Shattered Assassin (10 page)

It took her several minutes to notice, and then she looked quickly at Benjamin. “Why is the household staff all dressed in black?”

“Are they? I didn’t realize.” Benjamin looked away, his cheeks coloring.

“You are a terrible liar.” Kazia poked him in the arm, and then more seriously, “Benjamin. What happened?”

He rubbed the back of his neck, looking at the sky and the ground and anywhere but at her. “The captain told us we aren’t to upset you.”

“Benjamin…” Her voice held more of a warning than she thought possible, and he sighed, finally looking down at her.

“Lady Kristina…” He trailed off.

“What about her?” Kazia’s feigned horror as she realized what he was trying to say. “She’s—she’s dead?” she whispered. The assassin in her sighed in relief. Finally, someone had found the witch. Even the proper princess in her couldn’t bring herself to care much, although she did well trying to pretend otherwise.

“Yes. She threw herself from her window.”

“When?”

“We don’t know. It took some time after the storm. She — she landed in the bushes and no one saw her. Then the birds started gathering…” He trailed off again, his face pale.

“Why? Why would she do that?”

“No one knows.”

“Did someone send word to Lord Jeffery?”
How do you feel, Uncle, when someone you love is taken from you?

“Just yesterday. Princess, you’re very pale. We should get you back inside.” He took her elbow and led her back to the manor.

She didn’t object; her knees were shaking and she kept seeing spots, although it had nothing to do with Kristina’s death and everything to do with her obnoxious disease. “What’s happened?” Crystali exclaimed as they reached her room, dragging Kazia inside and steering her to her bed. She collapsed, grateful, trying very hard not to lose consciousness.

“She found out about Lady Kristina.” She heard Benjamin in the hall.

“You had direct orders not to say a word!” Luke’s voice, and he sounded furious. He was staying away from her, which she appreciated, although if he kept yelling at his men for things beyond their control, she would have to hunt him down and slap him.

“She’s a smart girl, sir. She figured it out.”

Luke swore, but all Kazia could do was lie back on her pillows.

She dozed for the rest of the day, in an out until after dark, when she finally woke up enough to follow the conversation in the hall. The double doors were open, she assumed so the guards could watch her and the hallway. She couldn’t muster enough energy to be embarrassed. “It isn’t safe for her here.” Luke’s voice.

“We’re kind of running out of safe options, sir.” Benjamin, this time. They did realize she’d awake eventually, didn’t they?

“But without her memory of that night, we have no way of catching the assassin so it’s safe for her to return home,” Heath said, his voice low. The candlelight flickered, already burned low, and she wondered how late it was. Crystali was nowhere to be seen, so she must have gone to bed already. “I honestly thought Kristina and Jeffery were behind the attacks. I only agreed we should come here so I could investigate and protect Kazia at the same time. This threw my theory right out the window.”

“Kristina’s death doesn’t appear to have anything to do with the assassin. And we haven’t let Princess Kazia out of our sight. She’s safe enough here,” Benjamin said, but even he didn’t sound convinced.

“Nowhere is safe enough.”

Kazia peeked across the room, squinting in the dim light, catching her breath at the intensity in Luke’s green eyes as he watched her from across the room. Not wanting to face him and the pain he brought, she rolled over and squeezed her eyes shut tight until sleep caught her again and she escaped him.

She woke again who knew how much later, Crystali shaking her shoulder gently. “Princess, a missive for you.” It took several tries to keep her eyes open. Finally, she gave up and peered helplessly at Crystali, who helped her sit up enough to read. “Do you feel up to eating, Princess?” She nodded as she wordlessly took the note.

My dearest
Kazia,

I’m so sorry for your loss and this trying time you’re in. I worry for your safety and ask that you come to
Abeta
where the strength of my guards can protect you while we look into this matter. I also ask that you consider moving the date of our wedding up, so that our kingdoms will be aligned posthaste.

Sincerely yours,
Randolf.

“Who was it from?” Luke stood next to her, arriving on silent feet. She bit her lip and handed him the note. His eyes scanned it, his face darkening with the passing seconds. “You aren’t well enough to travel,” he finally said, tossing the note on the bed.

“Abeta is where Jeffery and Braydton are.”

“They’re probably on their way back by now.” Luke wouldn’t look at her, which was fine; she closed her eyes so she didn’t have to look at him either. “Kazia, if something were to happen to you, who would the kingdom go to?”

She opened her eyes. Oh, so now he looked at her? And frowning while he did. “Why do you ask?” She twisted her hand in the blanket, trying to make her tired mind work. When he didn’t answer, she said, “Randolf. Due to our betrothal, Randolf would inherit the kingdom if something were to happen to me.”

“Randolf becomes king the day he marries you… Only by having your parents killed…” Luke’s eyes narrowed but Kazia held up her hand.

“No, no, that isn’t possible.”

“But you should consider it—”

“He’s not the assassin,
Captain
,” She snapped, tired of him interrupting her. She forced herself to her feet, grimacing as pain shot down both her legs. “I’m saying,” she growled between stretches, “that he’s right and we should go to him.”

“Kazia, that’s ridiculous. He could be the assassin, luring you right into a trap,” Luke exploded.

Kazia turned slowly, glaring at him. “If he is the assassin, Luke, how did he poison the soup
here
? Why would he try to kill me before we’re wed?”

Luke opened and shut his mouth but had no response. “Crystali? Gather my things and have them ready the horses.”

“Princess, you’ve been bedridden for nearly a week. I don’t think—” Crystali spoke rapidly, glancing from Luke to Kazia and back again.

Kazia closed her eyes, holding up a hand. “I’m sorry, Crystali, but I didn’t ask for your opinion. Either you can help me or I’ll do it myself.” Turning to the big wolf, who was the only one in the room not glaring at her, she patted her thigh. “Nakomi, come.”

She instructed the kitchens to prepare a meal and food for their travels. It was a much shorter ride to Abeta than the ride here, but more dangerous — this side of the forest was notorious for bandits. She secretly hoped Luke’s guards would accompany her, but she was prepared to go alone if they wouldn’t. Nakomi was big. Only a fool would attack with her nearby.

By nightfall, she was ready. As she was checking the belts on her horse, Luke stormed out. “You’re a little fool, Kazia. I should let you go alone.”

She didn’t look up, pretending his words didn’t sting. “Then do it, Captain. It makes no difference to me.”

He didn’t move, and from where she was bent she had a good view of his scuffed boots. “Why are you in such a hurry to get to him? You can’t believe he will protect you any better than we can.”

She heaved a sigh, standing up so she could glare at him better. “It isn’t safe here. It isn’t safe at home. It isn’t safe there. Nowhere is safe, Captain. I might as well be
there
where I can move on with my life. Rather than here where we do nothing but twiddle our thumbs.”

“We’re waiting for you to get better.”

“I’m not going to get better, Luke, we both know that.” She looked away, not wanting to see the pity in his eyes. And inwardly cursed herself for calling him Luke. Captain. He was
Captain
to her, nothing more.

“That isn’t true. This will pass. It always has before.”

“Yes, and leaves me weaker.” She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. It’s time to move on. I can’t keep hiding from this assassin, sharing a manor with a dead woman’s ghost.” Luke’s head jerked sharply as the question formed on his lips but she shook her head. “A figure of speech, Captain. That’s all.”

Luke sighed, running his hands over his face. “You have turned my men against me. They all swore to resign their posts and accompany you if I did not give them permission.”

She hid a smile. “I’m very sorry, Captain.”

In the end, they all accompanied her. They moved more slowly, watching for threats. Luke stayed by her side but didn’t speak to her. The rest of her guards bantered quietly back and forth, occasionally including her in their teasing, but for the most part she was alone with her thoughts. It was a relief to leave the manor. She hadn’t realized how oppressive it was until they left it.

The wind whipped her hair so she felt like she was riding in her own personal black cloud most of the time. Luckily, her horse didn’t require her to tell it where to go — it just followed the others, which was handy because she couldn’t have seen to lead it anyway.

“The wind has picked up,” Luke noted needlessly.

“Really? I hadn’t noticed,” she muttered under her breath.

“The cold season is coming quickly. I wonder if we’ll be back to the castle by the time the snow comes.” Heath had to raise his voice quite a bit to be heard over the bluster. Kazia shared that thought. She missed home, although going back there meant facing the memories instead of running from them.

The first rays of the morning sun were shimmering over the horizon when Luke finally signaled them to stop. “The wind is wearing the horses down. Let’s make camp here. We’ll start again in the afternoon.”

As she slid, gratefully, off her horse, she realized how much these men had had to adjust to fit her life. All of them slept during the day now and were awake at night with her. She was equal parts relieved not to be alone and guilty of messing up their lives so much.

She avoided Luke as much as possible, since they could not, apparently, have a civil conversation any longer. “Do we have to worry about bandits attacking during the day?” she asked Benjamin, who sat next to her, his long legs stretched toward the fire.

“No. If they were stupid enough to attack the royal guard and a giant, mythical beast, they would do it at night. Besides, we’ll have someone watching all day long. Don’t worry, little princess.” He grinned. Since he didn’t seem worried, she decided she was okay with that and curled up in her sleeping roll to sleep through the daylight hours.

It was nearly dusk when she woke to the smell of food, and her stomach immediately growled. “Hungry?” Luke asked, watching her from over the fire. He dropped his gaze when she looked up at him.

“Yes. Where is everyone?”

“Benjamin and Heath are hunting. They’re my best archers. The rest are scouting ahead and behind.”

“Crystali? Nakomi?”

“She took your wolf for a walk. We wanted you to get as much rest as possible.” All this was said without making eye contact. She stretched, trying to work some of the stiffness out of her muscles, even though she knew very well it wasn’t going away. She was folding up her bedroll, kneeling in the dirt and wondering if she would ever get her dress clean, when he stopped next to her, handing her a bowl of something warm and delicious. “Thank you,” she said, delicately avoiding any contact with his fingers, and tried to eat it without scarfing it down like a wolf. To say she was starving would be a massive understatement.

“It will be dark soon. We’ll be ready to go as soon as the others come back.” His voice was as stiff as his posture.

“How long have they been gone?” Hers, too.

“The scouts, a few hours. The hunters, too. Crystali and Nakomi have been gone since just before you woke.” They sat in awkward silence until Nakomi bounded through the forest, shaking the trees as she went by. Crystali followed at a distance, and Kazia wanted to leap for joy at the sight of someone besides Luke to ease the tension. They saddled the horses and were just setting off when Benjamin and Heath came back. Kazia didn’t look at what they were carrying. She didn’t like to kill innocent things. It made her stomach and her heart hurt.

“Let’s move. The scouts are ahead of us now,” Luke said. Kazia wondered how he knew, but she wasn’t going to ask him. She was still furious and more than a little hurt. The horse swayed back and forth like a rocking chair, lulling her into a peaceful half-awareness, which was wonderful except that her brain was running much faster than her horse, and having Luke so near might just be driving her batty. She wanted to hit him with something big. Maybe a tree branch. Or the whole tree. At the same time, she couldn’t stand the thought of him hurt.
Stupid, confused heart.

She had been willing to give up everything for him — and he wouldn’t even risk his career. Being captain was the most important thing in his family, and it always would be. She just needed to keep repeating that over and over in her head —
remember your place in his priorities
—
it’s near the bottom.
The only problem was that she had a million questions she wanted to ask — the most important being,
did you ever love me? Or was I just fun to pass the time with?
But asking him that would mean he would answer her, and she was pretty sure the answer would hurt.

Oh, but she had loved him. She had always loved him. The biggest problem was that she had never stopped loving him, even when she had made her life in the corner of the castle as far away from him as possible. In the last three years, since he’d told her to leave, she’d only seen him a handful of times, and spoken to him rarely. And she’d been okay with that. It hadn’t hurt, much, to pretend to be merely acquaintances. To pretend to herself that they were what he thought them to be.

“Princess Kazia.” Someone nudged her and her eyes snapped open.

“What!” she gasped.

“You were falling off your horse. Do you need to stop?” Benjamin asked. Heath rode on her other side, one arm out like he could catch her single handedly if she fell.