Shattered Assassin (12 page)

Kazia could only smile back gratefully, fighting and failing to hold back tears.

“It isn’t safe to stay here, but I don’t know how we’ll move out.” Luke was watching Nakomi, who still shuddered. “There’s no way to carry her.”

Kazia’s chin came up as her eyes widened. “I’ll not leave her!”

“No one’s asking you to leave her, Princess.” Luke knelt next to her, brushing a knuckle against her cheek. She blinked at him.

“What about a sled? We can tie it to the horses and pull her… we wouldn’t have to go far. I’ll walk so she can have my horse,” Benjamin said, rising in one fluid motion to his feet and searching for branches big enough to hold her.

“Do you have any idea how much she weighs?” Luke frowned, but when no one came up with a better idea he ordered everyone not injured to help build it. With so many hands it didn’t take long, but Kazia could tell by watching Luke that every minute there made him more nervous. Kazia watched as they attached the sled to the horses. “Now… how exactly are you going to get her on it?” he asked, eying Nakomi dubiously.

She nibbled a thumbnail, seeing no way they could move Nakomi without causing her more pain. Nakomi opened her brown eye to peek at Kazia, heaved herself to her feet, and stumbled to the sled, falling onto it in an ungraceful heap, and then closed her eyes again.

“That’s how.” Luke grinned, relief plain on his face — clearly he hadn’t a clue how they would have moved her, either.

It was slow going. When the clouds opened up and started pouring on them, it was both a blessing and a curse. The downpour hid their tracks, but made them all wet, cold, and miserable. Kazia watched Nakomi, on the sled in front of her.
She’s going to be fine. She won’t leave you, she’s going to be fine.
Of course she would be fine. A few sword wounds weren’t going to bring her big wolf down. But the risk of infection would be high, and Kazia was grateful Nakomi was being such a good patient. They finally stopped near an outcropping of rocks where they could make a semblance of shelter among the big boulders.

“No fire. Kazia, drink this.” Luke was in full-on commander mode, yelling demands as he thrust the cup into Kazia’s hands.

“What is it?” She wrinkled her nose dubiously, peering into the cup.

“It will help you sleep. We can’t afford for you to get sick now.”

She frowned. “I thought you wanted more time,” she said, keeping her voice low.

He looked away, staring out into the rain-soaked forest below them. “That was before.” He walked away, and she scrambled to her feet, grabbing his arm.
No no no I will not beg him to stay. Not again.

“Before what?” She was grateful for the rain that made it hard for anyone else to overhear their conversation.

When he finally looked at her, she was shocked at the pain in his sea green eyes. “I failed you.”

“You… what?” He took her arm and led her away from the others until they were standing at the edge of their makeshift shelter and errant raindrops caught her every so often, sending chills down her spine. At least, she was pretty sure it was the cold raindrops sending chills down her spine. “I can’t protect you, Kazia. I thought I could.”

She dropped her hands on her hips, glaring at him. “I’m alive, aren’t I?”

“Not because of me. Because of your giant wolf and your own skill with a sword.”

“Which you failed to compliment me on, by the way.” She smirked and, even though he resisted, his lips quirked up just a bit.

“It was incredible. Brodi taught you well.”

“He did. Look, Luke, it was a group effort. There were a lot of bandits. No one could have taken them all on by themselves.”

“Kazia, I saw them attack. I saw Nakomi hurt. And there was no way I could get to you. I
should
have already been there.”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re being ridiculous.”

“Kazia, what I said before—”

No. He is not going to send me away again. He’s not going to hurt me again.
She interrupted him. “It doesn’t matter. We both know it wouldn’t have worked, and the kingdom must have a king.”

He watched her for several seconds before nodding slowly. “Yes, exactly. I’m glad we understand each other.”

Her heart was in her throat but she wouldn’t let him see it. Not this time. She nodded and brushed past him, curling up next to Nakomi and watching the fire until she fell asleep. Throughout the day she stirred a few times, half-awake, to see Luke watching her, but by the time she actually got her eyes all the way open he was across the campfire. It was all a dream. A painful, bittersweet dream.

“We should be in Randolf’s kingdom by tomorrow morning if we travel through the night,” Luke announced at dusk as they were cleaning up camp. He rolled a length of rope efficiently around his arm. The rain had, for the most part, abated, and they were hurrying to take advantage of it. Nakomi lumbered over to her sled and plopped down, waiting patiently until they were ready to go. Kazia stayed away from Luke, unsure what to say that wouldn’t betray her broken heart, and he seemed happy to do the same. Still, the awkwardness was like a living, breathing thing in their small shelter, and Kazia was infinitely grateful to escape into the open air, giving Luke a wide, very polite berth. It was a tense ride, after the attack the night before, and no one spoke unless it was an absolute necessity. Kazia murmured to Nakomi every now and then but could think of nothing to say to anyone that wouldn’t make her sound like Luke had broken her heart, yet again. The first time had been a huge enough scandal — everyone in the kingdom knew about it.

“
Kazia, I need to talk to you.”

“You’ve been avoiding me lately, haven’t you?” She tried not to let her voice quiver, but it hurt, talking to him, knowing he really didn’t want to be stuck in the same room with her. Her heart had, at once, leaped in happiness and crushed inward painfully when he’d walked through the door.

“Take a walk with me?” he asked.

She didn’t want to
—
she knew what would happen, but she nodded and followed him out, down the path past the barn toward the practice field and armory. It was where he spent most of his time, but it was empty now. She watched him, out of the corner of her eyes, loving the way his eyes sparkled, and his black hair fell over his forehead. She loved to push his hair out of his eyes with her fingers. The curve of his mouth made her pulse jump, and the way his lips felt when he kissed her…But now he wouldn’t even look at her. Like she had become a disease he knew existed and needed to get rid of, but hadn’t figured out how.

“Kazia, you know we can’t be together forever, don’t you?” He said it abruptly, and she sucked in a breath, like he had punched her.

“We—we can’t?”

“No.”

She tried not to cry, she really did, even though his coldness seemed
to be
crushing her heart under the well-worn heel of his boot. “I don’t understand.”

He finally stopped walking, turning those beautiful eyes on her face, but the love he usually watched her with wasn’t there. She bit her lip, hard, tasting blood. “If I’m with the princess, everyone will think I’m advancing up the ranks of the Royal Guard because I’m receiving preferential treatment. Not because I deserve to be there.”

“You—you don’t want to be with me because of—”
Her voice broke and she couldn’t continue. By now, several other younger members of the
Royal
Guard
—
Luke’s friends, had filtered out of the barracks and were watching them. She scrubbed the tears away with her hand, fighting for control. Luke had always been her protector. He had never been the one to hurt her. Ever. What was she to do now? He watched her, saying nothing. Only a month ago he had adored her, he’d told her he loved her more than anything. That he always would. How could he stop loving her, just like that? How could he forget her so easily? “We can—we can still be friends, right?”

He rubbed the back of his neck, looking over at his friends.
“I think it would be best if we didn’t talk anymore, Kazia.”

She choked on a sob, her fist tight against her mouth, so tight that her teeth broke the skin and she could taste the blood
—
but he walked away. And he never looked back.

It had nearly killed Kazia to get over him. It took everything she had, and now she was right back where she started. He tells her one second he wants her, and the next he pushes her away.
I’m getting married soon. I’m getting married soon.
If she repeated it enough, maybe she would believe that being married to someone else would really make her forget him. She might have been stupid enough to believe that once, but not now. Not after being with him for the past month.

Against her will, she felt her eyes stray to his back yet again, the broad shoulders, his easy gait as he walked between the horses pulling Nakomi’s sled — like everything he did, it came naturally to him. She closed her eyes against the pain, keeping them shut while her horse followed the others. Why? Why did they have to have that conversation last night? Why did he have to tell her he loved her? If they hadn’t — if he hadn’t — everything that threatened to overwhelm her now would have stayed where she buried it all those years ago.

She opened her eyes and watched the moon cross the sky, dreading the morning when she would meet her fiancé for the first time, and also welcoming it. There had been a time that she had wondered what he would be like, if he was handsome, if he would like wolves. But now, she knew it didn’t matter. Nothing would matter if he wasn’t Luke. But that was a good thing, too. He was safe. If she never loved him like she did Luke, he would never be able to hurt her like Luke could.

CHAPTER TEN

_T
HEY LEFT THE FOREST
with a collective sigh of relief. She could see the city walls in the distance, the sun rising behind them. Luke dropped back to ride next to her across the valley. She felt him look over at her several times, but she pretended not to notice. Finally he cleared his throat. “You’ve been very quiet.”

“Have I?” She kept her eyes on the city walls.

“Kazia — what I meant—”

“Luke, stop. We both know what you meant. Just let it go. Please, for the love of all that is holy, just
let it go.
”

He watched her for several more seconds, but she used her blond hair like a curtain, dipping her head so it fell forward, blocking him out. When she didn’t look at him, he left, jogging lightly to catch up to the front horses pulling Nakomi’s sled.

The walls in front of them loomed larger and larger, blocking out the rising sun so that only the rays could be seen shining behind the palace. It wasn’t as large as Kazia’s home — Randolf’s kingdom had been in several wars over the last two decades, and much of their money was spent on their military. Which was why they were so eager to join with Kazia’s kingdom. The strength and wealth of her kingdom with the force of Randolf’s military made them a formidable pair.

Even though the castle wasn’t as big as Kazia’s, the walls surrounding it were impenetrable. Huge gray stones shot high into the sky, and Kazia could just see the slots at the top for archers. It was a far cry from the quaint but mostly useless walls around her city. She bit her lip, suddenly afraid. What if Randolf was a war-monger?

“The gate is up. How will we get in?” One of her guards, one whose name she still didn’t know, paused, his hand on the horse he walked beside, to address Luke.

Luke straightened, peering ahead. “I assume there will be sentries. Randolf is expecting her — they’ll let us in.”

Shivers raced up her spine. He was expecting her, his future bride. Her mouth went dry and suddenly she found it very hard to swallow.

“Princess? Are you well?” Crystali asked quietly.

Nakomi raised her big head, blinking at her, and Kazia fought to control the overwhelming terror she had been unprepared for. “Yes, I’m fine. Thank you.” She sent what she hoped was a confident smile toward Crystali.

“Who goes there?” a voice bellowed from the darkness of the wall.

“The Princess Kazia of Sylvana and her Royal Guard,” Luke called, and he didn’t sound the least bit distressed. After what he said the night before, shouldn’t he care a little now? She glared at his back.

“What is that you’ve got with you?” the voice yelled back, and she could practically feel the arrows trained on Nakomi.

She resisted the urge to throw herself over her wolf. “It is my pet, Nakomi the wolf,” she called.

“Wolf?” The voice sounded at once frightened and dubious.

“Yes.”

“We must confer with our king. Please wait.”

Luke strode furiously toward the wall. “You will keep the Princess Kazia waiting in the rain and unprotected?”

“Captain, it’s fine,” she hissed, but he ignored her.

“I’m sorry, your highness, but we have been ordered not to let anyone — or anything, inside the city walls. It’s for your safety, Princess.”

“Her safety? How is it keeping her safe when she is
outside
your city walls?”

Kazia sat back on her horse, raising an eyebrow. “I believe that’s your job, Captain.”

Luke’s tirade died abruptly as he looked at her, his chin dropping.

She gave him her most innocent smile.