Liquid fire flared deep in her belly. But that wasn’t the only part of her that was heating up. Mike’s embrace fanned a yearning, something she’d never experienced before and would’ve never missed had she not felt it. Something shifted inside her as this man softened the tough shell around her heart.
What the hell just happened?
She opened her eyes. He lifted his mouth an inch from hers. He was searching her face as if he were looking for the answer to the same question.
“I don’t like the thought of another man’s hands on you. It makes me crazy. It makes me want to break him in pieces.” He breathed the words out against her mouth. His lungs were heaving and sweat had broken out on his forehead. The blue of his eyes was nearly black with desire. He-Man’s iron self-control was slipping, all because of her. “What have you done to me?”
Rachel froze. Even if the kiss hadn’t left her breathless, she didn’t have an answer for him. His statement had a possessive edge that was making all the melty parts of her tense up again. She let her leg slowly slide back down to the ground, patted his uniform shirt into place, and smoothed out the wrinkles. For once in her life, she was speechless. Her brain mirrored his question. What had
he
done to
her
?
His eyes locked on hers. “What is it about you? You’re prickly and stubborn and reckless. Yet I can’t seem to get enough.” He pressed his forehead against hers in a surprising and unfamiliar gesture that highlighted the shift from sexual desire to something more intimate.
Oh no. She couldn’t handle more. Look what she’d done to Blake. And what her mother had done to her father.
She leaned away. A chill swept over her at the loss of contact—and at her loss of control. Was he just one more impulse decision? Something fueled by the tension built over the last few days?
Her inability to commit to Blake had destroyed the best, the only, real friendship of her life. She couldn’t go through that again. The stakes were higher this time. Mike fostered hope inside her. He filled the lonely, hollow space beneath
her breast bone. But what would happen when he figured out she wasn’t capable of giving the same back to him? Cold panic seeped through her skin and burrowed into her heart. Clammy sweat moistened her palms. She was breathless and lightheaded though her lungs were working like a fireplace bellows.
She needed air. She put both hands to his chest and pushed him away. “I can’t do this.”
The warmth in his eyes snuffed out like she’d doused a fire.
“Fair enough.” Mike’s voice went tight. He took a giant step back. His hands clenched once, then dropped to his sides. “My behavior was unprofessional, and I apologize.”
Rachel leaned over and picked up the saddle pad. She held it in front of her like a shield. “I’m sorry. It’s not you. It’s me. I’m not ready for this. I’m used to losing control, letting my emotions run away with me, and regretting what happens. I don’t want to regret you.”
Disappointment flooded Mike. She was already thinking she’d regret him. A minute ago, he’d been poised to risk his job, his whole life, to take whatever was brewing between them to the next step.
She was used to losing control? Well, he wasn’t.
Who was he kidding? Another minute or two and he would’ve made love to her right up against that wall. An image of her naked body wrapped around his sent a current of desire ripping through him.
Maybe she was right. He didn’t understand the effect she had on him. Even after her rejection, his body still raged for her. Every time she was nearby, his carefully honed control
deserted him like a coward running from battle. His divorce had left deep scars, but he’d never lost emotional control with Laura. Not once. Sure, his body had lusted after hers. His ex-wife modeled underwear. She was sin on stilettos. But his heart had never been in danger.
He stared at Rachel. She was on the verge of hyperventilating. Her eyes were wide, her face pale. The hands that gripped the saddle blanket still trembled. What happened between them had shaken her as badly as him.
She was absolutely nothing like Laura. Life with his ex-wife was full of melodrama, but it was the purposeful kind. Never once had she looked at him like he’d just rocked her body and soul with a kiss. Laura would’ve used him well before pushing him away, and then tried to keep him on a string.
No, Rachel wasn’t manipulating him. She was terrified. More frightened than when Troy went after her with a baseball bat. She’d been damaged at some point in her life. Whatever baggage she was carrying was way heavier than his, and from her reaction, she had no interest in letting him share the burden. As different as Rachel was from Laura, the fact that he still wanted to help her despite her rejection proved that he was a doormat as far as women went.
Mike ripped his eyes from her and turned away. The ache in his chest would surely abate eventually. He adjusted his slacks and willed his raging hard-on into submission. No luck there.
Moving on…
The incident with Will Martin, the one that had made Mike want to claim Rachel in the first place, had to be addressed.
“You can’t testify that it was Will who grabbed you?” He glanced over his shoulder to catch the expected shake of
her head. Her eyes were dark and filled with sadness. “I need to talk to Sean.”
He left her in the barn. Every step he took toward the house fueled the burn in his gut. This was ridiculous. He had no reason to feel guilty, like he was abandoning her.
She’d
rejected
him.
But damned if he still didn’t want to know what had made her this way—and if the damage was permanent.
Rachel saddled the gray and led him into the barnyard. Her knees weren’t as steady as she’d like, but nothing would smooth her out faster than a good hard gallop—something the antsy horse could also use. Sensing her turbulent emotions, the gray started prancing before her foot hit the stirrup. She gathered the reins and bypassed the ring, jogging instead into the meadow that edged the road. She and the horse both needed to get out of that small, enclosed space and into some open air. The gray pulled for the bit. She kept him to a trot but pushed his stride to lengthen as they looped the large field twice as a warm-up, then worked him through some serpentines.
He collected beautifully under her seat, his supple body flexing and yielding to her cues. Maybe jumping was the wrong sport for this animal. He seemed more cooperative as she eased him through a few basic dressage maneuvers than when she’d put him over fences.
His hindquarters gave a short buck, reminding her that he was full of pent-up energy. She softened her hands. The horse responded immediately, surging forward into a canter. Rachel shifted her weight forward and let him stretch
out. But not even the wind in her face or the flow of muscles beneath her could wipe out the memory of Mike’s kiss. Even with her eyes open, she couldn’t forget the image of the pain in his eyes as she’d pushed him away.
Fresh pressure built in her chest. Her eyes burned, and a few tears escaped.
Before she hadn’t known what she was missing. But now…
A tug on the reins brought Rachel’s attention back to her mount. The gray had slowed as they rounded the turn toward the barn. The horse drifted toward the barnyard. Rachel turned his head and applied pressure with her calves to maintain his forward momentum. The gray pulled harder, and Rachel’s shoulder, already exhausted, cramped. She dropped the rein. With a flick of his tail, the horse swerved and ducked his shoulder.
Rachel dropped her heels and butt. “Sorry, buddy. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” Seat secured, she scooped up the dangling rein and turned the horse firmly away from the barn.
Everything under her came loose. Rachel sailed from the horse’s back. The grass rushed up. Her body slammed into the ground. Pain ripped through her shoulder and arm. Inside her riding helmet, her head rang at the impact with the earth.
After Mike was sure his hard-on had deflated enough for mixed company, he headed toward the house to talk to Sean. He knocked on the back door. Sarah let him in.
“I’m looking for Sean.”
“He’s working in the den.”
Mike walked through the kitchen. At the newspaper-covered table, the girls were disemboweling a pumpkin with big plastic spoons. The guy from last night, Rachel’s
old friend
, was at the sink rinsing out a mug.
“David, I’d like to ask you a few questions about last night.”
“Uhm. Sure.” The guy was six-four, two-fifty, and solid as a refrigerator. Brown hair and eyes. Buzz cut. No visible scars or tattoos. But the way David refused to meet Mike’s gaze pricked his suspicion.
“You can use the living room.” Sarah nodded toward the hall.
The room was mostly empty, except for a few small tables, one lamp, and an old trunk.
Mike pulled his notebook from his breast pocket. David frowned at the pile of aged, yellowed papers on the nearest table. “How long have you known Rachel?”
David shifted his eyes to the wall over Mike’s right shoulder. “We were neighbors when we were kids.”
“When was the last time you saw her before this week?”
“When she came home for her mother’s funeral.” David’s grim expression gave Mike the impression that there was a long story behind that statement. One that Rachel wouldn’t share without bright lights, thumbscrews, and waterboarding.
“And you just showed up this week to help her out?”
“Actually, I came to see Sarah.” David didn’t elaborate, but Mike got the picture from the bright red flush that spread across the contractor’s face.
“Why were you at town hall last night?”
“I needed to pick up some building permits for a job.” David’s gaze dropped to the hardwood. Could the guy just
be super socially awkward? Or embarrassed that he had the hots for a married woman and was jumping in at the first sign she might be available?
“So, you weren’t there for the meeting?” Mike made a note to check his claim with the township construction department.
“No.”
“Did you see anything unusual?”
“Place was packed. I just grabbed my permits and got out of there. I don’t like crowds much.” Clearly uncomfortable, David shifted his weight and clasped his hands in front of his belt buckle. “I was pulling out of the lot when I heard the alarm and stuff. I went back to see if I could help.”
“What brings you here today, David?”
He crossed his arms over the hardware store logo on his chest. “I repainted the barn for Rachel.”
“Did she hire you to do that?” Mike wanted to know how close David was to Rachel. For purely professional reasons. David had been at the municipal building when the place caught fire.
This had nothing to do with jealousy or with the fact that Mike couldn’t get Rachel out of his head even after she’d held up the big red stop sign in front of his face. He was an idiot, thinking about that smoking kiss and the way her body felt under his hands. Her tight butt had fit perfectly in his palms. He’d wanted to lift her up and—
Forgive me, Father.
When
was
his last confession? He was ringing up sins like Christmas sales at the mall.
David shook his head. “No. I got a couple days between jobs. Goes fast with the right equipment. Thought I’d help her out.”