She's Only Seventeen: A Novel of Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll (2 page)

“But you haven’t”

“No, and I don’t intend to. You’re wasting your life. I’d rather you get an education, do something with yourself,” he explained

“Please Gary, this is what I want!”

In the end, Gary did not force me to go back to school.

He also listened to
Neptune
play.

Thomas—

December 1980

“So what do you think?” I asked Gary.

Gary… I couldn’t believe
he
was here, in my living space! I had been listening to his stuff for… before I could even remember! And now he was here standing right across from me.

He ignored my question of course.

“I didn’t know you could sing, Kat,” he beamed at her. She just kind of smiled and blushed, slightly acknowledging that this influential musician had just complimented her. Of course she had been around these types of people all her life, I remembered.

He turned to me, “I’m gonna let the guy who runs my record company listen to you, see if we can strike up a deal.”

I sighed with relief; “thank you so much” I went to shake his hand. He shook it carelessly and whispered, “I’m only doing this because of her, and you know that right?”

I shook my head yes.

He nodded his head to me once more before turning back to Kat.

January 1981

Gary invited me to lunch with him after one of our rehearsals. I sat across from him in a tiny booth in the city, where he ordered us burgers. However, I could hardly manage to eat, for my excitement could not be contained.

“I have good news for you, Kat”

I looked up, my mouth full of burger, anticipating the news.

“He’s gonna sign you and
Neptune,
” Gary confirmed.

I stared at him, my mouth slightly gaping. “You’re serious?”

He sat, unsmiling, just nodding.

Giggling aloud I got up and threw my arms around him. “You’re the best, they’ll be so happy…” My words mashed together.

“Relax” he laughed, pushing me away. “Look he’s going to want to talk to you about shows and other gigs when he meets with you guys so you have to be prepared, don’t just say yes to anything….”

Gary lectured me for the next twenty minutes, but I hardly heard him.
Neptune
was going to have a record.

Thomas—

January 1981

“I have to tell you something,” Kat came right into my room and sat pretty on my bed. I looked up at her from my magazine, “what?” I asked.

“Gary told me that his record guy wants to sign us.”

I got up from the position was I laying and tacked her. She laughed underneath me. Looking down at her, I brushed her stray hairs out of her face. “We’re gonna do this, we’re really going to do this!” I said. She nodded wildly in agreement.

“Have you told anyone else?”

“Not yet.”

I quickly got up and went into the hallway where I shouted to James and Ian. I don’t think any of us had ever been that happy before.

Kat—

June 1981

The last six months had been hectic. It was gig after gig. We had a growing fan base, half actually enjoying our music and of course, half just came to see me, Pete Crowne’s daughter, much to my disappointment. I was only fourteen, but I had begun something bigger than I could have ever imagined. Gary helped us out a lot, introducing us to other bands. One in particular,
Arctic Circle
was one of my favorites. Gary had introduced me to their guitarist Shane at one of our gigs. I had previously had a childish crush on him and had been most excited to meet him in person. Although he was a notorious womanizer, he was one of the best looking men I had ever seen.
Arctic Circle
was from the same area of New York as Gary, and the two bands had toured together once or twice. Gary promised me that he’d get me on tour with them.

“Shane likes you guys”, he said, “He’ll get his manager, Roy.”

I awaited the response with butterflies.

Gary
-

August 1981

“She’s fourteen, Shane” I said, putting down my beer right on the table. It was my fourth tonight, and god knows where the damned coaster had gone.

“Well she can sing, that’s all I can about. I want them on tour with us, to open. I think they’ll help us, her being Pete’s daughter and all…”

“Don’t use that or I won’t even consider letting her.”

Shane cocked his eye brow at me, “I’m just saying, its business.”

“Sure it is. You just talk to Roy okay?” I confirmed, knowing the twenty four year old was probably beyond tipsy now.

“You know I will, how could I not?” Shane smiled, raising his glass. “To
Neptune
!”

“To
Neptune
” I repeated.

And to Kat.

Kat

November 1981

I turned fifteen on a Saturday. Waking up, I found Thomas in my room, sitting on the edge of my bed.

“I was wondering how long you’d sleep for,” he stated

“You’re a creep, get out,” I threw a pillow at him playfully. He threw it right back at me, holding my arms down so that I couldn’t retaliate. He would be sixteen next month and his long boyish body had begun to fill out. His shoulders seemed broader than I had remembered. I felt warmness in my lower stomach that seemed so foreign to me. His body above me, holding half of his weight, brought about something in me that I couldn’t quite describe. I think he felt it too, his smile faded and he sat up away from me.

“I got this for you,” he said, standing up handing me a gold and black scarf out of his pocket

“Thanks!” I got up and wrapped it around my microphone stand I had in my room.

“You’re supposed to wear it,” he said grimly

“I will, on here, it can be my...” I paused, “good luck charm”

I came back and sat with him.

“So what are we doing?” I asked brightly.

“Whatever you’d like” he responded sitting down next to me.

“Ice cream, I want ice cream.” We both fell into laughter then, like the children that we still were, uncertain about so many things.

Thomas

November 1981

The feeling which had come over me was unlike any I had experienced before. When my body had pressed against her, I felt myself stir. I had not looked at her that way before; she was just a friend, a beautiful friend… I noticed her body changing and the way she acted around James. She flirted with him. Did she flirt with me? I watched her as she licked her ice cream cone, her eyes on me. I could feel myself responding again and had to look away from her.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, putting her hand on my thigh.

“Nothing,” I answered

She raised her eyebrows and gave me a small smile before going back to her cone.

I had to put my thoughts aside and focus on something else. Before I had the chance to, I watched in horror as her ice cream dripped into her breasts, running down the small crease between them.

“Oops!” she exclaimed, grabbing for a napkin.

I couldn’t move, my body was unfamiliarly ridged.

She wiped herself off with the napkins and looked over at me.

‘What?” she asked.

I realized my mouth was gaping, the bulge in my pants probably noticeable as I shifted uncomfortably.

“I’m ready to go,” she quipped, “Are you?”

“Yeah, I… yeah”

She stood up, flashing a bit of her flat stomach as she put on her coat. It wasn’t helping the situation.

“Come on,” she said turning to leave.

I wrapped my coat around me and stood up to follow her. I had to stop thinking.

“So I wrote something and I want you to listen to it,” she said, taking my arm.

“Oh yeah?” I asked, thankful she was drawing my attention away.

“Yes, I figured we could….” He voice faded away as I stared at her, what was wrong with me?

Kat

December 1981

Our first solo tour was hard. Although we only had a few local areas, it was a lot of getting used to, especially sleeping on the tour buses with the guys next to me. Things that used to be private were no more and boundaries were crossed but we made it through that year. Our next mission was to capture the world as we have America. I don’t know why they loved me so much. I mean, I was a great singer and
Neptune
was something different but I truly believe it was because I was my father’s daughter. The rock icon he was and the tragic death he had died had left his mark on the world. Before there were people like Kurt Cobain who died tragically young from suicide also, there was my father. December of 1981 was a life changing year for me. I finally got my long dreaded period and was now a woman. The guys teased me about it but it had its perks. My once flat chest began to bud and I began to develop.

March 1982

“God, you’re so beautiful, Kat,” I told her as she sat beside me on the couch. Ian was in his room and Thomas had gone out so I had taken a moment to talk to her.

She blushed at my compliment and bit her bottom lip nervously.

“Tom should be back soon,” she stated

“Yeah, then I guess he wants us to practice.”

She nodded, “He does for sure, I’m excited,” she said, turning fully to me and smiling, “Are you?”

“Of course,” I responded.

We sat there in silence.

“You know he wants you,” I let out

“Who? Tom?” she asked as her eyes widened.

When I smiled, her eyebrows rose and she sat straight on the couch.

“No, he doesn’t, we’re just friends,” she stated as if she was trying to make herself believe it.

I chuckled to myself; she gave me a sharp look.

How naive she was.

Gary

July 1982

“Kathryn!”

“What?” she spurred around to face me

“I’m trying to talk to you.”

“God, what?” she asked frustrated

I handed her a small bag

“What’s this?”

“Birth control,” I murmured awkwardly

“Ew,” she said looking disgusted

“Take them, seriously, you’re going on tour and you don’t know what could happen, just be safe,” I explained

“Fine,” she said under her breath

She was still such a stranger to me.

Thomas
-

August 1982

We signed the tour with
Arctic Circle’s
manager, Roy in July of 82’. Come August, we were packing our things and getting ready to go. Kat seemed older than her 15 years. She had begun talking and joking about sex with James and Ian, which honestly drove me crazy with jealousy. She tried to make herself seem more experienced than she was. I knew she was a virgin, she had never even been kissed, but the way she had flirted, the way she had flaunted her sleek body in front of this older, more experienced band, gave a different impression. Let
Arctic Circle
think what they wanted about her.

“Thomas, are you still a virgin,” she asked me suddenly a couple days before we were to leave.

I turned quickly to her, “Why would you ask me that?”

“Cause… I don’t know… you know I am…” she said softly, her arms behind her back as she looked down at her feet nervously. .

I couldn’t help but laugh at her.

“What?” her voice rose as her eyes snapped up tome, her lips unsmiling.

“Yeah, whatever Kat, if you gotta know.”

“So you are?”

“Yeah,” I confirmed.

She nodded in acknowledgement with a crooked smile on her face.

“Why?” I pressed her.

She sat down on the edge of my bed, “I don’t want to be a virgin when I go on tour”, she said casually.

I felt my legs weaken with that unfamiliar emotion I had felt months ago, “Kat, we leave in two days…”

“I know,” she said softly, cutting me off. She took a breath, “I know, that’s why I want you… you know…do it.”

I could feel my jaw begin to drop, but quickly regained my composure. “Kat… I… you really want to?”

“I would not have asked if I didn’t want to….”

“I know but… why me”

“I trust you, Thomas, and… who knows… it could be fun?” she smiled nervously at me.

“If I agree to this Kat, that’s it, it’s just a onetime thing, we can’t… I mean, you know… risk this opportunity...”

“I understand, Tom, I promise, no drama.”

“Fine, I’ll do it.”

She squealed in delight and threw her arms around me.

“When?” I asked.

“Now?”

Kat

August 1982

I was sure he wanted to do this just as much as I did. As soon as I said the word “now”, he had become a different person.

He sat beside me, and nervously took my right hand in his.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked.

My head hardly shook “yes” before his lips touched mine.

I had never been kissed before, but it seemed almost natural as we moved our lips together in a slow rhythm. His arms came around me as he pulled himself over my body. My hand found itself behind his neck as I stroked his hair. He pulled his face away from mine and fingered the bottom of my shirt. “Take this off,” he whispered. I did as I was told, as he mirrored my movement. I then began to remove my other articles of clothing until I was left in just my bra and panties. His eyes never left me as I walked over and lay down on his bed. His shirt still in his hand, he quickly threw off his pants in a pile on the floor. He then lay awkwardly beside me. It was different this time, his body being so close with less layers of clothing blocking our bodies. His lips fell onto my neck and slowly the tops of my breast. I pushed him away instinctively.

“What? Do you want to stop?” he asked.

“No, I just… here let me just take it off.”

His eyes widened at the sight of my nearly nude body.

“Do you want to get under the covers?” he asked. I nodded.

Once under, Thomas’ hand found my bare breast. Shivers went through me as I kept my lips on his. When his hand trailed down my stomach and slipped into my underwear, I again pulled away. “If you’re going to keep pushing me away, then I don’t want to do this”, he stated, removing his hand entirely.

“No, it’s okay… come here,” I pleaded, grabbing his hand and placing it at my waist.

He kissed me again, rolling his body between my legs so I could feel his arousal. Fire shot through my body the second his fingers brushed my most intimate parts.

“Do it, please”, I begged.

Thomas sat up and pulled off my remaining garment so that I lay naked on the bed. His smile told me he was satisfied with what he saw.

“Take those off,” I said pointing at his boxers.

“Fine”

He pulled them off, revealing himself to me. My reaction must have scared him because his voice got soft and he told me it was okay. I didn’t feel fear, just an overwhelming sense of curiosity to touch this foreign part of him.

“Can I touch it?” I questioned stupidly.

He took my hand and placed it on him.

At my touch his mouth opened slightly and his breathing quickened. I giggled, causing him to look down at me. “What… what’s funny?” he questioned. I didn’t answer him, I didn’t need to. He had positioned himself, ready to enter me. “You ready?” he asked. I nodded “yes”, giving him the go to thrust into my core. My head threw back in a small, hardly repressed scream. He froze. “Do you want me to stop?” his voice shook. My eyes focused on his concerned face as I moved my hips tentatively against him in response. He began to move in me. My whole body seemed tense; I couldn’t get enough of him.

“Kat, I’m... I’m gonna, I’m sorry...” he trailed off, slamming his body hard against me, gasping for air. He seemed so weak lying on top of me, breathing heavily. I let him lay there, with my hands stroking his shoulder blades. Finally he looked down at me.

“Was it good? Was that what you wanted?”

“Yes,” I responded.

“I’m sorry it didn’t last that long, next time...”

“One time, Thomas,” I reminded him, cutting him off.

“Yeah… yeah, I know,” he slowly entangled himself from me and lay beside me again. “I didn’t pull out, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” I assured him. “Gary put me on birth control last month.”

“I didn’t know that…”

I smiled to myself; I was ready to join the adult world.

Thomas

August 1982

Things weren’t much different between Kat and me as I thought they would have been. She acted the same way around me and I, well I tried to act the same as I had before. In truth, it was hard to. I was halfway in love with her. Every time she came close to me, I had to stop myself from kissing her, from touching her, and even then my body tried to betray me. I couldn’t concentrate. Packing the rest of my things for this tour had been a nightmare. I should have felt excited, but instead, I felt something else, something I couldn’t exactly describe. As soon as we got to the hotel, Kat was ecstatic. She put on a bunch of make up to make herself look older and wore the tightest jeans she had. When she told me she was ready to go meet with
Arctic Circle
, I had to stop myself from telling her to change. Gary had warned me before we left to watch her, but I couldn’t be the one to tell her anything at the moment.

Shane

August 1982

Neptune
entered our studio right on time. Kat came right up to me, her confidence made me warm towards her instantly. I thought she looked older than her fifteen years and much older than when I had seen her over a year ago. “Let’s start running the playlist,” I suggested, adverting my attention away from her. As soon as I began to ignore her, I could see the other members of
Arctic Circle
taking this as a queue that she was free game. My focus wasn’t supposed to be on a fifteen year old, my focus was on the music, it didn’t even mater that she was Pete Crowne’s daughter; this was a business, as Gary had said, and we had a contract.

Kat

August 1982

Seeing
Arctic Circle
for the first time in a year was an experience for me in itself. Shane was of middle height with dark coloring, his voice was low and he mumbled a lot, yet he was warm and welcoming, someone I could instantly like. Next we were introduced to the other members of the band. Thomas, James and Ian all got along with the guys instantly. I sat aback studying each member. Their guitarist, Drew looked like one of those fairy tale princes with his long blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes. Tall, but not too tall his build was skinny yet not that sexy athletic like Shane’s had been. Shane and Drew led us into the body of the studio where the rest of the band was. Sitting on the couch by an old television was Brian the vocalist. He was the shortest member of the band and his light brown hair gleamed in the lighting of the room. Alex was the drummer and then there was Nick the bassist. I was nervous while meeting all of them but soon shed my shell and was laughing and joking with everyone else. I found myself drawn to Brian initially because of his fun, loving nature and ability to put me at ease. But then I found myself falling head over heels for Drew. I had heard much about Drew before I met him. Like my father before him and like the other members of
Arctic Circle
, he was a notorious lover of women. I knew at almost sixteen, my chances with him were pretty slim, especially with him being close to twenty four, but still, I was captivated by him. Thomas had been acting like a fool around me ever since we had slept together, but I had made sure not to let myself want him. He had said it, “once” and although it had hurt, my heart had hardened. He was way more of a friend to me anyway to be anything more.

Brian

October 1982

“Kat, come over here!” I shouted to her from across the room. She walked over excitedly and sat beside me.

“What can I do for you, sir?” she joked.

Our bands had been on tour together for two months and the initial nervousness between us all had worn off. Kat would be sixteen in November, less than a month away and I at twenty-four, didn’t believe it too much of an age difference, and so I expressed interest in her. None of the other members of
Arctic Circle
had moved in on her, so I figured I would try her out. The only problem was getting her away from Thomas. He watched her like a hawk. Sure he was a friendly guy, but he was overly protective of her. I guess I couldn’t blame him. If I had a friend that good looking I would be protective too.

“What do you think about me and you ditching this party?” I suggested.

Her eyes widened, “and do what?”

I could tell she was a little tipsy. After every show, all of us got together back at the hotel and drank, smoked whatever.

“Can’t tell you,” I responded coming closer to her.

She giggled and got up. “Another time, I promise,” she assured me, as she leaned in to plant a kiss on my cheek.

“
Fucking cocktease”,
I whispered under my breath.

Thomas

November 1982

Kat turned finally sixteen that November. She didn’t want to do much for her birthday which surprised me, seeming how excited she had been about the whole thing. We even asked her if she wanted to come out to the bar with us, Shane had suggested that we would sneak her in. She declined this also. We all ended up going without her, leaving her to nap in the hotel room, just as she wanted. Drew stayed with her, claiming he
“didn’t want to drink tonight.”
Yeah and I have two heads. Drew was a mess. He was always with a different woman, always drinking, and most always looking for some way to get him known. Kat thought him something special. She had barely spoken to him, yet she told me she felt like she
“had known him all her life.”
I knew exactly why he was choosing to stay behind with her, and everyone, but Kat, realized it too.