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Authors: Em Bailey

BOOK: Shift
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I nodded, my eyes still on Cameron. I was pretty sure I knew who he was looking for, and when his face suddenly began to sparkle I followed his gaze. Miranda had arrived. And it wasn’t
just Cameron who turned to look. We all did. Almost like we had no say in it.

‘Hi, Miranda,’ said Cameron, stepping forward and holding out his hand. Like he was a prince. ‘You look …’ He stopped. Because silence described how Miranda looked,
better than any word could. In any language.

I found myself remembering how Miss Falippi had told us about the Sirens. How they sang songs that were irresistible to the sailors, who would wreck their ships and die because they were so
desperate to get closer to the music. Although Miranda wasn’t actually singing anything, I could sort of feel the pull myself – like an undertow.

Miss Falippi. I realised I hadn’t thought about her for ages. I’d heard a rumour the cops were going after her for drug possession, but I didn’t hear what happened. She’d
resigned without ever coming back.

Somehow Lachlan walked up without me seeing him until he was right there, totally unavoidable. Ami – my supposed friend – not only failed to warn me, but had now completely
disappeared.

‘Hey.’ Lachlan was smiling – and not in a ‘so you came anyway’ way or a ‘what the hell are you wearing?’ way. He just looked pleased. Pleased to see me
there.

I’d thought about what to do, of course, if this situation arose. Make an excuse and get away from him as quickly as possible. No chatting. No getting dazzled by his pretend flirting.

‘Oh. Hi,’ I said. ‘I was just …’

But for some reason I forgot all my pre-planned excuses and felt this weird little quiver in my stomach – probably because I hadn’t eaten much dinner. Groping around for something to
say I noticed Lachlan’s outfit - an old-fashioned suit, in pristine condition, and the funniest shirt I’d ever seen.

‘Where did your shirt came from? It’s so lush.’

Lachlan eyed me cautiously. ‘Does
lush
mean “something a wonk would wear?”’

‘No. I really like it,’ I said. ‘It’s so … ruffly!’

‘It was the ruffliest in the entire formal-hire shop,’ he reported proudly.

‘I like your jacket too,’ I said.

Lachlan stroked one of the lapels. ‘This belonged to my Grandpa.’

‘So you decided to skip the whole beach theme huh?’

‘No, I’ve got this.’ Lachlan fished out something hanging around his neck – a large, hooked tooth, threaded onto a piece of leather. ‘This was my Pa’s too. He
told me he’d pulled it from the mouth of a live shark.’

I laughed. ‘How long did you believe that?’

‘Way too long,’ Lachlan admitted. ‘Especially as it’s got this on it.’ He turned the shark’s tooth over and pointed out the writing on the back.
Made in
China.
‘By the time I realised it wasn’t true it didn’t matter.’

‘He sounds interesting,’ I heard myself say, even though I was breaking my own rules.
It doesn’t hurt to be nice to the new guy, Olive
, I imagined Ami saying.

‘He was … someone who didn’t like to swim between the flags, I guess.’ Lachlan squinted at me. ‘You remind me of him, actually.’

My instinct was to crack a gag.
I remind you of an old man? Maybe I should use a better moisturiser.
But even I could see that he hadn’t meant it that way. My mouth was dry. I
imagined again what Ami would say.
Get it together, Olive.

‘The trouble with avoiding the flags is you end up like this,’ I managed to croak, pointing to the shark bite in my dress. The way Lachlan’s gaze brushed over me made my
exposed skin turn to goose-pimples, despite the blazing heat of the hall.

‘I guess that’s why it’s good to have your own personal lifesaver around,’ he said. ‘Watching out for you.’

A new song started playing. Lachlan tilted his head. ‘Come and dance?’ he said. Casually. Like it was possible I’d say yes.

‘It’s such a wonkish song,’ I said weakly.

‘I’m a wonkish dancer.’ There was something very determined about him. ‘Come on.’

So hopefully that explains how I ended up dancing at my school formal – or at least as much as it’s possible to explain something so unexpected. But here’s the really strange
part. Once I’d calmed down a bit, I started to enjoy myself. Lachlan wasn’t such a bad dancer after all. He lost himself in the music – moving about in this cute, happy way, his
long limbs flopping around. And he didn’t do that other thing that some people do, where they spend the whole time checking if there’s someone better they should be dancing with.
Lachlan looked at me. Only at me.

When the song finished he took hold of my hand and held it like it was something very precious. His eyes were soft. ‘Stay for another song?’ he said.

That’s when I heard it. People nearby, snickering. I knew what it meant. I wrenched my hand away, angry with myself for being so stupid.

‘Hey,’ said Lachlan. ‘What’s wrong?’

I glared at him, my throat aching. ‘Have you won your bet yet?’ I said, my voice hard and fierce. ‘The one you made about dancing with the ugliest girl at the
formal?’

‘What are you talking about?’ he said, looking horrified. ‘I –’

I cut him off. ‘Isn’t it embarrassing, being seen with me? Even as a joke.’

‘Olive.
Stop.
’ There was something in Lachlan’s voice that made me pause, just for a moment. He looked so serious. ‘Why would I be embarrassed about dancing with
you? You’re the most amazing, most beautiful, most …
real
person in this whole school.’

I had to look away then. The ground was covered in gold glitter. I guess it was meant to look like sand. ‘Sometimes I don’t feel real,’ I said, hating how pathetic it
sounded.

‘Well maybe you’re
un
real then,’ said Lachlan softly. ‘Which is probably why I want to kiss you.’

Usually you can rely on your body to do the basic things on its own. But right then my body totally forgot about respiration. I had to gulp at the air, trying to get the process started again. I
don’t know if someone was messing around with the heating, but suddenly it was even hotter than before in that hall. Hot, bright and way too full.

‘I need to go outside,’ I wheezed. Thank god my legs remembered what they were for. I ran.

It was the darkness as much as the cool breeze that helped me control the swirling, tumbling feeling in my chest. I slowed to a walk and a moment later I heard Lachlan running
to catch up. He didn’t speak, just fell into step beside me. Silently we moved away from the crowd out the front who were laughing and smoking furtively in the shadows.

I turned down the path that ran along the side of the town hall. The unpainted bricks were exposed and rough along here and I stopped, leaning my face against them, cold and solid on my cheek.
Lachlan stopped too, just behind me. I watched a tiny spider – smaller than a raindrop – making a web in the gap between two bricks. It had probably taken it all night to create that
web and I could’ve destroyed it with the tiniest movement of my finger. The spider too.

‘I freaked you out, didn’t I?’ said Lachlan. ‘With that kissing thing.’

‘No,’ I lied. ‘I just wasn’t expecting it. I don’t really
know
you. I mean, I’ve had maybe three conversations with you in my life.’

‘Well yeah.’ Lachlan’s smile was small, but so sweet. ‘They’ve been three good conversations though, don’t you reckon?’

I didn’t answer.
Lachlan wants to kiss you.
I said it over and over in my head – like it was a foreign phrase that I couldn’t quite translate.

Lachlan leant against the wall too, face turned towards mine. ‘Why can’t you believe me that I like you?’ he said. ‘That I want to hang out with you?’

My head began to throb. ‘Lachlan,’ I said. ‘I can’t. I just can’t.’

‘Can’t what?’ said Lachlan. ‘Hang out or believe me?’

Noise from the town hall filtered down to us, louder and then softer as the wind changed direction. There was laughing and cheering. It sounded a lifetime away.

Lachlan turned his face up towards the sky. ‘Sometimes you seem to like me,’ he said, ‘and then you jump away, like you’re scared I’ll bite. I don’t get it.
Is there something wrong?’

Yeah there’s something freakin wrong,
I thought.
Something wrong with me.
And I couldn’t accept that Lachlan didn’t know that, especially as he must have heard
about my history by now. He should be running away as fast as he could before I wrecked his life just like I’d wrecked my family’s.

But Lachlan didn’t move. He just stood there beside me and I realised he was waiting for a response. I turned and looked at him. It was time to be honest. ‘We don’t
match.’

Lachlan’s forehead wrinkled with surprise. ‘
Match?
Who says we have to? We’re not shoes.’

‘But we’re so different,’ I said, trying to find a way of explaining it. ‘You’re a swimmer. You probably train all the time. And if you’re not swimming
you’re probably off doing something else
active
and
sporty
. I bet you go nuts sitting inside for more than five minutes and you love nothing more than hanging out at the
beach.’ I knew I sounded blunt but maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing, even though it was hard to look at him as I spoke. Now let’s compare that with me, OK? I like hanging around
on my own, listening to music no-one else has heard of and dreaming of the day I can get away from the ocean forever. Be honest, Lachlan. Do we
sound
like a good combination?’

Lachlan was quiet for a long time and I wondered if he was waiting for me to leave. But eventually he spoke. ‘OK then. Who
do
I match?’

‘Someone
cute
,’ I said promptly. ‘Someone sweet and pretty who’ll mind your towel and cheer for you while you swim. Someone who says
ohmigod
all the time
and who covers her mouth when she laughs in case she’s got food in her teeth. Someone smooth and knot-free.’

Lachlan looked bemused. ‘What’s wrong with knots? They keep things together sometimes.’

I ignored this, not wanting to break the flow of my description. The words came easily because I was describing someone I knew. Someone I used to be. Pretended to be, at least.
‘She’s perky and chatty and involved in everything. She talks about you as
my beautiful swimming star
and constantly raves about your latest successes.’

Lachlan made a strange noise then. I stopped and stared. ‘You’re
laughing
?’

‘Sorry,’ said Lachlan, ‘but this chick sounds kind of irritating. And … fake.’

He was right, of course. The old Olive
was
fake. That was why I’d finally knocked her off. The new Olive was hard and broken, but at least she was real. But she wasn’t the
sort of person I thought Lachlan would want to kiss.

‘What about you?’ said Lachlan. ‘What kind of
shoe
do you match?’

Truthfully? I suspected that there wasn’t anyone out there for me, a bloated, ex-mental-patient family-wrecker. And, as Ami had pointed out, most of the people I liked were about as
unavailable as it is possible to be. As in dead. Or fictitious. But I wanted to give Lachlan an answer. One that didn’t leave me looking quite so tragic.

‘Dallas Kaye,’ I blurted. ‘He’s the lead singer of Luxe.’

Lachlan gave me the strangest look then, like I’d just said something that really disappointed him. ‘Yeah,’ he muttered. ‘I know who he is.’

Lachlan stepped away from the wall then, the gravel crunching beneath his shoes. Old-fashioned ones, I noticed, lovingly polished. Probably also his Grandpa’s. Looking at them I had a
sudden image of Lachlan cleaning those shoes earlier this evening and the thought of it made my insides crinkle up.

‘I guess I see things differently,’ he said. ‘I don’t think people are like some board game that you can only play one way. And I’m kind of surprised that you
do.’

My stomach crunched again as Lachlan shoved his hands deep in the pockets of his jacket and turned away.

‘Hang on, Lachlan,’ I said. ‘Wait. Don’t be dumb about this.’ I knew it made no sense. All this time I’d spent trying to convince him to leave me alone and
now that he was going I was holding him back.

Lachlan stopped. Turned to face me. His expression was so cool that I could hardly stand looking at him. ‘The thing is, right now I
feel
like being dumb about it,’ he said,
swinging away from me again. A moment later he stalked off around the corner.

I stood where I was, longing for some kind of natural disaster to occur. An earthquake maybe. A hurricane. Anything to distract me from the way I was feeling. To break the icy silence that was
closing in around me.

And then something did happen. Someone screamed.

 

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