Shaxoa's Gift (32 page)

The shadow shifted to look at me. It was a
few seconds before it straightened and stood to face me. The fading
sunlight left his face shadowed, but mine was twisted into
confusion. He was standing. He must not be hurt after all. But why
was he sitting half a mile from our camp instead of waiting for me
like he promised?

“Uriah, what are you doing out here?” I
asked. I took another step toward him. Something seemed very wrong,
but I didn’t know what it was.

“Claire?” It was Uriah’s voice, but he said
my name as if the sound was foreign to his tongue. “What are you
doing here?”

I stopped. What was I doing here? Why would
he ask me that? “What do you mean what am I doing here? I’m looking
for you,” I said. “I waited at the camp for you, but when you
didn’t show up, I came looking for you. Are you hurt or lost?”

“No, I’m fine,” he said as if the question
made no sense.

My confusion was quickly turning to
irritation. “Then what are you doing out here?”

“I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be,” he
said.

“No you’re not. You’re supposed to be camping
with me in the valley, not sitting by yourself in the dark,” I
said. What was going on?

“I’m sorry, Claire, but I am
not
supposed to be with you anymore, and you know that.” He shifted,
his hand reaching for something. A shadow I had not seen before
moved and stood next to Uriah. I stepped closer and gasped. Even in
the dark I could see that it was a woman. “I belong with my Twin
Soul now, Claire.”

“No, no, please, no,” I cried. “Please don’t
do this to me, Uriah.”

“Claire you can’t expect me to choose you
over my Twin Soul. I am happier with her than I ever could have
been with you,” Uriah said. His voice was full of pity, not the
slightest hint of regret.

“I
can
expect you to choose me over
her, Uriah. I did it for you. I gave up Daniel for you, because I
love you.” Hot salty tears ran down my cheeks. I had just gotten
him back and now he was being whisked away from me again. “You have
to fight, Uriah. I can help you. It won’t be easy, but I won’t give
up on you. We can still be together.”

Uriah smiled a sad smile. “If I wanted to
fight, you probably could help me, but I don’t want to, Claire. I
have already made my choice.”

“No. Uriah, don’t do this, please,” I
begged.

Uriah shook his head and turned away. He
walked hand in hand with his Twin Soul into the haunting dark of
the moonless night. I stumbled after him. I wouldn’t give up so
easily. He wanted me. I knew he did. He just needed me to show him
how to fight. Braches and needles scratched my skin, but I pushed
into the night.

“Uriah! Uriah!” I screamed his name over and
over, stumbling through the trees, but I never heard an answer.
They were gone. I would never have my Uriah back. He had abandoned
me. I fell to my knees and dropped my head into the cool sand.
“Uriah,” I sobbed, “please come back. Please come back.” The howl
of a hunting coyote was my only answer.

“Claire. Claire,” someone called. My eyes
snapped open, and I prayed that my love had returned. Bright
sunlight hit me, and I hid my face. “Claire, honey, are you awake?”
The soft feminine voice didn’t belong to Uriah. I forced my eyes
open again and blinked them quickly to make them adjust. Uriah’s
mother stared back at me.

Had she found me wandering in the desert? Did
she know about Uriah? Did she know where he was? “Where is he?
Where’s Uriah? I have to find him,” I said.

“Claire,” Lina said, her mouth twisted with
concern, “calm down, dear. Uriah isn’t back yet. You don’t have to
find him. He’ll be home soon.”

“I lost him in the desert. He said that he
didn’t belong with me anymore, but he does. I have to find him and
make him see that. We belong together,” I said. I tried to untangle
myself from the sheets, but Lina put her hands on my shoulders and
forced me back into bed.

“Claire, you were dreaming,” she said.

I stared at her. Dreaming? No, it was real. I
remembered every smell, the feel of night descending on the desert
hills, the warmth of the fire. It was real.

“Claire, Sophia found you passed out on the
kitchen floor this morning. She put you back in bed, and you’ve
been sleeping right here ever since. You didn’t go to the desert
with Uriah. He isn’t home yet.”

I remembered being in the kitchen. I
remembered the phone call from Daniel. I shuddered at the memory. I
didn’t remember passing out, but I didn’t really remember anything
after the phone call either. Thinking of Daniel’s voice brought
reality back to me. The force of the bond was stronger than ever.
My eyes darted to the computer desk and the knife that still sat
upon it. Cut after cut, it had worked the day before, but as I felt
the noose around me, I was unsure if even pain could loosen the
chokehold. I was suddenly shaking with the effort of keeping myself
from darting out the door.

That was all the confirmation I needed. Uriah
hadn’t come back and broken the bond. He hadn’t abandoned me in the
desert either. It was a bittersweet reality. I would give anything
to break the Twin Soul bond, but knowing that Uriah was still out
there fighting for me brought relief deep enough to banish the
aching desires of the bond for a few brief seconds.

“I’m so sorry, Lina,” I said. I felt slightly
embarrassed at my theatrics. “The dream was so real. It was
awful.”

Lina watched me carefully. Slowly her grip on
my shoulders relaxed. “It was just a dream. Uriah will be home
soon.”

“How soon?” I asked. “Did he call?”

“No,” Lina said softly, “not yet, but he
will.”

I couldn’t sit and wait another day. I needed
to know where he was and what he was doing. I was running out of
ways to distract myself. Every day the bond grew stronger, trying
to overpower my will. Even in Uriah’s room, surrounded by
everything he loved, I needed more. If I knew where he was or how
he was trying to break the bond, I would be able to handle his
absence better. Not knowing was too difficult. My fears were
seeping into my dreams and would soon overwhelm me completely
without help.

“I need to see my dad,” I said firmly.
Looking up at Uriah’s mother, my resolve deepened. I was going to
get some answers.

“Why do you need to see your father?” Lina
asked, looking alarmed.

“Because we didn’t finish our conversation
the other day.” I had tried to get what I needed from Lina. Quaile
knew, too, but between my dad and Quaile, he was the easier target.
That didn’t mean Quaile was getting off the hook, though. Whatever
my dad knew, Quaile knew more and I figured the only way to get her
to talk to me was to get my dad to talk and show her that I already
knew some of her secrets.

“And then I need to see Quaile,” I said. “Can
you call her for me? I’ve been trying to call her for the past few
days, but she won’t answer. Maybe you’ll have better luck. I really
need to know what she said to Uriah. I can’t keep sitting here not
knowing what’s happening.”

Lina hesitated. “I’ll try calling her, but I
can’t guarantee she’ll see you, Claire. She’s, uh, very busy.”

“Yeah, I’m sure it has nothing to do with
what you both won’t tell me about Uriah,” I said sarcastically.
They couldn’t hide this from me forever. If I had to go to her
house and knock down the door, I would. I deserved to know the
truth, and from what I had heard, she owed Uriah plenty. “You’ll
try to get a hold of her?”

“Yes, I’ll try to call her,” Lina said. “Now
why don’t you lie back down and get some rest.”

“I’m fine, really. I need to go see my dad,”
I said. I needed to get up and move, to find enough answers to keep
me from giving in. I tried to pull the blankets off my body, but
Lina took them out of my hands and laid them back against me.

“Claire, maybe you should rest a little more.
Neither Sophia or I could wake you earlier. It scared us both,”
Lina said.

“How long was I out?” I asked.

“It’s just after twelve o’clock. You’ve been
asleep all morning,” Lina said. “Why don’t you let me get you
something to eat?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Just lie down for a little while longer. Eat
first and then we can talk about who you need to go see.” She stood
and made her way to the door with the help of her cane. She was
ignoring my protests because she didn’t me want to find out what
she was hiding about Uriah. I stopped objecting and let her
leave.

Lina turned back to look at me before making
it through the doorway. “I mean it. You stay in bed until I get
back or I’ll tell Sophia.” She said it with a smile, but I could
see the edge of desperation in her features.

I watched Lina hobble out of the room, intent
on jumping up and scrambling into my clothes so I could leave, but
her absence left me with no buffer against the bond. It doubled me
over in agony. As soon as the click of her cane faded, I scrambled
out from underneath the blankets. Two bounding steps brought me to
the desk, my hands searching for the blade.

I wasn’t sure how long it would be before
Lina reappeared, so I dashed back to the bed with my prize. Both of
my upper arms were discolored with pulsing bruises, but only my
left arm held the angry red lines from the day before. Rolling up
my right sleeve, I held the knife awkwardly in my left hand. A
nervous glance at the door showed it was still empty.

Each biting slice softened the edge of bond.
I turned away, biting my lip and blinking away tears. As my mind
began to clear again, I reached out for Uriah. His soft, but
serious features seemed to watch me. I blanched at the hurt that
seemed to emanate from his eyes. I could never let him see what I
had done. He would blame himself for my weakness and failures.
Reaching for the washcloth I had hidden under the pillow the day
before, I held it to my arm until the bleeding began to ebb.

When I finally pulled the cloth away, the
small fibers stuck to my wounds before letting go. I rolled up the
rag and shoved it and the knife under the pillow. Drained, I fell
back against the pillow and used the bed sheet to wipe away what
remained of my tears. I knew the break in the storm would not last
long, but that didn’t stop me from relishing the few moments of
peace. I needed to get up and find my dad. I couldn’t seem to find
the strength to move. Reaching up to push away a few strands of
stray hair, I saw the colorful beads wrapping around my wrist.

I touched the leather bracelet. Of all
Uriah’s things, it was the only thing that still held any sway
against the bond. I twisted the thin leather, watching the pattern
of the beads move around my wrist. His father had given it to him,
and I dreamed of the day Uriah would give it to our son. The
bracelet linked me to Uriah’s past and our future together. I
watched the colors, keeping every other thought away and waiting
for my strength to return. I had to get out of the house before
Lina came back and stopped me from figuring out what everyone was
hiding from me about Uriah’s future.

Lina’s shuffling steps drew my eyes away from
the bracelet a few seconds later, and I immediately clenched my jaw
in frustration. My time had run out because of the treacherous
bond. It stabbed at me again for my thoughts, and I had to turn my
face away to hide my pain from Lina. I dug my fingers into the cuts
I had just made and let the pain wash over me. It should have
brought tears, but instead, I sighed with relief as I felt the fire
of the bond start to recede. Lina’s slow walk had given me the few
precious seconds I needed to regain my calm. I pulled my sleeve
down to cover the cuts and managed a tired smile.

“Here we go,” Lina said. She smiled as she
handed me the plate. “I tried to call Quaile, but there was no
answer. I’ll try again after lunch.”

The smell of green chile and slow cooked pork
warmed me. I would never criticize my mom’s cooking, but Sophia
knew more about authentic southwestern cooking than my mother ever
would. I accepted the bowl, barely able to hide my anxiousness to
leave, and took a bite.

Lina straightened Uriah’s room, at least the
parts she could reach without moving too much, while I ate my stew.
She pretended not to watch me, but her worried glances were hard to
miss. Every time I looked at her, I saw worry in her eyes. Worry
for me, worry for Uriah. I wondered what my own face must have
looked like. I felt like I was being torn apart from the inside. I
often caught myself sitting alone with my arms wrapped around my
legs. I would stare at nothing, but inside I was raging against
thoughts and desires for Daniel. I didn’t like to be alone.

I set the empty bowl on the night stand and
Lina was quick to settle back on the end of the bed. She smoothed
the blankets with her hand, an absentminded gesture to stall the
words she wanted to say. “What happened this morning?” Lina asked.
“Why did Sophia find you passed out in the kitchen?”

Now it was my turn to stare at the blanket.
Lina waited patiently. Without looking up, I said, “Daniel
called.”

“He called here?” Lina’s voice was
incredulous. “How did he know you were here?”

I shrugged. It didn’t matter. “He wanted me
to meet him.”

Lina huffed.

“I told him to leave me alone.”

“What did he say to that?” she asked.

“He said no, basically,” I said. “He just
doesn’t understand. He thinks that I should be happy to give up
Uriah for him. He didn’t believe me when I said these feelings
aren’t real. He doesn’t get that the love he feels is forced.”

“He won’t understand, Claire. He has nothing
to compare it to. For him, the love of Twin Souls is real. He has
never built a relationship from scratch like you and Uriah have.
Hold onto Uriah, Claire. He’ll be home soon,” Lina said. Her voice
hinted at deeper emotions.