Sharecropping The Apocalypse: A Prepper is Cast Adrift (36 page)

Nodding heads of assent for the plan occurred but soon an argument ensued about where the picnic basket was going to be transported at and the seating order for everyone. Bertha said she didn’t care as long as the basket was away from Loomis which created even more confusion and hub bub.    

Crick and Loomis were all for riding in the back of the pickup and stuffing Rossy Ross in between Bertha and Clem inside the pickup.

Bertha wanted Loomis in the middle of her and Clem in the trucks cab for whatever reason, and Rossy could ride in back to advise Crick of the local sights. Scientifically, there was no way in hell Loomis could fit in between Bertha and Clem in that truck and there weren’t no way he was sitting in her lap so somehow it ended up with Rossy Ross, Loomis and Crick all riding in the back of the truck as Bertha hung out the window trying to talk to Loomis all the way!

That conversation wasn’t going well what with the sound of the wind and the engine and every time that conversation got going good Clem would honk that “AH-OOOO_Ga” horn Loomis decided was sometimes like a model T and other times like the old General Lee’s horn in a TV sitcom as Clem seemed to hit a electronic switch or something to cause the first verses of Dixie to start playing right after it made its first strange sound.  Neither Crick nor Loomis had heard the damn horn before but memories of the movie Deliverance played in their heads as they were rolling down the country road.

Clem had an old can type boat air horn that he  put Rossy Ross in charge of to help raise a ruckus with as they progressed along hoping that the survivors they were hunting would hear it.

Problem being she like to point it playfully towards Loomis’s hat to see if she could get a rise out of the hat or him when she blew it and that didn’t go over well with him at all! Crick knew there wasn’t a house for miles around here so creating such a commotion seemed like good sense in this situation and Loomis’s blustering just added to the noise.

Well after about 15 or 20 minutes of raising a racket along that old country road trying to alert anyone who might be listening for help coming all the while scaring all kinds of critters along the way and no luck finding the other rafters, they finally got back to the mission at hand of going down to the river landing and the group turned back toward the house to pick up the tractor.

2

LOST FRIENDS FOUND

“What in the hell is all that noise going on? Do you reckon that it is somehow meant for us specifically? Could be rescuers or Crick trying to find us” Ben said cocking his head towards it and listening.

The  last fifteen minutes or so they’d been hearing the sounds of Dukes of Hazard meets McHale’s navy or something and evidently somebody had an old Model T around here or something similar with a klaxon horn and somebody else had some kind of musical horn. Ben and Beauregard figured someone must be trying awful hard to alert someone around here or draw attention to themselves but it was awful hard to figure out exactly where all that noise was coming from.

Then everything kind of went quiet up on the bluff for a while so they kept trudging along hoping it was probably Crick looking for them and eventually they would all meet up soon.

It had been three long days since they had washed up on the shore after leaving Castaway Island as they’d been referring to the place after Crick and Loomis had separated those rafts and sent them on their different ways.

The coal barge they had checked out soon after landing upon the opposite shore where it was washed up at but a brief examination showed it held nothing useable for them and where the tugboat was that had once pulled it had ended up at, nobody knows.

Ben and Beauregard hoped to find a boat or some house with some people willing to come help out but there was nothing along the area that they had been assigned to scout that offered anything useful for a rescue or a refuge.

It had taken them upwards of a half a day and then some to figure that out and then slowly begin backtracking while stopping occasionally along the way to fish and hunt blackberries in a vain attempt to get some sustenance and they were in a sorry state as they headed back to where they figured Crick and Loomis had gone ashore at.

They had seen the raft Crick and Loomis had used tied up in the weeds yesterday on the shore and the trail they had left leading up to the woods away from the raft but they didn’t follow that path and instead tried to stick to the shoreline like they were supposed too still doing their boat and house hunting. Then they had heard the crazy truck and horn sounds and decided to turn inland.

“Something is definitely going on up there, Beauregard! We are heading that way the very first clearer patch of woods and vines that we can find and go see  about what and who that is!” Ben said.

“Yeah, but what if it’s not Crick? I bet it is, but you never know, maybe someone wants somebody else besides us to come out of the woods for another reason?” Beauregard speculated.

“I don’t know, I do know at least if we keep on going along this way, everyone at Prepper Stock can see us going up the shore line soon and know that we are working on something to get them off that damn island, though I don’t know what that something might be right at the moment!” Ben said wearily trudging along.

“There’s those damn sounds again! Listen, now there’s a ‘beep beep’ sound like a truck backing up warning I am hearing not too far off.” Beauregard said as they listened to the sounds in the woods.

“I got no idea, doesn’t’ that look like smoke across the river from the campground?” Beauregard said, pointing in the general direction of the campground where they had first left on this excursion in to muck and mire.

“We got to go inland and upwards now regardless; there is a big ass ditch up ahead in front of us. Shit, lets sit down a second; I’m too totally worn out!” Beauregard declared.

“Look man, we got to be going on inland and up this hill now while we got plenty of noise to follow. We will take a break in a little bit ok? I am wore out to but we can wait on a rest. Somebody’s is riding around on what has to be some kind of a road nearby with all them car horns blaring.” Ben said eyeing the shore around them.

“Yee Haw!” A voice not too far away called. And all of the sudden they heard a big motor gun followed with the sound of a big splash.

Beauregard and Ben looked at each other trying to figure out what that might mean.

“EEe Hee Hee!” The sound like a female Earnest T Bass rang out not too far distant from their position on this side of the ravine.

“That’s close, what is it they could possibly be doing? Don’t sound like no rescue party to me.” Ben said checking his holstered pistol.

“Dang close, I say it sounds like a bunch of kids having fun at the beach.” Beauregard said, doing the same.

“They must have got themselves some kind of a boat! We need us a boat lets get hurrying along.” Beauregard said, pushing by Ben to get down to the pencil thin shoreline.

“Not so fast, we watch and wait! No telling who that might be, or for that matter how they will be acting after all these weeks without power! Hell they might be the superstitious type and be doing something crazy like drowning a witch or something.” Ben said thinking about how strange folks could get and who they might blame after a disaster or some odd religious belief they had influenced them.

“They are having fun with something though and it doesn’t sound much like anything bad offhand I would say.” Beauregard complained thinking that caution wasn’t that necessary now.

Two worn weary dirt smudged faces peered out of the bushes of the shoreline and they heard the putt-putting Lap-Lapping sound of some kind of boat coming around the bend.

“What do you think it is? Damn sure is a weird sounding boat motor” Beauregard said.

“Damned if I know, but keep quiet, that sounded kind of close and it will be here soon enough for us to get a look at it.” Ben said.

“Look sees I told you it would be here in a minute. Whatever it is coming this way it’s sure got dang big headlights!” Ben declared

“Headlights! What kind of headlights? How close are they together? You got a guess on its size?” Beauregard said sticking his head out from around the bushes to get a better look.

“What in the hell is that contraption?” Ben said, doing the same maneuver to get a better view.

The pair looked like Heckle and Jekyll sticking their heads out of the bushes on the very narrow shore with their bodies remaining hidden behind a bush  as Crick rounded the corner riding that paddlewheel looking gizmo they had created.

“Do what???” The pair both exclaimed at once in astonishment at the spectacle.

“Aw shit!” Crick declared seeing two dirty ugly wall trophy mount looking heads poking pistols out of a bush with there free hands while rubberneck looking his way and he started laying on his horn and creating a lot more noise that the shore party of Clem and crew took as a excuse to raise another ruckus of their own with hoots and horn blares in response.

Well, what with the sparkling sun lit water reflecting off the windshield and everything else awash in white foam from the paddle wheels and the odd crafts progress through the water, neither Ben nor Beauregard could see who was driving this odd looking contraption that looked like it had came out of the back swamps of Louisiana. Not that they were worried so much about a strange apparition in these times, but this one kind of took them aback and left them speechless as to what it was and what it was doing there.

What made it worse for them was whatever or whoever was driving the thing climbed halfway out the door and started yelling ‘Hey! Hey! I found them!” loudly as the driver hit a submerged log that nearly threw him out into the river before they got a good look at him.

“Found what, did what?” Beauregard said stepping out into the open for a better look. no longer worried about remaining behind cover anymore..

“You son of a bitches, you darn near scared me to death with those pistols poking out of the bushes towards me. Your surprising me like that nearly broke my rig!” Crick shouted not knowing whether he should go into reverse or go forward with this weird contraption he was traversing these waterways with to get off of whatever it was he had hit.

“Crick is that you?” Beauregard shouted.

“Well who the hell else would it be? You expect anyone else to come save your sorry hides today?” Crick hollered back jubilant and blessedly happy at finding his friends safe today.

“Damn man, just what in the hell is that thing you’re riding on and where did you find it?” Ben called out.

“Don’t be talking about my puddle jumper like that! I will have you know that one Clement T Bowman designed and engineered this for me special. You might have messed it up distracting me like that with your ugly mugs and uglier guns suddenly appearing in the bushes like that though, give me just a minute to assess some damage here.” Crick said as he checked out the paddlewheels and jumped up on the hood of the tractor for a better look.

“Let me get myself clear of this log and you all walk your pretty selves just about a hundred yards or so up the shore from here and through the woods apiece and we got friends waiting to meet you! Never seen crazy guys like you two poking their heads and guns out the bushes like that except in a bean the clown tent at the carnival show!” Crick said celebrating by fussing at them playfully and laughing as the pair came out of the thicket to stand on a clearer piece of shoreline.

“Can’t do it man, there is a bitch of a ditch over here full of mud and water that looks dang near impassable. We’ll try to go around Crick and meet you up their somewhere when we can get a clean path!” Ben hollered back.

“Who yare you talking to Crick? Who’s that? Is that them damn prisoner catcher releasers you been talking about?” Bertha bellowed in her strong voice out from the other farthest side of the ravine.

“They are our friends Bertha! Told you that already! You are going to like them just fine.” Crick said over the noise of the engines and all the crowing going on about all the confusion.

“Tell them to come on over here and get acquainted! I can keep Bertha in check,” Clem called out trying to get a glimpse at where the other voices were coming from.

“They can’t cross over from where they are at Clem, they’re stymied by a ditch that is between ya’ll!” Crick called back

“What the hell’s a ‘stymie’? Just float them on back on the tractor. Never mind I’ll come down there and get them myself, tell them to stay put David!” Rossy called.

“No you stay right there yourself Rossy where you’re at and don’t be pointing no guns at them when you do see them. They are our friends! Let me see if I can idle the engine here in front of them for a second and figure things out.” Crick said, deciding if it would be better than to shut the tractor down out here in the water or try to let it idle. 
Damn thing should start back up .He had enough experience with amphibious vehicles in the Army that he figured it should start as long a s the exhaust pipe and anything that made it go bang like the air scoop also
stayed above the waterline.’

Crick finally decided what to do and with an ‘Oh Hell’ this might hurt pause gingerly turned the key off to tractor in order make conversation possible over the noise of the engine and the lapping of the water from his wake.

“What’s up boys? You don’t look too bad considering the trip you been on.” Crick said swinging open the door of the tractor to greet his fellow rafters and figure out just what he’d hit in the shallows to stop him and figure out how best to get off of it.

“Well ain`t you a damn sight for sore eyes man! You couldn’t find anything better to captain than whatever that is you’re riding on? And who the hell are all these folks who keep yelling back at us?” Ben called back having some fun for the fist time in a month and curious as hell about what he would get back for an explanation...

“They’re some new friends we met! Awful good people actually, that believe it or not knows more about how to survive this disaster than the whole bunch of us preppers put together. I don’t know how you’re going to get over there but find your way best you can and I will see you over there.” Crick called looking at the ravine leading up to a bluff.

“Don’t worry about us; we will get our butts in gear and get there eventually. Have you been over to the Prepper camp yet?” Beauregard called out to him concerned about those they had left behind.

“No not yet, this is our very first maiden voyage if you want to call it that. I think they might can hear us over there but unless someone is fishing that steep slope at the far end away from camp they can’t see us this far away. “Crick said sitting down on the front end of the floating tractor boat and hiking his boots up on the bumper so he didn’t get his feet wet as the unwieldy craft rocked up and down in the rivers current.

“Got anything to eat?” Beauregard called out.

“Got something for you all good to eat already fixed, but you got to get back around that way somehow. Hey boys, this currents picking up, I got to fire this thing up!” Crick said as he started drifting down river some.

Crick climbed back into the cab and attempted to restart the old beast. RRR, RRRR the thing grumbled before its engine finally caught again and rumbled to life in a billow of smoke and diesel belching. Crick managed to pull out of the shallows and off the log he had hit and get in the main channel a bit more as he started to throttle down to make it back to the landing where Clem and Bertha stood waving at him at the other end of the bend.

“Now what we are going to do, Ben? Do you have a course of action you prefer?” Beauregard said.