Shattered (12 page)

"I tried calling you all night. How did the photo shoot go?" Miranda asked Monday morning in the office. I had deliberately ignored all phone calls. I wanted to relax in a long, hot bath, with nothing but my music and thoughts of Grayson.

"The photo shoot went well," I replied, trying to remain as evasive as possible.

Miranda followed me into my office, her eyes narrowed. "Something happened, didn't it? Why aren't you telling me?"

"Nothing happened. There's nothing to tell. We met up at The Fremont Troll and had a kick ass time. There were three other people there. I took pictures, and then I went home."

"I'll eventually find out, Dallis. I know you're hiding something," she said as she yanked on my fiery, red hair. I grimaced at the pull, but laughed out loud at her as she sat down opposite me.

"I think Sean is going to propose soon," she stated, with an apprehensive grin on her face.

"Wow! Are you ready for that?" I asked carefully, not wanting to trample on her joy in case she was.

"Hell, yeah! I couldn't think of ever marrying, until I met Sean. It's almost scary."

I laughed. "Tell me about it. But if you're ready, and he's ready, I'm happy for you."

"Thanks!" She beamed me a nauseatingly adorable smile, "Now, to get you to admit your feelings for Mr. Tatted- up, Blue Eyes," she said, laughing softly.

I smiled, but kept my thoughts to myself.

"Seriously, Dallis. What’s the hang up? I know you both have feelings for each other. I see it whenever I'm around you two."

I ran my hand through my hair before sighing. "There are no feelings there. Neither of us has said anything alluding to that."

"Bullshit. That day he came in to sign the contract, I saw the sparks flying."

I couldn't contain the blush spreading over my cheeks. She had
seen
exactly what I'd
felt.
I didn't want to read anything more into it for fear that I had been imagining those feelings and for the fact that I wasn't sure I was even ready to act on them. My nasty break-up with Colby still felt so raw, and I kept telling myself that moving on would do nothing but cause me even more heartache.

"I'm just focusing on me and swamping myself in work. Nothing more, nothing less," I said sheepishly, trying to make myself feel the conviction I so desperately wanted to trail behind it.

"Okay, stay that way, but I'll tell you this. If you keep shitting around, you're going to lose something really good that’s staring you in the face. And he
literally
stares you in the face."

Miranda's words hit like a ton of bricks. They felt so real, yet, my mind wondered if I could actually lose that something really good, since technically I didn't have Grayson. How could I lose something that I didn't have? I asked myself that question over and over again. I'd had enough loss to last a lifetime, and thinking about
losing
Grayson only added to my frustrations.

Chapter 8

Putting Grayson's pictures on the backburner was a difficult thing to do. While I wanted nothing more than to see his beautiful face, I also wanted to keep my feelings for him concealed, and I wasn't doing such a great job of that lately.

I spent the next week working on projects for other clients. Miranda kept asking about the pictures and I kept coming up with excuses as to why they had to wait. She was growing impatient, saying that the remodel needed to take place and that it couldn't be completed without the pictures I had taken. Fully aware of this, I would nod my head whenever she went into her tirade, but continued working on other things.

Three days later, I finally forced myself to get to work on the photos for Ada's. Scrolling through them, I smiled to myself at the light and airy feel of the shoot. Emily, Tommy, and Patrick were all easy going, charismatic people, and it was easily conveyed in the pictures. Scrolling through the shots of Grayson sent my heart beating into overdrive. How could he do this to me without even being in my presence? The hint of sunlight that cracked through the clouds that day hit on his blue eyes, making them sparkle, much to my delight. He looked so subdued, yet enticingly delicious at the same time.

I'd only noticed that I was stuck on the same picture of Grayson when Miranda knocked on my door and broke me from my daydream. She scurried over to my computer screen and slapped my shoulder, laughing wildly when she took a look at the picture that I had been fixated on.

"What the hell, Dallis? Why don't you just tell him you want him already?" she inquired, sitting down in the empty chair next to my desk. "Here's a tissue to wipe the drool from your desk."

I hit her hand away and smirked. "There is no damn drool on my desk."

"I don't get you. You've never been shy about what you want. Why so shy now?"

"I'm not shy," I said, feeling a bit offended. "I'm just not interested in investing myself into anyone right now. Grayson is definitely hot, but that's where it stops for me."

"I don't think that's where it stops for him."

"How do you figure?" I asked, unwillingly eager with my question.

"I just see the way he looks at you. That isn't the look of some guy who sees a pretty girl. There's fire in his eyes. It's like he's willing you to say yes without having to ask you."

I shook my head and stood to grab a bottle of water from my mini fridge. Miranda may have been right, but I was in no way, shape, or form, ready to dive back into that world.

"I have to go over to Ada's and put some paint samples on the wall. Do you want to come with me?" The smile on her face and the gleam in her eyes made me laugh, but I declined.

"I have lots of work to do here. Have fun."

"You're killing me," she said as she walked out of my office.

A few seconds later, I heard the door close, and I was once again left alone with Grayson's beautiful face plastered on my computer screen.

After what felt like hours, Miranda finally came back into the office, with some of the delicious ham and cheese croissants from Ada's that Greg had ordered that disastrous night. I wanted to ask about Grayson, but I didn't want Miranda going back into her
you're-so-in-love
spiel, so I sat quietly at my desk, writing in my journal.

"Hey! You get much work done?" she asked, setting the box of croissants down on my desk.

"Yeah! I'll have Grayson come by tomorrow to look over the proofs."

Her eyebrows rose. "You're having him come here? Hmmm. Don't you normally just send them?" A sly grin spread across her lips.

"Yes, but Grayson asked the day of the shoot if he could come by and look at them so I could explain my concept to him. I reluctantly said yes."

She took a croissant from the box and pursed her lips. "You'd better call him. He sent this note back with me."

I grudgingly took the note from her hands and looked up at her, signaling her to leave my office. She took a big bite out of the croissant she was holding and turned and walked out, leaving me alone with Grayson's note.

I hesitantly opened it, not sure what he had written and if I really wanted to read it. I quickly blinked, shaking off my reservations, and tore into the note.

Dear Dallis,

I am very much looking forward to seeing
you
the pictures.

Until then,

Grayson

Staring at the words on the tiny piece of paper made my heart flutter and my body temperature rise. I stood and turned to walk out of the office, when I saw Miranda peeking in, eyes full of wonder, as if she were waiting on me to fill her in on the contents. There
was no
way I was going to do that; it wasn't any of her business what Grayson had written to me. It would just have to be my little secret.

After a few minutes in the restroom, I called Grayson to let him know that he could come in tomorrow morning to view the pictures. His voice melted my ears and I found myself holding on to the phone just a bit longer than necessary. I was very much looking forward to seeing him again, but I kept telling myself my desires were not in line with what I truly needed in my life, so I worked tirelessly, trying to quell that rising urge to submerge myself in all things Grayson.

I spent a little extra time the next morning curling my hair, which was something that I didn't normally do. The sun had finally come out and I wanted to break free of the ponytail and hoodie look. Throwing on a pair of shorts and a tight fitting t-shirt, I looked myself over in the mirror and winked, proud of what stood before me.

The drive to work was easy going as there was barely a hint of traffic, and since I was able to ride with the top down on my Jeep, I felt especially refreshed as I pulled into my parking spot at our office space. Miranda was showing some plans to a couple of new clients. When I walked into the office, she looked up and winked at me, her face in awe of what she saw, but went back to explaining her plans. I sat down in my office and took out a picture of my parents that I had dug out of my memories box and placed it on my desk next to the computer where I could see them.

A half hour later, Grayson walked through the door, and I heard his sensuous voice long before I saw his glorious face as Miranda greeted him.  Shortly after, they were both standing in the door way leading to my office.

"Come on in, Grayson," I said, standing to greet him.

He nodded and took my hand, shaking it but not letting go in what would be considered an appropriate amount of time. I pulled back and motioned for him to take a seat in the chair next to my desk. As he plopped into the seat, the intoxicating smell of spice left his body and crawled up my nose, sending my thoughts into over drive. Tearing through his shirt and licking every inch of his inked chest quickly breezed through my mind. To alleviate those thoughts, I stood and grabbed two water bottles, but finally noticed that he had two coffee cups in his hands. After acknowledging their presence, he smiled and slid one in front of me.

I took a sip and looked at him in surprise.

"Vanilla spice frap. It’s the same thing you ordered the night you came in with your boyfriend," he said, sneaking a sip of his own drink.

I sipped again and frowned at the mention of Colby. "I don't have a boyfriend."

I thought I saw a gleam in Grayson's eyes at the mention of me being single, but I didn't pay it any attention and clicked on my keyboard to pull up his pictures.

I clicked through quite a few and had been explaining my vision for them, the type of frames Miranda and I had chosen, and where each photo would be placed, when I noticed that Grayson hadn't heard a thing I'd said.

"Did you hear any of that?" I asked, a little annoyed by his daydreams.

"Yeah. I'm sorry. I heard that, I love the idea." He paused for a second and looked at me, then at the picture of my parents, then back to me. "Are those your parents?"

A sudden pang of irritation hit me and I gruffly answered, "Yes. Those are my parents."

He sifted in his seat and then looked back to me and smiled. I didn't understand what had him so infatuated, so my mood quickly turned to annoyance. I got him to focus back on the pictures and we went over the ones he liked and those he didn't think he'd have room for. After going through hundreds of shots, in what felt like minutes, Grayson finally decided on the pictures that would be used to flank the wall space at Ada's. I looked up at the clock on my desk and found that we had been sifting through pictures for over an hour. I didn't want our time to end, but Grayson said he had to get back to Ada's to make sure that he could relieve Patrick, who had meetings to attend.

"When can I expect these?" he asked, looking back at me with admiration in his eyes.

He'd caught me staring at him and had a sly grin on his face.

"It should only be a couple of days. Miranda says she's scheduled your re-model for Monday. I'll have the pictures ready and she can take them with her."

He stepped back closer to my desk before asking, "You won't be coming with her?" in a voice low enough to make my skin tingle.