Shifting Gears (20 page)

Breathless again, I can only say,
“Okay.”

“Damn it, woman. Now can you please go
in there and collect your girl so I can drive the two of you back
to the hospital?”

Angry that he’s trying—hell more than
trying
—to control me, aroused by him protecting me, I can
only manage to squeak, “Okay.”

I walk back into the deli, where Katy
is still sitting, grinning from ear to ear. Yeah, if there was a
fan club forming, she would undoubtedly be its
president.

“Katy, sorry to cut lunch short, but
Holt’s going to drive us back to the hospital.”

She looks at me for a moment. “That
was hot. Him walking in like that and pulling you outta here. Damn,
girl. Don’t let him get away again.”

If only she knew the whole
story...

Holt is sitting on the hood of Sex on
Wheels, smoking a cigarette, which he throws out when he sees us.
Kilo’s in the front seat, wagging his tail and barking his head
off. I can’t help but giggle.

Katy seems to be taking everything in,
not saying a word as we approach the car.

“Ready?” Holt says.

“Holt, this is Katy. You might
remember her from the day you brought Kilo in? She’s our
receptionist. Katy, this is Holt Maddox.”

Katy grins. I know the grin. Sucked
into the black hole. “Hi, Mr. Maddox.”

“Sweets, Mr. Maddox is my father. You
can call me Holt.”

Hmm, so he does have a father...not
that I thought he was the devil’s spawn or anything.

“Okay, Holt,” she says
flirtatiously.

I can’t even be mad at her. The poor
girl can’t help herself. As if the sight of him isn’t enough, when
he opens that mouth...and that voice, like sex and
sweat...

Well, at least when he’s not pissed
off. Then the beast comes out.

Kilo is refusing to leave his spot in
the front seat.

Truly Holt’s partner in
crime.

I giggle as Katy and I take the back
seat.

When Holt starts up the engine, Katy
squeals, “Wow, Holt, this is a sweet ride. What is it?”

Holt grins in the rearview mirror.
“Thanks, sweets. It’s a classic, a Buick Special. I’ve had her a
long time, and she’s never let me down.”

“Does she go fast?”

“Oh yeah, she goes. Maybe I’ll take
you for a spin one day so you can see just how fast I can get her
up.”

Oh no the fuck he ain’t. He’s sitting
here, flirting with Katy right in front of me. I glare at him in
the mirror, and I know he sees it, because his grin grows
larger.

“But I gotta warn you, sweets, she’s a
bit untamed. Sometimes she needs me to take control of her.” His
eyes never leave my face.

I roll my eyes at the two of them
laughing and try to tune them out, but Katy turns to me and says,
“You got a thing for old cars too, don’t you, Niki? Like Clay’s
hot-ass Mustang. Now that’s a sweet ride too!”

I smile. Here’s my chance to change
Holt’s mood. I’ve got the upper hand now, and he knows it too. The
grin’s been wiped right the fuck off his face.

“Yep. I do. I love it when Clay takes
me out to drag in it. So fucking mind-blowing. The rush I get from
it.” I fan myself. “Whew. Hot as hell.” I laugh inside at my lie.
If they only knew how much Clay is just the opposite with his
‘baby.’

Katy has no clue what she’s just
unleashed with her innocent question. She’s still giggling. “Well,
any chance you’d take me out for a ride?”

Holt fakes a laugh. “Anytime, sweets,
just say the word.” The look he directs at me is dangerously feral
and it cuts me, because, even though I won the battle of words, I
know I went too far.

At the hospital, Katy and I get out as
Holt walks around, opens the door for Kilo, and attaches his leash
to his collar. When he hands him over to me, Katy must sense he
wants a private moment because she walks ahead of us into the
hospital.

I stand there, gripping Kilo’s leash,
and wait for the backlash. As soon as Katy is out of earshot, he
lets loose. “I know I don’t deserve a lot. I probably don’t deserve
you, but I don’t give a fuck. I want you. I can’t take back time
and the shit that built up in your head, I know all that.” He runs
his hand through his hair, and my knees go weak. “Babe, I remember
how fast you were on my cock back when we would drag. Never forget
that shit, Nicolette. So you talking shit about how you like taking
a ride with Clay only makes me think you’ve fucked him. Need to
know, babe, so I can handle that shit.”

Those brief moments in my bedroom are
long gone. That tenderness, his sweetness. Gone. I fight back the
urge to slap him in the face.

“First, it’s none of your business who
I have or haven’t had sex with. Second, Clay is bi but clearly
turns to men more. You obviously haven’t noticed that.”

He shakes his head and lets out a
laugh. “I already knew that, Nicolette. You, on the other hand,
have
clearly
not seen just how much that man is in love with
you.”

That ridiculous comment gets a howl of
laughter out of me. I reach down to pet Kilo, telling him, “I think
your Daddy has fallen and hit his head, baby.”

“Ask your girls. They’ll tell you. I’m
sure they see that fucked up shit too.”

“You’re wrong, Holt. I met him
when…well, after you left. I was a different person back then. Clay
kind of changed me, and we grew close. He’s become, like, my
protector, the brother I never had. That’s why he goes into
protective mode whenever you’re around.”

“No, babe, he’s going into
protecting-what-I-think-is-mine mode. I know it all too well. Trust
me.” He tilts his head and raises a brow. “So, you going to fucking
answer me or not? Have you fucked him?”

Anger surges through me, but I do my
best not to raise my voice. “No, damn it, I have not fucked him.”
If he only knew he’s my first and last. If only. I’m so angry, I
almost confess, but I’m not giving him the satisfaction.

“Good. So it’s just as I thought,” he
says but doesn’t tell me what he means.

Ass. I probably don’t want to know
anyway. Some sexual bullshit, for sure…and whatever he’s thinking,
he’s probably right. Damn it.

“Look, I’ve got to get back to work. I
get off at five- thirty,” I say through gritted teeth. “Kilo and I
will be ready.”

I pull on Kilo’s leash and stalk off.
How can he ignite my senses so much? Not just sexual desires, but
the rage, the frustration he brings out in me. And when he does,
there’s no turning back. My self-control is gone.

****

I’m finishing up with Annabelle, one
of my last patients for the day, when Katy comes on the speaker,
saying she needs me up front when I’m available. Hooking
Annabelle’s mom up with samples of the latest heartworm preventive
gummies, I walk them out and head toward Katy.

“What’s up?”

She looks up, frowning. “It’s
Kilo.”

My heart skips a beat, and I’m
thinking the worst. “What? What’s the matter with Kilo? Did
something happen?”

“No, no, he’s okay. It’s just that,
well, Jason told me to get you to come over as soon as you could.
Apparently, Kilo isn’t taking well to the other dogs.”

I gape at her. Surely there’s got to
be a mistake? From what I’ve seen of Kilo, he’s a sweetheart. Then
again, I haven’t seen him interact with other animals.

“Okay, I’m headed over there if
anyone’s looking for me.”

I see Jason first and then, as I nudge
my head past him, a very sad-looking, caged Kilo.

“What happened?”

“He was acting aggressive with the
other males. I had to pull him out when he kept stalking them and
almost attacked one.”

Kilo’s drooping in the cage, as if he
knows he’s being punished. Poor baby. I feel bad because I hadn’t
been thinking.

He’s alone all the time. On the road
with Holt or stuck in a motel room, alone. He’s probably not used
to interacting with other dogs.

Damn it. I hate it when people buy an
animal and either get rid of it when it stops being cute or it’s
too much work, or mistreat it in some way, which is what I’m afraid
happened to Kilo.

Well, damn, this isn’t going to work.
I can’t stomach the thought of leaving him alone in that motel room
anymore though. I have to think of something. Not knowing what, I
call Holt.

“Hey, it’s Niki.”

“Babe, I know it’s you.”

“Uh, okay. I’m calling because Kilo’s
not going to be able to stay here, after all. He’s being aggressive
with the other males. I should’ve thought this out a little better
before letting you bring him here. I feel like such an idiot, and I
feel bad for Kilo. I’m really sorry, but can you please come get
him?”

There are voices in the background—a
man talking and then…and then a woman laughing, right next to the
phone. I cringe.

Doesn’t matter, Nik. Doesn’t matter
if he’s a lying piece of shit, out fucking around with another
woman. He’s not yours
.

This “thing” is only until he finds
Doc C then I’ll end this.

A man yells, “Maddox, you coming?” and
then the phone sounds muffled. He’s putting his hand over it so I
can’t hear.

“I’ll be there, babe.” He hangs
up.

No fucking clue about this man, his
life, where he goes during the day, if he has friends.
Nothing.

Doesn’t matter. Doesn’t
fucking matter.

By the time he arrives, it’s close to
the end of my shift, so I collect the still-sulking Kilo from his
crate and reluctantly walk him out to Holt in the waiting
room.

“I’m really sorry for doing this to
him. I’m sure it was a stressful day for him, and it’s all my fault
for not thinking.”

“Babe, relax. We’ll be out in the
car.”

****

Kilo is nudged up against Holt when I
walk out to them. Sitting so close to together like that, it’s
clear they’ve bonded. Like maybe both of them have had fucked up
times and found a little happy with one another. It’s a little
heart-wrenching, actually, because I don’t know what kind of life
Kilo had before Holt found him. And, I think for the first time, I
don’t know anything about what kind of life
Holt
might’ve
had growing up.

I shake my head, trying to clear my
thoughts. It’s not good for me to think like that. It doesn’t help
with my plan.

Kilo jumps into the backseat, freeing
the front for me. As I put my seatbelt on, Holt reaches over and
palms my chin. When he caresses it with his thumb, I go numb at the
sudden, unexpected touch.

I’ve been keeping my distance from him
since the night we had sex again, but he hasn’t said anything about
it. What he has done is refrain from touching me. Until this
moment, and it easily sets my body on fire.

Still caressing my chin and looking at
me with those beautiful blue eyes, he says, “Don’t blame yourself
for anything, baby. I know how much you love animals, and I know
you’d never hurt Kilo. You were trying to do something good for
him. Neither of us could’ve known what his reaction was going to
be. Now we do. Instead of beating yourself up, let’s try to put our
heads together and figure out what we can do now.”

His words are so sweet and exactly
what I need to hear. “Thank you, Holt.”

His mouth rises in a smile as he
traces his thumb across my chin. “Anything for you,
baby.”

When we get to the condo, I’m relieved
no one’s there. I worried on the drive over that Clay would be here
to see me trade out my overnight bag for a suitcase and get the
wrong idea. Since staying at the hospital is out of the question
for Kilo, there’s no way in hell I’m going to be the reason he has
to spend all night alone too, so my only option is to stay with
Holt.

I really didn’t like the tension
between Clay and Holt either, and Holt’s ideas about Clay’s
feelings for me just add to it. I still think he’s reading him
wrong though. Regardless, I can’t avoid talking to Clay—his
friendship means the world to me. He was there to help pick up the
pieces Holt left behind, even if he never understood what broke me
in the first place. I need to make sure he understands why I’m
letting Holt have this control. That he really is looking out for
my safety.

I walk out of my bedroom with my
suitcase in tow, and Holt stares at it. When he lifts his gaze back
up to my face, he grins. He doesn’t say a word, just grins. Clay
isn’t the only one I should’ve been worried about getting the wrong
idea. As long as he doesn’t touch me. Please don’t let him touch
me.

“We need to stop at the store to get
some coffee and cereal and milk.”

“Your wish is my command, babe.” God,
why does he keep saying that?

I stay in the car while Holt runs into
the grocery store. Perfect time to call Cass.

“Kilo didn’t play well with the other
dogs, so I’m staying at Holt’s for a while. Until we can figure out
what else to do.”