Shelf Life (8 page)

chapter fourteen

By the time I finish my chores, it’s ten minutes to six. “Going to pick up Lindsey!” I call before bolting out the door. Instead of being dusk, the sun is still high above the horizon, a sure sign that summer’s here. Bennie comes running from behind the barn and nudges my hand with her nose. “Hop in, fur ball.” She easily makes the leap from the ground onto the seat, settling into her usual spot on the passenger side. Her wet nose leaves marks on the glass. “Yes, I’ll roll down the window. You’re so demanding.”

Tongue lolling out the side of her mouth, I swear her doggy lips pull back into a goofy grin. It always makes me smile, too, so with a pat between the ears, we head out onto the main road toward the feed mill where I hope Lindsey is waiting for me to get her. If not, then I guess there’s no friendship left to save.

Deja vu strikes as I round the last bend and the mill’s parking lot comes into view. Once again, Lindsey’s yelling at the driver of the Monte Carlo. It’s only five-fifty, so Lindsey’s shift isn’t even technically over. Her employers are pretty relaxed, but she shouldn’t be out here. I throw the Explorer into park and hop out, pausing just long enough to let Bennie out, too.

“It’s not happening. Now please, let me finish my shift. You want me to get fired? Then how’re you going to pay for your booze?” She stomps off and Mrs. Linger lets go a string of profanities. I inch my
way closer.

“Hey there, Mrs. Linger,” I say with a wobbly voice.
“Long time, no see.”

“Oh, hi Pete.
Yeah, been a while. Sorry you had to see that. Lindsey’s in one of her moods.” She laughs and fiddles with her stringy hair.

“Yeah, sure.
Anything I can do to help? I invited her over for dinner, so I can give her a lift if you’ve got somewhere to be.”

“You sure about that?
Don’t want to put your parents out.”

“Are you kidding? You know they love her. Besides, it’ll stop them from grilling me about my college classes today. I need her to run interference.”

“That’s right. Forgot you were heading up there. Lindsey wanted to go, but who else other than Old Man Unkefer would hire a girl with Lindsey’s condition? It’s safer if she stays close to home.”

Her words make me so angry I could rip out that damn hair she keeps fingering, one gray lock at a time. Lindsey had nearly a full scholarship to Kent State, just an hour away, but her mom wouldn’t let her go.

“Um, I’m going inside to help her finish up, then we’ll have dinner and I’ll bring her home before too late. That okay?”

“Sure, kid,” she says, but she’s already rummaging around the floorboard. “See
ya later.” She tosses something onto the front seat, then backs out and drives down the road, weaving first left of center, then off the shoulder.

Inside the store, Lindsey’s hauling a feed sack as big as she is from the back room over to a shelf. “How many more of those you got?”

“Twelve,” she answers. I follow her back to the storeroom, grab a bag, throw it over my shoulder, then another over the other shoulder. “Show off,” she says.

“Just helping,
Linds.”

“I know. Sorry.”

“S’okay.” We work in silence for the next few minutes, arranging stock, sweeping the floor, and counting the money in the register. When she’s done, she disappears into the back office. I click off most of the lights and wait outside. The sun’s finally touching the horizon, glowing a nice pinkish orange that reminds me of melted sherbet when Mom makes her special punch. A lightning bug flashes near my face—another sign that summer’s here. I think of the homework I still have to do tonight and I wonder for the thousandth time how I’m going to help Dad get all the crops taken care of come harvest time.

“Deep in thought?”

“Shit!” I jump a country mile.

“Deep in shit? That seems to be a theme with you.” Lindsey chuckles as she locks the front door. I’m taken aback that she’d reference something from
that night
, even if it’s just me tripping in Helen Miller’s field. Maybe it’s a sign that she’s moving on? Forgiven me? A guy can hope.

“Guess I zoned out. Sorry.”

“What were you thinking about?”

“Wondering how I’m going to get everything done for school plus help Mom and Dad around the farm.”

“Good problem to have, Pete. At least you have the opportunity to find out.”

“Right.
Sorry. Help me shove my shit-kickers in my stupid mouth?”

She laughs and looks down. “I know where those have been and so far, you haven’t said anything bad enough to warrant putting those in your mouth.”

I open the passenger side door for her and she climbs in. Bennie’s instantly on her lap. “Mmm, wash it out with soap?”

“You don’t swear nearly as much as me.”

“Kiss me to shut me up?”

“You’re pushing it, Pete. Are we going to your place or what?”

“Fine, yes, but I had to try. Mom’s making shepherd’s pie. Not sure what’s for dessert, but since you’re coming, I know she’ll make one.”

“Sweet.
Your mom is the best.”

I walk around to the driver’s side and slide in. For a moment, I stare at my hands on the steering wheel. “She’s missed you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.
Me, too.”

“Your mom’s missed you? Where
ya been?”

“You know what I meant.”

“Yeah, but can we not talk about that? I just want to pretend everything’s fine and I’m coming over for a normal dinner.”

“Sounds good to me, but I can’t promise my mom won’t grill you. She had twenty questions for me when I got home and I managed to dodge most of them, so she’ll be dying to squeeze info out of somebody today.”

From the corner of my eye, I see Bennie lick Lindsey’s face. Most girls would squeal and be grossed out, but not her. She buries her fingers in the scruff at Bennie’s neck and laughs. The two of them continue to get reacquainted while I navigate the darkening road. I want her to understand how much I’ve truly missed her, but I guess Bennie’s the only one who gets to show it without Lindsey getting all weird.

She clears her throat. “What’s Sarah up to?”

“No idea, don’t want to know.” My fingers grip the wheel until my knuckles turn white. I push the image out of my head.

“Isn’t she working this summer?”

“Nope. Supposed to be helping around the farm, but that’s doubtful.”

“And you’ve got to pick up her slack?”

“If you’ve got any suggestions on how to clone myself or go without sleep, I’m all ears.”

“They all involve illegal substances, so no.”

“Nice. Here we are.” Mom’s gone all out. The front porch light is on, there’s a basket of fresh flowers on the porch, and the smells wafting out the screen door are heavenly.

“Wow, you weren’t kidding. She really must have missed me. The flowers only come out for special guests,” Lindsey says and nudges the basket with her toe. I hold open the screen door, but grab her ponytail before she enters. Her eyes widen a fraction when I bring my face close.

“We all missed you,” I whisper. She glances down. It’s not her way to back down and I’ll admit this throws me. When she catches her lip between her teeth, I nearly kiss her right there in the doorway.

Finally, she lifts her gaze to mine. I’m no poet, but there’s a storm brewing in the slate blue. When we
were kids, it always scared me when she got quiet and looked at me with those eyes. It usually meant she was about to tear me a new one—sometimes with words, but often with fists. More than once I’ve sported a shiner from her. A little quiver runs from her head to her feet and she opens her mouth.

“Lindsey! There you are, dear. Pete, don’t pull her ponytail. For heaven’s sake, you’re not ten anymore.” With God as my witness, I decide then and there that nothing’s worse than getting cock-blocked by your mom. I’d give my left nut to have a dorm room or apartment of my own. “Come in,
dinner’s ready and Michael’s dying to see you.”

Dad’s bent over the sink, black suds dripping from his rough hands. A grin splits his face when we enter. “There’s my girl! Where
ya been, stranger?” The look on Sarah’s face when Dad calls Lindsey “my girl” is priceless. “And what the hell’s up with your brother?”

“
Dad
.”

“What? The boy practically lives here for a decade and then he stops coming over. I want to know why.”

Lindsey turns to me, confusion written on her face. “You didn’t tell them?”

“Well, no. Figured it wasn’t my place. Did you tell your mom?”

“Yesterday, but a fat lot of good that did.”

Mom slams her casserole dish onto the table so hard the silverware rattles. “Would somebody tell me what’s going on? Lindsey, start talking or this meal will get cold while we wait. That would be a darn shame, don’t you think?”

Now Sarah’s the one looking smug. She leans back in her chair, crossing her arms, while Lindsey throws her hands in the air.

“Mrs. Wilson, please don’t make me tell you. I don’t want to ruin this great dinner. I shouldn’t have accepted Pete’s invitation, and if it’s all right with you, I’m going to go home now.” She turns and takes a step toward the door, but she never gets the chance to take a second. My mom is on her like a fly on horse shit. She takes Lindsey’s hand and half drags her back toward the bedrooms. When I finally look back at him, Dad raises an eyebrow.

“Sit.”

I take my place across the table from him and he bows his head. “Dear Lord, thank you for this food and the energy and means to procure it. Thank you for this country we live in, for our family and friends, and for your guidance. Show us the righteous path in these troubled times. Amen.”

“Amen.”

The shepherd’s pie tastes the same as always, but it might as well be cardboard as Dad, Sarah and I sit in silence. Well, it’s silent except for the rhythmic squishing of Dad chewing and the occasional thumps when Sarah kicks me under the table. The clock on the wall chimes out the hour. When we’re finished eating, Sarah makes a beeline for the door, but neither Dad nor I move to take in our plates. I’m hoping Mom and Lindsey will come out of the bedroom laughing, sit down and eat and everything will be how it was, but I know deep down it’s a pipe dream. Dad stares a hole through me.

“What?”

“Nothing.”
He shrugs. “There something you want to tell me?”

“No.”

“Suit yourself.”

After ten more minutes, a door down the hall finally opens and two figures emerge. One is standing ram-rod straight. The other has her hands over her face. With each step closer, my heart beats faster until I’m sure it’ll rip a hole through my shirt. Mom stops next to my chair and motions to me to stand up.

The sound of her hand cracking across my jaw echoes in the silent kitchen, bouncing off the cabinets, the counter, the table, and wooden floor.

Chapter fifteen

I
bring my hand to my face as if it’ll tell me whether that actually just happened. Never in my life has my mom raised a hand to me. Not once.

“Peter Henry Wilson, I never thought I’d say this, but I am ashamed of you. Your father and grandfathers fought for this country, but you wouldn’t even fight for your best friend. What’s worse, you hid it. You’re eighteen now, technically a grown man. It’s time for you to act like one. If you continue to act like a spoiled baby, I’ll treat you like one. Now get out of my sight.”

“What the hell? All I did was invite Lindsey over for dinner.”

“I said, get out of my sight. I can’t look at you right now.”

Dad’s chair scrapes the floorboards as he pushes away from the table and stands. “Linda, what’s going on?”

“Our son is a coward. We failed as parents.”

“Oh?”

“Lewis was assaulted at that end-of-the-year party over at the Millers’, but Peter did nothing to stop it.
Didn’t report it. Didn’t tell us. Nothing.”

Dad crosses his thick arms. “That’s very disappointing. Better do as you’re told and get out of your mother’s sight.”

“You two are insane. And you’ve got a lot of nerve pinning this on me, Lindsey.”

“I didn’t pin anything on you! I just told her what happened. Mrs. Wilson, it’s not Pete’s fault. I’m just as much to blame as him.”

“Don’t you dare take this on yourself,” Mom says. “We raised Pete to be a gentleman, but also to be a soldier for what’s right. You told your mom, so you had more courage than him, and it’s not your fault that she did nothing about it. You and Lewis have had to deal with this all on your own.”

“We’re handling it, Mrs. Wilson. I didn’t mean to get Pete in trouble. I just needed to talk to someone about it.”

“You did the right thing, but I’m very disappointed my son was a coward. You know we would have backed you up if you were sticking up for Lewis.”

“Why are you putting all this on me? Why not march over to the
Leahers’ and call out Jay?”

“Because Jay is not my son, and he’ll get what’s coming to him. You are my responsibility.”

“I’m eighteen. Graduated from high school. I’m not your responsibility anymore.”

“No? You think that’s how it works? One flip of the calendar and suddenly you’re no longer part of this family? You will always be my responsibility, even when you get married and have a family of your own. Clearly you’ve failed to grasp that concept.”

“Are you kidding? I practically run this farm and I take college classes.”

Dad stands up straighter. “There’s a difference between working hard and taking ownership of your personal actions. You’ve got the first part down but you’ve disappointed us greatly on the second.”

I glare at the people standing in front of me and wonder where my parents went. What the hell do they want from me?

“Look, I’m not perfect. I know I screwed up by not doing something and I’ve been kicking my own ass ever since, okay?”

“But why didn’t you say something?”

Lindsey and I glance at each other. She’s got the same look in her eyes that I’m sure I do.

“I didn’t think it was my place.”

“In other words, you were a coward.”

“Whatever, Mom. I’m done with this conversation.”

“Running from your problems isn’t the answer,” she yells as I slam the door behind me.

Fucking assholes, all of them. They can go to hell for all I care. What was I supposed to do? Let Jay turn my face into ground chuck? Because that’s exactly what would’ve happened if I’d tried to stop him from doing what he did to Lewis. It was a lose-lose situation. Am I proud of it? Hell, no. Did I have a choice? Not that I can see. So why do I keep getting blamed for it? I’ll do my time on this hell-hole farm in this hell-hole town, but when I graduate, I’m out of here, and they won’t know I’m gone until they see the dust trail behind me.

***

I’m still pissed off the next day when I return to classes. I’ve had it with other people’s advice—including Evan’s words of warning about Ava. She’s blonde, she’s hot, she’s completely ignorant about who I was in high school. Fresh start.

I get to class early and once again, she’s sitting near
the front. This time, her tank top is black with metal clasps at her shoulders. It dips down just low enough to be promising but I don’t look for more than half a second. I’m not a complete chump.

“Ava, right?”
I stick out my hand. She looks at it then up at me.

“Yeah?”

“I’m Pete, just like the penguin. Can I take you out to lunch after class?”

Her right eyebrow arches while the rest of her tanned face remains perfectly still. Blue and white frosty shadow surrounds her gray eyes, while the palest pink tints her full lips. Now
those
I can’t help staring at. Finally, the barest hint of a smile draws up one side of her mouth.

“On one condition.”

“Okay.”

“Don’t tell my boyfriend.”

Boyfriend. Of course. “Sorry, I didn’t realize.”

“Are you taking back your invitation, Pete like the penguin?”

“Depends on how big your boyfriend is.”

“If he doesn’t find out, it doesn’t matter. I’ll see you after class. I’m craving pizza, by the way.”

And with that, she turns in her seat, opens her textbook, and begins to read. Clapping erupts from the back of the room. “Well done, Farm Boy!” As I saunter back and take my seat, Evan puts up his hand for a high-five.

“Shut up,” I snap, ignoring his hand.

“What? Boy like you scoring a date with a girl like her? Impressive. Plus, it’ll be highly entertaining to hear your play-by-play when it’s all over, and you know you got to spill to your brother Evan, right?”

“I don’t
got
to do anything.”

“Man, who took a
piss in your coffee this morning? What’s wrong with you?”

“None of your business.”

“It sure is my business if you’re gonna be pissy all through class. We’ve got to work together. I can’t do that if you’re breathing fire.”

“Whatever.”

“Okay listen. Yeah, I’m a little jealous, but remember this: You’re a smart guy and you don’t need to be buying what she’s selling. I wish I meant that figuratively, but I’m serious. Be careful.”

I try to pay attention to Dr. Kimmel, but my eyes keep wandering over to Ava’s toned back and the way her skin ripples over her shoulder blades. They’re not as muscular as Lindsey’s, but they’re not delicate, either. I’d give my left nut to run my hands over their smooth contours.

“Hey Romeo, it’s time for lab. Think you can tear your eyes away for an hour?”

“What?” I blink and look at Evan.

“That’s what I thought,” he says, shaking his head. “Try to concentrate. The sooner we get done with this lab, the sooner you get to have lunch with your Juliet.”

First he’s giving girl advice. Now he’s referencing Shakespeare. “That story had a bad ending.”

“You’re a quick one, Farm Boy.” Evan laughs and claps me on the back. We finish our lab in an hour, just a few minutes after Ava finishes hers. I hope she’s waiting for me, but I know the chances are slim. I mean, really, what was I thinking? She’s totally out of my league, not that I have a league to begin with. Sure, I thought maybe Lindsey and I had a chance, but…dammit. Lindsey. Why does she always have to pop into my head and ruin everything? Even after turning traitor last night, she’s still under my skin. Probably more now than ever. I don’t understand how things could change so much in just two weeks.

But that’s just it. Things have changed, and I need to as well. Lunch with Ava is a step in the right direction. I clean up my stuff in record time, throw my books into my backpack, and check my wallet to make sure I’ve got enough money for lunch for two. Evan laughs and waves me out the door.

“I want a full report,” he says.

“Be sure to hold your breath.”

Turns out there’s no need. She’s not outside the door or in the hallway. Gone. I kick the wall and shove open the front door of the building. For a second, the sun blinds me, but while I have my arm over my eyes, I hear her voice.