Shift (17 page)

‘I said you were away because you had glandular, you
idiot.
The only reason everyone avoids you now is because you act like a pain in the arse who’s too good for us.’
Katie crossed her thin arms, and I saw the blue veins beneath her papery skin. ‘So why the hell should I trust you now, about Miranda, when you’ve obviously never trusted me?’

The hum of the air conditioner had triggered an echo in my brain. I could feel it, high and insistent like a mosquito. I massaged my temples with the heels of my hand, trying to get things
straight. If Katie was telling the truth, and
nobody
at school knew about what had happened, then not even Lachlan knew. So his interest had been genuine. And maybe I’d completely
screwed things up with the one guy at school who was decent and lovely. I felt a cold hand squeezing my heart, but I had to put all thoughts of him out my mind. I had to focus.

Of course, things with Katie weren’t that straightforward. Our friendship had been shattering in slow motion for a long time before Dad left, and before I did what I did. But what could I
say to her now that wouldn’t just make everything a whole lot worse? Did she really want to hear how I felt like I’d been forcing myself into a badly-fitting friendship? How I’d
started to despise all the things she was interested in, and only pretended to care so I wouldn’t upset her? And how when Dad left, it just exploded inside me and I couldn’t pretend any
more? I figured that these were things she didn’t need to hear. Especially now.

‘I’m sorry, Katie,’ I said. ‘Things were really … screwy for me then. I know I was a bad friend and I know you’re pissed off. It’s just …’

Katie watched as I struggled to think of an explanation. ‘I guess I was jealous of you,’ I said, and it was partly true. I’d been jealous of how easy her life was.

Katie’s eyes opened wide with disbelief. ‘You were jealous of
me
?’ she said. ‘That’s crazy. You’re the smart one. The funny one. The cool one. The one
everyone liked. Even …’ Katie pushed up her knees under the sheets and hugged them. ‘I sometimes got the feeling that even Cam had a thing for you.’ She laughed, embarrassed.
‘I was always so scared he’d dump me and chase after you instead.’

I felt a pang of pity for Katie, and another feeling too. Regret.

Maybe I could have handled things better with her. Maybe I’d been too quick to give up on our friendship. There were things that Katie and I needed to talk about. But not now. There was
other stuff – life and death stuff – to deal with. I had to make her promise to cut Miranda off.

I reached over and squeezed her hand. ‘I’m so sorry, Katie. About everything. I know it’s hard but you have to trust me on this. Miranda is
really
dangerous and
you’re her number one target at the moment. You have to stay away from her. Please tell me she’s on your “no visits” list.’

Katie’s hand suddenly gripped onto mine, tense and surprisingly strong.

‘What’s wrong?’

Katie had frozen – even her breathing seemed to have halted. Her head was turned slightly to one side, listening. I listened too but at first all I picked up was the food trolley,
squeaking its way around from room to room. Then I heard two people talking as they walked down the corridor, coming closer.

I recognised the nurse’s voice straight away. When I was here, she was the one who always seemed to be in a foul mood. She’d walk into your room and sigh, like you were keeping her
from what she’d rather be doing. She had one of those stern faces that seemed incapable of cracking a smile – even a fake one. But I could hear her laughing and chatting in an
über-friendly way.

‘She’ll be so pleased to see you,’ I heard her saying as she came closer. ‘And you’ll be helping so much too.’

‘It’s no problem,’ the other person replied. ‘I
want
to help – she’s my best friend after all.’

I knew who it was. Someone who sounded exactly how Katie used to sound.

Katie knew too. Her bony fingers hooked into my arm. ‘Don’t let her in,’ she whispered. ‘Please. She can’t see me like this.’

I pulled away from Katie’s grip and stood up. ‘Don’t worry. I’ll sort it out.’ I walked towards the door like I had some sort of plan, when
actually I had no idea what to do. Throw myself up against the door or fling it open and wrestle Miranda to the ground? And then what? Call the police?
Arrest this girl immediately. She’s
a personality thief. A shapeshifter.

I reached for the door handle – maybe planning to walk out and confront Miranda in the corridor – but as I took hold, I felt it turn beneath my hand. Then the door pushed open,
sweeping me to one side, and there was Miranda. I jumped in front of her, blocking the entrance, standing close enough to feel her breath against my skin – cold and with no scent.
Snow-breath
, I thought, shivering.

‘Olive,’ she said. ‘How totally not surprising to see you. Move it. I’m here to see Katie.’

I stayed put. ‘She doesn’t want to see you.’ My legs were tensed and ready but I didn’t really know what for. I’d never confronted someone like Miranda. A
shifter.

‘Don’t be stupid,’ snapped Miranda, pushing past me with surprising strength. Her thick hair flicked into my face. ‘Katie is my friend. My
best
friend. Of course
she wants to see me.’

Katie’s hands fluttered up to cover her face. ‘I’m sorry, Miranda. I look so terrible.’

‘Katie!’ I knew it was bad to yell at someone who was so weak, but this was beyond frustrating. ‘Don’t apologise. It’s her freakin fault you’re in this
state.’

Katie’s crying grew louder. She pushed back the covers and scuttled into the bathroom, clicking the lock behind her.

Miranda didn’t try to stop her. Didn’t even glance her way. She was watching me instead – her mouth smiling but her eyes still and cold. ‘It’s
my
fault, is
it?’ she said.

I jumped as someone came up behind me and put their hand on my arm. It was Ami. She gave me a reassuring squeeze. ‘Don’t let her psych you out,’ she murmured. I hadn’t
seen her arrive but I was so glad she was there.

Having Ami there made me feel a thousand times better. ‘I know what you’re doing to Katie,’ I told Miranda, pleased by how strong I sounded. ‘All those wonks at school
might be blind to your crap, but I’m not. I watched what you did – pulling her apart bit by bit while you pretended to be her friend.’

Miranda flicked her hand dismissively. ‘You know what your mistake is? You’ve been listening to Katie and taking her seriously. Her brain has been starved. She’s completely
paranoid. Delusional. You
of all people
should know something about that.’

My head had begun to pound.

‘Don’t listen to her,’ whispered Ami. ‘We are right about this. We need to tell Katie what we know.’

The door opened and a nurse appeared. The cranky one. ‘What’s going on?’ she said, glowering at the empty bed. ‘Where’s Katie?’

‘She’s locked in the bathroom because
she
upset her.’ Miranda pointed at me. ‘She should leave.’

‘
Me?
I’m not the one Katie’s terrified of,’ I shot back. I was shaking – from anger – but I knew it made me look scared. ‘
You’re
the
one who should go.’

‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ said the nurse crisply. ‘Miranda is part of the recovery team. She has volunteered to sit with Katie during all her meals and encourage her to eat.
She’s Katie’s healthy-weight role model.’

That left me unable to speak. How could anyone mistake Miranda for a role model?

The nurse checked the clock. ‘It’s Katie’s meal time now. You’ll have to go.’

‘No. I won’t,’ I said. The nurse brought the stubborn child out in me. Ami gave me the thumbs up.

‘No-one is considering how Katie feels,’ said Miranda, ‘Let’s ask her what
she
wants.’ She walked over to the bathroom door and knocked on it firmly.
‘Hon?’ Miranda’s voice was gentle. Soft enough to stroke. ‘Come on. Open up.’

There was a long pause, then finally the sound of the lock being turned. A moment later Katie stood in the doorway – a greyish silhouette against the ultra-bright light of the
bathroom.

Miranda reached over and lightly touched Katie’s arm, making all the tiny hairs instantly rise. ‘Do you want me to leave?’ she said. ‘Because if you do, just say and
I’ll go,’ she snapped her fingers, ‘like that.’ It was somehow threatening.

Katie’s eyes – already bloodshot from crying – began filling with tears again. ‘Please don’t leave me. I want you to stay.’

Miranda’s face swung back to mine, gleaming with triumph.

‘You’ve got to explain to Katie how much danger she’s in,’ urged Ami quietly. ‘Make her understand.’

‘Katie,’ I said. ‘Think of everything she’s done to you. All the things she’s taken. Tell her to leave.’

But Katie shook her head. ‘I want her to stay.’

The nurse went over and took hold of Katie’s arm, leading her back to bed. ‘Enough of this nonsense.’

When Katie was tucked back in Miranda sat beside the bed, where I’d been sitting moments earlier.

‘I’m going to check on the food trolley,’ said the nurse. She glanced in my direction as she left the room. ‘When I come back I want you gone.’

Miranda smiled.
I win,
the smile said.
You lose.

It felt like everyone – Miranda, Katie, Ami – was looking at me then. Waiting for me to do something.

Rage blew across Ami’s face. ‘She can’t get away with this! Olive, you have to do something.’

I’ve thought so many times about that moment. What I
could
have done. Maybe I could’ve grabbed Katie and bolted for the door. She looked so light I could’ve carried her.
But where would we go? Maybe I should’ve run after the nurse and explained that Miranda was the last person to be left in charge of Katie. But what was the point? Katie didn’t want to
be saved.

Ami was beside me, whispering and pushing me. ‘Tell her. Tell Katie what Miranda is. You have to do this, Olive. It’s the only way.’

Miranda was speaking to Katie in a creepy, sing-song voice. She was stroking her hair. ‘You’ll look so funny when you’re fat. None of your clothes will fit. You’ll have
to give them all away.’

I took a step towards Miranda, not wanting my words to be dampened by the hum of air conditioner. ‘I know what you are.’

Ami nodded.

Miranda looked up at me. ‘Do you?’ she said, the lullaby tone replaced by something hard and cold. ‘What am I?’

‘You’re a parasite. A
shapeshifter
.’ Once I’d got those words out everything else started to flow. ‘You crawl in under people’s skin and leach them of
what makes them who they are. You drain them until there’s nothing left.’

Something flashed across Miranda’s face then. Shock, maybe. Or fear. Before I could decode it, it was gone, submerged by Miranda’s loud, angry laughter. ‘Do you know how insane
you sound?’ Then the anger faded and I saw something gleam in her eyes, sharp and bright. ‘But of course you don’t.’

I frowned. ‘What does
that
mean?’

‘Olive,’ said Ami, suddenly seeming agitated. She pulled at my arm. ‘Let’s forget about this. We’ve made a mistake. A big one. Let’s go.’

‘I’m not going anywhere,’ I muttered, shaking her off. I fixed my eyes on Miranda. ‘Tell me what you mean,’ I ordered.

Miranda’s top lip curled back. ‘You had a breakdown, didn’t you? Tried to kill yourself and ended up here, in the clinic.’

Once when I was a little kid I held my hand inside our deep freezer for five minutes, just to see what it felt like. My fingers went white at the tips and it was an hour before they felt normal
again. That coldness was nothing compared to what I was feeling now.

‘I’m better now,’ I said thickly. And I was, wasn’t I? I’d been doing my baby steps. Taking my meds – most of the time.

Ami started crying then. Strange – I’d never heard her cry before. Not even when she was telling me about her dad leaving and how hard it had been. ‘Please, Olive,’ she
said. ‘Please let’s just go.’

I didn’t look at her. That’s the thing I regret the most. I didn’t turn around and look at Ami one last time. But by then my head had begun to swirl and I couldn’t tear
my eyes away from Miranda and that nasty little smile of hers.

‘You really think you’re better?’ Miranda sneered. ‘Having an imaginary friend at your age is
normal
, is it?’

The wall clock ticked. In one minute, the door to Katie’s room would swing open and the food trolley would be pushed in by a woman in a baggy blue uniform and soft-soled shoes. The smell
of fatty lamb and watery vegetables would flood the room. Behind the trolley would be the nurse, coming to check that I had left. She would arrive just in time to see my eyes lose focus, my body
begin to sway. It would be her who rushed over to catch me as I fell. She would check my pulse and call for assistance. Orderlies would arrive with a stretcher and take me away.

But none of this had happened yet. The door to Room 12 was still closed. Miranda was looking around with this look of amused curiosity. ‘Is Ami here right now?’ she asked. ‘I
bet she is! I can always tell because you do that funny muttering. Can you point to her for me, Olive? I’d love to know exactly where you think she is.’