Sharks (4 page)

"Your scholarship."

"Thanks for reminding me. If I take two B's, I will still have a 3.5." Twisting her sweatshirt with one hand, tears filled her eyes. School, grades, success, had always meant so much to her. Grades didn't come easily to her. She had to work hard, but she was a perfectionist.

"Do the math, Lilly. Two B's and if one of those two A's is an A minus it does not make a 3.5 GPA."

"I'll have three A's. You forgot about my online class." Lilly wiped away the falling tears and sat up straighter as if the movement would grant her more courage than she had.

"Point taken," Amanda said.

"I have to call Jacob." Her abrupt statement caught her off-guard.
I have to call Jacob. He'll know what I should do. He'll understand.

"It's past midnight."

"Doesn't matter," Lilly said. "I've made up my mind."
He promised me and we are BFFs forever and forever.

"I'm going to bed then. Wake me up if you need me," Amanda said.

Lilly popped Jacob's name in her cell and listened to it
ring,
sure it would go to voice mail.

"Hello."

"Jacob?" Good Lord but he sounded sleepy and exhausted. She almost hung up but then--she'd already phoned him and he was up.

"Lilly?"

"Yes," she said, wondering now if she might have overstepped their friendship. A shiver of apprehension wiggled down her spine.

"What time is it?" Lilly heard the groan.

"Uh…2:28…"

"God, Lilly, what's wrong?"

"I… It's a long story. Had to hear your voice." She grimaced, knowing she'd frightened him and that was not her intent.

"Who is that?"

"A good friend," Jacob said to someone--a girl. Guilt and maybe a tab bit of jealousy made her tremble.

"Oh, man, I'm sorry. Can we meet?" Lilly asked.

"Sure, but it's a ways."

"I'll catch a plane tomorrow. Don't care what it costs." She blew a fly-away piece of hair from her eyes.

"If you need to see me that bad, I'll pay for it."

"Umm… can't let you do that. I'll call when I know what time the plane will arrive at PDX."

"K."

"And, Jacob…I'm quitting."

~ * ~

"You look awful." Jacob wrapped Lilly in his arms, giving her a gentle hug then wiping the lone tear from her cheek and holding her a little bit away from him as to study her. Her eyes were red and dark circles rimmed her eyes. She had pulled her hair back in a severe bun and the clothes she wore hung from her in a box shape. She appeared as if in hiding. He pulled the band from her hair and fluffed it up to frame her face.

"You would too," Lilly looked down, her hair falling forward to cover her from Jacob's view, "if you cried for two hours." She grabbed for the band but he pushed her hand away.

"That's not like you either." Jacob had never before felt so desperate. Understanding her situation seemed imperative and he wanted that knowledge yesterday not when she felt like telling him. "I want, no I need to see the old Lilly, my Lilly."

Once more he held her at arms length, studying her expression, trying to read her mind. She hadn't told him why. He knew she would but in her own good time. She had to settle in and remember how much she trusted him. With one finger he lifted her chin. A small wave of fear whispered over him and her saddened appearance.

"Listen to me, Kiddo. You are not dropping out of school. Your education means too much to you for that drastic measure." Frustration shimmied through Jacob. He didn't know what else to say to Lilly or how to convince her this was a horrible mistake. For a moment he focused on the baggage circling on the turnstile at PDX. But the blur of movement only made him feel more anxious and inefficient.

"I don't have a choice." Lilly shrugged slender shoulders. The hopelessness of her expression fed on Jacob's nerves.

"There is always a choice. Then you mean to let this demon of yours defeat you. That's not like you, Lilly. You have to fight this. I will do all in my power to make this happen. Do you need money?"

"You don't understand. And No, I don't need money. My scholarship pays for my tuition and my work-study pays for everything else. I saved over the years, you know."

"Try me. I know you and I know I can understand anything you tell me. Sorry to imply you might need money. You don't have to be offended. We are friends, and if you can't come to friends, who can you come to?"

Lilly sat down crossed-legged on the carpet and rested her chin on the knuckles of her hands. "Give me some time. You know I trust you but this is personal--too personal to just blurt everything out. It's--well--it's embarrassing." Lilly put her face in her hands.

"Geez, Lilly, this is me." Jacob ran his fingers through his hair. "Lord, I need some sleep."

"So do I."

"Sleep is underrated and it's going to have to wait. There's your bag." Jacob scooped it up then offered his hand to Lilly and pulled her from the floor. "We are going out for lunch and we are going to have a long conversation--as long a discussion as you need to work this out."

For a split second he saw her smile. It vanished just as quickly. Jacob felt ready to strangle someone. He didn't know who, but every protective instinct catapulted to the frontal lobe of his brain or wherever that caveman reflex was located. The need to shelter and protect overwhelmed him, washing through him with tsunami force. He had never felt this way about anyone. But then he'd never had a sister, and he didn't know what kind of feelings these were.

"I'm going to tell you everything. I promise." She smiled ever so slightly. The sight made his heart skip a beat.

"That's a promise I mean to see you keep."

Outside the air was cold and crisp. They rode the elevators to the parking garage, paid the toll and made their way to his car. Silence surrounded him, but he tried to let her have this time to adjust. Thirty minutes later they arrived at the mall and walked along the peace filled streets.

"Hungry?" Jacob asked. Forgetting and healing were so far away from each other. Whatever this was about he didn't think Lilly would forget this easily. She had been traumatized. School was important to her, more important than anything else in her life. She had planned and saved for these years. If she left college, she would jeopardize all she had worked for.

"A little. Look, I haven't had much to eat and my appetite seems to be nonexistent. But I know I need food--keep my strength up." She rolled her eyes at him, a good sign. As the minutes ticked by he had the feeling she was finally becoming more herself.

"I bet you haven't eaten all day. What 's your pleasure, Chinese, Italian, or good old American." Jacob stepped up his pace in anticipation of a good meal. He hadn't eaten since her phone call.

"Let's try the Italian place. I've always liked the one here. Love their portabella mushroom Panini. Suddenly I feel as if I could eat a horse." Lilly skipped a few steps then settled into the fast pace Jacob set.

"Italian it is." Jacob grabbed Lilly's hand and headed for the restaurant. "I'll buy you as many as you can eat."

The restaurant was nearly empty. The lunch hour had come and gone and it was now too early to be considered dinner. They ordered and ate in silence. Jacob watched the steady drip of rain as it descended from the sky.

His patience was coming to an end. "Lilly…"

She set her fork down and acknowledged silently that she knew it was time. "He's horrid. I have two classes with him. No matter where I go, I can't seem to get away from him."

"He broke your heart or did he hurt you?" Under the table Jacob's hands fisted. He didn't believe Lilly would give up her dreams for a man who broke her heart. She would find a way to overcome the wound. But if someone…he couldn't bring himself to think of physical harm--yet if he had done something.

"I thought he was cute, but he thought he was entitled. He made my heart skip a beat whenever I saw him. I thought he asked me out for the right reasons, but he believed he was God's gift to women."

"He raped you?" Jacob didn't want to jump to that conclusion so fast, but he had to find out the truth or he was going to go certifiably insane. "I'll kill him and stick his head on a pole."

"No. Jacob, that's way too gruesome. If he had, I'd settle for prison time." Lilly spoke so softly, Jacob had to lean forward to hear her. With the single word he felt a weight lift from his shoulders.

"Thank God." He leaned forward and placed both of her hands in his. For some reason, holding hands with Lilly felt right. His heart raced and he didn't understand that emotion. He didn't want things to change. They tried dating once before and it didn't work. But maybe…

"Amanda thinks he is going to try again…" She looked down where there hands were together. When she tried to withdraw from him, he held onto her a bit tighter.