Shattered Emotions (16 page)

“We don’t have to be whole apart,” she agreed. “That’s what being a mate is for—to find those missing pieces.”

He framed her face and looked down on her. “I want you, Ellie.”

Her breath stuttered, and she nodded. “I want you too, but… I don’t…I’ve never been with anyone other than when it wasn’t my choice.” She blushed and turned away, but he didn’t let her.

Maddox held back a growl, determined not to scare her. He would kill any man who had touched her in her past and make them pay. Ellie was his to cherish, and anyone who had wronged her had forfeited their life.

He didn’t know all that had happened to her, but he knew it had been bad. She wasn’t ready to tell him, and he was okay with that. She’d tell him, eventually, and they’d heal together. He might not be able to use his magic to help her, but he could use his words, his actions.

“I’ll show you what it means to make love, Ellie Reyes. I’ll show you what it means to be with someone, to feel their every movement, their heartbeat, their life. I’ve never mated with anyone before. This will be a first for both of us, okay?”

She blinked but didn’t say anything.

“It’s just you and me, nothing from our past or present to harm us,” he stressed.

She nodded. “I trust you, Maddox.”

He sighed in relief at her words. “And I’ll do everything in my power to earn that trust.”

“You already have.”

He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “Not yet, Ellie mine, but soon.”

She let out a shaky breath and tried to smile. “So…”

He chuckled. “So indeed.” Hell, he needed to just say it and get them past this wall they’d built up in order to protect themselves. “We’re safe here, in this cabin, as much as we can be. I know we want to take it slow, and I think we are. Gods, woman, I want you so much I can barely breathe.”

Her eyes darkened, and she smiled. “I want you too, though I think we’ve already covered this.”

He laughed. “In a minute, I’m going to take you to the bedroom and show you exactly what it means to be touched by someone who cares for you in every way possible, but I need to warn you that I’m not going to mate you. Not fully.”

She jerked back as if he’d slapped her and scrambled off the couch. “What?”

He cursed himself and stood, reaching out to her. “No, that’s not what I meant. We’re going to mate, Ellie, but I don’t want to mark you, not yet.” He pressed his finger to her lips so she wouldn’t argue. “That will come, I promise. Our wolves will mate when we mark each other, but not yet. I want to ease us into this so my powers don’t overwhelm you. I don’t want to hurt you, so we’re going to do as we talked about and take it slow.”

“And I have no say in this?” She narrowed her eyes, and he ran his hands down her arms.

“I don’t want to hurt you or your wolf, so we
have
to take it slow, Ellie. Please.”

At the word please, her face softened. “If that’s what you think you need to feel better about all of this, fine, but I don’t think it will be an issue. You wouldn’t have a mate in me to begin with if I couldn’t handle it.”

He nodded, not really believing her words. He was already risking her future,
their
future, by giving into temptation and heeding his wolf’s desires. He couldn’t let her suffer for him. Fate had been cruel enough to him and his family, and he didn’t know what lay in store for them.

Maddox framed her face with his hands before lowering his lips to hers. “You are so beautiful, Ellie mine. I knew it the first time I saw you in the back of the SUV when Reed brought you back to our den. I might have acted like I didn’t, but it was because my wolf wanted to attack anything that could have hurt you. I’m never going to let that happen again—me running and you getting hurt. I’m here, Ellie mine. I’m yours.”

She stretched up on her toes and kissed him softly, her tongue hesitantly darting out to reach his. Though he desperately wanted to shred her clothing from her body and take her where they stood, marking her as his and showing her what it meant to be with someone who wasn’t cruel, he knew he needed to take it slow.

He pulled back, leaving them both panting. “Sweet Ellie, sweet, sweet Ellie.” She blushed under that caramel skin of hers, and he led her to one of the cabin’s bedrooms. They’d been sleeping separately and in shifts, but tonight, they’d be in one bed.

Maddox could practically taste the nervousness coming from her, and if he were honest, he was just as nervous. He wanted to make it good for her, yet he didn’t want to scare her and go too fast, too hard.

“Tell me what to do,” she whispered.

“Just be yourself, Ellie. That’s all I’ll ever ask of you. Well, that and tell me if something feels good, okay?” He quirked his mouth in a smile to ease her, and she gave a small laugh.

“Kissing felt pretty good,” she said quickly as if she were embarrassed to have said it.

He lifted her chin and looked into her eyes. “Good, because there’s more of that to come. We’re going to go slow, Ellie mine. Slow and sweet. If I do anything that scares you, let me know.”

She nodded. “Are…are you sure you can go slow?” Her eyes darted to below his waist, and he held back a chuckle.

He knew she saw his jeans strain at the hold his dick on him, but there was no way he’d go fast and hard—not this time.

“Don’t you worry about him,” he joked.

“He looks like he needs to be let out.” Her eyes widened at her words, and he threw his head back and laughed.

“Well, I’m sure that’ll happen soon.”

“What I meant before was that I know we’re wolves and that mates like to go…you know…hard. So if that’s what we need to do the first time, we can.”

Oh, his sweet Ellie. Gods, she hurt him just be revealing hints of what she’d gone through. His brave Ellie.

He ran his hands down her bare arms again before gripping her hips, and then he pulled her to him, her soft body flush against his hard one. His jean-clad erection brushed her belly, and her breath quickened.

“We’ll go fast and hard next time. I promise you’ll like it.” Gods, he knew he would. “This time though is going to be different.”

“Can we stop talking about it now?”

He chuckled and nodded. “Anything you say, Ellie mine.”

Chapter 13

Maddox brought his lips to hers, this time deepening the kiss right away, letting their tongues tangle as Ellie rocked against him as if she couldn’t help herself.

His wolf howled in triumph and nudged at him, wanting him to mount her right away.

Done with words, he slowly ran his hands up and down her body as he continued to kiss her lips, her jaw, her neck. She moaned and writhed against him, turning him on more than he thought possible. He pulled back and met her gaze, and he took off her top, leaving her full breasts bare. They were ripe—at least a handful—and were tipped with dark nipples that hardened in the cool air of the room…or under his gaze.

Either way, he groaned at the sight of them, though he also saw the scars that marred her sides and belly, He ignored them for now, needing her to know he saw her as a woman first and foremost—never a victim.

She raised her chin as if daring him to say anything about it, so he kissed her lips then trailed kisses down her shoulders to the valley between her breasts. He could feel her heartbeat quicken under his tongue, and he smiled before turning his attention to her nipples. He rolled one in his fingers while suckling on the other, gently biting down so he could gauge her reaction.

“Maddox…” she breathed.

Good.

He sucked and nibbled her breasts, alternating between the two while palming the other in his hand to show them equal, exquisite attention. Her breathing labored as he ran his tongue under each breast and then lower. He dipped his tongue in her belly button, causing her to jump. Maddox palmed her ass, keeping her in place, and looked up, running his tongue along the waistband of her pants where it met her skin.

“What…what are you doing?”

He smiled and gently pushed her toward the bed. The back of her legs hit it, and she froze.

“I’m going to taste every inch of you, and then I’m going to love you until neither of us can breathe. We’ll both be so spent we’ll just lie in a heap until morning, and then I’ll take you again just because I can. Does that sound like a plan?”

Her eyes widened, and then she smiled. “I think I’m going to like being your mate.”

He bit her hip slightly then laved at the mark to lessen the sting. Ellie gasped, so he bit her other side, loving the way she responded.

She looked like a goddess, standing above him topless, her hair framing her face and running down her back. A long lock fell over her shoulder, brushing her breast, and he twirled it around his finger, gently touching her nipple as he did so. He let the lock fall so it cascaded along her breast again and smiled.

He was going to love taking his time with her.

This was the only form of torture she’d ever go through again.

No, he couldn’t think about that, not now.

Maddox felt her fingers along his brow, and he looked up at her.

“No dark thoughts, my Omega. Only good ones. Only us.”

He kissed her belly then pulled back to nod. “Only us.”

He wrapped the top of her yoga pants around his hands and pulled down, his gaze never leaving hers. She lifted one leg then the other as he removed them completely. He finally looked down and sucked in a breath.

“No panties?”

“They’re in the wash,” she whispered. “We don’t have that many clothes, you know.” She seemed almost embarrassed at the fact she was naked before him.

He’d have to do something about that—tell her how beautiful she was and how much he wanted her…even when he’d denied it for so long.

“I’m not complaining. Dear goddess, I’m not complaining.”

Maddox held himself still, trying to gain control. Goddess, his Ellie was the hottest thing he’d ever seen. She had curves, yes, but they were made from strength and learning to be herself. Her hips flared out, perfect for his hold. He could imagine himself gripping her hard as he pumped in and out of her, either from behind or from above where he could look into those dark eyes of hers and fall so deep.

Ellie held a hand out then froze, as if unsure of herself.

“Ellie mine, what do you want? What do you need?” He trailed his fingers down her hips as he spoke, her soft skin tantalizing.

“I…I don’t know.” She shook her head, even as he felt her tremble beneath his touch. “I’m not good at this sort of thing.”

He pushed back the anger at that statement. Not toward her, of course, but against those who’d taken away her innocence and the fragile hold on who she could have become. He’d find a way to make it up to her.

Starting right now.

He slowly sat her down on the bed, and then he knelt between her thighs. He then lifted her chin to meet her gaze directly.

“I already told you that you just have to do what feels good, my Ellie.” He took her lips then, relishing her taste.

He pulled back and took off his shirt, loving the way her eyes widened while looking at his chest. He knew she’d risked peeks at him before in stolen glances—as he’d done to her even when he’d denied himself.

He kissed her again then trailed his lips and hands along her neck and shoulders. He felt her fingers delectably dance along his skin, and he smiled.

She was doing something she desired for once.

Good.      

He lowered his head to her breast and suckled on the sweet berry, flicking his tongue as she panted against him. He shifted attention to her other breast, and she moaned, slightly rocking toward him. Again, like before, he licked and kissed down her belly until he reached her hips then pushed her back so she lay flat on the bed, her legs dangling off the end.

She was bare to him, only a small amount of dark hair on her mound drawing his attention to the glorious sight before him. To him, she was untouched, clean and fresh as a new day’s snow.

Ellie leaned up on her elbows and stared down at him, so he met her gaze and lowered his face, letting his tongue press against the hood of her clit.

She gasped, her body freezing, but he didn’t hold her down to kiss her more intimately. No, he’d never hold her down.

“Does that feel good?” he asked as he blew against her opening.

She shuddered then nodded, as if hesitant to say anything aloud.

“Good, my sweet Ellie. I’m going to taste you then make you come.” He usually wasn’t so vocal during sex, but this was different; this was Ellie. He wanted to make sure she knew everything that was to come, and frankly, this wasn’t just sex…this was making love.

“You…you don’t have to be so cautious with me,” she whispered. “I’m not technically a virgin.”

He shook his head then placed a kiss on both of her inner thighs. “This is your first time, darling.
Our
first time. This is just us.”

She nodded, and then he leaned in to trail his tongue along her lower lips. He parted her before licking and sucking, savoring her sweet taste.

Ellie buckled off the bed, but again, he didn’t hold her down. Instead, he kissed and rolled his tongue along her pussy and clit while trailing one hand along her hip, relaxing her at the same time.

Slowly, he circled one finger around her clit then lower to her core before entering her. Her inner walls clamped around his finger, and he smiled before licking her again. He worked in and out of her channel then added a second finger, curling them to find that special point that would take her over the edge.

“Oh…Maddox,” she whispered, her voice a plea.

He sucked on her clit as he rubbed circles on her G-spot, growling softly as he did so, sending vibrations through his soon-to-be-mate’s body.

Her walls clamped down on him tighter, and she screamed, coming in a glorious blush. He didn’t relent, wanting her to come down slowly and still in the midst of pleasure.

Finally, he pulled away and stood above her.

Goddess, she was magnificent.

Her tanned skin had a rosy hue, her body slightly glowing from exertion.