Shaxoa's Gift (11 page)

Stepping away from him, I started piling the
items I had collected into the extra bag. My father got up, rushing
to my side. His hands tried to take mine, but I refused his touch.
He was begging me to listen, to stay with him still. Unable to bear
his pleading a moment longer, I pushed him away and met his eyes
one last time.

“Stay away from me. I
will
wait for
Uriah, and wherever his path leads him, I’ll follow. I’ll stay by
his side no matter what. Unlike you, Uriah has never given me any
reason to doubt his love. I trust him with my life, Dad, way more
than I would ever trust you,” I snap. “Uriah is the kindest, most
caring and loving person I have ever met. He treats me like a
queen, even though I’m far from it. Look at what he’s been willing
to do to save me, what he’s still doing to rescue me. He’s a
thousand times the man you are.”

I start to turn away, but pause, having one
more thing to say to him. “It makes no difference what you think
you know, Dad. Even if you told me Uriah was going to be bombarded
by a horde of zombies, or turned into one of the dark gods with no
hope of ever doing a kind deed again, I still wouldn’t abandon him.
I will face whatever you think is coming for him head on, without
fear. You pretend to be so strong and powerful, but you aren’t.
You’re scared, Dad, scared of losing, of being tested and finding
out you aren’t who you think you are. I’m not like you. I’m not
scared.”

My words struck my dad. Stumbling back a step
he seemed to shrink before me. He knew I was right. He had tried to
find a way around whatever he thought surrounded Uriah. That
failed, so he tried again to swindle the gods. How would my life,
Uriah’s life, have been different if he had just stood up and faced
the secrets he refused to share with me from the beginning? I
didn’t know what had him so scared, but I could see he was
terrified I would walk away from him. Perhaps he really did love me
in some way. If he didn’t care, like I always believed he didn’t,
he would let me go without a backward glance. The realization
softened my voice. “I can’t stay here anymore, Dad. I don’t know
when I’ll be back, but if I ever do come back, it will be with
Uriah. I won’t lose him.”

His head drooped at the finality in my
voice.

“I wish you would tell me what you know. If
you really wanted to protect me, you would tell me.” I waited,
hoping he would come through for me this one time.

The slow shake of his head saddened me. “I
can’t, Claire. I just can’t.”

“Fine.”

Shouldering my bags, I grabbed my cell phone
off the desk and stalked out of the room. Scurrying footsteps
brought my mom and Sophia into the hallway. Their faces were tense.
I didn’t know if they had planned this, or if my dad had surprised
them both, but it didn’t matter. Even if they had planned it, I
felt no anger at them. It was good that I had finally faced my dad.
My anger at him had already started to dissipate. I felt no better
about what had happened, but at least I had confronted him. At
least I knew he had a reason for doing what he did, even if he
refused to share it with me.

His refusal to tell me what he knew went
against everything he claimed to have done to protect me, but it
wasn’t surprising. If he believed himself some sacred keeper of
knowledge, he wasn’t going to give in. Not without some strenuous
convincing. And I knew I didn’t have the strength for that right
now. That didn’t mean I was letting this go. I would be back for
answers, soon.

The one good thing about facing him was that
he finally told me he loved me. He was an idiot for doing what he
had done, but even misguided love was better than none at all, I
supposed. I realized that in some strange way, I might be able to
forgive him one day. Before I would look at him and see only a
selfish man, hungering after money and prestige, but now I saw
another side of him, a carefully hidden side that wanted to protect
me. I would never be close to him like father and daughter should
be, but it was enough to know he didn’t despise me.

My mom looked at me uncertainly in the face
of my silence.

“I got what I needed, Mom,” I said. I didn’t
want to rehash the discussion with my dad. She could ask him
herself if she really wanted to hear the details. Not that he would
actually explain things to her any more than he did for me.

It stung me to see her face turned down, her
lips tightened to keep them from trembling. “Be sure to help Sophia
and Mrs. Crowe as much as you can,” she said. Her words and
gestures were supportive, even though I knew she wanted to keep me
from leaving. “I’ll be by to visit tomorrow, if that’s okay.”

“Of course it is, Mom,” I said with tears in
my eyes. None of this was her fault, but I knew I was punishing her
by going. All I could do was hope she understood why I had to
leave, and that she would forgive me in time. Pulling me close, I
felt my mom’s arms squeeze me tightly and I returned the embrace.
“Could you do something for me?” I asked her.

“Of course, honey. What is it?” she
asked.

“Tell Dad that if he changes his mind about
telling me, I’m willing to listen. He knows where to find me,” I
said. “I have to leave, now. I’m sorry, Mom.” My last words were a
whispered apology.

My mom shook her head fiercely through her
confusion at my odd request. “None of this is your fault. Your
father has made his choices, and now he must be accountable for
them,” she said. She clearly didn’t understand what had happened
between me and my dad, but I didn’t have the strength or
understanding to explain. Smiling as warmly as she could, she
continued, “Everything will work out, Claire. I truly believe
that.”

“Thank you, Mom.”

Sophia touched my arm softly. It was time to
go home.

10: Trust

Kaya set the phone down gently before turning
back to me. “She’s agreed to see you this evening.”

This evening, I thought. I couldn’t help but
glance at the clock on Kaya’s mantle. Evening was still hours away.
I had been hoping that as soon as Kaya hung up the phone, we would
be on our way over, on our way to find out whether the Shaxoa could
really help Claire, or not. Talon rubbed his head against my leg,
urging me to be patient. I was so tired of hearing that word. I
couldn’t risk offending the Shaxoa, though. I forced myself to bury
my frustration and looked back up at Kaya.

“Thank you, Kaya,” I said. I averted my eyes
and tried to distract myself by scratching Talon’s head.

Kaya moved across the room to the window and
stood staring out at the desert landscape. Her conversation had
been carried in quiet tones, but I had gathered that the Shaxoa had
not been keen on the idea of meeting with me. I wondered about
that. Zarafen was despised by everyone in the tribe, but she would
willingly meet with anyone who claimed to need her services. She
enjoyed her work.

“What happened to the girl who got hurt?” I
asked.

Kaya flinched at the mention of the incident.
Glancing at Talon, she bit her bottom lip. The cougar’s presence
seemed to remind her that I would know if she tried to lie to me.
Coming to the dining table, Kaya sat down with an uncomfortable
sigh.

“Her name is Raina Sosie. I think she was
talked into going to Samantha on a dare from her friends,” Kaya
said. “Raina approached Samantha, the Shaxoa, and told her that she
wanted to learn from her. Samantha took her into her confidence and
began to teach her about her work. Raina got scared and interrupted
Samantha in the middle of a demonstration about some very powerful
herbs. Raina disturbed the herbs and I think she might have inhaled
some of them.

“I don’t know the exact details of what
happened, but Samantha brought the girl to me in tears and begged
me to help her. I had never seen Samantha so scared before,” Kaya
said. “Luckily, Raina was fine. She had just been stunned or fell
unconscious. She was asleep for a few hours before she woke up
screaming. It took me another few hours to calm her down. She
wasn’t actually hurt, thank goodness, but it scared Samantha and
me. Samantha has been very leery of meeting with anyone ever
since.”

“When did this happen?” I asked.

“About two weeks ago. Needless to say, the
three of us haven’t spoken of it to anyone,” Kaya said.

I was amazed that Kaya was so willing to
believe that the Shaxoa hadn’t meant to harm the girl. Zarafen and
other Shaxoas had a reputation for being just as likely to harm
those seeking their aid as they were to fulfill their patrons’
requests. “You seem to trust this Shaxoa quite a bit. Just how well
do you know Samantha?” I asked, lifting a glass of water to my
lips.

“Pretty well,” Kaya said. “She’s my
sister.”

The water I had just taken a drink of went
somewhere it should not have. Choking down the rest of the liquid
in my mouth, I burst into a fit of coughing. Kaya jumped up and
started patting my back hard enough to make me wince.

“Are you okay?” she asked when I was finally
able to breathe again.

“She’s your sister?”

Kaya’s head dropped, though not in shame. I
suspected she had faced the same question many times before. “Yes,
Samantha is my sister.”

“How the hell did that happen?” I asked.

Kaya’s eyes snapped up at my language. The
curse was mild, but her deep frown told me it was not
appreciated.

“Sorry,” I said quickly. “It’s kind of
bizarre, though.”

“Yeah,” Kaya said. Her voice had an accusing
tone to it, and her folded arms challenged me to comment on her
sister further.

I refused to back down. Claire’s future
depended on this woman. I would not put my trust in her without
being sure she was worthy of it. “How does one family produce a
shaman and a Shaxoa?”

“It’s not that unbelievable. Power has long
been believed to follow family lines. That’s why leadership was
usually passed from parent to child,” Kaya said.

“Sure, I guess that makes sense, but how did
you end up having a Shaxoa for a sister?” I asked.

Kaya stiffened slightly, but kept her face
composed.

“I’m sorry, Kaya, that was rude. It’s just
that Quaile and Zarafen hate, and I mean hate, each other, for
obvious reasons. You still care about Samantha, though, don’t you?”
It was a stupid question. Of course Kaya still cared about her
sister.

“Yes I still care, Uriah, wouldn’t you?” Kaya
said.

I nodded even though I had no experience with
siblings, evil or not. I could never turn my back on family
either.

“She…she’s a good person. She studies what
she does because she wants to understand it, not so she can hurt
people. She has never given anyone anything that could be used to
harm someone, never, and she never will. The incident with Raina
practically put her into seclusion. She hasn’t touched her work
since.”

“Does she know why I want to see her?” I
asked.

Kaya shook her head hesitantly. “It will take
a lot of convincing to get her to help you. She may not understand
why you want what you want, but I think I’ll be able to make her
believe that you aren’t trying to harm Claire.”

“Why do you believe me?” I asked. I was
grateful that she did, since Claire was relying on her help, but I
couldn’t really understand it. I don’t know that I would have
believed my story if I hadn’t experienced it myself. A slight shift
in Talon’s body drew my attention. “Is it because of Talon?”

Kaya smiled. “Talon is amazing, something I
had never thought to see in my lifetime, but it’s more than that.
The moment I touched you I could feel your sincerity.”

I must have looked confused. Quaile displayed
no such talent. Kaya smiled. “Not every shaman is blessed with the
same gifts. Some have none at all, but are chosen as shaman for
their wisdom and ability to lead the tribe spiritually,” Kaya said.
“When you speak of your own shaman, Quaile, you flinch. You left
something out about her when you told me your story earlier, didn’t
you?”

I nodded, not trusting my tongue to speak of
Quaile without a string of bitter curses spewing out as well.

“I know a little about Quaile,” Kaya said.
“I’ve only been the shaman in Hano for two years. The woman before
me was named Naomi, and she knew Quaile very well. They did
not
get along.”

I could believe that.

“From what Naomi told me about Quaile, she is
a wise woman, but not a trusting one. She seemed to believe that
she should decide what those under her care should know and do, and
what they shouldn’t.”

I grunted in annoyance and Kaya took it as an
acknowledgement that she was right about Quaile.

“Naomi believed that Quaile’s untrusting
nature was because Quaile was much more limited in her abilities
than she led everyone to believe,” Kaya said. “I thought that
seemed a little unfair at the time. What do you think?”

Considering how Quaile had handled the
situation with Claire and me, I was inclined to agree. “I think
that’s a fair assessment,” I said.

“Why don’t you tell me what happened with
Quaile to make you feel so strongly about her,” Kaya said.

Kaya already knew how Quaile had denied us
the right to marry, but I told her how Quaile had lied about my
chance to save Claire, and her later betrayal when she revealed the
potion needed Daniel’s blood. Kaya pursed her lips, and I doubted
that Kaya would have made the same choices. When I mentioned
Quaile’s dreams, Kaya moved to the edge of her chair. Not wanting
to answer questions about those at that moment, I quickly changed
the subject to the strange way Quaile had been able to repel the
Matwau.

“How did she do that?” I asked.

“Shaman are granted certain protection given
to them by the gods,” Kaya said. “Calling on animals for aid is
one, placing a person under her protection is another, and
protection against the dark gods’ agents is the other.”