Sheet Music - A Rock 'n' Roll Love Story (28 page)

Annie shot Michael a quizzical look.  “The Ritz?”

“Yeah, management put us in rooms for the weekend because we’re double-booked at the FleetCenter and these are the last two shows of our tour.  There will be a lot of press here tomorrow night and I guess they wanted to make sure their commodity was in town for the party.  Besides that, my car is parked in the hotel garage.”

“Oh, I was just wondering.”

A few blocks from the Ritz-Carlton Hotel, Michael pressed the button and lowered the glass partition.

“Paul, call ahead and see how the lobby is for me,” Michael instructed.

“Already did.  Security is clearing it as we speak.”

“Thanks.”

Michael glanced over at the shocked expression on Annie’s face and smiled.  “You can never be too careful,” he shrugged.

Annie giggled.

“What’s so funny?” he asked.

“This.  All of this,” she answered, looking around the car.  “I never saw this side of you.  I didn’t know this was part of the package.”

The smile faded from him.  “I guess you weren’t with me long enough to see it,” he sighed and glanced at his lap.  “I was waiting for you to get healthy.  Then I was going to show you everything, the houses, the cars, travel, all of it.  My intention was never to hide anything from you, Annie.  I wanted you to be a part of it and share it with me.”

She nodded and glanced out the window.

“If I were arriving at the hotel alone, I’d probably do the polite thing and sign the autographs and pose for a few pictures.  But I’m not in the mood tonight to be bothered.”

Just then, the car came to stop against the curb.  The doorman from the Ritz-Carlton Hotel came out and opened the back door.  Michael stepped out first and helped Annie to the sidewalk beside him.  Within seconds they were escorted into the lobby.

“Wow,” Annie sighed quietly to herself.  She had never seen the inside of the Ritz Hotel lobby, with all its gilded trimmings and elegant furnishings.  It was as if she had stepped into another world.

Michael ushered her on, making small talk with the over-attentive hotel staff, and jumped into the first available empty elevator.

“Do you mind if I change out of these clothes before we take off?” he asked, pushing the ‘P’ for penthouse on the floor directory panel of the elevator.

“Fine.”

When the elevator doors opened they were greeted by two security guards who recognized Michael immediately.  A third guard waited outside the door to Michael’s suite, which let them inside before shutting the door.  Then Michael flipped on the light switch and illuminated Annie’s surroundings.

“All this security for one man?” she commented.

“Not just me.  Brian and the other guys have rooms on this floor too.”

“Michael, this isn’t a room.  It’s an apartment,” Annie giggled, amazed by the size and decorative touches around her.  I’ve never been in the lobby of this hotel, never mind the penthouse suite!”

“Go head, and take a look around if you want.  I’m going to take a quick shower and change.  I’ll be right back,” he said, disappearing into the back room that Annie figured to be the bedroom.

She walked into the expansive living room and toward a wall of windows, then stood mesmerized by the view below and beyond her.  Below was the famous public gardens at Boston Common and beyond was a sea of twinkling lights and skyscrapers, each one appearing larger than the next.

“Nice view, isn’t it?” Michael’s voice called to her.  She jumped when she heard his voice and turned to face him.  His hair was combed off the forehead, and wet.  Fresh jeans were zipped but not buttoned, and he was still wrestling to pull on a clean, white t-shirt over his damp chest.  She wondered if he could hear her gasp at the sight of him from across the room, and blushed at the thought he may have.

“Would you like something to drink?” he called to her from the kitchen.

“Water would be nice.”

“Good thing, because all I have in here is juices and bottled water.  Over a decade sober and management still has the staff clean the liquor out of our rooms before we check-in.  How’s that for trust?” he joked.

Michael brought Annie a glass with ice and a bottle of water.  Then flopped himself into the overstuffed couch making himself at home.  Annie remained standing by the window, almost afraid to move in any direction.

“Does it make you uncomfortable to be here with me?” he asked, a hint of sadness in his voice.  “Because if it does, we can go for a ride or I can take you back to your friend.”

“No, this is fine,” she replied, slowly approaching the couch and sitting on the opposite end.  She poured the water into her glass and prayed he hadn’t noticed her trembling hands.  “I came here for a purpose.  Too much needs to be said and I can’t let my nerves stop that.  Turns out, this is harder than I thought it would be.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I’m nervous too.”

A long unsettling pause followed, and Annie began to fidget.

“Do you want me to go first?” he asked, resting his arm across the back of the couch behind her.

“No, I will.  I’m just having a little trouble getting started, that’s all.”

“Maybe if you closed your eyes,” he suggested

Instantly, the memory of the first time he asked her to play her music for him came to mind.  Annie tossed her head in his direction, a full smile forming on her face, several loose strands of her hair landing haphazardly on his forearm stretched behind her neck.

It was that exact glance, her shy smile, and pale blue eyes that seemed to dance with life, that had haunted his dreams on too many restless nights in the previous months.  Seeing it now made every nerve ending in his body come to attention.  His eyes dropped to her lips, sweet and so pleasurable to kiss.  Arousal slowly began to creep into his groin

“It wouldn’t help if I closed my eyes, Michael.  I’d still be able to smell you.”

He tipped his head curiously. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” he asked, forcing the weight of his stare from her mouth.

“It’s a good thing.  I always loved your scent.”

The levity eased some of the tension between them and Annie began to relax.

“I guess the best place to start is the beginning,” she sighed.  Then, taking a deep breath, she began.  “You were right.  I was an addict.  It began at your house.  I was so desperate to be with you, I over-medicated myself to mask the pain.  I was afraid if you knew the amount of pain I was in, you would have brought me back to the hospital and we wouldn’t be together.  It was wrong to do that because the physical pain was only part of what I was really suffering.  The emotional scars left from that accident far outweighed anything else I was dealing with.”

“Why didn’t you say something?”

“I tried to - many times - but I was afraid to be completely honest.  Saying it out loud meant I’d have to admit I was dying on the inside.”

She wiped the tears from her face and glanced toward Michael.  “Part of the reason I’m here tonight is to talk about the night you brought me to rehab.  I know you felt guilty about leaving me there.  I saw it in your eyes.  But it was the right thing to do and I came out a stronger and wiser person for it.  You said some pretty harsh things to me that night and it hurt but I also knew it was the truth.  I hated you for finding me at Lola’s and seeing me like that, but I hated myself more.  I remember you asked if I had purposely taken all those pills to kill myself.  On a conscious level, I know I didn’t, but sub-consciously I might have, and the truth of that scared the hell out of me.”

“Annie, I do have a lot of guilt about all of that,” he shook his head, looking directly at her.  “I should have listened better to what you were saying and paid more attention to the signs.  If anyone should have known what was going on, it was me.  But I didn’t want to believe it was happening, so, on some level, I chose to ignore it, thinking it would all go away and fix itself.  I’m sorry.  I should have handled the situation a lot better than I did.”

“Don’t be sorry.  None of that was your fault.  You did the best you could.”

Annie dropped her eyes to the floor.  “I also want to apologize for the things I said to you in the parking lot of Lola’s.  I can’t erase what I said, but you have to understand that I would have said anything at that point to get you to leave.  That is how much self-loathing I had.”  Then she turned to face him again.  “I also want you to know I didn’t mean any of it.  I lied about it all.”

Michael forced a weak smile.  “I know.  That’s why I kissed you.  When we kissed, your resistance melted.  It may have only lasted for a second but it was enough for me to know you still cared.”

She took a sip of water and rubbed at her eyes.

“Did you know I called once a week to get updates on your condition while you were at the clinic?” he asked.

“Yes, Dr. Ramos told me but I asked him to stop delivering the messages after a couple of weeks.  I was still too angry to even hear your name mentioned in conversation.”

“I was hoping you would have called me when you got out of rehab, but you didn’t.”

“I still wasn’t ready to face you.” she said.  “I thought about calling you so many times but could never force myself to follow through with it.”

Michael reached out with his finger tips and toyed with the long golden strands of hair that covered her back.  “I’m glad you’re here now.”

Annie pulled away from his touch and squeezed her eyes tight.  The calculated movement slammed into Michael’s heart with the impact of a sledgehammer.

“Please don’t do that,” she insisted.  “If you touch me, I’ll get distracted and I won’t be able to say everything I came here to say.”

“I’m sorry.  Go on,” he answered, removing his arm from the back of the couch.

Annie stood and walked to the window and stared blankly at the city streets below.  “I want you to realize I completely appreciated everything you did for me at your house.  If I didn’t thank you then, I’m thanking you now.  If it weren’t for your generosity, I would have been sent to another hospital and you saved me from that.  But living in that house was a nightmare for me.  It consumed me.  And I’m not saying that to hurt you, Michael.  I just want you to understand what I was dealing with.”

She pressed her face against the cool glass.  “God, I loved being with you,” she sighed heavily.  “I felt a connection to you that I couldn’t possibly begin to describe except to say it came as close as anything to my ideal of perfection.  But, I had so much going on inside myself I had no idea how to release it.  The baggage overshadowed everything.”

Michael sat silent across the room, concentrating on every word that left her mouth.  Some of it was painful to hear but he was grateful the conversation was taking place at all.

“Is that why you left me?” he asked.

Annie’s back stiffened when she heard his question.  “Michael, that isn’t why I moved out of your house,” she blurted.

She heard him get off the couch, walk across the room, and stand behind her.  In the reflection of the glass she saw his hands lift as if to embrace her but instead he slid them into the front pockets of his jeans.

“Then why did you leave?” he asked, moving around so he could see her face.

Annie’s head dropped.  “Because you cheated,” she answered softly.

He stood upright and turned her by the shoulders, forcing her eyes to meet his.  “Annie, I never cheated.  Not once.  It wasn’t even a consideration.”

“People were telling me things…”

“Who?  Gary?”

“Yes, but Beth was saying the same thing.”

“Beth?  And you believed her?”  He moved away from her in anger.

“I also called your hotel room and twice a woman answered the phone.”

“When was that?”

“You were in Los Angeles.”

Michael raked his hands through his hair, thinking.  “Damn it, Annie.  I switched rooms with Brian in Los Angeles.  He wanted the room with the bigger window and he had a girl with him that night.”

Annie shook her head in disbelief.

“Listen to me,” he said, spinning her around again to face him.  “I never cheated.  And you are the first woman I’ve ever said that to and actually meant it!”

Annie began to cry.

“Why didn’t you talk to me about this, instead of running?” he asked, anger masked his eyes.

“I was too afraid.  It was easier to run than to stay and fight.”

“Wow, and I thought we had something worth fighting for.”  He sat back against the window ledge and sighed heavily.  “All this time you thought I had been unfaithful?”

She looked at him.  His eyes were filled with emotion.  “I’m really sorry.  Maybe I was wrong.”

He caught her gaze and skewed his face.  “Maybe?”

She wiped the tears from her face again.  “I
was
wrong.  But the drugs in my system didn't exactly help me to think straight.”

He grinned.  “I’ll give you that.”

Annie sat up on the window ledge beside him with her back to the skyline.

Silence fell between them, each caught in their own thoughts.

“Never?” she asked in a hushed tone, her eyes meeting his.

He shook his head.  “No.  I wanted you.”

Annie squeezed her eyes shut and tipped her head back against the glass.  “I have no right to ask this but, what about after I moved out?”

The smile faded from his face.  “You can ask me anything you want, and I promise I will be completely honest,” he whispered.  “But be sure the truth is what you really want to hear before you ask the question.”  He studied her face thoughtfully.  “Do you still want me to answer that question?”

Annie nodded.

He turned away from her and gazed out the window.  She could see the tightness in his jaw and suddenly wished she hadn’t asked the question.

When he finally spoke his words were soft and regretful.  “Annie, for a long time after you left I was convinced you’d be back.  But when you signed yourself out of rehab, and  left no contact information, it became obvious you no longer wanted to be with me.  Whether or not I wanted to, I had to make an attempt at moving on.”

Annie covered her face.  He reached over and pulled her hands away and made her look at him.  “I never said I was an angel, Annie, but you were the only one in my heart.”