Shattered Dreams (27 page)

Brent watched her walk across the floor. So did everyone else in the room.

This is what Elly meant. These were the ugly stares she’d endured her whole life – at least from the more polite members of Society. The not-so-polite ones turned their heads or lowered their gazes so they wouldn’t have to look at her.

He clenched his hands into tight fists. He wanted to shout at each of them. He wanted to chastise them for their crude ignorance. He wanted to tell them what a remarkable person Elly was – which they’d know if they got to know her. But no one did. No one had ventured near enough to discover her intelligence and courage and remarkable personality. Instead, they avoided her as if she had the plague.

He spun away from the still-gaping crowd and found the Duchess of Sheridan still standing beside him.

“I beg your pardon, Your Grace. I was distracted.”

“I see that.”

The duchess gathered the white, lace handkerchief Elly forgot on the chair and tucked it into a pocket in her skirt. “This is what Elly had to endure when she was a young girl. Her father and I have always been able to see her as the extraordinary person she is. Unfortunately, very few of Society can get past her injury.

“If we had known she was going to receive such an impolite reception all those years ago, we wouldn’t have demanded she come for a Season. We didn’t make that same mistake this time. We gave her the option of staying in the country, but she chose to come. She said celebrating with her brothers was too important.”

Brent turned his attention to the duchess. There was a point to what she was revealing but he wasn’t sure he knew what it was just yet.

“I learned something important about myself the last time Elly came to London. I think it’s a reaction only a mother can have...”

She stopped and narrowed her gaze.

“...or perhaps someone deeply in love. It’s a protective instinct that demands we do everything in our power to safeguard those we love. For a moment, I thought I recognized that same intense protectiveness when you watched the crowd’s reaction to Elly.”

“If you did?” Brent asked.

The Duchess of Sheridan breathed a deep breath. “If you are pursuing Elly to ease your conscience, then heed my warning. I won’t rest until I make sure Elly is safe from any harm you might inflict on her.”

“If I’m not?”

She paused as if uncertain whether or not to continue. “If you truly love her—”

She turned her gaze to where the Duke of Sheridan escorted Elly from the ballroom.

“If you have serious intentions toward Elly, you will call on my husband tomorrow at your earliest convenience. If, however, you aren’t serious about my daughter, you would be very wise to stay as far away from my family as possible.”

Brent gave Her Grace his most elegant bow. “Your meaning is quite clear.”

The Duchess of Sheridan nodded, then turned away from him.

Brent responded before she took her first step. “Tell His Grace he can expect me at his earliest convenience.”

The duchess halted, then continued across the ballroom floor.

Chapter 27

The two-week round of balls was finally at an end. Tonight was Harrison’s engagement ball, the last of the four events to announce her brothers’ engagements. Then she could return to The Down with her memories.

Elly watched the couples swirl around the dance floor and remembered the magical time she’d spent in Brent’s arms. For a few exquisite moments he’d allowed her to feel whole, complete. With his arms supporting her she could pretend she was the same as any other female dancing in the arms of a handsome man. The same as she’d felt when he’d held her and taught her to play croquet. When she was in his arms, she didn’t feel different from any other woman.

If only she’d never discovered the reason he’d made such an effort to give her two perfect weeks. If only he hadn’t destroyed the memories he’d given her.

The four walls of the ballroom closed in around her and she rose from where she’d been since the ball to announce Harrison’s engagement to Cassie started. Thankfully, after tonight she could go home where she wouldn’t be an oddity and no one would stare at her wherever she went. After tonight she could begin her plans to expand the stable area as she and Harrison had wanted to do for some time. Somehow she’d find a way to put her heart into it.

She made her way to the nearest exit and walked down the hallway to her father’s study. She needed to be by herself. Her family had redoubled their efforts to include her in Harrison and Cassie’s celebration. Her mother, father, or one of her sisters or brothers had stopped by at regular intervals all evening. They brought her something to eat or drink as an excuse to check on her, or just stopped to share a bit of gossip they’d heard while mingling. Even Aunt Gussie and Aunt Esther made a point to spend time with her. The pretense of convincing her family she was enjoying herself was exhausting. Even humiliating. Above all, depressing. Their attention made her feel like an emotional invalid as well as a physical one.

She opened the door and stepped into her father’s study. Somehow, she’d survived George’s betrothal ball, and Jules’s, and Spencer’s. She’d survive Harrison’s, too. Then, she could go home, which should make her happy.

But going home meant she’d never see Brent again. She suddenly realized she’d miss him. He’d been to every engagement ball. He’d spent the majority of every evening trying to ease his way back into her life, trying to make her laugh. Trying to convince her he wasn’t embarrassed being with her, that they made the perfect couple. She had to admit she enjoyed his humor and even looked forward to the way he teasingly tried to make her believe he loved her.

She smiled as she remembered his humorous remarks from last night. She only had to withstand his attempt to win her over this one last night.

She walked to the fireplace and stared into the brightly burning flames in the grate. Last week at the Marquess of Crestonridge’s ball she’d almost given in. His jovial personality and teasing banter were wearing her down. For a moment she’d forgotten how uncomfortable it would be to spend months every year enduring Society’s critical comments and cruel remarks.

“They told me I’d find you in here.”

Elly stiffened. She usually sensed his presence, but she’d been so lost in thought he’d surprised her. She readied her emotions for the jolt of seeing him, then turned around.

She thought she was prepared, but she wasn’t. Her heart did a somersault.

He was as magnificently handsome as ever, and the expression in his eyes when he looked at her caused every nerve in her body to tingle. But tonight there was something serious in his expression. A look she’d only seen once before, and that had been when Waverley held her at the top of the stairs.

She swallowed hard.

It was the same look he’d had when he thought he might lose her.

“Your brother tells me you’re leaving London in a few days.”

“Yes. I’m going to The Down. I like it much better in the country.”

“So do I. In fact, my staff is packing right now.”

Elly couldn’t hide her surprise. “You can’t.”

“Really?” He arched his brows. “Why ever not? I enjoy the country better than London, too. There are no matchmaking mamas there to try to trap me into relieving them of their daughter.”

Elly smiled.

“My horses are there.”

The smile stayed on her face.

“And no one is there to watch me nurse my broken heart.”

Her smile died.

He crossed the room as if he weren’t in any hurry and came to a halt at the other end of the fireplace. He propped one elbow on the mantel and faced her. “I came in search of you because there’s something I need to tell you.”

“Brent, plea—”

“Hear me out, Elly, and please, just this once, let me have my say.”

Her stomach churned with unrelenting nervousness and she gripped the handle of her cane tighter.

“For the past several weeks, I’ve tried to cajole you into forgiving me. I thought if I used the charm I’d perfected since I was a green lad, I could make you forget how much I’d hurt you and how angry you were with me. But I was wrong.” He slid one of the miniatures on the mantel from one spot to another, “You’ve left me no choice but to bare my soul.”

He dropped his hands to his side and faced her. “I love you Elly. I’ll never love anyone but you. I always dreamed I’d find the perfect woman – a woman to love, to have children with, and grow old with. But that was in my dreams. I never expected to find her in real life.”

He pushed back his open jacket and eased his hands in his pockets. “Then I met you.” He smiled a hollow grin. “It was as if you walked out of my dreams and appeared before me in real life.

“Oh, there was that silly agreement I made with your brother, but I didn’t once consider you’d take exception to it. There wasn’t a reason for you to find out what I’d agreed to, and if you did, I assumed you’d love me so much you’d brush it aside the same as I had.” He paused. “But you didn’t.”

Elly took his moment of silence to gain control of her emotions. She couldn’t do this. Refusing him was so much easier when he teased her and tried to make her see the humor in what had happened. Hearing him seriously admit he loved her and was afraid he’d lose her tore her heart in two.

“I’ve done everything I know to do to convince you that I love you. That I want to spend my life with you. That I want you to be the mother of my children. There’s nothing more I can say or do.” He laughed. “I certainly can’t force you to marry me. So, I have decided there is only one option left me.”

A stabbing of fear raced through her.

Brent paced the floor from the fireplace to her father’s massive oak desk, then back again. “This is your brother’s night. I will stay until his engagement is announced. Then, before I leave, I will ask you one final time to marry me. Whatever your answer, I will accept it.”

Elly wanted to say something. She opened her mouth but couldn’t find the words. Even if she found them, they wouldn’t have done any good. Brent held out his hand to stop her from speaking.

“Please, don’t give me your answer yet. I want to enjoy the evening with you. I want to walk with you through the crowded room and show you and everyone here how proud I am to have you at my side. I want to keep you close to me all night long so if this is the—”

He paused. “Well,” he said, “I just want to have this one night with you.”

Tears filled her eyes. When she blinked away the wetness, she realized with clarity the
real
reason she rejected him. It wasn’t because of the agreement he’d made with Harrison. Oh, it had hurt when she’d first discovered what they’d done, but eventually the pain wore off enough to admit that Harrison had formed his plan to save her from being hurt. And Brent had agreed to play his part because of the prize at the end. After all, he’d never met her. He had no idea they were going to fall in love.

Her breath caught in her throat. Yes, Brent loved her. Somewhere deep inside her she’d known it for a long, long time. Perhaps since the first day she challenged him to race. If not then, soon after.

She
was the problem.
She
was the one who was afraid to let herself accept his love.
She
was the one who couldn’t trust that anyone could love her because of her limp.
She
was the one who was at fault but she couldn’t change what she knew would happen if she accepted his marriage proposal. As his wife, she’d be expected to attend functions like this and she’d be an embarrassment to him. Because of her, people would wonder why the magnificently perfect Earl of Charfield chose such a flawed wife. And eventually he’d hate her because of her imperfection.

Elly looked up at him as the first tear spilled over her lashes.

He stepped up to her and brushed the tears from her cheeks. “Don’t cry, sweetheart. I know I haven’t given you much to love.” He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. “I’m sorry.”

He took her in his arms and held her.

She didn’t have the courage to step away from him. She wrapped her arms around him and for the first time, wondered if she could be brave enough to face her life with him. Wondered if she could overcome her fears and doubts and find the joy and happiness she knew she’d find as his wife. Wondered if—

But if she couldn’t and this was their last night together, she wanted it to be a night she would always remember.

“Will you give me this one night, Elly?”

A myriad of doubts and fears raced through her. She wasn’t sure she was brave enough to expose herself to the crowd of onlookers. And yet...to be held in his arms this one night. To have this one last gathering of memories to cherish forever. To know that for one perfect night she’d been loved.

She hesitated.

Just this one night.

Then held out her hand for him to take.

The broad smile on Brent’s face was blinding.

He reached for her and tucked her close. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

Together, they walked across the room. His gait matched hers perfectly, as if they were two halves of a whole, as if he was the support she needed to be perfect.

He wrapped his arm around her waist to be her anchor and kept her close to him.

The din of conversation grew louder as they reached the entrance to the ballroom. Her heart beat faster, blood thundered in her head. They would see her now. The crowd of onlookers would watch her enter the room on the arm of the Earl of Charfield. Everyone would focus on them as they walked toward them and—

She looked upward and met Brent’s gaze. She wasn’t sure what she expected to see, but the overflowing love and adoration she saw stole her breath.

“Smile, sweetheart. I want everyone here to know how perfect we are for each other.”

She gave him a smile she prayed indicated the depth of her love.

His smile broadened and he lifted her hand to his mouth. “Come, my love. I want the world to know you’re mine.”

Elly searched for an emotion to describe how she felt and the only word that came to mind was...perfect. For the first time in her adult life, she felt perfect. And Brent was the reason.

Because of his love and support, she was whole again.

She was loved.

___

The atmosphere in the ballroom was the same as every other social function but tonight was like nothing he’d ever experienced before. Tonight Elly was at his side.

Brent smiled at everyone they met and wanted to laugh out loud at the confused expressions on their faces. Elly had been right. She told him no one would believe he could love her and he could see they didn’t. How blind they were. He could tell they didn’t see Elly’s strengths. They didn’t realize how deserving she was of his love and how undeserving he was of hers.

He wanted to stand on the dais the Duke of Sheridan had erected to make the announcement of Harrison’s engagement and shout to the world that he’d finally found the woman of his dreams. That he’d finally discovered the woman with whom he wanted to spend the rest of his life. But most of all, he wanted to tell everyone how much he loved her.

He looked at Elly as they made their way around the room. Her family was the first to make their way to her side to greet her. Brent could see by the excitement in their gazes they were overjoyed that Elly was part of the gathering instead of sitting in the shadows against the wall.

“You look beautiful,” Cassie said, giving Elly a gentle hug. “So beautiful, in fact, that Lord Charfield pales in comparison.”

Brent laughed. “Your assessment is perfect, my lady. Lady Elyssa far outshines me.”

Brent gathered Elly closer. This was where she belonged – on his arm, at his side. As his wife.

They visited with her family a little longer, then made their way through the crowd. He knew the stares and whispers made her nervous. Her grip on his arm tightened each time someone new came up to them. When they reached the open doors that led outside, he stepped with her onto the cool terrace.

“Are you getting tired?” he asked when they were alone.