cleaning up.”  Clem asked through the screen door on the front of Bertha’s porch.

“In just a minute Clem, I just got to finish putting our lunch together. Rossy Ross brought me three rabbits just after breakfast I fried up. Told her you would replace the shotgun shells for them and that she could come along for the trip. Did you fuel the truck up yet with that gas Crick brought you?” Bertha said bustling back to the kitchen to get a jar of her homemade sweet bread and butter pickles to add to her grapevine basket full of lunch fixings.

“That sounds good! We sure have been putting on a nice spread and eating well since we got visitors down this way. I hope they don’t come to expect such fine meals out of us all the time though.” Clem said only half joking and not voicing all his concerns for the future state of affairs of their dinner table.

“Yes we sure enough have! I wouldn’t worry yourself none though Clem. Them boys has got lots of common sense and no city folk airs or misconceptions about them concerning what it takes to live through hard times...” Bertha began before Clem started to object and came on into the house.

“Wipe your feet first Clem! Land sakes you can keep a body busy! Your boots are dusty and me and Rossy got my place all swept up and clean to receive company.” Bertha scolded and then handed him the wicker basket holding their picnic lunch for the day and then began to sort of push and herd him back out the door.

“Dang it, now Bertha I ain`t dirtying nothing up in here. Besides old woman, I done told you that we aren’t going to get no newcomers today. We are just going to be going to the river and trying out one of my inventions to see how good it does.” Clem complained looking around for Crick and Loomis to see if they were within ear shot so he could finish what it was he wanted to talk to Bertha about.

“Now Clem, what’s got you so antsy and looking like your boots are pinching’ at your toes? You look like you going to bust at the seams. Bertha asked, adjusting her little house on the prairie looking bonnet instead of her normal red bandana on her head.

“What’s got a hold of me? Girl what’s got a hold of you today? What’s got you wearing that Sunnybrook farm bonnet anyway; you decide we are going to have Sunday go to meeting service today? What are you thinking over there? You too good for your regular old bandana now that we got ourselves some new city folk visitors here abouts? Land sakes old women, you putting on your Sunday best for folks we don’t even know yet that will probably be all looking like death warmed over and not caring a hoot if you were even bald headed. Now Loomis and Crick we already seen they’s are nothing more than some down to earth good ol country boys at heart and what do we care anyway if half them other folks on that island they have been talking about are the city slicker types coming over here? No need to put on airs for none of them neither I say! They going to have to learn to be farmers now and the closet thing they going to see to a office cubicle is cleaning out a horse stall around here. Why Bertha, You the one that said yourself that you only wanted certain types of people allowed in your house and now you want to get all duded and frilled up and let just any kind of folks come sit on your front porch and access your kitchen? Hell you don’t want even me coming in here half the time. I am telling you, you might want to look the bunch over real good before you get too friendly with any of them.” Clem said, grabbing one side of his overall suspenders and holding the basket on the other side body in a casual but aggressive stance, wanting to have this argument out and over here and now.

“What you talking about, Clem? You said they’s going to be sharecropping over here, is there something you need to be tellingly me about them people from that island? You tell that Crick to leave any of them bad type boys over there far away from the shacks or we ain`t got no room for none of them! You tell him that good now you hear?” Bertha said, loosening the tie downs on her bonnet so she could hear Clem`s response better and probably also to let the steam of her anger out from under it.

“Now Bertha, you silly old thing, you know that there are all kinds of people in this here world and in the worst of times the bad often times comes out in people as you well know! What might be your friends today could be your enemy tomorrow when you get down to the last pickle in the barrel, if you know what I mean?” Clem said, trying to warn the old woman about having too much of an open door and faith policy for the unknown guests that were soon to be arriving.

“I knows that Clem! I still want to know if they told you ‘bout anybody particular to look out for, they can leave them over on that there island till later, you know?” Bertha said, opening the screen door reaching around into her umbrella stand to get what she called her pokey stick.

Pokey sticks are any kind of strong wooden stick or sometimes vine curled canes or staffs country folks use to go investigate something they don’t know too much about what it might be that drew their attention.

Before diving into a blackberry patch to do some picking, you poke around to make sure there isn’t a snake or some kind of snarly creature in there to mess with you first. If Clem hollers, then you had better grab your pokey stick to come help him cause you never know what it is you might be up against, could be a fox, snake, possum or other country critter you might need to help him poke at. Also it is a point of conversation of many a kid, you got to go poke something creepy with a stick and talk about it! I don’t know why poking things with a stick becomes the point of conversation, but that’s the way it is, if you don’t know what it is, poke it with a stick and then talk about it later!

Clem eyed Bertha studiously for a moment and then thought about just what her getting out a pokey stick meant and that he hoped she wouldn’t be poking at him with it today. Clem reckoned that like with the old family and the lobster she mistook for a dragon once that they might be needing them a pokey stick for defense. And if Clem didn’t calm her down some and quit funning her he might get her all spooked like when she was a girl and then she might end up just starting to spin around and start whomping everything in sight like that danged old mule of hers did when it had a fit!

As Bertha raised her pokey stick like she was going to do an attitude adjustment on someone or something, Clem raised a hand and soothingly said, “Bertha, as far as I know there ain`t nobody in particular at all in that bunch we got to worry about. But then again they’s starving folks just the same. They are just like starving dogs that wouldn’t normally bite you on a better day but those folks are starving and bone tired weary by now and ain`t got their good sense or wits and manners about them. I just as soon you leave that stick at home today Bertha, but we’s going to be around the river and weeds. You remember now, you don’t be going whopping no two-legged critters, you hear me? I promise I won’t fun you or try to scare you with no dead snakes neither and upset you. What I’m trying to tell you is sort of like when I tried to teach you playing poker one time, you got to keep your poker face on and not show your hand to people! We don’t want to be showing them everything we got at first and they’re going to be trying to figure out what we might have put back anyway. There’s fifty or more of them folks that we ain`t never met yet and from what Crick and Loomis been telling us they all got guns or knives they are going to be toting’, and they could take anything we got if they wanted to I reckon.” Clem said.

“Oh so I should go get my gun instead Clem?” Bertha turning toward the door to head for her rifle instead of her pokey stick.

“No Bertha I ain`t saying that at all, you just leave your rifle home where its at and take your stick, Knowing you. You got yourself a straight razor in your garter belt as backup anyway!” Clem said making her uncomfortable, underwear in her opinion was only supposed to be referred to in a hat and not on your person in polite conversation.

“Look here Bertha; I see that Loomis and Crick are heading down here now so we got to cut this conversation a might short. I’m only just advising you that we only tell them folks everything they know, not everything that we know about the goings on at this place. We are just a pair of old dirt farmers but we got more cards than they do for winning this here survival game we find ourselves in.” Clem said letting the warning sink in.

“I ain`t never understood all the rules ‘bout them poker games of yours, you always seems to be changing the rules on me! I am going to have to get Crick to pull out that Holt’s book of rules while he is here so’s I can keep up with you and your shenagins. Every time we’re disagreeing about them rules, you pull out that durn book and read off sometimes a sentence or two in your favor that just sounds different from what you told me before and I think you might have been pulling my leg so you could win!” Bertha said to try to see if Clem had been up to something sneaky or not.

“Have them check those dice your Uncle Luke left you Bertha while you’re at it. Them’s loaded dice, I swear Bertha and you knows it!” Clem reminded her

Thankfully Crick and Loomis came up the red dusty clay dirt road within what was considered earshot by the pair of old porch-sitters and ended their little fray they were about to have over who’s more apt to be cheating who.