Shimmer: The Rephaim Book 3 (4 page)

‘You don’t know what’s going on at the farmhouse, and imagining the worst doesn’t change that. All it does is paralyse you, which helps nobody.’

He’s right, I know he is. But the fear is deep in my bones now. A part of me. And then the realisation hits: I know how I can find out exactly what’s happening in that room. I take a deep breath and tap in Maggie’s number. I need to hear her voice before I talk to Jason. Her phone rings six times. It’s about to go to voicemail—

‘Gaby.’ Her voice is bright, warm. I can hear soft music in the background, tinkling glasses. I close my eyes and wish I didn’t have to take this moment from her.

‘Mags…’

‘What is it?’ Her fear is instant. ‘What happened with the Butlers?’

I focus on the worn pew so I don’t have to see everyone watching me deliver the news. I stall. ‘Is Jason with you?’

‘Of course.’

‘Are you still in Melbourne?’

‘Yes—babe, where are you?’

‘The Sanctuary.’

I hear her intake of breath. ‘Why? Is everything okay? Is Jude—’

‘Jude’s fine.’ I dig my fingernail into a gouge in the timber, remember that three of the Five are still in the room. ‘Zarael attacked. He got Taya and…and Rafa.’ I bite the inside of my lip. Jude takes the phone from me.

‘Hey, hey. It’s okay, Maggie, they’re alive.’ He pauses, taps his thumb on his thigh. A glance at Daniel. ‘Yeah, he and Taya followed us up there. He reckons the demons took them as leverage. Or bait.’ He listens for a moment. ‘Simon’s okay. He’s here with us. So are the brothers and their mates. They’re a bit knocked around…Yeah, Maggie, we will. We’ll look after them.’

I don’t know if he means Rafa and Taya or Simon and the Butlers. Guilt stabs at me. Rafa warned the Butlers their guns were no match for demons, and now they know. Beyond any doubt.

I force myself to concentrate on the feel of the cool air filling my nose and lungs. I exhale. Breathe deeply again. When I feel closer to calm, I ask for the phone back.

‘Oh god, Gaby…’ Maggie’s voice cracks. ‘Are you okay?’

‘I’d be better if everyone here stopped arguing long enough to come up with a plan.’ I meet Daniel’s eyes. He doesn’t blink.

‘Are you safe? I mean, last time you were there…’ She doesn’t finish the sentence. She doesn’t need to.

‘Jude’s here. So are Ez and Zak.’

‘It’s the Sanctuary, Gaby. They hurt you.’

‘I know.’ I turn away from the Rephaim and Outcasts, tuck my knees to my chin. I wish Maggie and I were at the old table in our kitchen, hands wrapped around chipped coffee mugs, talking about books she loves and places I’ve seen and wishing it was Friday already.

‘Then why—’

‘We need them. There’s not enough of us to go after the Gatekeepers on our own.’

‘Why do you have to go?’

‘Because it’s Rafa,’ I whisper. ‘And this is my life now.’

A sigh. ‘Babe—oh, hang on. Jason wants to talk to you.’ There are muffled words before she hands the phone over.

‘Gaby, I’m sorry.’

I swallow. ‘Me too.’

‘What do you need?’

‘You and Maggie here, safe.’

A long pause. ‘Gaby, I’m not coming to the Sanctuary.’

I close my eyes. I get it. I get that he’s avoided the Sanctuary his entire life. But I need him to see beyond all that, as hard as it will be. This is more important.
Rafa
is more important.

‘Nathaniel’s done something here that keeps demons out.’

A beat. ‘How?’

‘I don’t know, wards that work like the iron room. Ask him when you get here.’ Jason doesn’t respond so I push on. ‘Look, you don’t have to side with anyone and nobody can force you stay here.’

‘I’ll think about it.’

‘Jason—’

‘We’re safe where we are for the moment.’

‘How can you be sure? The Gatekeepers found the house in Iowa, and we didn’t lead them there. And you can’t go back to Pan Beach, not now.’

‘I know.’ I hear a frustrated sigh. ‘Let me think about it.’

‘One more thing.’ I swallow, drop my voice. ‘I need to see Dani.’

No response.

‘Jason?’

Still nothing.

I stand up and clutch my blanket tighter, head to the far end of the chapterhouse. ‘Jason.’ I move further into the shadows, check that nobody has followed me.

‘Have you told them about her?’ His voice is stiff, distant.

‘Of course not, but—’

‘She’s not getting involved in this nightmare.’

My heart squeezes. Of course he’s resisting this, but he needs to remember what’s at stake. Who’s at stake. ‘At least give her the choice. Give me the number.’

‘You know she won’t answer.’

‘Then I’ll leave a message. Jason—’

‘You can’t ask me do to this. I’ve kept my family—
our
family—safe from Nathaniel for all these years. If he finds out what she can do…We can’t un-ring that bell.’

‘And we can’t reattach Rafa’s head if Zarael hacks it off.’ I feel the strain in my voice. Too loud. I check over my shoulder. Yep: everyone’s watching. I breathe in, try to calm myself. ‘We need to know what’s going on in that room.’ I lower my voice again. ‘And we need her here. We can protect her. Please.’

‘Gaby…’

‘I’m not asking her to go in there and get them out.’

‘No, you’re asking her to give up a family secret that could get her killed—or worse.’ He pauses. ‘Why does she have to be there?’

‘Because even if she agrees, her mother’s just as likely to disappear with her again and leave us in the dark. Will you call her?’

More silence. And then: ‘Give me a minute.’

I strain to hear the hushed conversation on the other end.

Why don’t you let Dani decide?

It’s not a decision for a twelve-year-old.

She strikes me as an intelligent girl, Jason. Just ask.

There’s a crackling noise as the phone is handed over. ‘He’ll call her.’

‘Are you sure?’

Maggie hesitates, and I can picture her silently confirming it with Jason. ‘Yes.’

I sag back against the cold stone wall, close my eyes.

‘Is it really safe there?’ She sounds edgy.

I look over at Nathaniel and Daniel, both watching me; at Jude standing rigid, waiting, a huddle of Outcasts behind him.

‘I honestly have no idea. But it’s the safest place for all of us right now.’

FIRE AND ICE

Nathaniel moves towards me as soon as I hang up. Can’t he give me a second to breathe?

‘He’s thinking about it,’ I say.

‘What is there to think about?’

Do I tell him how much Jason hates him for what he did to our mothers? It’s not going to help get Rafa back. Nathaniel’s icy gaze flickers. Does he know I know?

‘Shouldn’t you and the Five be off somewhere making a decision about Iowa?’

He watches me a moment longer. It’s like being caught in headlights on the highway. In the middle of winter. ‘Brother Stephen will show you all to your rooms now.’

‘We won’t be here long enough to need a bed,’ I say.

Nathaniel’s expression doesn’t change. ‘When you are ready a meal will be waiting in the commissary.’

He leaves and Uri and Calista follow him out. Daniel lingers. He waits until the door rasps shut and then crosses the room. Gives me a subtle once-over, even though he knows I wasn’t physically hurt during the attack. ‘Are you all right?’

‘No, Daniel, I’m really not.’

Behind him, Brother Stephen waits for the Outcasts to acknowledge him, but they’re too busy with Jude. Ez, Zak and Mya have known for a few hours that he’s alive. For the rest of them it’s only been a matter of minutes.

Daniel follows my gaze and watches Jones drag Jude into a man hug. Next in line is the tall Scandinavian, Seth. It’s just like with Ez, Zak and Mya: nobody cares what Jude did a year ago. They’re too elated to have him back.

Daniel turns back to me. ‘You really did a mercenary job with them.’ It’s not a question.

‘Don’t.’ I breathe in camphor from the blanket. ‘Just… don’t.’ I can live without hearing his opinion yet again on how I should be thinking and behaving. How I should be more like the Gabe he remembers. Whatever he sees in my face stops the rest of his lecture. He reconsiders his approach.

‘You need to stop pushing Nathaniel.’

‘Why? Is he that fickle that he’d leave Rafa and Taya to Zarael just to teach me a lesson?’

‘Nathaniel is an angel, Gabriella, he’s not prone to petty human emotions.’

‘Then what does it matter how much I push him?’

‘The rift between the Rephaim was caused because that group’—he tips his head in the direction of the Outcasts, their voices getting louder around Jude—‘lost respect for Nathaniel as our mentor and protector.’

‘I thought it was because Nathaniel refused to explain what the archangels want from us, beyond finding the Fallen.’

‘If Nathaniel doesn’t share information, it’s for our own protection.’

‘Is that why he never told you this place is warded against demons? To protect you?’

Daniel’s nostrils flare the tiniest bit. ‘I trust Nathaniel’s judgment.’

‘Well, I’m glad one of us does because Rafa and Taya’s lives are in his hands.’

‘Nathaniel is not a dictator. The Five will have just as much of a say—’

‘Then go and make sure the right decision is made.’

Now that he’s close, I can see the lines around his mouth; the dark shadows under his eyes. The stress he’s been working so hard to hide since we got here. God, he’s a mess: this is bad. The grip on my heart tightens.

‘We have to get them back, Daniel. Please.’

Something changes when I say his name. He’s not seeing me; he’s seeing the old Gabe, the Gabe he knew and trusted. For a few seconds, it’s just Daniel and his memories.

‘I’ll do what I can.’

‘Thank you.’

He looks around, remembers I’m not Gabe and that we’re not alone. He straightens his shoulders and his shirt. ‘This may take a while.’ He says it loud enough to carry to the others. ‘Stay out of trouble.’

I don’t know if he’s talking to me, Jude, or all of us and I don’t get a chance to ask because he shifts as soon as he says it.

Not: walks calmly from the room to demonstrate how in control he is.

Shifts.

YOU CAN CHECK OUT ANY TIME YOU LIKE…

Brother Stephen leads us out of the chapterhouse into a chilly grey morning. Low clouds blanket the mountains, pressing down on the ancient sandstone building ahead of us. High walls hem us in. I breathe in the sharp scent of pine needles and cold air nips at my nose and ears.

We cross a courtyard, swords in hand. The Outcasts follow, framed by carved columns and the domed roof of the chapterhouse. We pass a marble statue of a warrior angel twice as tall as Nathaniel, streaked and cracked from decades of wind, snow and sunshine. The angel’s wings are outstretched, sword raised in triumph, his expression grim. Trees whisper beyond the wall. Boots crunch on gravel.

Jude stays close, keeps glancing my way. ‘You okay?’

‘Better now I’m moving.’ The anger’s gone. It drained away in the quiet of the chapterhouse. Now I’m numb again, which is still better than the panic hovering somewhere behind me.

We walk under an archway and into an expansive piazza, flanked on all sides by three-storey buildings and cloistered walkways. A fountain dominates the manicured grass; water spills over the lip of a large stone bowl and splashes softly into a pond below. The piazza is familiar—it’s the one I saw out the window when I was last here, although from this angle it looks more like one in the photos from the iron room.

The iron room…

I crush that thought, focus instead on following Brother Stephen’s shuffled steps along the cloister. Try to ignore the churning in my stomach. I need to move faster; I need to run until my vision blurs and my legs are on fire. I might not be able to outrun this feeling, but pain would at least be a distraction.

This place is so…mediaeval. Lanterns hang from brass chains above us. Cracked wooden benches sit against the walls under windows dull with age and grime. We pass a clay pot filled with lavender and I pick off a leaf and crush it between my fingers. The smell is almost calming. Almost.

We reach the end of the cloister and Brother Stephen holds open a carved door, waves our group inside. The Outcasts mill about at the base of a wide staircase, fidgeting. The air is warmer in here. The stairs creak as we climb to the first storey. At the top, my stomach twists. This could be the same hallway I was dragged down last week. It’s a lot like it—beige walls, beige carpet. There’s even a lift at the other end.

‘Gaby?’ Jude’s hand is on my elbow again. I didn’t realise I’d stopped walking. I’m bone cold, despite the central heating.

‘It’s…I’m fine,’ I say. ‘Just thinking about the last time I was here.’

‘This will be nothing like that. This time you’ve got back-up.’ He gestures to the Outcasts around us.

I’ve got some currency with the Outcasts thanks to the job in LA, but I’m not going to kid myself: they’re here for Rafa and Jude. They’re not here for me. And there’s no love for me from the Sanctuary Rephaim either—except for maybe Daisy.

Brother Stephen gives Jude and me the first two rooms. I wait while Jude does a quick lap of his. The monk directs the others down the hall but hesitates when I touch the sleeve of his robe.

‘Where’s Daisy’s room?’ I ask quietly. I’d feel better knowing she’s not too far away.

He considers the question. His eyes are pale blue and faded with age but still sharp, intelligent. ‘Her quarters are on the next floor. But you will find she spends most of her spare time in the gymnasium.’

Brother Stephen follows after the Outcasts and I go into the room next to Jude’s. It’s exactly like the one Daniel brought me to last week: polished furniture and white muslin curtains over old-fashioned timber-framed windows. Sterile.

I toss my sword onto the bed. I drop the blanket and go to the window, look down at the piazza. I can’t believe I’m back here. This time Rafa’s not coming to save me; this time, I have to save him. I grip the window ledge. I can do this. I have to do this. If ever I needed to channel badass Gabe, now’s the time. But she’s as far away from me as Rafa.

‘We used to live here?’ Jude asks, joining me.