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Authors: Chandra Ryan

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She smiled lazily up at him as she gently placed a hand over
his heart. “Phenomenal.”

He could stare down at that face for an eternity.
Unfortunately, as he heard the door to the command central open, he realized he
didn’t have that kind of time. “Shit.” He used his body to shield hers as much
as possible.

“God, Dixie. If you’re going to get laid in here, the least
you could do is lock the door. Or put a belt on the knob or something.” Ben’s
tone was teasing as his footsteps entered the room. “I mean, I shouldn’t have
to see your bare ass this early in the morning.”

When he’d heard the door open, he hadn’t thought things
could possibly get worse. He realized now how wrong he’d been.

“Shit.” This time it was Lisa who muttered the word.

“Lisa?” Ben’s voice had lost its jovial tone. “Seriously?
You screwed Lisa? In the control room? You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

Dixie didn’t have to look behind him to know Ben had stormed
out of the room. The slamming of the door told him that.

“Well, that was certainly awkward.” She laughed but the
sound had a bitter ring to it. “I’m sure I’m one of Ben’s favorite people now.”

Dixie didn’t like the way her face had drained of color. He
preferred her with the rosy glow she’d had just before Ben had walked in on
them. “It’s okay. I’ll fix it.” He pulled out of her and disposed of the condom
before he tugged his boxers and pants back up. She sat up but then sank her
head into her hands. This was not the start he wanted or had envisioned to
their relationship. And that’s what he planned this to be—the start to
something. “Lisa?” He squatted down in front of the desk and he put his palm
under her chin so he could guide her to look at him. “I’ll fix this.”

“He’s Nate’s father.” The words were rushed like some
tortured confession.

He was certain his smile held some sorrow, but he did his
best to hide the emotion. He couldn’t believe how badly he’d screwed this whole
thing up. They should’ve had this talk before they’d had sex. He’d just gotten
so carried away that he’d forgotten about all the complications surrounding
them. “I did the math that first night,” he said with a shrug. “I know it’s
important for you to be on good terms with him. He’s my closest friend. This is
important to me too. When I say, ‘I’ll fix this,’ they aren’t hollow words.”

She took a deep breath but then ventured a sad smile of her
own. “Thank you.”

“I do need to know something before I go find him, though.”
Wanting to touch her, he tucked a loose lock of hair behind her ear.

“Anything.”

“What is it that you want here? I’m not going to lie. I like
you. A lot. Have since the beginning.” He sighed as he ran his fingers through
his short hair. “Probably since I got your file. You’re smart, kind and tough
as hell.”

“I don’t know if I’d go so far as tough. I’ve been abducted
twice already.”

“Tough isn’t the same thing as strong. You’ve been through a
lot in the last two years but you haven’t let it break you or leave you jaded.
That’s tough.” He paused to give her a second to absorb his words. “I’d love
nothing more than to spend time with you and see where this goes. This wasn’t a
fling or an affair to me. But if you want me to step out of the way so you and
Ben can have a chance at being a family, I’d understand.” He’d understand but
it would hurt like hell.

“Wow.” She took a deep breath. “That was…blunt.”

“Not much time for games out here. Best to know what you
want and to go after it.”

“I’ve liked you since the first night, too, Dixie. How could
I not? You were like some action movie hero charging in and saving me and my
son.”

His heart raced as he waited for the inevitable “but”. He
felt sick at the thought of losing her. Images of the inevitability of her with
Ben tore at his gut but he refused to show any of it on his face.

“And I won’t lie. I still have feelings for Ben. He was my
first love and he gave me Nate. I’ll always feel something for him. But he’s my
past.” She reached out to him, her fingers gliding over his cheek. “And I think
he’s happiest there. I want a future.”

Did that mean what he hoped it meant? “So what are you
saying?”

Her cheeks turned the most delightful shade of pink as she
looked away from him. “I’d be interested in seeing where this goes.”

His whole body relaxed as he took his first easy breath
since the conversation had begun. “Good.” He rocked up on his heels so he could
kiss her lightly. “Why don’t you get dressed and I’ll go fix things with Ben.”

She looked down at her body as if just remembering she sat
naked in front of him and the soft-pink blush across her checks turned bright
red. “Thank you.”

He didn’t ask for a clarification. He actually didn’t really
care what she’d thanked him for. He was so happy they’d worked things out he
didn’t feel like pressing the matter. “I’ll be right back.”

As soon as he left her behind, though, his good mood started
to fade. She’d chosen him, but Dixie couldn’t help but imagine how he’d feel if
she’d picked Ben over him. The ache that bloomed in the pit of his stomach made
him feel sick, but it couldn’t compare to what Ben must be feeling right now.
She thought Ben still hated her and only tolerated her so they could work
together, but Dixie suspected there was more to it than that. He bet Ben still
had feelings for her. Who wouldn’t? The woman was amazing. And if Dixie hurt at
the mere thought of losing her, he didn’t want to know the pain his friend was
going through right now.

It didn’t take long to find Ben. He always went to the same
place when he wanted privacy—the computer server room. There was something
about the hum of the machines. The sound seemed to comfort Ben. When Dixie
found him there, Ben was sitting at the maintenance station, drowning his
sorrows in a bottle of alcohol. “Mind if I join you?” Dixie asked as he sat
down next to him.

“Doesn’t appear as if I can stop you from doing whatever, or
whoever, you fucking want. Might as well grab a chair and be my guest.”

That was harsh but he deserved it. He grabbed the bottle and
put it up to his lips before tipping it back. When the hot rush of alcohol
filled his mouth he savored the burn for a moment before swallowing. He had to
give Ben credit. He knew his booze. “She thinks you hate her.” He handed the
bottle back to Ben so he could take a drink.

“And what? You used that in your favor?” Ben took a deep
drink before handing the bottle back.

“No. Just thought you should know. You might want to clear
the air with her.” He took another drink before giving the bottle back to Ben.
“Unless you do still hate her.”

“I don’t hate her. Haven’t since your late-night talk about
integrity.” He laughed into the bottle as he tipped it back. “And you called me
disrespectful.”

Dixie let Ben take a drink before taking the bottle away. “I
can only imagine the scene you walked in on and I’m trying to do my best to
mend fences here, but don’t question my intentions with her. This isn’t just
some quick fling to forget about the horrors of war.” Okay, so maybe throwing
Ben’s relationship back in his face constituted a low blow. But he wanted to
make sure Ben knew where he stood.

“So I don’t get to be pissed off because I fucked up two
years ago?”

“You can be as pissed off as you want. But you did fuck up.
And I like her. A lot.”

“Well, I like her, too. I thought that if I gave her time to
get to know me again she would forgive me for being such an asshole. Now, can I
have my bottle back or are you going to steal that too?”

“Here.” He handed the bottle back to Ben. “And I didn’t
steal her.”

Ben took a long drink that ended in a wince. “I know. And
that only makes it suck that much more.”

The alcohol combined with the post-sex hormones made Dixie
feel warm and slightly fuzzy. Overall he liked the feeling. “I didn’t mean to
have sex with her, not right then—not like that. But I’m not going to say I
regret it.”

Ben laughed. “I wouldn’t believe you if you said you did.”

“Being around her makes me happy.” He took the bottle from
Ben and took another drink. He was going to have to stop drinking soon. Already
the room blurred around him and objects didn’t track when he moved his head.

“Shit, man. You deserve to be happy.” Ben’s words sounded
slurred.

“So do you.” He meant it too. They’d been through a lot
together. Saved each other’s asses more times than he could count.

“No. I had her and threw her away.” He took another drink.
“I was such a fucking idiot. I brought this on myself. I deserve it.”

“Will we be okay?” It was probably too soon to ask. And they
were both drunk at this point so he couldn’t really trust any answer Ben gave
him. But he had to know. “I don’t want to lose you.”

Ben pulled him into an embrace, his warm breath washing over
Dixie’s neck. “It sucks, but I love you, man. I’m not going anywhere. We’ll
figure out a way to make it work.”

Dixie almost believed him. He turned to thank Ben but before
he could say the words, he felt Ben’s lips on his. A bolt of shock swept
through him and cleared his alcohol-fogged brain. He loved Ben, just not in
that way. And he was fairly certain the alcohol could be blamed for the kiss.
But as he thought through their current problem, it did raise a couple of
interesting solutions he hadn’t thought of before. It wasn’t until he felt
Ben’s hand stroke his upper thigh that Dixie realized he’d let the kiss continue.
Yep. Very interesting indeed.

Chapter Four

 

Ben jumped back and took a startled breath just as his hand
brushed against Dixie’s cock. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did that.”

Dixie just sat back and quirked an eyebrow at Ben. “Really?
You don’t have any idea?”

“No,” he insisted. He hadn’t kissed a guy since that one
disastrous day back in secondary school. Swore he never would again. “I
shouldn’t have drunk so much of the whiskey.”

“So we’re going to blame this on alcohol and move on?”

Why was Dixie pushing him on this? Couldn’t the man see how
uncomfortable the conversation made Ben? “Of course.” He rubbed his head in an
attempt at easing the headache that thumped mercilessly there. “What else could
it be?”

“Before I take anyone into my squad, I do a background check
on them.”

Ben looked up at the man. Really? He understood the military
doing checks, but the Coalition? They should be thankful for any warm body they
could get. Especially when that warm body came with Ben’s skill set. “And?”

“You’re from Ontesys.”

A cold fear filled him as he guessed where the conversation
was headed. “Yes I am.”

“Was your family a duo or tri?”

Lying to Dixie would be pointless. He most likely already
knew the answer. He just wanted Ben to say it. “Tri.” He had two fathers and
one mother. Their religion insisted it be that way. But just because a religion
sanctioned it didn’t mean society as a whole did. The years of social hatred
he’d endured because of his parents’ marital arrangement washed over him and
made him sick. “I wasn’t coming on to you.”

“Are you sure? It felt as if you were.”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Anger and panic danced in the pit of his
stomach as he stared at the bottle in front of him. The last thing he needed
was Dixie thinking he agreed with his parents’ lifestyle. With his luck, that’d
be enough to get him kicked out of the Coalition. Just like it’d been enough to
get him kicked out of the fancy boarding school he’d been enrolled in.

“Oh.” The trace of disappointment in Dixie’s voice brought
Ben’s attention back to the man. “That’s too bad.”

“Yeah. It’s too bad that my kids will never have to go
through the name-calling or the ass-kickings I had to. Damn tragedy.” He
shouldn’t drink any more but he needed something to do with his hands.

“Have you been back to Ontesys since the recession hit?”

He laughed bitterly at the question. “The day I left, I
swore I’d never go back. I don’t break promises.”

“Tri is becoming more socially acceptable. Three incomes
instead of two holds a certain appeal when it keeps food on the table.”

Ben had had enough of the conversation. “Thanks for the pep
talk, sir. But it’s not your job to make me feel better about my childhood or
my parents.”

“You’re right. But I’m not here in an official capacity.”

He took another drink. “Then why the hell are you here? Oh
yeah, you wanted to make sure we’ll be okay now that you’re sleeping with
Lisa.” Jealousy reared its ugly head once more and the need to pick a fight
filled him. “She’s a good fuck, isn’t she? At first I was surprised. She’s such
a quiet, timid thing normally. Get her in a bed, or on a console table, and
that all changes, though.” Dixie took a deep breath and then slowly let it out.
Good, he was getting to Dixie.

“I’m going to ignore that because I know why you said it and
because I have something important to discuss with you. Putting you into a coma
would be counterproductive.”

Ben snorted. “Far be it from me to interfere with your
productiveness.”

“Indeed,” Ben said dryly. “So here’s the thing, you like
Lisa.”

“We’ve already established that.” Ben felt a new stab of
pain at having to admit it to the man who’d won her.

“And I like Lisa.”

“Yep.” He tilted the bottle back to get one last drink.

“And Lisa likes me.” Dixie took the bottle away from him.
“But she still has feelings for you.”

Now this was starting to make sense. “And you’re worried I’m
going to try to sway her over to the tri way of thinking? I’m not stupid. I
have feelings for her, but I do have some sense of self-preservation left.”

“Are you always this dense or only when you’re drinking?”
Dixie rubbed his temple as if he had a headache. “If she chooses between us one
of us will lose.”

“She’s already chosen, Dixie. I’m the loser.”

“Only because she doesn’t know you still have feelings for
her. She thinks you’re comfortable being part of her past. Once she finds out…”

Seeing where this was going, Ben nodded. “You’re concerned
you’ll lose her to me.”

“But more importantly, I’m concerned all the fighting and
hard feelings will cost me a friend and a trusted soldier.”

“I’m guessing you aren’t offering to bow out, then.”

Dixie laughed as he took a drink. “You should know me better
than that. But what if we made it so she didn’t have to choose?”

But the only way for her not to choose would be if they both
bowed out. Unless… The whole conversation shifted in Ben’s head. “Are you
suggesting a tri?” Damn. He was dense when he drank. He’d have to stop. Just
after he’d made it through this encounter.

“About time you caught up with me.”

He felt a tingling in the pit of his stomach but he didn’t
dare embrace it, not yet. “You’d be okay with that?”

“Would I be suggesting it if I weren’t?”

“It’s a complicated arrangement.” He remembered the fights
his dads used to have with his mom—and about his mom. He didn’t want to drag
two unsuspecting people into that. “And what about Lisa? How does she feel
about this?”

“I can imagine it would get complicated, but doesn’t
everything in life?” He paused for a second. “And I’m sure that, if we
presented a united front, we could probably talk Lisa into it.”

It might work. As much as he hated the pain his parents’
life had brought him, he’d have to be blind not to realize how much they meant
to each other. “This would be a real commitment, Dixie. It’s not a fraternity
dare. She’s the mother of my child. I won’t have her treated with anything less
than respect.”

“Says the man who just told me what a great fuck she was?”

“I was angry and trying to pick a fight.”

“I know. Just trying to point out that this is going to take
a level of trust from both of us if it’s going to work. You aren’t the only one
with cause to doubt the sincerity of the relationship.” Dixie’s words were calm
but there was no attempt to disguise their importance as he said them. “I’m
putting a newly found relationship on the line to protect a friendship.”

“I get it.” And Ben did. At this point Dixie had Lisa. And
Lisa wasn’t a fickle woman. She’d stay with Dixie unless something major
happened. Like, for instance, if Dixie called her a government whore. Not that
Dixie would ever be that stupid. Nobody but Ben would ever sink to those levels
of stupidity.

“But if it makes you feel better, I’m not trying to mark one
off my bucket list. We both like her and she likes both of us. In time, it
would tear us apart. Especially being trapped in the bunker like we are. It’s
not as if we can go anywhere for space when it gets rough. Better empires have
fallen over just such a dilemma, my friend.”

“And is that going to be the pitch to Lisa? If we can’t
figure out a way to share her, it could bring about the very end of
civilization as we know it?” He couldn’t resist a smile.

“Oh, I’ve got something much better in mind. Just follow my
lead.” He wobbled as he stood up. “Come on.”

Intrigued, Ben followed Dixie back to the command room.
Unfortunately a small group of people was in the room with Lisa when they got
there.

“There you two are,” she said as she cast a slightly
disapproving look at him and Dixie. “We’ve had a break. I had to call in a
couple of people to see if the charts are correct,” she gestured to the small
group standing around her, “but it looks as if some of the military personnel
are pulling double shifts.”

He momentarily had no idea what she was talking about and,
apparently, neither did Dixie. “This is a break, how?” Dixie asked.

“If they’re running double shifts they’re going to be
exhausted in a couple days and probably too happy to see extra people to ask
questions.”

Seeing her logic, Ben had to admit that it was a good idea.
“How long have they been running the double shifts?”

“We think it just started today.” She pulled up the daily
surveillance chart on her digital reader. They’d been keeping screen captures
of the techs with schedules next to each one. Originally they’d been hoping for
a hole in the schedule, but double shifts might be even better.

Ben scrolled through the document and, sure enough, there
were two sets of techs pulling double shifts. “It looks as if they’re having a
hard time filling the early morning and late-night shifts.”

“Great catch, Lisa. Make a note in the chart. If the trend
continues, we’ll be able to exploit the weakness,” Dixie said. “And speaking of
double shifts, your shift ended about twenty minutes ago.”

“Yeah, but I was waiting for you guys to get back.”

He could hear the question in her tone. “We had some work of
our own we needed to get through.”

“Everything good?” She looked nervously at the two men.

“Actually, there’s been an unexpected development. We were
thinking it’d be a good idea to have you look it over,” Dixie said smoothly.
“Never hurts to get an independent opinion.”

She looked confused but then shrugged. “The sitter is still
scheduled to watch Nate for another hour so I have time to grab breakfast. As
long as you don’t mind me talking with my mouth full, it shouldn’t be a
problem.”

Ben couldn’t help but snicker at her words.

She sniffed as she got close to them. “Have you been
drinking?”

Dixie wrapped an arm around her waist and guided her out of
the command room. He waited for the door to close behind them before saying,
“Maybe just a little.”

“And you, Ben? You’re being awfully quiet.”

“I might have had a little to drink.” That she was letting
them guide her without any real struggle surprised him.

“And did you guys talk things out or just drink?”

“We talked a bit and we drank a bit.” Dixie guided them down
a corridor on their right. It didn’t take Ben long to figure out where he was
leading them. They were on their way to Dixie’s quarters.

“Oh really? It smells like you drank a lot. I can only hope
you talked a lot as well.”

“I think it was the right balance of drinking and talking,”
Ben said with a wink.

They got to Dixie’s quarters and the man put his palm on the
keypad. It whooshed open smoothly. “Wait. This isn’t the mess hall.”

“She’s quick,” Dixie said as he ushered her into the room.

“Always was smart,” Ben agreed.

“What the hell is going on?” Still, she hadn’t freaked out
yet. Ben took that as a good sign.

“Ben and I had a long chat.” Dixie closed the door behind
them. “And it turns out we might have a problem.”

She looked from Dixie to Ben and then back again. “What kind
of problem?”

“First is the delusion you’ve been living under that Ben
hates you. He doesn’t.”

Her gaze snapped back to Ben and then she sighed. “You guys
don’t have to do this.”

“Do what?” Ben asked.

“Lie to me to make me feel better. I’m a big girl.”

“I’m not lying, Lisa. I should’ve said something earlier but
I was giving you time to get to know me again.”

Both men took a step toward her and she took a step back. “I
don’t understand.”

“We didn’t part ways under the best of circumstances last
time.”

“That’s putting it mildly.” She took another step back and,
as if on cue, Ben and Dixie stepped toward her.

“I’m unbelievably sorry about that. And I was wrong. You
weren’t using me to spy on the Coalition.”

This time, when she stepped back, she bumped into a chair.
“I’m glad you realize that now.” She sat down on the arm of the chair. “But I
still don’t see how this is a problem.”

“He’s been giving you time so when he made his move, you’d
be more receptive.” Dixie walked around and sank into the seat. She seemed to
ignore him as her gaze remained locked on Ben.

“I’m sorry. But I don’t know what you expect me to say. I’ve
moved on.”

Ben’s heart stopped at her words.

“That’s what we wanted to talk to you about,” Dixie said.
“You admitted you still had feelings for him. Are you sure you’ve moved on?”
Dixie ran his fingers down her arm in a sweeping motion. Ben saw the peaks of
her nipples bead against her thin t-shirt at the touch.

“I’m sure.” But her voice was soft now and held an uncertain
waver. “Is that why you brought me here? You wanted me to choose between you?”
She looked from Ben to Dixie. “If that’s the case, I’ve already made my
choice.”

“And now we’ve reached the problem.” Dixie intertwined his
fingers with hers and then lifted her hand up to kiss the back of her wrist.

She jerked her hand away from Dixie and turned as she stood
so she faced him. “Do you disagree with my choice?” As she took a step away
from him, though, she collided into Ben’s chest and he had to wrap an arm
around her waist to steady her. The warmth of her body pressed against his made
him break out in a wave of goose bumps.

“No,” Dixie said calmly. “We disagree with you having to
make a choice.” Dixie stood up and then took the three steps that separated
them. “We’re attracted to you and you’re attracted to us. If you did choose
between us, it’d be a lie. It’d sit in the back of your mind and in the backs
of our minds festering until none of us could stand to look at each other.”

“So what do you suggest we do?” She didn’t deny the truth of
Dixie’s words. Ben took that as a good sign.

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