Shifting Gears (19 page)

I look over to the couch where Holt is
scrunched up in what looks like the most miserably uncomfortable
position. One of his legs is hanging off the couch while the other
is hiked up over the back of it. His neck looks twisted. He’s
probably had even less sleep than I have. I feel horribly guilty
for not asking him to come back to bed, but I know it would’ve been
a mistake if I did.

I slowly get out of bed then grab my
shower stuff and head to the bathroom. Minutes later, I’m
conditioning my hair when the bathroom door bangs open. My heart
stops. It could be Vinnie! Shit. I frantically search the shower
for something to use as a weapon, but all I can find is my shampoo
bottle. I guess it could pack a powerful punch if I hit him across
his head hard enough. Maybe. I take hold of it, ready to sling it
at whoever’s about to slide the shower curtain open and attack
me.

“Morning.”

Holt? Relief slams into me, but a
second later, it’s followed by anger.

“Really, Holt, can I not get any
privacy?”

“Babe, you’re forgetting I’ve already
seen every inch of that beautiful body of yours. I’m just in here
to take a piss. Unless you invite me into the shower, you don’t
have to worry about me doing anything more than that.”

I don’t utter a sound as I hear him
walk out, shutting the door behind him. The vision of him fucking
me under the hot, pounding water almost has me calling him back. I
manage to stop myself but have no control over my hand as I drop
it, sliding a finger in to cure my need.

As I walk out of the bathroom, I focus
on hiding what his words did to me yet again. From the corner of my
eye, I see that he’s now dressed and sitting on the
couch.

I can feel him watching me as I pull
my hair up into its normal tight ponytail. I glance at myself in
the mirrored panels, looking at my I’m-not-looking-for a man icky
brown scrubs. Satisfied with my appearance, I fish my car keys out
of my purse and hear Holt shift to stand.

“You do realize I drive you to work
from now on, right?”

I jerk my neck to face him. “Excuse
me?”

“You heard me, babe. I’m not taking
any fucking chances with you. I told you. The only time you are out
of my sight is when you’re at work or with your friends. Never
alone. In a car driving to work, you’re alone. Not going to
happen.”

He really is serious about this Vinnie
guy. “Okay, fine!” I shout. I have to get to work and have no time
to fight with him—not that I would win, anyway. “So you think maybe
you can take me now before I’m late?” I snatch my purse from the
table and throw it over my shoulder.

“Your wish is my command, baby.” He
grins.

How many wishes am I up to now? Shit,
even one is bad news for me.

Panic sets in as we pull into a
parking spot outside the hospital. I don’t want anyone to see us
together. I’m not ready, nor will I ever be, to deal with the
questions that will surely come.

I scramble out, slamming the door
behind me. As I bend back down into the open window, I thank him
for the ride to work. “So you’re going to bring Kilo later,
right?”

“Yeah, got some shit to do this
morning, but I’ll bring him this afternoon then pick both of you up
when you get off.”

The sound of those words from his
lips. God. I can’t help but feel warm inside from them.

“Babe, don’t forget. Not alone. You go
out to lunch, you go with someone.”

“Okay, okay. I probably won’t even
make it out for lunch, so no worries.”

“You gotta eat, Nicolette.”

“Okay, Dad.”

His mood changes instantly. “I am not
your fucking father, although right now you could use some parental
adjustment. Like a goddamn spanking over my fucking knee. I don’t
need you passing out on me when you beg for my cock again
either.”

“Um, okay, Holt. Got it.” I’m barely
able to get the words out, rocked as I am by the vision.

I look around the parking lot. Thank
God no one’s around to hear his raised voice. My cheeks are on
fire, but I’m so frazzled I don’t know whether it’s from him
scolding me or the sudden image of being bent over his knee and
spanked. Damn it.

“Bye.” I quickly turn and walk
away.

“Bye, beautiful,” he says through his
chuckles.

The roar of Sex of Wheels is in the
background as my thoughts go to his words. He’s giving me space.
Waiting for me to want him again.

Katy’s mouth is gaping when I walk
into the hospital. Great. She saw.

I ignore her wide eyes and try to
breeze past her. “Morning, Katy.”

She lets out a huff. “Oh my God, Niki,
did you just get out of Hot Man’s car? Does that mean you guys are,
like, together? Please, Niki, for all that’s holy, you gotta give
me some deets here! When did this happen, because I thought—” She
stops abruptly.

What is she thinking? God, have the
rumors already started, thanks to Beth?

I’ve got to give her something so she
doesn’t combust, and I really don’t want to lie to her.

“Let’s have lunch, and I’ll explain,
okay?”

Her face lights up like a kid on
Christmas morning.

****

The day is flying by, but with no sign
of Beth. I’d hoped I could pull her aside today, apologize for my
abruptness when I confronted her about Holt. Unfortunately, when I
look at the boards, I discover it’s her day off, which just delays
the conversation yet again.

Just before lunch, I’m walking up to
reception to get my charts for my afternoon patients, when I hear
the commotion. Alfie, our one and only parrot client, is flying
around the lobby. He has a tendency to take a tour of the hospital
to escape the exam room. We all know Alfie pretty well and know how
harmless he is, so the flying around doesn’t alarm us.

Unfortunately, Mrs. Harris, in the
waiting room with her little white bichon, Francie, is not as calm.
Which is probably because Alfie has decided to perch on her head.
She isn’t familiar with him, so she starts swatting at her head to
get him off. After a few moments of this, Alfie finally flies off,
but, to Mrs. Harris’s shock—and, I imagine, embarrassment—he takes
her perfectly-groomed wig with him.

Katy makes the mistake of busting out
laughing as Alfie flies around the waiting room with her blond
curls dangling from his claws. It’s a funny sight, and I have to
stifle my laughter, especially after Mrs. Harris jumps up with
Francie in her arms and demands, “Stop that bird! He stole my
periwig!”

Katy, between fits of laughter, says
“Peri what? Oh, you mean your fake hair?”

I lose it at that point, unable to
hold back the laughter.

Mrs. Harris glares at me. “This is the
most unprofessionally run hospital now that Doctor Caravan’s put
you in charge, young lady. You should be ashamed of yourself for
what you’ve let it become!”

Jason, one of our kennel techs,
must’ve heard the racket because he rushes into the lobby. He
manages to retrieve Mrs. Harris’s wig from Alfie. When he starts to
brush it off, it appears to further infuriate Mrs. Harris, who’s
huffing and puffing at this point.

Snatching it from his hands, she says,
“Francie and I will
not
be coming back here, that is for
sure.” She picks up Francie’s carrier and marches with her chin so
high in the air I think she might’ve just given herself whiplash.
She storms out the door, slamming it behind her.

After her theatrical exit, Katy, Jason
and I continue to stare at the door for a few moments.

Eventually Katy breaks the stunned
silence. “Don’t pay her no mind, Niki. You know she’s just mad
cause we found out her hair ain’t real. Even the fake one ain’t
that pretty, if you ask me. I bet she got it on
discount!”

That gets all of us laughing
again.

Katy silences her laugh. “And, Nik,
don’t even think about letting what she said get to you. You know
she’s a snooty old hag with a fake everything. She’ll be back
because she knows we take good care of her precious Francie. She
knows you’re good too, Niki. She’s just blowing smoke because we
saw her bald head.”

I’d be lying if I said her words
hadn’t cut me a little. This is one of those times when it’s hard
not being able to pick up the phone to call Doc C. Let him reassure
me that I should be in charge, that I know what I’m doing. It’s
hard not to doubt myself sometimes.

****

At lunchtime, Katy and I walk down to
the nearby deli. Known for bread that’s baked from scratch every
day, we at the hospital frequent it often as it’s just two blocks
away. The smell of fresh onions and the clatter of voices hit us as
we walk in and grab a table.

“Well?” Katy says
excitedly.

I’ve just taken a bite of my sandwich,
so I have to field Katy’s eagerness to hear about Holt until I can
swallow. “Okay, here goes... Holt and I were together a few years
ago for a very short time. He suddenly had to leave town for work,
and now he’s back, and he wants to pick up where we left off. I, on
the other hand, am not too sure about all that, but I’m considering
it.”

No way am I telling her about Vinnie.
I’m sure it will scare her knowing there’s a possibility she, or
any of us at the hospital, will be in danger. I hate keeping it
from her, but it’s for the best. And it’s not like Holt will mind
people thinking we’re together. Damn it.

“Wow. That is so freaking hot. After
all this time, he comes back to claim you. I love it! You know,
I’ve never seen you even date anybody and always wondered why. Now
I see you were holding out for the hotness! Totally got you now,
girl. I hope it works out, because that man is something I see in
my dreams. Oops, sorry.”

“I’m not with him. Not really. I mean,
he thinks we are, I think, but...I don’t know.”

“If I wasn’t afraid of losing my job,
I would slap you right now. If it were me, there would be no
considering. I would wrap my legs around that real quick.” She
giggles and her cheeks flush. She’s visualizing it. After seeing
Holt, most women probably have the same thoughts. It’s hard not
to.

My cell chirps in my purse. It’s Holt.
My heart skips (What the hell? Every time?) and I answer, shushing
Katy.

“Hey, babe. Just calling to let you
know I’m bringing Kilo in. I’ll be there in five
minutes.”

“Um, okay. Well, I’m not there right
now, but I’ll call Jason to let him know you’re coming.”

“Where are you? Please tell me you
didn’t do something stupid and go out by yourself?”

His tone of voice—demanding,
anxious—makes me angry. But I’m stuck. I have to fight back the
urge to say fuck you. I can’t risk pissing him off. Then all hope
of me finding Doc would be gone.

“Holt, I told you I wouldn’t go out
alone, and I didn’t. Katy and I are right down the street at the
deli.”

“Did you walk there?”

What difference does that
make?

“Um, yeah, we did.”

“Goddamn it. I thought I’d made myself
clear. Do you not fucking understand this man could be stalking you
as we speak, ready to grab you? He takes what he wants, when he
wants it.”

“Really, Holt, it’s two blocks from
the hospital. It’s okay.”

“Damn it, Nicolette. Fuck.”

“I really—”

He hung up.

Mad as hell, I throw my phone back
into my purse. Katy gasps, and I look up to find her staring at
something behind me. I turn around in my chair.

Holt.

Shit.

The heat of the anger pouring off his
face burns my skin as he stalks over to our table. As he reaches
it, he looks down at me then turns to Katy.

“Would you excuse us for a moment,
sweets? I need to speak with Dr. Stringer.”

Katy doesn’t say a word, just stares
at Holt then slowly nods. Good grief. Holt pulls on my arm, lifting
me from my chair, and proceeds to lead me out of the
deli.

Outside, he pushes me up against the
side of the building, and damn it, I can’t help having flashbacks
of that night outside The Rox...

I push it aside and yell at him.
“Don’t you think you’re overreacting just a little? It’s a fucking
block—okay, two blocks—from the hospital, and I wasn’t
alone!”

He looks at me with such fury, it
sends chills down my spine. “You are not walking anywhere anymore
unless you are standing right fucking beside me and I’m fucking
walking with you. Got it?”

“I—”

“There is nothing I need to hear come
out of that fucking sweet-ass mouth of yours right now except the
word ‘okay,’ so whatever you think you’re about to say, save that
shit. You don’t fucking know this man, Nicolette. I do. I’ve seen
with my own fucking eyes what he’s capable of. That piece of shit
is not even getting near the same air you breathe. What I need to
hear from you right now is that you get me.”